汉英语篇翻译好坏比较研究

2023年12月25日发(作者：奋进的诗句)

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汉英语篇翻译好坏比较研究

-----以《背影》两种译本为例

《背影》是朱自清先生的名作，被多次选入小学教材中，我们基本上都熟知这篇感人至深的散文，本文节选了一些其中段落，并以张培基先生和杨宪益先生的译文为例来对比赏析，并探讨一下散文英译的方法与遣词及其传递的不同情感

我与父亲不相见已二年余了，我最不能忘记的是他的背影。那年冬天，祖母死了，父亲的差使也交卸了，正是祸不单行的日子，我从北京到徐州，打算跟着父亲奔丧回家。到徐州见着父亲，看见满院狼藉的东西，又想起祖母，不禁簌簌地流下眼泪。父亲说:“事已如此，不必难过，好在天无绝人之路!”

It is more than two years since I last saw father，and what I can never forget is the sight of his back. Misfortunes never come singly. In the winter of more than two years ago，grandma died and father lost his job. I left Bei-jing for Xuzhou to join father in hastening home to attend grandma's funeral. When I met father in Xuzhou，the sight of the

disorderly mess in his courtyard and the thought of grandma started tears trickling down my cheeks. Father said，"Now that things' ve came to such a pass，it's no u crying. Fortunately，Heaven always leaves one a way out.”

( 张培基译 )

Though it is over two years since I saw my father, I can never forget my last view of his back. That winter my grandmother died, and my f.专业资料.

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ather’s official appointment was terminated, for troubles never come singly. I went from Beijing to Xuzhou, to go back with him for the funeral. When I joined him in Xuzhou I found the courtyard strewn with things and could not help shedding tears at the thought of granny. “What’s past is gone,” said my father. “It’s no u grieving. Heaven always leaves us some way out.

（杨宪益译）

1. “我与父亲不相见已二年余了，我最不能忘记的是他的背影。”

张先生译的是 “It is more than two years since I last saw father，and what I can never forget is the sight of his back.”

杨先生译的是 “Though it is over two years since I saw my father, I can never forget my last view of his back.”

汉英属于不同语系的英语和汉语在句法上各具特色，其间差异不一而足。奈达在其《Translating Meaning》（1983）一书中指出：就汉语和英语而言，也许在语言学上最重要的一个区别，就是形合和意合的对比（contrast between

hypotaxis and parataxis）。其实，“意合”一词，并非奈达首创。语法学家王力在其《中国语法理论》及《汉语语法纲要》两本书中皆提及了“意合”。他在后者中言及：复合句里既有两个以上的句子形式，它们之间的联系有时候是以意合的……。

英语重形合，汉语重意合。-- 早已是人们的共识。英语借助connectives（连接词）组成复句，汉语则可依靠语序直接组合复句。我觉得张先生有些汉.专业资料.

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语思维的痕迹，只是按照好于的顺序译过来没有达到形合，而杨先生这句运用了连词though串起了整句话，更加原汁原味，读起来更符合英语习惯，并且字数更少，更简洁。并且使用view使得这句话更具画面感。

2. “正是祸不单行的日子”较之杨先生”troubles never come singly”张先生翻成”Misfortunes never come singly.”似乎更好些，因为此时朱自清先生遭遇的是亲人的离去等不幸，misfortune更侧重人生大不幸，命运的，trouble更侧重麻烦，令人苦恼的事，而且也没有让人有悲伤的感觉。

3. “我从北京到徐州，打算跟着父亲奔丧回家。我认为张先生译的更好 “I left

Bei-jing for Xuzhou to join father in hastening home to attend grandma's funeral.”因为相比杨先生的 “I went from Beijing to Xuzhou, to go back with him for the funeral.” Left…for 比 went to 更地道 而且奔丧回家译成hastening home to attend grandma's funeral.比go back with him for the funeral.”更能传递作者朱自清当时的事发的突然，更能表现出祸不单行。而且go back 太平常，缺少感情。

4.不必难过，张先生译为it's no u crying，杨先生以为it’s no u grieving.就我个人而言，我认为杨先生译的更好，因为crying表示的哭的动作grieving更侧重与内心的无比痛苦，更能表现作者内心的伤痛，这种伤痛就算大哭也去不掉 。

我说道，“爸爸，你走吧。”他望车外看了看，说，“我买几个橘子去。你就在此地，不要走动。”我看那边月台的栅栏外有几个卖东西的等着顾客。走到那边月台，须穿过铁道，须跳下去又爬上去。父亲是一个胖子，走过去自然要费些.专业资料.

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事。我本来要去的，他不肯，只好让他去。我看见他戴着黑布小帽，穿着黑布大马褂，深青布棉袍，瞒姗地走到铁道边，慢慢探身下去，尚不大难。可是他穿过铁道，要爬上那边月台，就不容易了。他用两手攀着上面，两脚再向上缩;他肥胖的身子向左微倾，显出努力的样子。这时我看见他的背影，我的眼泪很快地流下来了。我赶紧拭泪，怕他看见，也怕别人看见。我再向外看时，他已抱了朱红的橘子往回走了。过铁道时，他先将橘子散放在地上，自己慢慢爬下，再抱起橘子走。到这边时，我赶紧去搀他。他和我走到车上，将橘子一股脑儿放在我的皮大衣上。于是扑扑衣上的泥土，心里很轻松似的，过一会说，“我走了;到那边来信!”我望着他走出去。他走了几步，回过头看见我，说，“进去吧，里边没人”等他的背影混入来来往往的人里，再找不着了，我便进来坐下，我的眼泪又来了。

I said, "Dad, you might leave now." But he looked out of the window and said, "I'm going to buy you some tangerines. You just stay here. Don't move around." I caught sight of veral vendors waiting for customers outside the railings beyond a platform. But to reach that platform

would require crossing the railway track and doing some climbing up and down. That would be a strenuous job for father, who was fat. I wanted to do that mylf, but he stopped me, so I could do nothing but let him go. I watched him hobble towards the railway track in his black skullcap, black cloth mandarin jacket and dark bule cotton-padded cloth

long gown. He had little trouble climbing down the railway track, but it was a lot more difficult for him to climb up that platform after crossin.专业资料.

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g the railway track. His hand held onto the upper part of the platform,

his legs huddled up and his corpulent body tipped slightly towards the left, obviously making an enormous exertion. While I was watching him from behind, tears gushed from my eyes. I quickly wiped them away lest he or others should catch me crying. The next moment when I looked out of the window again, father was already on the way back, holding bright red tangerines in both hands. In crossing the railway track, he first put the tangerins on the ground, climbed down slowly and then picked them up again. When he came near the train, I hurried out to help him by the hand. After boarding the train with me, he laid all the tangerines on my overcoat, and patting the dirt off his clothes, he looked somewhat relieved and said after a while, "I must be going now. Don't forget to write me from Beijing!" I gazed after his back retreating out of the carriage. After a few steps, he looked back at me and said, "Go back to your at. Don't leave your things alone." I, however, did not go back to my at until his figure was lost among crowds for people hurrying to and fro and no longer visible. My eyes were again wet with tears.

（张译）

“Don’t wait, father,” I said. He looked out of the window. “I’ll just buy you a few tangerines,” he said. “Wait here, and don’t wander off. Just outside the station were some vendors. To reach them he had to cross the lines, which involved jumping down from the platform and cla.专业资料.

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mbering up again. As my father is a stout man this was naturally not easy for him. But when I volunteered to go instead he would not hear of it. So I watched him in his black cloth cap and jacket and dark blue

cotton-padded gown, as he waddled to the tracks and climbed slowly down --- not so difficult after all. But when he had crosd the lines he had trouble clambering up the other side. He clutched the platform with both hands and tried to heave his legs up, straining to the left. At the sight of his burly back tears started to my eyes, but I wiped them

hastily so that neither he nor anyone el might e them. When next I looked out he was on his way back with some ruddy tangerines. He put the on the platform before climbing slowly down to cross the lines, which he did after picking the fruit up. When he reached my side I

was there to help him up. We boarded the train together and he plumped the tangerines down on my coat. Then he brushed the dust from

his clothes, as if that was a weight off his mind. “I’ll be going now, son,” he said prently. “Write to me once you get there.” I watched him walk away. After a few steps he turned back to look at me. “Go on

in!” he called. “There’s no one in the compartment.” When his back disappeared among the bustling crowd I went in and sat down, and my eyes were wet again.

（杨译）

1. 于是扑扑衣上的泥土，心里很轻松似的 he looked somewhat relieved an.专业资料.

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d said after a while,这里张先生译的 somewhat relieved 有些模糊不清而杨先生译的as if that was a weight off his mind，表现出来父亲心事已了，已经对儿子做了力所能及的事，如释重负了。

2. 等他的背影混入来来往往的人里，再找不着了，我便进来坐下

张译：I, however, did not go back to my at until his figure was lost among crowds for people hurrying to and fro and no longer visible.

杨译：When his back disappeared among the bustling crowd I went

in and sat down,

我认为这句话杨先生译得更好，更简洁，更巧妙，把找不着巧妙地用一个disappear 就表现了出来，并且把来来往往的人群直接译为了bustling crowd，比张译的crowds for people hurrying to and fro ，更地道，使得句子更行合，更紧凑。不过张先生的not until 用的很好，准确的表达出了作者对父亲恋恋不舍的心情。因此我认为可以将杨先生的译文再美化一下即是：I didn’t went

in and sat down until his back disappeared among the bustling crowd.

近几年来，父亲和我都是东奔西走⑩，家中光景是一日不如一日。他少年出外谋生，独力支持，做了许多大事。那知老境却如此颓唐万他触目伤怀，自然情不能自己。情郁于中，自然要发之于外;家庭琐屑便往往触他之怒。他待我渐渐不同往日⑩。但最近两年的不见，他终于忘却我的不好，只是惦记着我，惦记着我的儿子。我北来后，他写了一信给我，信中说道，“我身体平安，惟膀子疼痛利害，举著提笔，诸多不便，大约大去⑩之期不远矣。”我读到此处，在晶莹的泪光中，又看见那肥胖的，青布棉袍，黑布马褂的背影。唉!我不知何时.专业资料.

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再能与他相见!

In recent years, both father and I have been living an unttled life, and the circumstances of our family going from bad to wor. Father left

home to ek a livelihood when young and did achieve quite a few things all on his own. To think that he should now be so downcast in old

age! The discouraging state of affairs filled him with an uncontrollable feeling of deep sorrow, and his pent-up emotion had to find a vent. That is why even mere domestic trivialities would often make him angry,

and meanwhile he became less and less nice with me. However, the paration of the last two years has made him more forgiving towards me. He keeps thinking about me and my son. After I arrived in Beijing, he wrote me a letter, in which he says, ”I’m all right except for a vere pain in my arm. I even have trouble using chopsticks or writing brushes. Perhaps it won’t be long now before I depart this life.” Through the glistening tearswhich the had brought to my eyes I again saw the back of father’s corpulent form in the dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown and the black cloth mandarin jacket. Oh, how I long to e him again.

（张译）

The last few years father and I have been moving from place to place, while things have been going from bad to wor at home. When he left his family as a young man to look for a living, he succeeded in s.专业资料.

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upporting himlf and did extremely well. No one could have foreen

such a come- down in his old age! The thought of this naturally depresd him, and as he had to vent his irritation somehow, he often lost his temper over trifles. That was why his manner towards me had gradually changed. But during the last two years of paration he has forgotten my faults and simply wants to e me and my son. After I came north he wrote to me: “My health is all right, only my arm aches so badly I find it hard to hold the pen. Probably the end is not far away. When I read this, through a mist of tears I saw his blue cotton-padded gown and black jacket once more as his burly figure walked away from me. Shall we ever meet again?

（杨译）

汉译英，常需要将意合句转化为形合句。从意合到形合，似乎简单，增加connective就行了。其实不然。头脑中的形合/意合意识是否成熟，在很大程度上影响译者提供的译文质量。因添加了connective，英译之长度似乎应该增加。比读证明：译文遣词不是增加，而是减少。试比较：

1.老境却如此颓唐！他触目伤怀，自然情不能自已。情郁于中，自然要发之于外；家庭琐屑便往往触他之怒。

张译：To think that he should now be so downcast in old age! The discouraging state of affairs filled him with an uncontrollable feeling of deep sorrow, and his pent-up emotion had to find a vent. That is why even mere domestic trivialities would often make him angry.

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译文拘谨，以意合句为主，且基本按照原文语序。意合转化为形合的意识在译文中得不到足够反映，connective使用不到位。遣词累赘！

杨译：

No one could have foreen such a comedown in his old age! The thought of this naturally depresd him, and as he had to vent his irritation somehow, he often lost his temper over trifles.

两译字数之比为：47：35 前者明显过于累赘且不说两译“触目伤怀”之反差巨大，就说后译中的as，即可品味再三。一个as，看似轻巧，却见功力，as折射了原句的“因果”逻辑关系，令文脉朗现，逻辑彰显。一个as，轻易替代了前译中的That is why…等众多累赘字眼！

2. 我北来后，他写了一信给我，信中说道，“我身体平安，惟膀子疼痛利害，举箸提笔，诸多不便，大约大去之期不远矣。”

张译：

After I arrived in Beijing, he wrote me a letter, in which he said, “ I’m all right except for a vere pain in my arm. I even have trouble using chopsticks or writing bushes. Perhaps it won’t be long now before I depart this life.”

此句使用的connectives“前呼后拥”，如：after/in which/except for/or等。但是，读来仍然摆脱不累赘的感觉，虽然绝对忠实与原文，但比较生硬

杨译：After I came north he wrote to me: “My health is all right, only my arm aches so badly I find it hard to hold the pen. Probably the end is not far away.”两句的字数比是：45：34。让人感到意外的是，杨译所使.专业资料.

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用的connective仅两个：After/so。这又是为什么呢？两译对比，尤其是对so的思考，笔者茅塞顿开。

所谓connective，似可根据其作用，分为两类：一种是结构性的（structural connective），另一种是非结构性的（non-structural connective）。结构性的connective既折射句子内部逻辑关系，又是句子的框架性构件，“支撑”起英语句子，可谓“一箭双雕”。上译中的in which即非结构性connective，不反映逻辑关系，承上启下而已。使用了这样的connective，未必能简化表达，与he wrote me a letter相比，in which he said就显得罗嗦，徒增了行文的字数。结构性的connective，化隐含的逻辑关系为明示的逻辑关系，假如依靠别的文字来描述或传达同样的逻辑关系，自然会多费笔墨。如：

I’m all right except for a vere pain in my arm. I even have trouble using chopsticks or writing bushes.

Only my arm aches so badly I find it hard to hold the pen.

下译中的so，即属于结构性的connective。So虽不起眼，作用却大。So不仅使“惟膀子疼痛利害，举箸提笔，诸多不便”一句中隐含的因果关系“浮出水面”，令读者易懂，而且使句子结构豁然。而张译中的I even have trouble using chopsticks or writing bushes独立成句，逻辑上产生割裂感，“前不着村，后不着店”一般。

汉英翻译，对英语重形合，汉语重意合的规律只有朦胧印象或泛泛了解是远远不够的。光凭语感使用connective，也未必能够达到简化表达的目的。只有对汉语原句作一番逻辑梳理，并亮出结构性的connective，译文才会显出优势。

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3. 我读到此处，在晶莹的泪光中，又看见那肥胖的，青布棉袍，黑布马褂的背影。唉！我不知何时再能与他相见！

从字面上看，上句没有显露逻辑之痕，但是，译者假如不识其面目（隐含“时间”从句的汉语意合句），照字面“老老实实”地去译张译：

Through the glistening tears which the words had brought to my eyes I again saw the back of father’s corpulent form in the dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown and the black cloth mandarin jacket. Oh, how I long to e him again!

“看见那肥胖的，青布棉袍，黑布马褂的背影”应该如何理解？其中隐藏着怎样的逻辑关系？这是一个需要结合上文细加推敲的问题。其“逻辑”背景是：当父亲离我而去的时候，我看见那肥胖的，青布棉袍，黑布马褂的背影。这个“逻辑”背景是全文之“眼”。汉语是成熟的语言，“当父亲离我而去的时候”不必言明，此意已经很自然地溶入字里行间，读者足以意会。但是，在英译时，译者就必须遵从英语表达习惯，应该化隐为显，变无为有。遗憾的是，张译显然没有注意到这一点，而是作了直译：I again saw the back of father…句中的动宾搭配（saw/back），基本沿袭了汉语原句的动宾结构（看见/背影）。

请读杨译：

When I read this, through a mist of tears I saw his blue cotton-padded gown and black jacket once more as his burly figure walked away from me. Shall we ever meet again?

此译抛弃了原句的动宾结构，而是另立新的动宾搭配：saw / his blue cotton-padded gown and black jacket。这样就腾出了使用connective的空间，译.专业资料.

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笔多有创意！果然，紧接着出现了一个as（注：这是典型的结构性connective），非常清晰和有层次感地传递了“背影”出现的时间。as his burly figure walked away from me在原句里寻找不到相对应的字眼，却能在上文里寻找到此译的背景。由as引导的从句，贯通了上下文，并成功点题，把父亲的“背影”给译活了，这比单纯地写I again saw the back of father…更让人喝彩。如果说，译文I again saw the back of father…是死板的、平面的、孤立的，而译文I saw his blue cotton-padded gown and black jacket once more as his burly figure walked away from me则是鲜活的、立体的、贯通上文的。

英语的形合表达，竟有此妙处，这是我们始料不及的。此外，我们不应忘记，一个as省略了多少赘词！从张译的43个单词缩减到33个！

正如以为语言大家说的，翻译最重要的有一点就是要完全吃透原文，拨开原有的语言外壳，忠实重塑译文。还有一定要有很好的汉英功底，才能真正译好文章，尤其是抒情性散文。因此翻译工作者包括我们英语专业的学生不应忽视汉语学习，要多读经典，多读大家散文，多思考，勤练习，多斟酌用词方能做一名合格的译者将中国经典散文翻好，将中国传统优秀文化更好的传播给世界。

参考文献

张培基. “英译中国现代散文选” 上海外语教育出版社

张今. “文学翻译原理” 河南大学出版社

余元玲. “ 张培基先生散文翻译中保存“质朴”风格的技巧——读《英译中国现代散文选》有感” 重庆交通学院学报：社会科学版论文

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Shiyu Wei

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