英语冷笑话

七年级上册英语笑话精选

冷笑话不同于一般的笑话，以其独特的制笑机制，能瞬间制造出

一种特殊氛围。本文是七年级上册英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!

七年级上册英语笑话：Anamazingtalkingdog

proclaims,"I'll

betyouaroundofdrinksthatmydogcantalk."

Bartender:"Yeah!Sure...goahead."

Man:"Whatcoversahou?"

Dog:"Roof!"

Man:"Howdoessandpaperfeel?"

Dog:"Rough!"

Man:"Whowasthegreatestballplayerofalltime?"

Dog:"Ruth!"

Man:"ouhecouldtalk."

Thebartender,annoyedatthispoint,throwsbothofthem

gonthesidewalk,thedoglooksattheguy

andsays,"oristhegreatestplayerMantle?"

七年级上册英语笑话：GoodCalculation

"Iamsorry,madam,butIshallhavetochargeyoutwenty

dollarsforpullingyourboy'stooth.""Twentydollars!Why,I

understoodyoutosaythatyouchargedonlyfourdollarsfor

suchwork!""Yes."repliedthedentist,"butthisyoungsteryelled

soterriblythathescaredfourotherpatientsoutoftheoffice."

如此计算“对不起，夫人，为您的孩子拔牙，我们要收取20美

元。”

“20美元!为什么?不是说只要4美元吗?”

“是的，”牙医回答说：“但是这孩子大喊大叫，把另外4个病

人吓跑了。”

七年级上册英语笑话：PoliceCha

Amanwasdrivinghomelateoneafternoon,andhewas

cesapolicecarwithitsred

ks,"Icanoutrunthis

guy,"sareracingdown

thehighway-60,70,80,y,ashisspeedometer

pass100,theguyfigures"whattheheck,"s

iceofficergetsoutofhiscruirand

sdownandsays"listenmister,I'vehad

areallylousyday,agood

excuandI'llletyougo."

Themanthoughtforamomentandsaid,"Threeweeks

ago,awyourcruir

inmyrearviewmirror,Ithougetyouwerethatofficerandyou

weretryingtogiveherbacktome!"

七年级上册英语笑话：医院

Amarriedcouplewenttothehospitaltogethertohavetheir

eirarrival,thedoctorsaidhehad

inventedanewmachinethatwouldtransferaportionofthe

mother'diftheywerewillingto

rebothverymuchinfavorofit.

Thedoctorttheknobto10percentforstarters,explaining

thateven10percentwasprobablymorepainthanthefatherhad

helaborprogresd,the

husbandfeltfine,soheaskedthedoctortogoaheadandbump

torthenadjustedthemachineto20percent

tor

checkedthehusband'sbloodpressureandpulandwas

,theydecidedtotryfor

50percent.

twas

obviouslyhelpingouthiswifeconsiderably,heencouragedthe

edelivereda

herhusbandwere

eygothome,themailmanwasdeadontheir

porch.

七年级上册英语笑话：洪水

Thereoncewasafloodandeveryonehadreachedsafety

bedtothetopofhishouwiththe

opterflewoverhisheadand

hungdownaropeforhimtoclimb,butthemanwasdeeply

religiousandsaid,"It'sallright!TheLordwillsaveme!"Sothe

ercontinuedtoriandaboat

cametohim,butonceagain,themanshouted,"No!GoAWAY!

theLordwillcomeandsaveme!"andonceagain,theboatsped

erwasgettingdangerouslydeepbynowsothe

helicoptercamebackand,oncue,themanrepeated,"Idon't

needsaving!MyLordwillcome."Reluctantly,thehelicopterleft.

Theraincontinuedtopour,thewatercontinuedtoriandthe

atesofheaven,.

Confud,heasked,"Peter,Ihavelivedthelifeofafaithfulman

-whydidmyLordnotrescueme?"eplied,"Forpitysake!

Hentyoutwohelicoptersandaboat!"