英语趣味故事

英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事

在繁忙的学习工作中，阅读一些幽默笑话是我们放松心情的好方式。既然这样，那么你知道英语幽默小 故事 有哪些吗？下面我为大家带来英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事，希望大家喜欢!

英语幽默小故事1：Midway Tactics

Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Obrvers waited for mayhem to ensue.

The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"

The store on the left raid bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".

幽默故事翻译：中间战术

三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。

右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”

左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”

中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。

英语幽默小故事2：Very Plead to Meet You

During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of cour met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.

One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for veral months.

Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.

Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."

"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.

"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."

"I‘m very plead to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"

幽默故事翻译：

在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。

一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要 出国 ，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。

后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。

琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。”

“这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。

“噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。”

“很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。”

英语幽默小故事3：Two Soldiers

Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the cond one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"

Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.

Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.

Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"

Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.

George said, "Plea put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.

"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.

George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"

幽默故事翻译：

军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?”

比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。

乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。

这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?”

比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。

乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。

“你还要什么?”比尔问。

乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?”

英语幽默小故事4：Five Months Older

The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.

But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprid.

"How old are you?" he said.

"Eighteen, sir," said John.

"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"

"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."

幽默故事翻译：五个月大

第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。

可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。

“你多大了?”军医问。

“十八，长官。”约翰说。

“可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?”

约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。”

英语幽默小故事5：West Point

My father, brother and I visited West Point to e a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly presd uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would po for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."

One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to po for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he misd by not coming to West Point."

幽默故事翻译：

父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的 橄榄球 赛。开始之前，我们到处转了转，碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。“好让我们的儿子知道，如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。”

一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员，问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说：“我们想让儿子知道他没来西点军校错过了什么。”

英语幽默小故事6：Prent for Girlfriend

At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a prent for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked.

The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it ‘To my one and only love‘. That way, if we ever break up, I can u it again."

幽默故事翻译：送给女友的礼物

在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。

那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：“不--在上面刻‘给我唯一的爱’。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。”

英语幽默小故事7：Be Careful What You Wish For

A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.

During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that becau they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.

The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paud for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."

The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.

幽默故事翻译：慎重许愿

一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。

庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。

妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。

接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。”

仙女拾起了 魔术 棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。

英语幽默小故事8：Wood Fire

One woman lectured her best friend on the nature of the male animal. "Husbands are like wood fires; they go out if left unattened."

"Does that mean," asked the other, "that they make ashes of themlves?"

幽默故事翻译：森林之火

一名妇女向她最好的朋友大谈雄性动物的特性：“丈夫们就像是森林里的火，一不注意，他们就会燃烧起来。”

“那是不是意味着，”另一个问道，“他们将自己烧成灰烬?”

英语幽默小故事9：Best Reward

A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.

"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I‘d pulled you out, they‘d chuck me in."

幽默故事翻译：最好的奖赏

一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。

“最好的办法，长官，”这名水手说，“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。”

英语幽默小故事10：Napoleon Was ill

Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to e the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.

"He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well."

"No, no, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!"

"Plea, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You e, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our hou, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."

幽默故事翻译：拿破仑病了

杰克到一所大学去学历史。第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。

“他是个好孩子，”杰克的父亲说：“您要是让他这次及格，我相信他明年会有很大进步，学期结束时，他一定会考好的。”

“不，不，那不可能，”教授马上回答。“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的，他都不知道。”

“先生，请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说：“你不知道，恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”

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英语幽默小故事5篇

英语 故事 会出现学生认识或是不认识的单词，而这个单词的重复不断出现，会加深同学们对单词的记忆。这种记忆不是死记硬背，而是在潜移默化中，让学生记住。这次我给大家整理了英语幽默小故事，供大家阅读参考。

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英语幽默小故事1

Don't Pick Up the Money on the Ground

An economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they e a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.

Why not?

If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

别捡地上的钱

一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走，这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。学生走过去准备捡，教授制止了他，告诉他别自寻烦恼。

“为什么不捡?”

“假如那是一张真20美元钞票的话，早就有人捡走了。”

“该发明的都已经被发明出来了。”

英语幽默小故事2

The Less You Know, the More Money You Make

Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.

Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.

Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we have

Knowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.

Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.

知识越少挣钱越多

定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。

下面是对该定理的一个严格的数学证明：

假设一：知识就是力量(Power)。

假设二：时间就是金钱。

每个工程师都知道：功率(Power)= 。既然知识=力量，时间=金钱，我们有：知识= 。求解金钱表达式，我们得到：金钱= 。

因此，当知识趋于零时，无论你做了多少功，金钱趋于无穷大。

结论：知识越少，你挣得的金钱就越多。

英语幽默小故事3

They Should Be Playing at Night

A therapist, a priest and an economist go golfing. The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to some frustration among the three. Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over to them. He introduces himlf as an aide becau the group of golfers he is with is blind! The aide thanks the three in appreciation for their patience for the blind golfers. The priest goes, "Oh no, all my life I've preached for all to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about the blind!" The therapist says, "I've been trained my whole life to help others and here I am complaining about the blind, shame on me!" The economist says, "Oh no! They should be playing at night."

他们本该在晚上打球

神父、心理学家和经济学家三人结伴打高尔夫。前面的一组打球进度极其缓慢，这让三人大为恼火。他们开始抱怨，前面那组中的一人听到抱怨声后朝他们走了过来。他 自我介绍 说是前面那组球手们的助手，因为那组球手都是盲人。助手感谢他们三位耐心等待。神父听后忙说：“哦，不会吧?我一辈子都在祈祷同胞们过上更美好的生活，而我却在这里抱怨这些盲人!”心理学家也赶紧说：“我一生的信条是帮助别人，可是我却在这里抱怨这些盲人，我真惭愧!”这时只听经济学家说：“哦，别这样!他们本该在晚上打球的。”

英语幽默小故事4

A fellow pilot flying over the Midwest heard an air-traffic controller trying to contact an airliner for normal frequency change.“Flight 354，“said the controller，"contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.“The request was repeated veral times with no reply from the pilot.Finally，in exasperation the controller raid his voice."Flight 354，Simon says contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.”The call was acknowledged with an emharrasd reply and prompt compliance.

一名飞行员在中西部上空听到地面指挥塔的指挥员在呼叫一民航调整其正常接收频率。"354航班，”指挥塔在呼叫，“请与堪萨斯市中心135.5频率联系。”这一指令重复了几次之后，竟没得到任何回音。最后，指挥塔的指挥员显然是被激怒了，他大声地锐:"354航班，西蒙说速与135. 5预率联系。”这一声显然奏效，只听对方慌忙地做了回答并迅速服从了指挥。”

英语幽默小故事5

Even My Driver Can Answer that Question

A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was t to give a ries of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For the task, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing el to do, the driver would sit in on the highly technical lectures. After veral lectures, the driver commented to the economist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I could deliver it mylf." The economist found this idea intriguing and decided to switch places with him at his next lecture.

The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some one in the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had no idea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, and then replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."

甚至我的司机都能回答那个问题

一位著名的博弈论专家一获得克拉克奖便开始在东北部各个知名大学展开一系列讲座。为了完成这项任务，他租了一辆车并雇了一名司机载着他到处赶场。没有别的事可做的司机就坐在课堂里听专家那科技含量颇高的讲座。几场讲座下来，司机对这位经济学家说：“我听了这么多次你的讲座，我觉得我自己也能讲了。”经济学家觉得这个想法很有趣，于是决定下次作讲座时他们两个互换位置。

司机完美无瑕地完成了演讲。可是当讲座结束后，听众中有人问了他一个技术含量相当高的问题，他不知如何开口回答。司机沉思了一会，回答道：“这个问题太简单了，连我的司机都能回答。”

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简单的英语小故事 简短的英语趣味小故事

1、简单英语小故事——老人和老猫

An old man has a cat. The cat is very old, too. He runs very quickly. And his teeth are bad. One evening, the old cat es a little mou. He catches it, but he can’t eat it becau his teeth are not strong enough. The mou runs away.

The old man is very angry. He beats his cat. He says: “You are a fool cat. I will punish you!” the cat is very sad. He thinks：“When I was young, I worked hard for you. Now you don’t like me becau I’m too old to work. You should know you are old, too.”

一个年迈的老人养一只猫。这只猫也非常老了。她跑得很快，但是牙齿很糟糕。一天王还是那个，这只老猫看见一只小老鼠。它抓住了小老鼠，但是它却吃不了它，因为它的牙齿不够锋利了。这只小老鼠逃跑了。

老人很生气，他打了小猫，并且对它说：“你这只蠢猫！我要惩罚你！”猫非常伤心，它想：“在我还年轻的时候，我为你努力工作。现在你却因为我太老了不能工作而不喜欢我。你应该知道你也老了。”

2、英语小故事——驴子与蚱蜢

AN ASS having heard some Grasshoppers chirping, was highly enchanted; and, desiring to posss the same charms of melody, demanded what sort of food they lived on to give them such beautiful voices. They replied, The dew. The Ass resolved that he would live only upon dew, and in a short time died of hunger.

驴子听见蚱蜢唱歌，被美妙动听的歌声所打动，自己也想能发出同样悦耳动听的声音，便 羡慕地问他们吃些什么，才能发出如此美妙的声音来。蚱蜢答道：“吃露水。”驴子便也只吃露水，没多久就饿死了。这个故事告诉人们不要企望非份之物。

3、英语小故事——三个好朋友

One day, a monkey rides his bike near the river. This time he es a lion under a tree. The lion runs at him. He is afraid and falls into the river. He can’t swim. He shouts. The rabbit hears him. He jumps into the river. The rabbit swims to the monkey, but he can’t help him. Luckily, an elephant comes along. He is very strong. He helps the rabbit and monkey. Three friends are very happy. They go to the elephant’s home. Then, three of them become good friends.

一天， 一只猴子在河边骑车。这时他看见树下有一只狮子，狮子向他跑来。他非常的害怕，掉进河里。他不会游泳，大叫起来。兔子听见了，跳进水里，但他却没有办法救猴子。幸运的是，一只大象过来了。大象非常强壮，救出了兔子和猴子。他们来到大象的家，在那里吃了一顿大餐。从此他们成了好朋友。

有趣的英语小故事

有趣的英语小故事

　　一枚硬币会经历什么?下面是我整理的有趣的英语故事，欢迎大家阅读!

　　一枚硬币的'旅程

　　One day, Dora’s mother gave her a coin, It was a bit dirty, so Dora washed it. Then it started talking to Dora.

　　Today I talked to a coin, When it was made, it was nice and clean. People took the coin to a bank. It stayed there for a few days. A person at the bank gave the bank gave the coin to a man. My mother went to buy some cake from the man’s shop. The man gave the coin to her as part of her change. She dropped the coin. A street cleaner saw it and picked it up. He returned it to my mother. She gave it to me as pocket money. I washed the coin to make it clean again.

　　一天，多拉的母亲给了她一枚硬币。它有点儿脏，所以多拉把它洗了洗。听听这个硬币的英语故事。

　　今天我和一枚硬币谈话了，当它被铸造的时候，它很好看而且干净.人们把钱存到银行。它在那儿待几天.银行的人把这枚硬币给了一名男子。我的母亲从这名男子的商店里买一些蛋糕。这名男子将这枚硬币作为零钱的一部分找给她。她掉了这枚硬币。一位街道清洁工看到了并把它捡起来。他把她还给了我母亲。母亲把它当零花钱给我了，我洗了这枚硬币，让它再次变干净。

　　The Two Soldiers And The Robber

　　两个士兵和强盗

　　Two Soldiers travelling together were t upon by a Robber. One of them ran away, but the other stood his ground, and laid about him so lustily with his sword that the Robber was fain to fly and leave him in peace. When the coast was clear the timid one ran back, and, flourishing his weapon, cried in a threatening voice, “Where is he? Let me get at him, and I’ll soon let him know whom he’s got to deal with.” But the other replied, “You are a little late, xiaogushi8.com my friend: I only wish you had backed me up just now, even if you had done no more than speak, for I should have been encouraged, believing your words to be true. As it is, calm yourlf, and put up your sword: there is no further u for it. You may delude others into thinking you’re as brave as a lion: but I know that, at the first sign of danger, you run away like a hare.”

　　两个士兵一起赶路，途中被一个强盗所劫。其中一个士兵马上逃跑了，另一个则勇敢地握着剑立在原地，强盗不得不其他而逃。这时候，那个胆小的士兵跑过来，抽出剑，壮着胆子大喝一声：“他去哪里了?让我来对付他，我要让他知道面对的是什么人。”然而，那名勇敢的士兵说：“你来晚了，我的朋友。要是你刚才能帮我就好了，即便只是嘴上这样说也好，因为我会受到你这番话的鼓舞，并且相信这些话都说真的。而现在，还是请你把剑收好，已经没有必要再用它了。你只能欺骗其他人，让人们以为你像雄狮一样勇敢;而我却知道，在遇到危险时，你会像兔子一样落荒而逃。”

　　The Flu

　　Larry has the flu. His no is running. He coughs a lot. He sneezes a lot. When he coughs, he covers his mouth. When he sneezes, he covers his mouth. When his no is running, he wipes his no with a tissue. Larry's mother is taking care of him. She makes hot soup for him. She gives him fresh orange juice. She makes him comfortable in his bed. She turns on the TV so he can watch TV in his bed. She turns out the light so he can sleep in his bed. She gives him medicine so he will get better. Larry will get better soon.

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关于有趣的英语故事短文大全

　　 英语 故事 阅读对丰富小学生的语言知识和提高语言素养有着积极的意义,同时也是非常适合小学生的一种学习 渠道 。我分享关于有趣的英语故事短文，希望可以帮助大家!

　　关于有趣的英语故事短文：The Beam
　　There was once an enchanter(巫师，魔法师) who was standing in the midst of a great crowd of people performing his wonders. He had a cock brought in, which lifted a heavy beam and carried it as if it were as light as a feather. But a girl was prent who had just found a bit of four-leaved clover, and had thus become so wi that no deception could stand out against her, and she saw that the beam was nothing but a straw. So she cried, "You people, do you not e that it is a straw that the cock is carrying, and no beam?" Immediately the enchantmentvanished, and the people saw what it was, and drove the magician away in shame and disgrace. He, however, full of inward(内部的) anger, said, "I will soon revenge mylf?"

　　After some time the girl's wedding-day came, and she was decked out, and went in a great procession over the fields to the place where the church was. All at once she came to a stream which was very much swollen, and there was no bridge and no plank to cross it. Then the bride nimbly took her clothes up, and wanted to wade through it. And just as she was thus standing in the water, a man, and it was the enchanter, cried mockingly clo beside her, "Aha! Where are thine eyes that thou takest that for water?" Then her eyes were opened, and she saw that she was standing with her clothes lifted up in the middle of a field that was blue with the flowers of blue flax(亚麻). Then all the people saw it likewi, and chad her away withridicule and laughter.
　　关于有趣的英语故事短文：Sweet Porridge
　　There was a poor but good little girl who lived alone with her mother, and they no longer had anything to eat. So the child went into the forest, and there an aged woman met her who was aware of her sorrow, and prented her with a little pot, which when she said, "Cook, little pot, cook," would cook good, sweet porridge, and when she said, "Stop, little pot," it ceadto cook.

　　The girl took the pot home to her mother, and now they were freed from their poverty and hunger, and ate sweet porridge as often as they cho. Once on a time when the girl had gone out, her mother said, "Cook, little pot, cook." And it did cook and she ate till she was satisfied, and then she wanted the pot to stop cooking, but did not know the word.

　　So it went on cooking and the porridge ro over the edge, and still it cooked on until the kitchen and whole hou were full, and then the next hou, and then the whole street, just as if it wanted to satisfy the hunger of the whole world, and there was the greatest distress, but no one knew how to stop it. At last when only one single hou remained, the child came home and just said, "Stop, little pot," and it stopped and gave up cooking, and whosoever wished to return to the town had to eat his way back.
　　关于有趣的英语故事短文：The lamb chad by a wolf
　　A Wolf was chasing a Lamb, which took refuge in a temple. The Wolf urged it to come out of the precincts, and said, "If you don't, the priest is sure to catch you and offer you up in sacrifice on the altar." To which the Lamb replied, "Thanks, I think I'll stay where I am: I'd rather be sacrificed any day than be eaten up by a wolf."
　　关于有趣的英语故事短文：Dudley goes to Dinosaur Park
　　One day, Sammy went for a walk in the mountains. He found a stone. It looked like a big egg. He took it home and put it by the window.

　　One morning, Sammy heard a noi. The stone broke open. It was really an egg! A small animal climbed out and looked ta Sammy. It was a dinosaur. Sammy called it Dudley.

　　Dudley was always hungry. He ate and ate and grew and grew. Soon he was bigger than Sammy.

　　A man from Dinosaur Park read about Sammy and Dudley in the newspaper. He phoned Sammy and said, "Hello, Sammy. This is Mr Lee from Dinosaur Park come with Dudley and meet the children here. I'll give you 10000 dollars." Sammy said, "OK".

　　A week later, Sammy got the money.

15则经典英语幽默故事

　　下面是我整理的15则经典英语幽默 故事 ，欢迎大家阅读!

　 　英语幽默故事1.

　　A: Madam, do you have something in common with your husband?

　　B: Oh, we have only one point in common—we got married on the same day, in the same month and in the same year.

　　 英语幽默故事2.

　　After spending all day watching football, Harry fell asleep in front of the TV and spent the night in the chair. In the morning, his wife woke him up. “ Get up, dear,” she said, “ It’s 20 to ven.”

　　He awoke with a start. “ In who favor?”

　　 英语幽默故事3.

　　The mirly millionaire called a family conference, “ I’m placing a box of money in the attic,” he said.” When I die, I intend to grab it on my way up to heaven. See to it that no one touches it until it’s my time too go.”

　　The family respected his wishes. After his death, the millionaire’s wife looked in the attic. The box was still there. “ THE FOOL!” she said. ”I told him he should have put it in the bament.”

　　 英语幽默故事4.

　　On the way home from my university, I was going to drop off a friend at her home, when I realized I was lost. I asked her for directions. She said she was not sure of the route. Hoping to jog her memory, I asked, “ what route does your father take when drives you to school?” She didn’t know. I thought it might simplify things if I rephrad the question.” When you go home, which way does he go?”

　　“ Oh, that’s easy,” she replied. “ He goes back the same way he came.”

　　 英语幽默故事5.

　　During my cond year at university I was having trouble deciding on my major. In a agonizing discussion with my advir, I decided to double major in astrophysics and theater. Getting up to leave, I said, “ Thanks for your help. But what am I going to do once I graduate?”

　　My advir shrugged,“ You could be a star,” he said.

　　 英语幽默故事6.

　　The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for rving an apple pie without any chee. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of chee which he laid on the guest’s plate.

　　The visitor smiled, put the chee into his mouth and then said, “ You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the chee?”

　　“ In the rat trap, sir,” replied the boy.

　　 英语幽默故事7.

　　One professor solemnly addresd the class the day after a big assignment had been due. “ Many of you know me,” he intoned. “And many of you have met my dog, Gus. Obviously, one of you has not.”

　　“ I apologize to whoever slipped a term paper under my office door,” he continued. “ My dog ate your homework.”

　　 英语幽默故事8.

　　Just before graduation from university, my son and veral friends were discussing the role their families had played in their career plans. My son, who had been accepted by a college of optometry, had been quiet during most of the talk.

　　“ How about you, Dale?” one of his buddies asked. “ Was you pushy?

　　“ No, he replied. “ I had complete freedom of choice. I could be any kind of doctor I wanted to be.”

　　 英语幽默故事9.

　　During my first year at Naval Postgraduate School, I sat chatting one day with some classmates about the program’s difficulties. A professor overheard us and tried to allay our fears. “Don’t worry too much about grades,” he explained. “ When you think you know everything, they give you a Bachelor’s degree. Then when you realize that you don’t know anything, they give you a Master’s, and when you find out that you don’t know anything, but neither does anyone el” he continued,” they give you a doctorate.”

　　 英语幽默故事10.

　　Recently engaged, I asked my aunt, who has been married to Uncle Bob for 34 years, what she thought was the key to the success of their long union. She said, “ Try not to argue, and we respect each other’s privacy.”

　　At this point Uncle Bob interrupted. “ She works days and I work nights,” he said.

　　 英语幽默故事11.

　　About two weeks before our fifth anniversary of marriage, my husband asked what I would like for a gift. I told him I wanted something impractical and romantic.

　　On our anniversary night, he prented me with a lovely gold bracelet. “ A little four-letter word made me get this for you,” he said softly.

　　“Oh, how sweet,” I whispered. “L-O-V-E?’

　　“No,’ he replied. “S-A-l-E.”

　　 英语幽默故事12.

　　A: Oh, how nice your bookshelf is! But it’s a pity that it is empty without any books in it.

　　B: I had no bookshelf in the past. In order to buy the bookshelf, I have sold all my books. Don’t you know?

　　 英语幽默故事13.

　　M: Do you love your bride?

　　Bridegroom: Yes, of cour. I love her very much.

　　M: Are you willing to accompany with your husband forever?

　　Bride (with head shaking repeatedly): Of cour not. He is a postman, how can I accompany with him all the whole day?

　　 英语幽默故事14.

　　“Joe is the man for me,” said a starry-eyed young lady to her mother, “ He’s nice. He’s handsome. He’s smart. He’s hardworking. He’s strong. He’s kind…..”

　　“He’s married” interrupted her mother.

　　“ So nobody is perfect.”

　　 英语幽默故事15.

　　A tobacco-company executive traveled the country looking for long-time smoker in good health. He found one man who admitted to smoking for 70 years. “ If you do a commercial for us,” the executive explained. “ We’ll pay you $10,000.”

　　“It’s a deal,” said the smoker. “When do I start?”

　　“How about 10 A.M. Tomorrow?”

　　“Can’t do it then, son—I never quit coughing till noon.”