110 The One With the Monkey猴子
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Ross: Guys? There's a somebody I'd like you to meet.
各位我想介绍一个人给大家认识
(A monkey jumps on to his shoulder.)
All: Oooh!
Monica: W-wait. What is that? 等等…这是怎么回事?
Ross: 'That' would be Marcel. You wanna say hi?
他叫马修，想和他打声招呼?
Monica: No, no, I don't. 不，我不要
Rachel: Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him?
他好可爱，哪里得到他的?
Ross: My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab.
我朋友贝瑟把它从实验室救出来的
Phoebe: That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel?
真残忍，为何有父母会将孩子取名为圣地(贝瑟)?
Chandler: Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on its ass!
那猴子的屁股上长了个罗斯
Monica: Ross, is he gonna live with you, like, in your apartment?
罗斯，它要和你同住吗?
Ross: Yeah. I mean, it's been kinda quiet since Carol left, so...
对，卡萝离开後家里冷清清的
Monica: Why don't you just get a roommate?
为何不找个室友?
Ross: Nah, I think you reach a certain age, having a roommate is kinda pathe- (Realis) ....sorry, that's, that's 'pathet', which is Sanskrit for 'really cool way to live'.
人到一定的年纪后与室友同住是有点可悲(pathet)…抱歉，是pathet，在梵语中代表很酷的生活方式
Opening Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is getting ready to sing. Joey is not there.]
Phoebe: So you guys, I'm doing all new material tonight. I have twelve new songs about my mother's suicide, and one about a snowman.
各位，我今天将唱全新的曲目，我写了12首关于我妈自杀的歌，及一首有关雪人的歌
Chandler: Might wanna open with the snowman.
你最好先唱雪人
(Enter Joey)
All: Hey, Joey. Hey, buddy.
Monica: So, how'd it go? 如何?
Joey: Ahhhhhh, I didn't get the job. -我没得到那份工作
Ross: How could you not get it? You were Santa last year.
你怎可能会没得到?你是去年的圣诞老人
Joey: I dunno. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. He's not even jolly, it's all political.
不知道哪个胖子和店经理有一腿，他根本无法逗人开心，这就是政治
Monica: So what are you gonna be? 那么你扮演什么?
Joey: Ah, I'm gonna be one of his helpers. It's just such a slap in the face, y'know?
当他的助手，就像是脸上的一个巴掌，你明白的?(真是耻辱)
Rachel: Hey, do you guys know what you're doing for New Year's? (They all protest and hit her with cushions) G梦见河流
ee, what?! What is wrong with New Year's?
你们打算如何过新年? 什么?新年有什么不对劲吗?
Chandler: Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!! Man, I'm talking loud!
你有保罗.无须面对新年带来的压力，
无须急着寻找有嘴唇的生物，便于在球落下那一刻有个亲嘴的对象，哦，我说得太大声了!
Rachel: Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you.
保罗新年时会在罗马，所以我将和各位一样可悲
Phoebe: Yeah, you wish! 想得美
Chandler: It's just that I'm sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday. I say this year, no dates, we make a pact. Just the six of us- dinner.
我有个主意，聚餐，不错，我们可以把它放在午饭和早饭之间，我不想再听到迪克拉克的疲劳轰炸，我说今年，我们约定.只有我们6个共进晚餐
All: Yeah, okay. Alright.
Chandler: Y'know, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm.
我希望大家能更开心点
All: Woooo! Yeah!
Rachel: Phoebe, you're on. 菲比，该上台了
Phoebe: Oh, oh, good.
Rachel: (Into microphone) Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand, Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooh!
各位，回应大家要求，菲比布费小姐
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)
首先的这首歌在这种时节令我感慨万分
I made a man with eyes of coal
And a smile so bewitchin',
How was I suppod to know
That my mom was dead in the kitchen?
(shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala
我做了一个人，眼睛是煤炭做的，他有谜样的微笑，我如何能承受，母亲死在厨房的事实，
(Cut to later. Everyone is totally depresd by now.)
Phoebe: (Sung)
...My mother's ashes
Even her eyelashes
Are敲鼓节奏的鼓点
resting in a little yellow jar,
And sometimes when it'
母亲的骨灰，甚至是她的睫毛，都安放在一个黄色的小骨灰坛，当有时天寒地冻，
(Over the sound of Phoebe singing we hear two scientists, Max and David, having a noisy discussion)
Phoebe: (Sung)
...I feel a little sneezy
And now I- (abruptly stops)
Excu me, excu me! Yeah, noisy boys! (They stop talking and look up) Is it something that you would like to share with the entire group?
我感觉有点想打啧涕，如今我…抱歉，吵闹的男人，有什么想和大家分享的吗?
Max: No. No, that's- that's okay. 没.没，没事
Phoebe: Well, c'mon, if it's important enough to 苹果手机突然黑屏开不了机怎么办
discuss while I'm playing, then I assume it's important enough for everyone el to hear!
如果有事如此重要 你们非在我唱歌时谈论，那就重要的足以与我们分享
Chandler: (Quietly, to the others) That guy's going home with a note!
那家伙铁定会带着一本注意事项回家去
David: Noth- I was- I was just saying to my-我是告诉我朋友…
Phoebe: Could you speak up plea? 大声点行吗?
David: (Stands up and speaks more loudly) Sorry, I wa- I was just saying to my friend that I thought you were the most beautiful woman that I'd ever en in my- in my life. And then he said that- you sa
id you thought
抱歉，我，我告诉我朋友：你是我见过最漂亮的女孩
Max: Daryl Hannah. 他说黛瑞汉娜…
David: Daryl Hannah was the most beautiful woman that he'd ever en in his life and I said yeah, I liked her in Splash, a lot, but not so much in- in Wall Street, I thought she had kind of a
黛瑞汉娜是他见过最美的女人，我说我喜欢“美人鱼”中的她，但“华尔街”就没那么喜欢了，她没那种硬派气质，
Max: Hard quality.
David: -hard quality. And uh, while Daryl Hannah is beautiful in a conventional way, you are lumino计中计
us with a kind of a delicate grace. Then, uh, that-that-that's when you started yelling. (Sits down)
黛瑞汉娜是传统的美，而你散发出高雅的气质，然后你就叫我们了
Phoebe: Okay, we're gonna take a short break. (Goes over to their table)
休息片刻
Joey: Hey, that guy's going home with more than a note!
那小伙得到得远不止注意事项了啊(抱得美人归)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is decorating for Christmas.]
Ross: Come here, Marcel. Sit here. (Marcel wanders off)
过来，马修，坐这儿
Rachel: Pheebs, I can't believe he hasn't kisd you yet. I mean God, by my sixth date with Paolo, I mean he had already named both my breasts! ...Ooh. Did I just share too much?
拜托，没想到他还没亲你，我第6次和保罗约会时，他就为我的双峰取了名字，我分享太多了吗?
Ross: Just a smidge. 一点点
Phoebe: David's like, y'know, Scientist Guy. He's very methodical.
大卫是个科学家，做事一丝不苟
Monica: I think it's romantic. 我认为这很浪漫
Phoebe: Me too! Oh! Did you ever e An Officer and a Gentleman?
我也这么想! 你们看过军官与绅士吗?
Rachel: Yeah!
Phoebe: Well, he's kinda like the guy I went to e that with. Except, except he-he's smarter, and gentler, I just- I just wanna be with him all the time. Day and night, and night and
他就是我心目中的白马王子，除了他更聪明，温柔体贴，我只想整天和他厮守在一起，不管是白天或夜晚，还是夜晚或白天，还有特别的日子
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, I e where this is going, you're gonna ask him to New Year's, aren't you. You're gonna break the pact. She's gonna break the pact.
等等，我知道了，你邀他共渡新年，对不? 她想抛弃我们
Phoebe: No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, could I just?
不…对，我可以…
Chandler: Yeah, 'cau I already asked Janice.
好吧，因为我已约了珍妮丝
Monica: What?! 什么?
Ross: C'mon, this was a p酸菜炒肉的做法
act! This was your pact!
这是一个约定!这是你们的约定!
Chandler: I snapped, okay? I couldn't handle the pressure and I snapped.
我耐不住寂寞，我毁约了
Monica: Yeah, but Janice? That-that was like the worst breakup in history!
可是珍妮丝…你们的分手不是糟透了?
Chandler: I'm not saying it was a
good idea, I'm saying I snapped!
我没说这是个好主意，我毁约了
[Joey enters, his shoes have bells on, which jingle as he walks. He is wearing a long coat.]
Joey: Hi. Hi, sorry I'm late. 抱歉，我迟到了
(He removes the coat to reveal an elf costume)
Chandler: Too must mock Joey!
滑稽了，快取笑乔伊
Joey: Nice shoes, huh? (He wiggles his foot and the bells tinkle)
鞋子正点吧
Chandler: Aah, y'killing me!
(Marcel knocks over some kitchen tools)
Monica: Ross! He's playing with my spatulas again!
罗斯，它又玩我的铲子
Ross: Okay, look, he's not gonna hurt them, right?
它又不会玩坏的
Monica: Do you always have to bring him here?
你非得每次都带它来不可吗?
Ross: I didn't wanna leave him alone. Alright? We- we had our first fight this morning. I think it has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean, and he- he threw
我不想留下他一个人?我们早上才吵了一架，一定是我加班惹的祸 我说了不该说的话，它就朝我扔一坨屎
Chandler: Y'know, if you're gonna work late, I could look in on him for you.
如果你必须加班，我可以替你照顾它
Ross: Oh, that'd be great! Okay, but if you do, make sure it ems like you're there to e him, okay,
and you're not like doing it as a favour to me.
这太好了，如果你去照顾它, 要装成一付去找它的样子，不能让它知道你是在帮我忙
Chandler: Okay, but if he asks, I'm not going to lie.
好，但它如果问起 我可就要直话直说了
[Scene: Max and David's lab, David is explaining something to Phoebe with the aid of a whiteboard.]
David: ...But, you can't actually test this theory, becau today's particle accelerators are nowhere near powerful enough to simulate the c《钢铁是怎样炼成的》读后感
onditions.
但我们仍无法测试这个理论，因为今日粒子加速的速度，仍无法模拟出这样的情况
Phoebe: Okay, alright, I have a question, then.
好，我有个问题
David: Yuh.
Phoebe: Um, were you planning on kissing me ever?
你打算亲我吗?
David: Uh, that's definitely a, uh, valid question. And, uh, the answer would be (Writes YES on the board) yes. Yes I was. But, e, I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss that happened at this phenomenal moment, becau, well, 'cau it's you.
这是个正当而合理的问题 答案是…答案是…是的.对，我曾想过但我要让这非凡的吻…发生在非凡的时刻，因为是你
Phoebe: Sure.舒展的意思
当然
David: Right. But, e, the longer I waited, the more phenomenal the kiss had to be, and now we've reached a place where it's just gotta be one of tho things where I sweep everything off the table and throw you down on it. And, uh, I'm not really a, uh, sweeping sorta fella.
但等得越久亲吻就越非凡，而在此时此地，我想…扫去桌上的一切，将你丢在上面，但我不是会扫去一切，那种猴急的男人
Phoebe: Oh, David, I, I think
you are a sweeping sorta fella. I mean, you're a sweeper! ...trapped inside a physicist's body.
大卫，我想你是，你是被困在物理学家体内的猛男
David: Rrrreally. 真的?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, oh, I'm sure of it. You should just do it, just sweep and throw me.
没错，我确定，你应该解放出来，把我丢上去吧
David: ...Now? Now? 现在?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, right now. 对，现在
David: Okay, okay, okay. (Gets ready to sweep, and then picks up a laptop computer) Y'know what, this was just really expensive. (Puts it down elwhere. Then picks up a 社团组织
microscope) And I'll take- this was a gift. (Moves it)
好.好.好，这东西很贵的，这个是人家送的
Phoebe: Okay, now you're just kinda tidying.
你在清理场地?
David: Okay, what the hell, what the hell. (Sweeps the remaining papers off the desk and grabs Phoebe) You want me to actually throw you or you-you wanna just hop?
好吧，管他的，你想让我丢上去还是自己跳上去?
Phoebe: I can hop. (She hops onto the table) 我自己跳好了
(They kiss, finally)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
Ross: So tell me something. What does the phra 'no date pact' mean to you?
告诉我,“没有约会的约定”对你们有何意义?
Monica: I'm sorry, okay. It's just that Chandler has somebody, and Phoebe has somebody- I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby.
钱德有对象，菲比也有对象，所以我约了搞笑巴比
Chandler: Fun Bobby? Your ex-boyfriend Fun Bobby?
搞笑巴比?你的前任男友搞笑巴比?
Monica: Yeah.
Joey: You know more than one Fun Bobby?
你还认识其他的搞笑巴比?
Chandler: I happen to know a Fun Bob.
我认识搞笑巴伯
Rachel: (Brings Joey a mug of coffee) Okay, here
Joey: Ooh ooh ooh ooh, there's no room for milk!
太满了，我没法加牛奶了
Rache最近老放屁是什么原因
l: (Glances at Joey and then sips his coffee) There. Now there is.
好了，这下可以了
Ross: Okay, so on our no-date evening, three of you now have dates.
所以在这个没有约会的晚上，三人另有节目
Joey: Uh, four. 四人
Ross: Four.
Rachel: Five. 五人
Ross: Five. (Buries his head in his hands)
Rachel: Sorry. Paolo's catching an earlier flight.
抱歉，保罗提早搭飞机回来
Joey: Yeah, and I met this really hot single mom at the store. What's an elf to do?
而我在商场遇上—个火辣辣的单亲妈妈，我这个小精灵怎能抗拒?
Ross: Okay, so I'm gonna be the only one standing there alone when the ball drops?
这么说球落下那一刻，我是唯一一个孤零零的家伙?
Rachel: Oh, c'mon. We'll have, we'll have a big party, and no-one'll know who's with who.
我们将举行盛大的派对，而且没人知道到底知道谁和谁
Ross: Hey, y'know, this is so not what I needed right now.
我知道，而且这不是我现在需要知道的
Monica: What's the matter? 你怎么了?
Ross: Oh, it's-it's Marcel. He keeps shuword信纸
tting me out, y'know? He's walking around all the time dragging his
