校园凌欺（Schoolbullying）-不得不说的公开秘密
从不久前北京某⼩学校园凌欺事件酝酿发⽣，就有写点什么冲动， 但思绪⼀直混乱，迟迟未能动笔。
校园凌欺 这个词英⽂是School Bullying, 或者更确切点说，是persistent school bullying, 持续性的校园凌欺。
lacros与校园凌欺的第⼀次亲密接触####
随着孩⼦的长⼤， 凌欺是每个家长都会⾯临的问题， 在我看来⽆⼀例外。 我在⼩学记忆时最深刻的⼀次被“欺负”就发⽣在⼀年级结业时。更多时候我看到的是男孩⼦们之间的各种升级版打闹，甚⾄被校外⼈员抢劫。懵懂中从不知道这些事件的名字叫做凌欺。
于是真正意义上的第⼀次与凌欺的亲密接触必须要提到备战雅思时的⼀篇阅读理解--<Persistent Bullying> . 这是三⼗⼏年来第⼀次对校园凌欺有了完整认识 （于是到现在都很感激某些雅思⽂章和雅思考试）。 原⽂和翻译附在⽂章末尾，供各位家长参考。
幼⼉园的故事####
记得我家哥哥第⼀次在华德福⼩屋开始幼⼉园⽣活时， 遇到的第⼀个挑战就是他去侵犯别⼈。 两岁多，
正是孩⼦对⼈和物品的探索期， 他会不断的去抱同学，其他同学都会笑笑，或置之不理， 或强烈反抗， 只有⼀个 ⼥孩⼦每次被抱都会⼤哭， 于是哥哥就开始了长达⼏天的不断拥抱的探索， 甚⾄在动作时把对⽅脸抓伤。
当时⼩屋⽼师的解决办法是： 编了⼀个童话故事的两个版本： ⼀个关于如何说出你的拒绝；⼀个关于如何接受别⼈的拒绝，并且不再侵犯对⽅⾝体。分别交给两个家庭， 家长和孩⼦扮演其中⾓⾊， 在家演练⼀周；学校⾥，⽼师带领哥哥多去探索物体。
那⼀次的过度⾮常平稳， 让我⾄今感激不尽。
短暂的中国⼩学⽣活####
哥哥进⼊传统⼩学之前， 常常从朋友那⾥得知他们的孩⼦在不同环境与⼈相处发⽣冲突的各种经历，让我在充满期待的同时也有不少担忧。 那时，我突然意识到，孩⼦之间，凌欺的根源远⽐问题本⾝要复杂许多。
⼊学第⼀学期， 记忆中我做了好⼏次的就是各种道歉， 探望：因为哥哥玩⽯头，把同学脸砸了； 在学校被同学笑，下课去打⼈...
哥哥不算主动的孩⼦， 但却是“有仇必报”。
哥哥有幸，⼀直能够遇到好⽼师。 他的这些⾏为在⽼师眼中都被理解， 但男孩⼦精⼒充沛的天性仍然需要宣泄， 因此， 只能尽可能的增加课后运动量。
这些让我忽然同情起起我的那些男⽣同学们的家长，当男孩⼦的家长真⼼不易。
更具挑战的新西兰⽣活####
兄弟俩来到新西兰英⽂基本都是零基础， 尤其哥哥， 属于完美型孩⼦，
要确定⾃⼰说的完全没问题才会开⼝，于是开学很久都是哑巴英语。
新西兰的孩⼦⾝体⼤都⾮常健壮， ⼥孩和男孩不相上下， 游泳， 爬树，吊栏， 滑板车，样样灵活。
你永远不能从孩⼦的穿着来判断天⽓。
新西兰的冬天不能算凛冽，但也绝不温暖，可是，即便在零度⽓温下， 穿着短裤，中午脱掉外套着件短袖的学⽣⼤有⼈在， 甚⾄中学校服根本没有长裤。
IMG_8793.JPG
每次看到哥哥纤细的⾝体和同学粗壮的腿脚，都觉得，如果打架， 他完全不是对⼿。况且这边的孩⼦兄弟姐妹都⼤在同⼀间学校，数量上也不成正⽐。
在最初的四个⽉⾥， 因为语⾔障碍， 和同学发⽣冲突的次数貌似⼗个⼿指是算不过来的。
“影响⼒”最⼤的⼀次是他因为搭沙堡，和⼀个⾮洲的男⽣打架（应该是肌⾁密度⼤的西⾮，⽽⾮善于长跑的东⾮⼈）。 据哥哥说，那个男⽣告诉其他同学，哥哥踢坏了他的沙堡，还先打⼈。 于是全班男⽣“与他为敌”，在教室⾥围城⼀圈，⼀个个上来和对打。哥哥⼤约打败了三个⼈之后，其他⼈就不再敢上前，这时⽼师赶到，制⽌了事态的继续发展。
作为妈妈， 那时我⼏乎每隔⼀天就要去和⽼师询问，沟通。 这个时候，给到我最多⽀持的是哥哥的班主任和ESOL⽼师。 作为有着⼆⼗多年丰富经验的ESOL⽼师， 她告诉我和其他⽼师，每个孩⼦都不同，即便已经⼊学⼏个⽉，哥哥仍然会处Culture shock（⽂化震惊）当中 。
同时，她写了⼀些语句，⽐如“停⽌你的⾏为”，“我不喜欢你碰我/拿我的东西”， “这是我的⾝体”等等英⽂语句， 让我们回家练习， 她还告诉哥哥，说这些话时⼀定要严肃的看着对⽅眼睛。
说⼀个额外的插曲作为这次事件的结尾， 在那次与全班同学对峙之后， 班⾥两个⾮常健壮的男孩⼦
私人教练培训健身教练学校成了他最好的朋友， 后来哥哥被邀请参加他们的⽣⽇派对，2km 长跑时也是互相扶持着跑到终点。
IMG_5316.JPG
故事还有很多，或者还在继续， 但这些经历告诉我，校园凌欺绝不是通过某⼀⽅的⾏动能解决的。 如同治病，发⽣了凌欺， 我们需要外部⼲预，也需要内部调养； 请让我们以⼀个成年⼈的⾝份从孩⼦的⾓度去帮助他， 这绝不是通过某⼀⽅的努⼒就能⽴刻解决的。
因此，我的感受是
事件发⽣时请不要太快下结论，这通常是⼀个⽐较普遍的现象，⽆论哪个国家。 有些孩⼦认为的游戏对于另⼀些
孩⼦来说可能会造成不舒服。
aimimi务必和学校保持沟通，尽量说事实，⽽⾮带情绪。
请在私下做⼯作， 不要太多在孩⼦⾯前讨论，给予压⼒。
必要时咨询专家，寻找专业的解决⽅法。
健康的体魄是孩⼦最需要的，如果学校⾥⽆法给孩⼦创造⾃信的环境，请帮忙创造。
最后，推荐⼀部电影
fifteen功夫梦 (The Karate Kid )
Persistent Bullying
原⽂翻译如下：
不断受到欺凌是孩⼦所⾯临的最糟糕的经历之⼀。如何阻⽌其发⽣呢?谢菲尔⼤学⼼理学家教授彼得?史密斯在教育部的资助下组织了谢菲尔德反欺凌⼲预项⽬。以下是他的⼀些发现。
欺凌有多种⽅式：从⼝头上的——⽐如被嘲笑或者被叫很伤⼈的外号，到⾝体上的——⽐如被打、被踢或推搡。此外，还有⼀些不太直接的欺凌⽅式，⽐如被社会团体排斥在外。在我和Irene Whitney开展的⼀项调查中，我们发现在英国⼩学中，有四分之⼀的⼩学⽣有过受欺凌的经历，其中⼗例中有⼀例为持续受到欺凌，中学的欺凌现象要好⼀些，⼤约⼆⼗五例中有⼀例是持续受到欺凌，但是在这些情况中，受欺凌者可能反抗极其强烈。
欺凌显然是很不愉快的，⽽且会使经历过的孩⼦产⽣⾃贬和沮丧情绪在⼀些极端的情况中，欺凌甚⾄会导致⾃杀，但是很庆幸的是此类事件⽐较罕见。受到欺凌的⼩学⽣成年后更容易在⼈际沟通中遭遇困难，⽽那些经常实施欺凌的孩⼦长⼤后更有可能具有⾝体暴⼒倾向并且犯下反社会的罪⾏。
到⽬前为⽌，我们对这⼀问题的了解还远远不够，⽽且也⼏乎没有给教师提供处理欺凌问题的帮助。可能由此产⽣的⼀个现象就是学校经常会否认这⼀问题。“在这个学校没有欺凌的现象”已经被重复了⽆数次。但是绝⼤多数情况下这都不是事实。庆幸的是现在有越来越多的学校承认：“我们学校欺凌现象并不多，但是当其发⽣时，我们有很明确的处理⽅法”。
导致这⼀变化有三个原因。第⼀是对欺凌问题严重性的认识；第⼆，在英国有⼀些帮助处理欺凌问题的资源。⽐如，苏格兰教育研究局发⾏了⼀系列的材料：《反欺凌⾏动》在1992年夏被提供给英格兰、威尔⼠和苏格兰地区的所有学校。第⼆年⼜发⾏了《⽀持学校反对欺凌》。在爱尔兰地区，《在⼩学反抗遭遇欺凌⾏为指南》于1993年发⾏。第三，有证据表明，这些材料发挥了作⽤，学校也因此在反欺凌⽅⾯取得了⼀些成绩。这⼀结果来⾃于⼀项研究组监控的并认真开展的主题为“之前和之后”的对学校⼲预的评估。在挪威，经过⼀次全国范围的⼲预运动之后，对42所学校的⼀项评估显⽰，在两年多的时间内欺凌⾏为减少了⼀半。在谢菲尔德⼤学对16所⼩学和7所中学的⼀项调查中发现，⼤多数学校在减少欺凌⾏为⽅⾯取得了成功。
证据表明，控制欺凌⾏为最核⼼的步骤是制定针对欺凌⾏为的政策，明确欺凌⾏为意味着什么，并就其发⽣时应该采取哪些措施、保存哪些记录、通知何⼈、实施何种制裁⽅式等给出明确的指导。这⼀政策应该经过⼀段时间的磋商形成，⽽不是只在校长办公室⾥硬性实施的⽅案。应该使学⽣、家长和教职员⼯都感觉参与到政策的制定当中，⽽且这⼀政策需要⼴泛的传播和有效的执⾏。
可以采取其他措施来⽀持这个政策。可以通过使⽤影像、戏剧和⽂学等多种⽅法在课程中处理这⼀主题。这些⽅法对提⾼⼈们的意识是很有帮助的，⽽且最好将其放在学校讨论欺凌⾏为形成政策的早期阶段。此外，这为新⼊校的⼩学⽣更新政策或根据实际情况进⾏修订也很有⽤。但是仅靠课程只会有短期效果，它应该是对政策的补充，⽽⾮替代品。
还有⼀些⽅法适合⽤于单个⼩学⽣或⼩团体。对于那些容易成为被欺凌对象的学⽣⽽⾔，进⾏⾃信训练是很值得做的；在发⽣群体欺凌⾏为时，某些特定的⽅法，⽐如“不责备”是与实施欺凌⾏为的学⽣不直接对抗⽽改变他们⾏为的有效⽅法。然⽽，对于那些长期持续实施欺凌⾏为的学⽣，我们必须对其进⾏制裁。
cute是什么意思在操场上开展⼯作也是很重要的。⼀个有效的步骤就是培训午餐时段督导员以区分嬉戏式争⽃和欺凌⾏为，并帮助他们中⽌冲突。另⼀个可能的措施就是改善操场环境，从⽽使学⽣不太可能因为厌倦或感到挫折⽽实施欺凌⾏为。
随着环境和⽅式⽅法的改进，我们可以预见⾄少可以最⼤程度地防⽌学校⾥最严重的欺凌⾏为的发⽣。我们付出的努⼒越多，学校参与的⼒度越⼤，取得的效果就可能越好。欺凌⾏为的减少和因此产⽣的学⽣幸福感的递增⽆疑是⼀个值得为之努⼒的⽬标。
crunchy
原⽂
Persistent bullying is one of the worst experiences a child can face. How can it be prevented?Peter Smith, Professor of Psychology at the University of Sheffield, directed the Sheffield Anti-Bullying Intervention Project funded by the Deportment for Education.Here he reports on his findings.成都外教一对一
Bullying can take a variety of forms, from the verbal - being taunted or called hurtful names - to the physical - being kicked or shoved - as well as indirect forms, such as being excluded from social groups. A survey I conducted with Irene Whitney found that in British primary schools up to a quarter of pupils reported experience of bullying, which in about one in ten cas was persistent. There was less bullying in condary schools, with about one in twenty-five suffering persistent bullying, butthe cas may be particularly recalcitrant.
Bullying is clearly unpleasant, and can make the child experiencing it feel unworthy and depresd. In extreme cas it can even lead to suicide, though this is thankfully rare. Victimid pupils are more likely to experience difficulties with interpersonal relationships as adults, while children who persistently bully are more likely to grow up to be physically violent, and convicted
of anti-social offences.
Until recently, not much was known about the topic, and little help was available to teachers to deal
新东方上市with bullying. Perhaps as a conquence, schools would often deny the problem. 'There is no bullying at this school' has been a common refrain, almost certainly untrue. Fortunately more schools are now saying: 'There is not much bullying here, but when it occurs we have a clear policy for dealing with it:
Three factors are involved in this change. First is an awareness of the verity of the problem. Second, a number of resources to help tackle bullying have become available in Britain. For example, the Scottish Council for Rearch in Education produced
a package of materials, Aaion Against Bullying, circulated to all schools in England and Wales as well as in Scotland in summer 1992, with a cond pack, Supporting Schools Against Bullying, produced the following year. In Ireland, Guidelines on Countering Bullying Behaviour in Post-Primory Schools was published in I 993. Third, there is evidence that the materials work, and that schools can achieve something.This comes from carefully conducted 'before and after' evaluations of interventions in schools, monitored by a rearch team. In Norway, after an intervention campaign was introduced nationally, an evaluation of forty-two schools suggested that, over a two-year period, bullying was halved. The Sheffield investigation, which involved sixteen primary schools and ven condary schools, found that most schools succeeded in reducing bullying.欧美经典
Evidence suggests that a key step is to develop a policy on bullying, saying clearly what is meant by bullying, and giving
explicit guidelines on what will be done if it occurs, what records will be kept, who will be informed, what sanctions will be employed. The policy should be developed through consultation, over a period of time - not just impod from the head teacher's office! Pupils, parents and staff should feel they have been involved in the policy, which needs to be disminated and implemented effectively.
Other actions can be taken to back up the policy. There are ways of dealing with the topic through the curriculum, using video, drama and literature. The are uful for raising awareness, and can best be tied in to early phas of development, while the school is starting to discuss the issue of bullying. They are also uful in renewing the policy for new pupils, or revising it in the light of experience. But curriculum work alone may only have short-term effects; it should be an addition to policy work,not a substitute.
英语信件格式There are also ways of working with individual pupils, or in small groups. Asrtiveness training for pupils who are liable to be victims is worthwhile, and certain approaches to group bullying such as 'no blame', can be uful in changing the behaviour of bullying pupils without confronting them directly, although other sanctions may be needed for tho who continue with persistent bullying.
Work in the playground is important, too. One helpful step is to train lunchtime supervisors to distinguish bullying from playful fighting, and help them break up conflicts. Another possibility is to improve the playground environment, so that pupils are less likely to be led into bullying from boredom or frustration.
With the developments, schools can expect that at least the most rious kinds of bullying can largely be prevented. The more effort put in and the wider the whole school involvement, the more substantial the results are likely to be. The reduction in bullying - and the conquent improvement in pupil happiness - is surely a worthwhile objective.
