【今⽇分享】TED演讲：当你回复垃圾邮件会发⽣什么？
2015TEDGlobal>⽇内⽡|可疑邮件:⽆⼈认领的保险债券、镶钻的保险箱、被困在国外的密友。它们出现在我们的收件箱⾥，标准程序是⼀看到就删除。但是当你回复的时候会发⽣什么呢?接下来是作家兼喜剧演员詹姆斯·维奇(James Veitch)，他与⼀个垃圾邮件发送者进⾏了长达数周的搞笑交流，对⽅提出要与他达成⼀项热门交易。
This is what happens when you reply to spam emailJames Veitch
中英⽂演讲稿
00:00
A few years ago, I got one of tho spam emails. And it managed to get through my spam filter. I'm not quite sure how, but it turned up in my inbox, and it was from a guy called Solomon Odonkoh.
⼏年前，我收到了⼀封垃圾邮件。我的垃圾邮件过滤器没起作⽤。我不知道它是怎么做到的，但它的确出现在了我的收件箱⾥，发件⼈是个叫所罗门·奥东寇的家伙。
00:14replyto
I know.
我知道。
00:16
It went like this: it said, "Hello James Veitch, I have an interesting business proposal I want to share with you, Solomon." Now, my hand was kind of hovering on the delete button, right? I was looking at my phone. I thought, I could just delete this. Or I could do what I think we've all always wanted to do.
邮件是这么开头的：信上说：“你好，詹姆斯·维奇，我有个挺有意思的投资提案，想和你谈⼀谈——所罗门” 这时我的⼿指⼤概已经放在删除键上了，对吧？我当时看着我的⼿机，⼼想我可以直接删了它。或者我也可以做点什么，我们每个⼈⼀直都很想做的事。
00:38
And I said, "Solomon, Your email intrigues me."
于是我说：“所罗门，你的邮件令我很感兴趣。”
00:48
And the game was afoot.
休假英文游戏就此开始。
sometimes歌词00:53
He said, "Dear James Veitch, We shall be shipping Gold to you."
他说：“亲爱的詹姆斯·维奇，我们会给你运送黄⾦。”
00:58
"You will earn 10% of any gold you distributes."
"You will earn 10% of any gold you distributes."
“你可以将黄⾦转⼿，赚取10%的回扣。”
01:03
So I knew I was dealing with a professional.
于是我就知道了，和我打交道的是个⾼⼿。
01:10
I said, "How much is it worth?"
all well我说：“它价值多少？”
01:13
He said, "We will start with smaller quantity," -- I was like, aww -- and then he said, "of 25 kgs.
他说：“我们⼀开始可以做⼩⼀点。” 我当时就，“哎……” 然后他说：“25公⽄。”
01:22
The worth should be about $2.5 million."
coupon是什么意思“总价值⼤约250万美元。”
01:27
I said, "Solomon, if we're going to do it, let's go big.
我说：“所罗门，我们要做这⽣意，就⼲⼀⼤票。”
01:38
I can handle it. How much gold do you have?"
“我能搞定。你⼿上有多少⾦⼦？”
01:45
He said, "It is not a matter of how much gold I have, what matters is your capability of handling. We can start with 50 kgs as trial shipment."
他说：“关键不是我有多少，⽽是你能接多少。我们⼀开始可以发过去50公⽄试试。”
吴彦祖 魔兽01:52
I said, "50 kgs? There's no point doing this at all unless you're shipping at least a metric ton."
02:03
He said, "What do you do for a living?"
他说：“你是⼲什么⼯作的？”
02:08
I said, "I'm a hedge fund executive bank manager."
我说：“我是银⾏对冲基⾦的执⾏经理。”
02:15
This isn't the first time I've shipped bullion, my friend, no no no.
“朋友，这不是我第⼀次运⾦条了。不，不，不。”
02:20
Then I started to panic. I was like, "Where are you bad?" I don't know about you, but I think if we're going via the postal rvice, it ought to be signed for. That's a lot of gold."
然后我开始有点慌了。我当时就说：“你们总部在哪？” 我还不了解你，但是我想如果我们要通过邮政业务发货，⼀定要办签收。这笔⾦⼦可不算少了。“
02:30
He said, "It will not be easy to convince my company to do larger quantity shipment."
他说：“说服我们公司扩⼤运货量的确不容易。”
02:34
constantinople
I said, "Solomon, I'm completely with you on this one. I'm putting together a visual for you to take into the board meeting. Hold tight."
我说：“所罗门，我⾮常同意你的观点。我现在给你整理⼀些图像资料，你可以带到董事会上去。我去去就回。”
02:49
This is what I nt Solomon.
这是我发给所罗门的东西。
02:59
I don't know if we have any statisticians in the hou, but there's definitely something going on.
我不知道这⾥有没有哪位是统计学家，总之这肯定有点道理吧。
03:07
I said, "Solomon, attached to this email you'll find a helpful chart. I've had one of my assistants run the numbers.
我说：”所罗门，邮件的附件⾥有⼀个有⽤的图表。我让我的助⼿细致分析了数据。
03:15
We're ready for shipping as much gold as possible."
我说：”所罗门，邮件的附件⾥有⼀个有⽤的图表。我让我的助⼿细致分析了数据。
03:18
There's always a moment where they try to tug your heartstrings, and this was it for Solomon. He said, "I will be so much happy if the deal goes well, becau I'm going to get a very good commission as well." And I said, "That's amazing, What are you going to spend your cut on?" And he said, "On RealEstate, what about you?"
总有些时候你会让别⼈⼼痒痒，对所罗门来说就是这样。他说：“如果⽣意顺利进⾏，我会⾮常开⼼的，因为我也会获得⼀笔丰厚的佣⾦。” 然后我说：“这太棒了！你打算怎么花这笔钱？” 他说：“投资不动产，你呢？”
03:34
I thought about it for a long time. And I said, "One word; Hummus."
我想了很久。然后我说：“就⼀个词：⾖沙酱。”
03:48
"It's going places.
“这肯定有戏的啦。”
03:51
I was in Sainsbury's the other day and there were like 30 different varieties. Also you can cut up carrots, and you can dip them. Have you ever done that, Solomon?"
我有天在英佰瑞超市，那⾥有30多种⾖沙酱。⽽且你还可以切碎胡萝⼘，然后蘸着它来吃。你有试过吗，所罗门？！”
04:02
He said, "I have to go bed now."
他说：“我要去睡觉了。”
04:09
"Till morrow. Have sweet dream."
“明天再聊。祝你好梦！”
04:13
I didn't know what to say! I said, "Bonsoir my golden nugget, bonsoir."
我当下就⽆语了！我说：“晚安，我的⾦条⼦，晚安。”
04:21
Guys, you have to understand, this had been going for, like, weeks, albeit hitherto the greatest weeks of my life, but I had to knock it on the head. It was getting a bit out of hand. Friends were saying, "James, do you want to come for a drink?" I was like, "I can't, I'm expecting an email about some gold."
们，你们得知道，这个东西进⾏了⼤概⼏周吧，虽然它⽬前是我⼈⽣中最快乐的⼏周，但是我必须得叫停了。它有点失去控制了。朋友跟我说：“詹姆斯，想要下馆⼦⼩酌⼀杯吗？” 我的反应就是，“不不不，我在等⼀封关于什么黄⾦的邮件。”
04:35
So I figured I had to knock it on the head. I had to take it to a ridiculous conclusion. So I concocted a plan. I said, "Solomon, I'm concerned about curity. When we email each other, we need to u a code." And he agreed.
我觉得我得叫停了。我得让它发展到⼀个超级⽆厘头的结局。所以我编写了⼀套计划。我说：“所罗门，我很担⼼安全问题。当我们互相发邮件时，我们要⽤⼀种暗号。” 他同意了。
04:51
I said, "Solomon, I spent all night coming up with this code we need to u in all further correspondence:
我说：“所罗门，我想了⼀晚上，想到了这些暗号，未来的⼀切通讯请务必使⽤：
04:56
Lawyer: Gummy Bear.payment是什么意思
律师：⼩熊橡⽪糖。
Bank: Cream Egg.
银⾏：奶油蛋。
05:04
Legal: Fizzy Cola Bottle. Claim: Peanut M&Ms.
法律：可乐QQ糖。索赔：M&M花⽣巧克⼒。
05:06
Documents: Jelly Beans.half是什么意思
⽂档：果冻⾖。
05:08
Western Union: A Giant Gummy Lizard."
西联汇款公司：巨⼤的橡⽪蜥蜴。”
05:12
I knew the were all words they u, right? I said, "Plea call me Kitkat in all further correspondence."
uha
