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More Wisdom in Less Time Brian Johnson’s The Way of the Superior Man A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire BY DAVID DEIDA · SOUNDS TRUE © 2004 · 202 PAGES “This book is a guide for a specific kind of newly evolving man. This man is unabashedly masculine—he is purpoful, confident, and directed, living his chon way of life with deep integrity and humor—and he is nsitive, spontaneous, and spiritually alive, with a heart-commitment to discovering and living his deepest truth.”~ David Deida from The Way of the Superior Man This is a powerful book. If you’re conrvative, it’s going to push your edges and might be too much for you. However, if you’re a man who’s committed to living his life at his edge, understanding the ideas of masculine and feminine energy and how they play out in intimate xual relationships, then this book is pretty much a must-read.In my experience, you may not always agree with everything Deida says, but you can be assured your perspective will expand—getting you one step clor to living your own highest truth. Deida talks about both the psychology and the technique in the book. I’m going to focus on the psychology. If you dig it, get the book becau there’s a lot in there that I think you’ll find empowering. (And, consider getting another great book called Finding God Through Sex with eve
n more practices and techniques you might enjoy.)As with all my favorites, the challenge with this one is what not to include. So, leaving a lot of the dozens of Big Ideas from the book on the cutting floor, I offer you my Notes on The Way of the Superior Man . We’ll start with the cornerstone of the Way of the Superior Man: His Mission.YOUR MISSION “If you have a masculine xual esnce then you would probably admit, if you were being brutally honest, that your intimate relationship is just not as important as the ‘mission’ in your life—but you still want a full and energetic relationship, perhaps quite badly.”I remember the first time I read that and the powerful resonance I felt. Then, I wasn’t in a relationship. Now I am. It still rings just as powerfully true. Deida comes back to the importance of men having an overriding mission/purpo again and again (and again!). In fact, one chapter is entitled: “If You Don’t Know Your Purpo, Discover It, Now” where he says: “The core of your life is your purpo. Everything in your life, from your diet to your career, must be aligned with your purpo if you are to act with coherence and integrity in the world. If you know your purpo, your deepest desire, then the cret of success is to discipline your life so that you support your deepest purpo and minimize distraction and detours.”Do you know your purpo? If not, discover it. Now. As Deida says: “Your masculine gift is to know where you are, where you want to be, and what you need to do to get there. If you don’t know one of the, then you need to discover it by any THE BIG IDEAS
Your Mission
You have one, right?
Quit Making Excus
Now.
Being Who You Are
Who el you trying to be?
Take Responsibility
100%.
Good Friends
Don’t ttle for mediocrity.
Be Willing to Change
Everything.
Give Yourlf
杭州培训机构
Give your gifts.
Transmission of Love
Commit to awakening.
Expand Sexual Bliss国有化
Always a good thing.
Polarity
Honor it.
Prai Your Woman
Watch her radiance glow.
Growth & Lovemoderate是什么意思
Commit to it.
... And more!
“This book is a guide
to shedding preten and living true to your core,
specifically for people who have a masculine xual
esnce and their feminine esnced lovers who have to deal with them.””
~ David Deida
stand by me什么意思means necessary. This vision is, esntially, the basic gift you have to offer your woman, as well as the world.”How? “To offer this masculine gift, you must cultivate your n of daily practice. Like a musician practicing his art, you must practice, daily, the art of feeling through your fear, feeling to your edge, and then living just beyond your edge, neither slinking into private consolation nor pushin
g so hard you disconnect from source. The source that is your deepest truth must become more and more the impul of your life. Over time, all of your activities must become aligned to this source. And so must your relationship.”That. Is. Hot. Deida has some more great tips on re-gaining/discovering your purpo in the book. My #1 Rule? Heed Buddha’s challenge that: “Your work is to discover your work, and then, with all your heart, to give yourlf to it.” Odds are you’re not going to discover your purpo in one weekend workshop or in one book or in one journaling exerci. It’s more like the story of the stone-cutter, who strikes and strikes the rock with his hammer hundreds and hundreds of times until, eventually, the rock breaks. Obviously, it’s a process. My vote? Commit to discovering your purpo and then simply take the next logical step—whether it’s reading the book you know you need to read, making the phone call you known you need to make, writing the business plan you’ve been thinking about forever. Whatever it is, DO SOMETHING! Move toward your highest lf. And, soon enough (and definitely after some hero’s journey-esque ups and downs), you’ll be on purpo.(And then you’ll get to hit a new rock as you forever take your evolving mission to the next highest edge. :)QUIT MAKING EXCUSES “Most postponements are excus for a lack of creative discipline. Limited money and family obligations have never stopped a man who really wanted to do something, although they provide excus for a man who is not really up to the creative challenge in the first place.”Wow. Well, that sums it up, eh? Let’s shine a spotlight on you—
> Are you making excus? Time to step up to the fact that men who really wanted to do something were never limited by your excus.BEING WHO YOU ARE “Make your life an ongoing process of being who you are, at your deepest, most eaful levels of being. Everything other than this process is condary.”Again, step #1 for the Superior Man? Know thylf. Immediately followed by: Express thylf. We MUST show up as our highest lves. THAT is our primary practice—if we have any integrity to our commitment to give our gifts to the world.TAKE RESPONSIBILITY “My deepest wisdom is leading me to this decision. If I am wrong, I will learn from it, and my wisdom will have deepened. I’m willing to be wrong, and grow from it.”“You are either living fully,
giving your gift in the midst of tho challenges, even学历和学力
today, or you are waiting for an imaginary future which
will never come. Men who
have lived significant lives are men who never waited: not for money, curity, ea,
or women. Feel what you
want to give most as a gift, to your woman and to the
world, and do what you can to give it today.”
~ David Deida
Are you taking responsibility for who you are and how you’re showing up? Or, are you acquiescing to the demands of society? Very important decision. Choo wily.I say we follow Deida’s recommendation to “make your own decision, bad on your deepest intuitive wisdom and knowledge. You may make the right decision or the wrong one, but whatever happens, it is your best shot, and you will strengthen your capacity for future action.”
GOOD FRIENDS
“Good friends should not tolerate mediocrity in one another… Choo men friends who
themlves are living at their edge, facing their fears and living just beyond them. Men of this kind can love you without protecting you from the necessary confrontation with reality that your life involves. You should be able to trust that the friends will tell you about your life as they e it, offer you a specific action which will shed light on your own position, and give you the support necessary to live in the freedom just beyond your edge, which is not always, or even usually, comfortable.”
Powerful.
Are you tolerating mediocrity in yourlf? In your friends?
BE WILLING TO CHANGE
“A man must be prepared to give 100% of his purpo, fulfill his karma or dissolve it, and then let go of that specific form of living. He must be capable of not knowing what to do with his life, entering a period of unknowingness and waiting for a vision or a new form of purpo to emerge. The cycles of strong specific action followed by periods of not knowing what the hell is going on are natural for a man who is shedding layers of karma in his relaxation into truth.”Wow. That kicks off a chapter called: “Be Willing to Change Everything in Your Life.”
I can’t remember the first time I read it, but I definitely remember the cond. It was after I raid $3 million of capital and invested every bit of energy I had for 3 years into getting Zaadz off the ground… and then after gaining significant momentum, finding mylf feeling (oddly) less than complete.
Deida continues: “As you open yourlf to living at your edge, your deepest purpo will slowly begin
to make itlf known. In the meantime, you will experience layer after layer of purpos, each one getting clor and clor to the fullness of your deepest purpo. It is as if your deepest purpo is at the center of your being, and it is surrounded by concentric circles, each circle being a lesr purpo. Your life consists of penetrating each circle, from the outside toward the center.”And: “As you dissolve each layer and move toward the center, you will more and more be living
from your deeper purpos, and then your deepest heart purpo, whatever it is, in every moment.”Definitely felt that. You? Then: “Each purpo, each mission, is meant to be fully lived to the point where it becomes empty, boring, and uless. Then it should be discarded. This is a sign of growth, but you may mistake it for a sign of failure.”He then talks about whether you’re just giving up and need to pervere rather than move through the experience to the next and offers a few signs that the decision may in fact be rooted in completing a layer of purpo including:1. “You suddenly have no interest whatsoever in a project or mission that, just previously,
motivated you highly.” (check)
zeiss
2. “You feel surprisingly free of any regrets whatsoever, for starting the project or for ending it.” (check)
3. “Even though you may not have the slightest idea of what you are going to do next, you feel
“Own your fear, and lean just beyond it. In every aspect of your life. Starting now.”
~ David Deida “Most men’s ultimate reason for doing anything has to do with discovering their deepest truth, enjoying total freedom and love, and giving their fullest gifts.”
~ David Deida
clear, unconfud, and, especially, unburdened.” (check)
4. “You feel an increa in energy at the prospect of ceasing your involvement with the
project.” (check)
And I laughed out loud at #5: “The project ems almost silly, like collecting shoelaces or wallpapering your hou with gas station receipts. Sure, you could do it, but why would you want to?” (check check check)英文字幕网
For the deeply personal reasons I started and believed in Zaadz, it was disorienting for me to witnes
姜太公钓鱼愿者上钩的故事
s such a significant shift in my attitude towards the project. Reading the passages and veral other books (Tim Ferriss’ 4-Hour Workweek and Deepak Chopra’s Seven Spiritual Laws of Success were huge inspirations for me at that time as well), gave me a profound n of clarity.
With that clarity, I decided to ll the business. Within 30 days of the decision, we completed the sale of Zaadz to Gaiam, Inc., giving my investors a great return, my team an opportunity to work within the broader framework of a larger business (pros and cons to that, of cour) and giving me the opportunity to powerfully enter the next pha of my life.
At the time, I didn’t know what I was going to do exactly. I just knew (!) that my dharma had been fulfilled with the project and that it was time for me to move on.
In the midst of that unknown, there were surprisingly few “Eek!!” moments. And, after pushing through a ries of potential creative ideas (and experiencing the temporary jolts of not finding the one on the first try), I came to a place of absolute certainty that my next mission was to create the PhilosophersNotes—100 of them that inspire and empower busy lf-actualizers
en route to creating a highly profitable business that would allow me to continue my studies, creative pursuits and optimization of my life.
Enough about me and this particular Big Idea.
I hope (and trust) you saw visions of yourlf in the passages and in my story.
What do YOU need to be willing to change in your life?
GIVE YOURSELF
“The main way you generate bodily tension is by turning your attention back on yourlf in lf-concern, curling into yourlf so tightly you feel all knotted up. Therefore, the main cure is to give yourlf to others.”
That’s hot. And so true, eh?
奥斯卡神曲ALL the great teachers talk about this tendency to contract into lf-centeredness, fear, etc. And they also all talk about the need to expand in rvice to experience the joy of living on purpo. Deida also ties this to our xuality and our ability to plea our women. Get out of your own lf-concern. We need to give oulves!
TRANSMISSION OF LOVE
“The purpo of your intimacy is the passionate transmission of love, the rejuvenative
healing of xual energy, and the cultivation of heart through your mutual commitment to spiritual awakening.”
That might be the most beautiful description of the purpo of intimacy I’ve read.
Worth a re-read and worth striving to embody, eh?
EXPAND SEXUAL BLISS “If you want to expand xual bliss as fully as possible, remember that your emotional disposition is far more important than the technical exercis themlves.”Amen to that. I don’t know about you, but the times when I struggle with my xual performance/technique are almost perfectly correlated to the times I’m not living on purpo. Solve one and the other is in pretty good shape. (Of cour, techniques are a nice party favor, so get the book and learn ‘em. :)POLARITY “Sexual attraction is bad on xual polarity, which is the force of passion that arcs between masculine and feminine poles. All natural forces flow between two poles. The north and south poles of the earth create a force of magnetism. The positive and negative poles of your electrical
outlet or car battery create an electrical flow. In the same way, masculine and feminine poles between people create the flow of xual feeling. This is xual polarity.”
Men and women both have feminine and masculine qualities. “Men can take care of their children and women can fight for their country.”
But if we want to have truly vital intimate relationships, Deida admonishes us to appreciate and nurture our polarity. Note to the ladies: “Becau a man’s priority is his mission, he will always gravitate to a woman whom he feels would most support his mission.”
塔玛拉德鲁
Amen.
PRAISE YOUR WOMAN
“Prai is literal food for feminine qualities. If you want your woman to grow in her radiance, health, happiness, love, beauty, power, and depth, prai the qualities. Prai them daily, a number of times.”
Prai and appreciation are the hallmark of successful relationships. I go into the power of the ideas in my Notes on Gay & Katie Hendricks’ BRILLIANT work on Conscious Living and Loving. (If y
ou haven’t checked that one out and are even thinking about relationships, get it.) Their books and workshops teach people how to give and receive appreciation. It’s that important.They ba a lot of their work on John Gottman, the guy who can tell you within 5 minutes whether a couple will get divorced with a STUNNING (!) 90%+. He puts appreciation at the top of his Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. His rule: Successful couples have at least a 5:1 ratio in positive to negative interactions. The easiest way to boost that ratio? Learn how to prai/appreciate. And Deida takes it a step further with his recommendation to prai that which we specifically want to e more of: our woman’s “radiance, health, happiness, love, beauty, power, and depth.” There’s nothing more beautiful than a woman owning the qualities. Let’s prai our Goddess many times today, shall we?
INSIST ON GROWTH
“But a superior man will not ttle for less than the fullest incarnation of love of which he and his woman are capable. With compassion, he slices though all bullshit and demands authenticity and humor. It’s as if he’s saying to his woman, ‘The divine way or the highway!’ … But rather than wanting his woman to follow his personal direction, a superior man wants her to move in the direction that most rves her growth in love and happiness. He will ttle for nothing less.”Sounds g
ood to me. To “the divine way!” :)
“The whole point of an intimacy is to rve each other in growth and love, hopefully in better ways than we can rve ourlves. Otherwi, why engage in intimacy if your growth and love are rved more by living alone? Intimacy is about growing more than you could by yourlf, through the art of mutual gifting.”
~ David Deida
