说说八卦有益（如果你正确八卦）
Whether you make a point not to talk behind other people’s backs or you subscribe to the belief that all news is fair game (and to Us Weekly), you’ve surely engaged in a little bit of gossip in your day. OK, a lot of gossip.
无论你声称自己不会背后说人坏话，还是你认为所有消息都是公平游戏（也会订阅《美国周刊》），你必然每天都沉浸在一些八卦之中。好吧，是很多八卦。
While people think of gossip as spiteful and unproductive, experts believe it can have great emotional benefits. “When friends come together, gossiping can help with bonding,” explains Christine Weber, Ph.D., a Long Island, New York-bad clinical psychologist. “It forms clor relationships with friends who share the same values, activities and interests.”
尽管人们认为八卦总是不怀好意且完全是闲人的消遣，但是专家却认为他能够陶冶情操。“朋友们聚在一起八卦一下，可以增进感情，”克莉丝汀•韦伯博士这样解释道，她是纽约长岛的一位临床心理学家。“它可以让那些具有相同价值观，相趣的朋友更加亲密。”
Gossip can also boost social support where you didn’t expect it, says Nicole Zangara, a licend clinical social worker and author of “Surviving Female Friendships: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.” “When we learn information about a friend that we might not hav
big bang theorye known becau they felt ashamed to tell us themlves—for example, they were recently diagnod with a dia or are going through a paration—we can then reach out and be there for them.”balloon
八卦还可以获得意想不到的社会援助，尼克•赞加拉如是说，她是一名持牌临床社会工作者，同时也是《女性友谊生存法则：好人、坏人和丑角》的作者。“如果朋友羞于启齿，我们可以从其他途径得到消息 – 例如，他们最近查出得了某种疾病或者他们正在闹离婚 – 这样我们就可以陪在他们身边帮助他们。”
Scientific rearch has demonstrated that gossip can be a uful tool in society, too. A study published in Psychological Science in January this year showed that gossip actually helps people identify cooperative—and uncooperative—members in a group.
科学研究表明八卦也可以是一个很有效的社会工具。今年一月份在《心理科学》杂志上发表的一项研究说八卦确实能够帮助人们区分一个团队里可以合作和不合作的成员。
最有效的英语学习方法Strangers were put in a room to play a computer game in which they could donate money to a communal pot and share the proceeds, or each person could lfishly refu to contr
ibute but reap the shared rewards nonetheless. If someone acted solely in their own lf-interest, the other players could warn the next group of his or her actions, and that group could choo to vote the player out of the game.
彼此陌生的人们在同一个房间玩一个电脑游戏，游戏中他们为一个社区捐钱，同时分享游戏进程，或者每个人都可以自私地拒绝捐助，并掠夺大家的成果。如果有人为了个人利益单独行动，其他人就会跟下一组成员揭露TA的行为，这样这个小组便可以选择投票将这个人逐出游戏。
The results revealed that the players were keen to exclude non-cooperative people who would exploit them. And people who’d been kicked out becau of their reputations later joined in working with, instead of against, their game-mates. In the end, everybody wins.
这个结果表明玩家都会排除那些不合作并且可能剥削自己的人。那些由于自己的坏名声被逐出游戏的人之后还可以加入他们的伙伴，而不是跟他们对着干。最后，人人都是赢家。
Of cour, that doesn’t mean that everything you say about another person is uful and justifiable. Some gossip is just catty. Here’s how to tell the difference and master the art o
f good gossip.
当然，这并不是说你八卦的每件事都获益无穷，并且无比公正。有些八卦仅仅是闲扯。下面就来说说如何区分，并且教你掌握正确八卦方法。
Be smart. Choo your gossip partners with the same discretion you’d lect your cosmetics. “Only gossip with tho in your clost circle,” warns Zangara. Don’t divluge to people who will spill the beans or who will react negatively to the topic. Limit your audience to people who need to know rather than who just want to know.
obfuscate聪明点。要像你选化妆品那样细心地挑选你的八卦小团队。“只跟你最亲密的人们一起八卦，”赞加拉提醒说。不要跟那种会走漏风声或者对这个话题没兴趣的人露口风。把你的听众限制在那些需要知道的人中间，而不是那些想知道的人。
伊尔维萨克
U gossip for good: “When you gossip for social bonding, share information that uplifts and inspires people,” advis Jill Spiegel, a motivation coach with more than 20 years of experience. If a colleague is having a hard time, rather than fueling the water-cooler whispers, spin the chatter toward something positive. For example: “Joan looks so sad an增加记忆力的食物
d worried. Let’s take her out to lunch to lift her spirits.jingle bells mp3”
用八卦做好事：“如果你是为了社会关系而八卦，分享那些充满正能量的消息，可以激励他人，”吉尔•施皮格尔建议道，他是一位拥有20年经验的激励教练。如果一位同事正处于困难期，与其泼冷水，不如说些充满正能量的话。例如：“乔安看起来很难过很焦虑。我们带她吃饭，帮她振奋精神吧。”
Maybe someone’s body odor problem is becoming talk of the town. Weber suggests you should just be upfront with the target of the gossip in such cas. “Approaching the individual in an appropriate way can rve to alleviate an overall problem and eliminate the gossip associated with it,” suggests Weber.
也许某人的体臭已经臭名远扬。韦伯建议在这种情况下，你应该正视八卦主人公。“适当的接触TA可以缓解问题，消除八卦，”韦伯建议道。
Filter fact from fiction…“Positive gossip involves sharing facts over rumor,” says Spiegel. Confirm a rumor before you spread it. And remember that things we hear through the grapevine may only give one side of the story, so try and get the full scoop. “Try to imagin
e how the target of the gossip would convey that information from their point of view,” says Beverly Flaxington, a certified professional behavioral analyst and author of “Understanding Other People: The Five Secrets to Human Behavior.”
从故事中过滤事实……“积极的八卦分享的是事实而不是流言蜚语，”施皮格尔说。你传播谣言之前先确认一下。记得我们听来的小道消息很可能只是故事的一部分，所以试着了解事情的全貌。“试想八卦主人公会怎样以他们的观点说出故事，”比福利•弗莱克辛顿说，他是认证的专业行为分析家，同时是《了解他人：人类行为的五个秘密》的作者。
…and fact from feeling. While you can share your opinion about a situation, exert caution in how you prent it. Zangara points out that it’s hard to parate your interpretation of an event with the event itlf. “When we gossip about something happening in another friend’s life—maybe she’s moving or going through a divorce—we share what we’re feeling about it,” says Zangara. 谷歌在线翻译英语“raisonThere is definitely a fine line of talking about a friend and then saying negative, rude things about her.”
还要从感情中过滤事实。当你对一件事发表观点时，要注意你讲述的方式。赞加拉指出很难区分你对事实的解读和事实本身。“当我们八卦另一个朋友的事情时 – 也许她正在搬家或
闹离婚 – 招生代理我们是在分享我们的感受，”赞加拉说。“谈论一个朋友和说她坏话两者之间有很大不同。”
