如何停⽌⾃我欺骗并制服⼤脑？
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在⼤脑中，总有⼀个不断批评你、贬低你、放⼤你的弱点的声⾳，但⼤多数⼈甚⾄都没有意识到它的存在。这五种最常见的⾃我欺骗类型是：
1. 审判者，总是喜欢评判你，你做了什么？你没做什么？你应该做什么？批评你的每⼀个决定。
2. 施害者，它总有办法让你相信，整个世界都在密谋对你不利，⽤借⼝装满你的⼤脑，剥夺了你的意志⼒。
3. 保护者，它总是试图保护你免受失败，评判或批评的风险，告诉你，你的能⼒不够，你的经验不⾜。
4. 领班⼈，它⾮常善于洗脑，让你永远感受不到满⾜，永远都觉得你不够好，做得不够多。
5. 忽视者，它不断地通过将别⼈的需求放在第⼀位来寻求认可，让你觉得你必须努⼒赢得别⼈的认可。
如果你听信这些欺骗者的声⾳，你就会失去对⾃我的的控制。那如何制服它们呢？
中英字幕
What if you were limitless? What if every single day you knew that nothing or no one would get you down? What if lf-doubt was replaced with unshakable conviction? Imagine how your life would play out over a week a month or even a year. Imagine the snowball of momentum and confidence regardless of external tbacks.
如果你⽆所不能？如果每⼀天你都能够坚信没有什么事物或⼈可以让你消沉？如果⾃我怀疑能够被不可动摇的信念所取代？想象⼀下，如果这些成为现实⼀周、⼀个⽉甚⾄⼀年，你的⽣活会变成什么样？想象⼀下，不管外界带给你什么样的挫折，你都能够保持滚雪球般的势头和信⼼。
We all know tho remarkable even obssive people that really go for it. They truly live their potential with conviction. What's the key difference between this tiny subt of movers and shakers and a majority with equally lofty aspirations that never really get there?I've had the good fortune of working with thousands of leaders at some of the most influential companies around the globe. My business helps them to boost their performance and part of the process includes identifying and removing obstacles that get in their way.
我们都知道那些⾮常杰出，甚⾄带⼀点偏执的⼈基本都是⾏动派。他们真正地坚定信念，发挥⾃⼰的潜能，这⼀⼩部分⾏动派与⼤多数有着同样崇⾼愿望但从未真正实现⽬标的⼈之间关键区别是什么？我很幸运，得以与全球⼀些⾮常具有影响⼒的公司的领导⼈合作，我的⼯作是帮助他们提⾼效能，⽽这个过程的⼀部分包括识别和消除妨碍他们的障碍。
As I engaged with more and more leaders, I started to notice a pattern emerging among tho that operated with a limited mindt versus the limitless minority. It turns out what held back most of the otherwi exceptional and talented people wasn't a lack of skill, experience or even resources. It was often rooted in a relationship with the clost and most influential person in their lives and this person would always appear to care but instead would sabotage their progress and growth. You have such a person in your life, too.
品牌少儿英语加盟随着我与越来越多的领导者接触，我开始注意到有⼀种模式存在于⼼态受限的⼈和那些不受限的少数⼈之间。事实上，阻碍这些本该出类拔萃、才华横溢的⼈的常见原因，并不是缺乏技能、经验甚⾄资源，⽽往往来源于他们⽣活中与之最亲密、对他们影响最⼤的⼈，这个⼈总是看起来很关⼼，但其实只会影响他们的进步和成长，你的⽣活中也有这样的⼈。
They're much clor than what you realize becau they exist up here. In your mind. I am not talking
imaginary friends, I'm talking about your inner deceiver. It's that insistent voice in your head that judges you, demeans you, shines a spotlight on your weakness. And becau most aren't even aware of it, it can lead to destructive lf-doubt and even lf-sabotage. It was clear to me that the happiest, most fulfilled and highest performers had figured out how to subdue their inner deceiver. In fact in the patterns I obrved there wasn't just one inner deceiver.基础英语口语
陌路人英文版他们⽐你想到的要离你更近，因为他们就存在于这⾥，在你的⼤脑中。我说的不是想象的朋友，⽽是你内⼼的欺骗者，就是你脑海中那个不停批评你、贬低你、放⼤你的弱点的声⾳。由于⼤多数⼈甚⾄没有意识到它的存在，往往会受其影响导致严重的⾃我怀疑，甚⾄⾃我伤害。我发现那些最幸福、最充实、成就最突出的⼈都已经克服了他们内⼼的欺骗者。事实上，在我观察到的模式中内⼼的欺骗者并不只有⼀个。
I identified five of the most common archetypes and now I'm going to expo them to you. Becau you won't be able to
subdue them without first recognizing them. And the prerequisite to operating with a truly limitless mindt is that you first need to free yourlf from their clutches.
我发现了五种最常见的类型。现在我要将它们介绍给你，因为要想制服它们，⾸先就要认识它们，⽽
拥有不受限制的⼼态的前提，是你⾸先需要把⾃⼰从它们的魔掌中解放出来。
Let's start with the deceiver I call the classic judge. As the name suggests the judge likes to judge you. What you did? what you didn't do? What you should have done? Criticizing every decision and blaming you for things outside of your control. When you ruminate on past failures with an unforgiving lens, that's not you, that's the classic judge preventing you from learning from the past and instead beating you down. Most psychology rearchers agree that the deceivers begin to emerge bad on the parenting you received when you were a child. If you had a critical controlling or demanding parent, you come to internalize this judgment and it manifests within you as an adult. So you give yourlf the same critical judgment. You develop an inability to acknowledge anything positive about yourlf or your performance and it's extremely damaging.
我们要说的第⼀个内⼼的欺骗者，我称之为审判者。顾名思义，审判者总是喜欢评判你，你做了什么？你没做什么？你应该做什么？批评每⼀个决定，并为不受你控制的事情⽽指责你。当你反思过去的失败却⽆法原谅⾃⼰，那其实不是你，⽽是你⼤脑中的审判者在阻⽌你从过去的经验中学习并试图将你击垮。⼤多数⼼理学研究者都认为，这些欺骗者开始出现是基于你在童年时期⽗母对你的教育。如果有⼀个⾮常挑剔、控制欲强、要求苛刻的家长，你就会将他们对你的评判内化，并在你成年后表现出来，所以你会给⾃⼰以同样的批评，这会导致你丧失认可任何关于你或你的表现的好的⽅⾯的能
⼒，会对你造成极⼤的伤害。
The cond deceiver is the victimizer. She has a way of convincing you that the univer is rigged to conspire against you. She fills your mind with excus and robs you of your willpower. Conversations with the victimizer sound like See? This always happens to you. Every time an opportunity comes up somehow you get screwed over. You're never going to be good enough for them. So what do you do? You give up. You stop trying becau your victimizer reminds you. What's the point anyway you can't win. You never win.
第⼆个欺骗者是施害者。她有办法让你相信整个宇宙都在密谋对你不利，她⽤借⼝装满你的⼤脑，剥夺了你的意志⼒，与施害者的对话往往是这样的，看到了吗？这种事情总是发⽣在你⾝上，每次有机会出现时，你总是有办法搞砸，你永远都抓不住机会，那么你会怎么做？你会放弃，你不再尝试，因为你⼤脑中的施害者提醒你了，反正你也成功不了，做不做有什么意义呢？你永远不会成功。
Next we have the deceiver I call the misguided protector. Your protector says things like Whoa whoa whoa slow down. Did you think this through? You don't know enough. You're not qualified. You're too old, too young. You'll mess up don't do it. It tries to protect you from a risk of failure, judgment or criticism. How? By keeping you paralyzed so you don't take any action. Becau then you're safe bu
vietnam什么意思t you're also stuck. If your parents t high standards for you and excessively criticized you when you failed to meet the standards? For example, You got an A. Why couldn't you get an A plus like your perfect cousin Julio. You may hear it as your misguided protector up here which leads you to fear failure and never feel ready.人妖空姐
接下来的⼀个欺骗者，我称之为被误导的保护者。你的保护者总是会说，哇哇哇，等等，你想清楚了吗？你了解的还不够多，你能⼒不够，你太⽼了，太年轻了，你会搞砸的，别去做了。它试图保护你免受失败、评判或批评的风险。如何保护的？通过让你⿇痹，让你不做任何⾏动。因为这样你就安全了，但你同时也被困住了。如果你的⽗母为你设定了很⾼的标准，并且如果你没有达到这些标准就会严厉地批评你。⽐如说，你得到了A，为什么你不能像你事事做得好的表弟胡⾥奥⼀样得到⼀个A+，如果你的脑⼦⾥住着⼀个被误导的保护者，你就会听到这些话，这会导致你害怕失败，永远⽆法做好准备。
Second to last is the ringmaster. The ringmaster is all about productivity guilt. If you're not familiar with the term. It's when you have an unhealthy drive to keep working becau you feel guilty when you stop. The ringmaster is very good at brainwashing you into believing that your worth and merit as a person are directly correlated to how productive you are. You achieve a goal, feel no satisfaction and immediately jump to the next goal. The unfulfilling treadmill of achievement addiction.
But the thing is no matter how hard you push yourlf or what you achieve you will never be good enough or have done enough for the ringmaster.
倒数第⼆个是领班，领班主要导致的是⽣产⼒愧疚。如果你不熟悉这个词，这是指有⼀种不健康的驱动⼒来驱使你继续⼯作。因为当你停下来的时候你会感到内疚，领班⾮常善于给你洗脑，让你相信你作为⼀个⼈的价值与你的⽣产⼒直接相关。你实现了⼀个⽬标，感觉不到满⾜，⼜马上投⾝下⼀个⽬标，⼀个对成绩成瘾⽆法停下脚步的跑步机，但问题是，⽆论你如何努⼒推动⾃⼰或取得什么成就。领班永远都不觉得你⾜够好，也不会觉得你做的⾜够多。
Our survey of two and a half thousand people globally found an overwhelming 93% experience this guilt frequently, putting themlves at risk of burnout. Maybe you haven't met any of the deceivers yet but instead are well acquainted with this last one.
我们对来⾃世界各地两千五百⼈的调查发现，⾼达93%的⼈经常经历这种负罪感，使他们⾯临着崩溃的风险，也许前⾯这些欺骗者你都没见过，但你可能对最后⼀个很熟悉。
Cloly related to the ringmaster it's the neglector. When you feel incure in your worth, you anticipate rejection. So you constantly ek validation by prioritizing the needs of everyone el. If you didn't receive emotional validation as a child or you had a parent that was hard to plea, you mi
ght work really hard as an adult to try and ek approval from everyone around you. Partners, peers, co-workers, your boss. And then whenever you don't receive it, it's an automatic trigger and you have a conditioned need to win it back.
与领班密切相关的忽视者，当你对⾃⼰的价值没有⾃信，你会觉得⾃⼰会被抛弃，所以你不断地通过把别⼈的需求放在第⼀位来寻求认可。如果你在童年时没有得到情感上的认可，或者你有⼀个难以取悦的⽗母，那么你长⼤后可能就会⾮常努⼒地想要从你周围的每个⼈那⾥寻求认可，伴侣、同辈、同事、你的⽼板，每当你没有收到认可，它就会⾃动触发，你会觉得你必须努⼒赢得认可。
The neglector drives you to give beyond your capacity, leaving you exhausted, drained and overwhelmed. So the stakes are high. If you listen to the deceivers, you buy into their narrative and give them power over you. The good news is that change is possible you can break free from the limits.
忽视者会促使你的付出超出你的能⼒，使你精疲⼒尽，不堪重负，最终崩溃。因此这与你有着相当严重的利害关系，如果你听信这些欺骗者的话，相信他们的说法，你就会让他们有了控制你的权利，好消息是，改变是可能的，你可以从这些限制当中挣脱出来。
The first step is awareness. If you have a classic judge hurling judgment and criticism at you for ever
ything that you do. Call it out. Classic judge, I know you're trying to convince me that I'm incompetent right now. But I'm choosing not to listen. Calling it out in this way is a form of psychological distancing where you're referring to this part of yourlf in the third person. We know from science that third person lf-talk helps you gain emotional distance from your deceiver allowing you to think with more rationality. If you notice your victimizer making you feel like you should just give up becau the world is against you.
第⼀步是意识。如果你脑海中有⼀个审判者，对你所做的⼀切进⾏评判和批评，直⾯它。审判者，我知道你在试图说服我，我⼀⽆是处，但我选择不听信你的话，以这种⽅式直⾯它是⼀种⼼理上的疏远。你以第三⼈称来看待这⼀部分的⾃⼰。科学告诉我们，第三⼈称的对话⽅式有助于你与欺骗者保持情感上的距离，使你能够更理性的思考。如果你注意到你的施害者正在告诉你全世界都在与你作对，你应该放弃。
Shift to an internal locus of control. Accept the fact that you can choo what you focus on at any moment. You can choo to focus on things outside of your control and feel powerless or you control what you have control over. Instead of saying look at what happened to me, look at what they did to me. U a technique called cognitive shifting and consciously redirect your attention to okay, this is what's happening in my life this is where I want to be and this is what I'm going to do about it.conductor是什么意思
转向内在控制。接受这样⼀个事实：你可以在任何时候选择你所关注的东西，你可以选择关注你⽆法控制的事情，继续感到⽆能为⼒，或者你去控制你能控制的东西，不要说看看我⾝上发⽣了什么，看看他们对我做了什么，⽽是通过认知改变的⽅法，有意识地将你的注意⼒转移。好吧，这就是我⽣活中所发⽣的，⽽这是我想要实现的，这是我为了实现⽬标将要做的。
Now you're speaking from a position of personal power. You take responsibility for what's within your control and choo to take action. What if you hear your misguided protector in your psyche trying to convince you that you'll fail so you shouldn't try at all. I have my own experience with my misguided protector. Chances are I wouldn't even be here or where I am today if I listen to it.
现在你说话的⽴场是基于你个⼈的能⼒，你决定对你有能⼒控制的事情负责，并选择采取⾏动，如果你听到的是内⼼的保护者的声⾳试图说服你，你注定会失败，所以根本不应该尝试，这时候该怎么做呢？对于保护者，我⾃⼰也曾经历过，如果我当时听信了它，可能我今天根本不会站在这⾥。
Back in march of 2020 when the world was suddenly in lockdowns, all of our business bookings were either cancelled or postponed and our business was dead in the water. So I was curious about experimenting with an app called Tiktok. I wanted to create content and e if we could help people through that platform. But then my protector woke up and said people will think you're ridiculous. You
're way too old for that. It's going to ruin your reputation. And I listened to my protector for two months until I didn't anymore. I decided to take action instead. I created 40 pieces of video content in one day. This way I couldn't back down for 40 days no matter what my protector said.
2020年3⽉的时候，世界突然进⼊封闭状态，我们所有的业务预订，要么被取消，要么被推迟，我们的业务陷⼊了绝境，所以我想要尝试⼀个叫做Tiktok的软件。我想创作内容，看看我们是否可以通过这个平台帮助⼈们，但这时我的保护者醒了过来，它说⼈们会觉得你很荒唐，你这个年纪已经不适合玩这种东西了，这会毁了你的声誉，有两个⽉的时间我都听从保护者的意见，直到我决定不再继续下去，我决定开始⾏动，我在⼀天之内创作了40个视频内容，这样⼀来，⽆论我的保护者说什么，⾄少40天的时间内我不会退缩。
And you know what? All it took was 40 days to e tens of thousands of followers start to accumulate. I didn't make perfection the goal. I made the process the goal. And nearly two years later, we have a million followers on that platform and over 2 million across all major social media platforms which has been the best marketing for our business. Taking us global and allowing us to help people all around the world. And none of that would have happened if I'd listened to my protector and
私人外教一对一stayed safe. So if you ever feel your protector taking over, grab a blank sheet of paper and write down all the protectors arguments.
你们知道发⽣了什么吗？只⽤了40天时间，帐号上就积累了数万的粉丝。我并没有把完美作为⽬标，我把过程作为⽬标，差不多两年后，我们在这个平台上有了⼀百万粉丝，在各个主要社交媒体平台上粉丝总计超过200万，这对我们的业务来说是最好的营销，把我们带向全球，使我们能够帮助世界各地的⼈们。⽽如果我⼀开始选择听从保护者的话，停留在安全区内，这⼀切都不会发⽣。因此，如果你觉得你的保护者控制了你，拿起⼀张⽩纸，把保护者的话都写下来。
Then ask: Is this scenario likely to happen? What's the worst that could happen realistically? Take time to rationally risk asss and you'll likely find it's just your protector being overly dramatic. Given the protector tries to keep you safe by keeping you stuck, the best antidote is to take action. Don't worry about getting things right the first go. Don't make perfection the standard. Just act. Be consistent and be open to growth. Make the process the goal.
然后问⾃⼰：这种情况发⽣的可能性⼤吗？实际上可能发⽣的最坏情况是什么？花点时间理性地评估风险，你可能会发现，其实只是你的保护者过于夸张了，鉴于保护者是通过困住你来保证你的安全，那么最好的解决⽅法就是⾏动。不要想着第⼀次就要把事情做好，不要把完美作为标准，只需要⾏动，坚持，不断成长，把过程作为⽬标。
Now the ringmaster. If you feel underving of taking a break and feel guilt or shame when you do, change the narrative in your head. Value yourlf for who you are not what you've done. Stop wearing busy as a badge of honor. Remind yourlf of your qualities, the value you add to the lives of others, how you make a difference. Write this down. And with this n of empowerment, pragmatically t healthy boundaries so that you have a more balanced life.
再来说领班。如果你觉得你不应该休息，在休息时会感到愧疚，就要改变你的想法。认可⾃⼰的价值是来⾃于你本⾝⽽⾮你做了什么，不要再把忙碌当做⼀种荣誉，提醒⾃⼰你拥有的品质，你为他⼈的⽣活增添的价值，你做出的影响，把这些写下来，切实地感受到⾃⼰的能⼒，然后从现实出发设定健康的界限，让⾃⼰有⼀个更平衡的⽣活。
Working hard at times is not a bad thing but risking burnout is counterproductive to performance. And finally, tho of you who have a loud neglector. I know what you're going through. Early in my career, my neglector was loud. I would constantly over apologize when I hadn't done anything wrong. Agree with people when I actually disagreed on principle. Avoid any possibility of conflict and would say yes of cour when I really meant no. I was a people plear to the point of sacrificing who I truly was.
有时努⼒⼯作并不是⼀件坏事，但让⾃⼰精疲⼒尽只会对效绩起到反作⽤。最后，那些被忽视者所影响的⼈。我知道你们正在经历什么。在我的事业早期，我也深受忽视者的影响，哪怕我没有做错什么，也会不停地道歉，赞同那些我在原则上根本不认可的⼈，避免任何冲突的可能性，在想说不的时也还是说好。我是⼀个讨好者，甚⾄为此牺牲了真正的⾃⼰。
I gave away so much of mylf in my efforts to be approved of that I no longer knew who I was. But you can't be limitless if you have nothing left inside to give. If you have a strong neglect of like I did, you need to overcome the codependency and acknowledge your worth is not linked to how you think others e you. If you let people's perception of you dictate your behavior, you will never grow as a person.
为了得到认可，我放弃了很多⾃⼰的东西，以⾄于我都不认识⾃⼰了。但如果你的内⼼只剩空壳，你拿什么去突破这些限制。如果你像我⼀样总是忽视⾃⼰，你需要克服依赖认可，你的价值与你认为的别⼈对你的看法⽆关。如果你让别⼈对你的看法左右你的⾏为，你将永远⽆法成长。
And when you do choo to give of yourlf in the future ask am I doing this out of compulsion for approval or is it in a true spirit of rvice. So the are the five inner critical deceivers the archetypes I've identified cross-culturally with people all around the world. And what's really interesting is that we
've obrved that many high performers believe that the inner deceivers are central to driving their performance. While outwardly they appear successful, allowing their core driving force to emanate from the fear of failure, envy, greed, eking approval and status is a proven source of unhappiness, constant stress and a lack of fulfillment.
⽇后，当你再选择奉献⾃⼰的时候，问问⾃⼰我这样做是因为想要得到别⼈的认可，还是出于真正的服务精神。这就是我与世界各地跨⽂化的⼈群确定出的五个关键的内⼼欺骗者，⽽真正有趣的是，我们观察到许多杰出⼈⼠认为，这些内⼼的欺骗者是推动他们做出成绩的核⼼，虽然外表看起来很成功，但他们的核⼼驱动⼒却来⾃对失败的恐惧、嫉妒、贪婪、寻求认同和地位，这些都是不快乐、持续压⼒和感受不到成就感的来源。
What they failed to realize was that they've become trapped in the obssive prison of lf. My needs, my pain, my success, how people e me. So they continue to operate through a desire to avoid negative states and outcomes. instead of being in a limitless mindt. It's a bad deal. Here is a better deal. If our reality is indeed our thoughts, emotions and how we uniquely experience the world.
他们没有意识到的是，他们已经被困在了⾃我的强迫性牢笼中，我的需要，我的痛苦，我的成功，⼈
们如何看待我，所以他们继续以⼀种避免任何负⾯状态和后果的原则⾏事，⽽不是以⼀种真正不受限制的⼼态，这是⼀笔糟糕的交易，更好的做法应该是这样的，如果我们的现实确实是我们的思想、情感以及我们对世界的独特体验。
Then I invite you to acknowledge that there is a cond side to us. Our higher nature if you will. One that is intrinsically motivated by a desire to express excellence, confidence, being of rvice, love, creativity, courage and justice. This is the limitless aspect of our nature that is liberated from the prison of the insistent lf. And as you consistently put in the work to decouple from your inner deceivers. Integrating the practices I've shared with daily routines of meditation, journaling, prayer and reflection.
那么我希望你能够认可我们都有另⼀⾯，我们的更⾼本性，这⼀更⾼本性的内在动⼒是表达卓越、⾃信、服务他⼈、爱、创造⼒、勇⽓和正义的愿望，这就是我们本性中不受限制的⼀⾯，从固执的⾃我牢笼中解放出来的⼀⾯。当你努⼒投⼊⾏动，脱离内⼼欺骗者的掌控，将我所分享的做法与冥想、⽇记、祈祷和反思等⽇常做法相结合。
I want you to remember that each one of us has the power to operate from our higher our limitless nature. The struggle to keep them at bay is a lifelong one. But I promi you, as you distance your
illy咖啡粉怎么喝lf from the voices, your life will begin to transform. So I have a challenge for you.Seriously commit to reframing your relationship with your inner deceivers. Acknowledge they exist, be aware of them and learn to discern between rational thought and the voices of the ego. Your prison of lf, it limits you. When you break free, your thoughts become limitless. You become limitless. Thank you.
我希望你记住，我们每个⼈都有能⼒以我们更好、不受限的本性⾏事，脱离内⼼欺骗者的控制是终⾝的问题。但我向你保证，当你能够与这些声⾳保持距离，你的⽣活就将开始转变，我有⼀个挑战给你，认真地重新规划你与内⼼欺骗者的关系，承认它们的存在，意识到它们，并学会辨别理性思维和⾃我的声⾳。你的⾃我牢笼，它限制了你。当你挣脱束缚时，你的思想就不再受限，你也就不再受限。谢谢⼤家。
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翻译：AL
责任编辑：Leon Yong
