《写作160篇》大作文经典必备20篇读者习作点评（高）
2014版《写作160篇》经典必备30篇大作文读者习作点评1.社会热点类
①Nowadays fake products are becoming more and more. ②In this picture,we can e that a man is brushing a va symbolizing Shanzhai product and want（改为wants）to make it （去掉）
a fake product. ③Behind of（去掉）him, there are a lot of fake vas that have been forged by him.
sns是什么④What he think（改为thinks）is money.
①This phenonmenon（改为phenomenon）that we called Shanzhai culture is so common in our life. ②We can e cottage products（加here and there）such as cellphone, medicin
e, MP3 and so on.③Although the products means（改为mean）cheeper（改为cheaper）prices, they have a bad influence on our society. ④First of all, we can’t guareetee（改为guarantee）the quality of the cottage products. ⑤Sometimes the quality is crucial to us. ⑥An abundant of examples have proved this point. ⑦For example, fake medicine lead（改为leads）to the death of a patient （改为patients）. ⑧Besides, a lot of businessman（改为businessmen）pay more attention to profits and money（去掉）, not the quality of the products. ⑨This will ruined（改为ruin）the image of a company and make people lo faith in them, which will be a disaster to a company.
①As far as I am concerned, we should do our best to fight aginst（改为against）the cottage products, and potect the well-known product with high quality. ②At the same time, we should also have some legislations, and carry them out strictly.
原作点评
第一段点评
第一段描述简单描述图片内容：一个正在忙于制作赝品花瓶的人，满脑子想的都是钱。
②句中want应为单数。主谓一致问题；
make 后面的it去掉，直接跟名词，表示“制作”。用法错误。
③句中of 去掉，介词behind后面可直接跟him。
④句中think应为单数。主谓一致问题。
is后面加just，表示此人此刻心中只有钱，加强语气。
拒绝平庸第二段点评
第二段概述山寨产品的负面影响，不但对消费者有害，而且严重影响公司形象及客户。
③句中means主谓一致问题
⑤⑥句本身意义上联系紧密，整合成一句话意思更完整。建议改为Sometimes the quality is crucial to us, which can be improved by an abundant of examples.rain是什么意思
⑧句中money和语气并列的profits语义重复。所以去掉。
第三段点评
油菜的英文
第三段陈述自己的观点，并提出建议。
总体点评
panettone文章错误：①语法词汇：文中多次出现词汇拼写错误，及小的语法细节错误，比如主谓一致问题等。
②框架结构：作文按照题目指令要求行文，每段功能基本到位，思路清晰，个别
句子的逻辑关系还可以更紧密些。王若琳的歌
修改意见：希望在以后的写作能够细心些，尽量避免以上不必要的低级错误，提高文章质量。参考分数（满分20分）：14
①As is vividly demonstrated in this picture, we can e a heavy trafic（改为traffic）jam. ②The road in the picture is full of a lot of private cars forming a long and crowed（改为crowded）queue. ③Everyone is waiting anxiously and even some people uplift their cars and try to move on.
④This ems exaggerated, but it illustrate（改为illustrates）an （改为a）widespread and tough problem that trouble（改为troubles）many people.
①In order to tackle the problem that trafic jam brings to us, I think everyone should be involved and take the responsibility to ea the trafic jam. ②On the one hand, when we want to go out, we’d better choo public transport, not private cars, especially in peek tourist ason unless we had （改为have）some urgent things. ③As we can e some people owns（改为own）two or three cars. ④In fact one don’t（改为doesn’t）need to buy many private cars. ⑤On the other hand, the local government should try to improve traffic systems and t some traffic lines reasonably. ⑥If we all do like this, we should ea trafic jam and save some times（改为time）.
①The problem of trafic jam is so crucial and we can’t ignore it. ②If the whole society attach（attaches）high importance to it and pay（改为pays）pratical actions, as far as I am concerned, this phenomenon can be improved.
原作点评
第一段点评
第一段介绍图片内容，简述图片所揭示的现代社会交通拥堵问题的普遍想象。
④句中illustrate主谓一致问题；
lcos冠词an使用错误；
trouble主谓一致问题。
第二段点评
第二段提出解决交通问题是每个人的职责，且从两个方面阐述自己的建议。
②句中had时态错误。这句话总体时态为一般现在时，所以应保持前后统一。
③句中owns主谓一致问题。
④句中don’t主谓一致问题
⑥句中times用法错误。Time的单数形式和复数形式的意思有区别，应注意区分。
第三段点评
第三段总结文章，呼吁解决交通拥堵问题刻不容缓。
②句中attach和pay主谓一致问题。
总体点评
文章错误：①语法单词：文章中主谓一致问题多次出现，且冠词使用问题也没得到重视。
②段落功能：根据题目指令要求，文章从图片描述到详述现象再到最后总结，基
本将思想传递出来。二段在分点描述中可以尽量紧紧围绕主题，一
些解释点到为止，避免重复叙述同样的意思。做到简洁。
nsn
修改意见：在以后的写作中应多注意语法小细节，尤其是主谓已知问题，尽量培养写完后检查的习惯，将这种错误降到最低。内容部分最好可达到丰富且不罗嗦。
参考分数（满分20分）：15
2.文化交流类
流程一.老外过春节
①From this picture, we can e a chine（改为Chine）family and a foreigner are making dumplines（改为dumplings）together to celebrate the new year festival. ②How warm and peace （改为peaceful）they look like! ③However, the symbolic meaning of this picture is the culture exchanges of China and the West.
①The culture exchanges of China and the West is necessary and inevitable as every courtry wants to develop stronger and wealther. ②Nowadays, an increasing number of foreigers（改为foreigners）from the world came to china begin to study chine（改为Chine）cultures, such as chine（改为Chine）language, Lao Zi and so on. ③Chine culture has began to go abroad.
④At the same time, we chine people also go abroad to study more advanced technology and education. ⑤Deng Xiaoping has ever came up with the reform and opening policies in order to keep pace with new times. ⑥For example, in the 2013 Spring Festival Gala, we can e many famous western show（改为shows）.
①Culture exchanges of China and the West equip us with others’culture and help our country to go futher and have a further development, which can also contribute to the globlization.
