queen是什么意思
怎样写一篇作文？（3）
各位好，欢迎来到作文专栏的第三期，关于该专栏的介绍可见怎样写一篇作文？
一般来说，写作训练主要有几个要点：
1.提升语法基础
chuge2.提升用词和句型能力
3.训练逻辑思维能力
其中第三点最难，也最需要经过大量刻意训练。建议写作经常没有思路的同学平时可以多找一些作文题目想观点（如果实在想不到观点，可以上网搜一搜英文报道或者文章，看看他们是怎么写的），列出主要提纲，思考观点之间的逻辑关系，然后再对照范文，看看自己的思路是否正确。经过一两个月的训练，你的审题能力将会有很大提升。
反导数
今天要分析的作文是关于大学生住校的问题，题目是：
太原英语培训学校It is better for students to live away from home when they are at university than to live with parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
这是原始作文版本：
文/小蔡
In some countries, university students live at home, whereas in other countries university students go to other cities and do not live with family. Do you think the advantages for living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?
Being admitted to university is a step towards adulthood, which puts a high value on independence. However, in some countries, university students are opting to live with parents rather than independently living in other cities during university. I believe that the disadvantages for it outweigh the advantages when independence cultivation and social competence are taken into consideration.
Leaving the parental nest and living in the halls of residence in other cities can develop u
ndergraduates’ independence. It is becau when they move into a new environment and live away from their past support system that they are forced to become more resilient and survive independently at the university. For example, tidying up the room by themlves, washing and mending their clothes alone, doing a part-time job to pay for their own bills, maintaining good health to deal with loads of study etc. Clearly, tho chances to develop mental and behavioural independence are hard to come by through staying with parents during college.
In addition to independence fostering, boarding in the university can help students fully involved in campus life, which plays an important part in the socialization of undergraduates. In effect, leaving home to go to university is a rite of passage. Without parental prying eyes, undergraduates can freely throw themlves into activities and make friends with people from different social and cultural backgrounds. This helps undergraduates boost their confidence and develop social skills, such as teamwork and communication. In contrast, university students who live with their parents are less likely to socialize with their fellow students becau they remain in their pre-university social gr
情投意合是什么意思>today is the dayoups, and more likely to feel isolated from their peer group at the university.
沈阳英语翻译In conclusion, I am convinced that benefits for boarding university rather than living home are more significant than drawbacks, becau, for undergraduates, this is not only an opportunity to develop independence but also a process of socialization.
下面是点评版本：
Being admitted to university is a step towards adulthood, which puts a high value on independence. However, in some countries, university students are opting to live with parents rather than independently living in other cities （不一定是住在其他城市，住在本市也有可能，可以直接改成 rather than live independently）during university. （前面已经有提到 university students, 因此 during university 可以删去）I believe that the disadvantages for （介词使用有误，应改成 of）it outweigh the advantages when independence cultivation and social competence are taken into consideration.ahead是什么意思
Leaving the parental nest and living in the halls of residence in other cities （与前面的 lea
ving the parental nest 表意重复，可删去）can develop undergraduates’ independence. It is becau when they move into a new environment and live away from their past support system that they are forced to become more resilient and survive independently at the university. （survive 这个词用得有点重，整个句子可以改成 That is becau when they live away from home comfort, they have to be resilient and learn to acquire necessary life skills.）For example, tidying up the room by themlves, washing and mending their clothes alone, doing a part-time job to pay for their own （赘词，删去）bills, maintaining good health to deal with loads of study （loads of 是很口语化的表达，用在正式写作里面不合适，这里可以改成 to learn effectively）etc. Clearly, tho chances to develop mental and behavioural independence are hard to come by through staying with parents during college.
In addition to independence fostering, boarding in the university can help students get fully involved in campus life, which plays an important part in the socialization of undergraduates. （改成 developing interpersonal skills）In effect, leaving home to go to university is a rite of passage. Without parental prying eyes, （改成 without the prying ey
hernes from parents）undergraduates can freely throw themlves into activities and make friends with people from different social and cultural backgrounds. This helps undergraduates （undergraduate 在这一段重复了很多次，这里可以改成 them）boost their confidence and develop social skills, such as teamwork and communication. In contrast, university students who live with their parents are less likely to socialize with their fellow students becau they remain in their pre-university social groups, and are more likely to feel isolated from their peer group at the university.2013年大学英语四级
