1
How could we don't have the same number of containers and lids? Why would they ever get parated? Built-up rentment, money issues, met a younger lid.
Mom, where's my science homework? Uh, it's over there on the table. So, Alex, honey, what's going on? Anything exci ng? No.
- Any boys? - No.
I'm feeling a li le bit disconnected from Alex right now.
Last week, I picked up her cellphone,thinking it was mine.And I accidentally read a few flirty text messagesthat were probably from a boy in her class, which is fine.
Or they're from a dri er. Come on, isn't there something you want to share with your mommers? Yeah. Don't call yourlf "Mommers." He blew his lid when she tried to contain him. Okay. What do you think? -I like it. -But you don't love it. No, I do. I love it.
- As much as you loved the other one? - Ooh. Okay. Mm.
The hou is on fire. I only have me to grab one shirt. Which one do I take? The correct answer is take Lily. A er that.
Uh, okay, the blue one.
Becau the gray one washes me out. No, no. Cam, you -- you can't go wrong here. Everything you've tried on looks great. I love you in both of them. Oh, you're so nice to me.
Mitchell has a problem with public displays of affec on. Um, I remember once at a new year's eve party, stroke of midnight, he high-fived me. Two problems with that -- One, gays don't high-five. Two, gays don't high-five. I'm home!
Mmm, what smells so good?
怎么盒子和盖子的数量不对应呢 它们怎么会分开呢它们怎么会分开呢
可能感情不和可能感情不和 也可能经济问题也可能经济问题 还可能跟年轻的盖子跑了 妈妈妈妈 我的科学作业哪去了我的科学作业哪去了 就在那边的桌子上就在那边的桌子上
艾丽克斯艾丽克斯 宝贝宝贝 最近怎么样最近怎么样 有啥新鲜事吗有啥新鲜事吗 没有没有
-有喜欢的男孩吗有喜欢的男孩吗 -没有没有 我觉得我和艾丽克斯之间 有代沟了有代沟了
就在上周，我错拿了她的手机无意中看到几条暧昧短信 如果是她班上的某个男生干的 那也就罢了那也就罢了
就怕是哪个混混发的就怕是哪个混混发的 来嘛来嘛 你就真没啥你就真没啥 要告诉你"马马"的吗的吗 有 别自称"马马"
盒子想上盖子盒子想上盖子 盖子爆发了盖子爆发了 你觉得这件怎么样你觉得这件怎么样 -我喜欢我喜欢 -但不是特别喜欢但不是特别喜欢 谁说的谁说的 我爱死它了我爱死它了 -和刚才那件比和刚才那件比 -天 好吧好吧
房子着火了房子着火了 我只来得及拿一件衬我只来得及拿一件衬 我选谁我选谁
带上莉莉才是正解带上莉莉才是正解 那之后呢那之后呢
好吧好吧 拿蓝色的那件拿蓝色的那件 因为我穿灰色的显胖因为我穿灰色的显胖 不不不不不不 别误会别误会 小卡小卡 你不管穿什么都美翻了你不管穿什么都美翻了 两件都好搭你两件都好搭你 还是你疼我还是你疼我
米奇尔不喜欢在公众场合亲热 我记得有一年的新年派对上 零点钟声一响零点钟声一响 他和我击掌庆祝他和我击掌庆祝 两个问题两个问题
首先首先 不击掌不击掌 其次其次 不击掌不击掌 我回来啦我回来啦 烧什么呢这么香烧什么呢这么香
I'm making chunchullo, a tradi onal Colombian dish,
for dinner with the family tonight.
Chunchullo.
What is that -- like, uh, tacos?
Yes, like tacos.
No, it isn't.
- It's the small intes ne of a pig. - Oh, Geez.
Why can't we eat regular food like normal people?
I told you, Jay.
My grandmother, who rests in peace,
has been coming to me in my dreams,
telling me that I'm losing touch with my roots.
See, this is awkward,
becau my dead uncle joe told me to have steak tonight.
No, no, no, Jay. Have some respect.
My grandmother can hear you.
What do you mean, she can hear us?
Well, in our culture,
we believe that the dead are all around us.
She's right, Manny.
She could be right here,
her bony fingers reaching out from the grave.
Yeah, keep it up, Jay.
There's already one dead person in this room.
You want to make it two?
I'm sorry. I've got a printer to install.
Oh, Gloria, have your grandmother
run me up an iced tea in about 10 minutes.
Yeah, she has a be er chance of making that work than you!
Why don't you save us the stomping and the swearing and call Phil? He's good at that stuff.
Be er than me?
Phil's not be er than me at anything,
Except maybe making that stupid sound with his mouth.
A what, what
You spit on me.
Haley, honey, um, I need you to do something for me.
Ugh. Mom, my arm hurts.
Why don't you find out what it is
before you start making up excus to get out of it
Okay, what is it?
I need you to talk to your sister.
I think that there's something going on with her and a boy.
So? 我在做圈圈肉
我在做圈圈肉
哥伦比亚名菜呢
哥伦比亚名菜呢
为了今晚的家庭聚餐准备的
圈圈肉
圈圈肉
那是啥
那是啥
跟玉米卷差不多吗
跟玉米卷差不多吗
对 就跟玉米卷似的
就跟玉米卷似的
才不是呢
才不是呢
-这是猪肠做的
这是猪肠做的 -我的老天爷
我的老天爷
我们就不能像其他人一样吃正常点儿吗
我跟你说过滴
我跟你说过滴
杰
我那远在天国的奶奶
我那远在天国的奶奶
曾经托梦给我
曾经托梦给我
告诫我不要忘本
告诫我不要忘本
你看
你看
这下尴尬了
这下尴尬了
stupid是什么意思因为我死了的叔叔告诉我今晚该吃牛排
不不不
不不不
杰 放尊重点
放尊重点
我奶奶能听见你滴
我奶奶能听见你滴
什么意思
什么意思
她能听到我们吗
她能听到我们吗
是这样滴
是这样滴
在我们的文化里
在我们的文化里
我们相信死者的灵魂就在我们身边
她说的对
她说的对
曼尼
曼尼
可能现在她就在你背后
可能现在她就在你背后
从坟墓里伸出她那瘦骨嶙峋的手指
厉害哦
厉害哦
杰 继续忽悠呀
继续忽悠呀
这房子里已经有一个死人了
你也想死是哇
你也想死是哇
我错了
我错了
我去装打印机
我去装打印机
歌洛莉亚
歌洛莉亚
麻烦让你奶奶
麻烦让你奶奶
十分钟后给我拿杯冰红茶来
是啊
是啊
她要活着滴话干得比你好
你打电话给菲尔啊
你打电话给菲尔啊
省得一会你搞砸了又叫又骂 他这方面比较牛
他这方面比较牛
能有我牛
能有我牛
菲尔任何方面都没我牛
菲尔任何方面都没我牛
他也就只会怪叫啥的
他也就只会怪叫啥的
咋 咋样
咋样
你口水喷我脸上了
你口水喷我脸上了
宝贝海莉
宝贝海莉
来帮我个
来帮我个
啊 妈 我手痛
我手痛
你都不知道我找你啥事
你都不知道我找你啥事
着急编瞎话干嘛
着急编瞎话干嘛
好吧
好吧
说吧
说吧
我要你去和你妹妹谈谈
我要你去和你妹妹谈谈
我觉得她和某个男孩子有暧昧
然后
然后
So, I am your mother, and it is my job to make sure
that you girls don't get involved with a predator.
Okay, mom, stop watching "Dateline."
And why can't you just talk to her?
I have tried to talk to her.
I -- she won't talk to me. You know that.
That's becau you get so weird every me a boy comes near us. I-I just don't want you girls to --
- To make the same mistakes that you did? - No!
No.
Mom, I'm not an idiot.
I pick up on things.
And I don't think that you were the good girl
you pretend you were.
Wow. That is so untrue.
I was a very good girl. Mm.
Your kids don't need to know
They need to know who you wish you were,
and they need to try to live up to that person.
They're gonna fall short,
but be er they fall short of the fake you
than the real you.
Which is why we don't hide anything.
That's the opposite of what I just said.
I was not listening.
I'll say it again -- I love you in paisley.
Oh, let me lock the door and draw the curtains.
What does that mean?
-It doesn't mean anything. -Good.
You know exactly what it means.
You won't kiss me in front of other people
becau you're ashamed of who you are.
And, I went there.
Okay, you can't say, "Yes, I went there,"
when you go there all the me.
And, by the way, I'm the one who makes speeches on airplanes every me someone looks at us weird.
I'm the one who gives my dad hell
when he refers to you as my "Friend."
That's different. That's confronta on.
But you know what takes real strength?
Whining?
-Affec on. -Oh, this is insane.
Buying a shirt -- it's not a kiss-worthy moment. 然后
然后
我是你们的妈妈
我是你们的妈妈
确保你们不被坏蛋给剥皮吃了
得了吧
得了吧
妈妈
妈妈
别再看新闻联播了
别再看新闻联播了
你自己怎么不去和她谈
你自己怎么不去和她谈
我试过了
我试过了
她不会跟我开口的
她不会跟我开口的
你懂的
你懂的
因为一有男孩接近我们你就变得神经质 我只是不想你们这些女孩子
-重蹈你的覆辙吗
重蹈你的覆辙吗 -不是
不是
当然不是
当然不是
老妈
老妈
青岛英语家教
我又不傻
我又不傻
我看得出来
我看得出来
你可不是你口中描述的
你可不是你口中描述的
那种好女孩
那种好女孩
天哪
天哪
你大错特错了
你大错特错了
你不知道我以前有多乖
你不知道我以前有多乖
孩子不需要知道
孩子不需要知道
他们只需了解你想要的完美形象
还必须以你为榜样
还必须以你为榜样
他们可能达不到这个标准careerpath
但参照人物是虚构的完美的你
肯定比真实的你强
肯定比真实的你强
所以我们从不隐瞒
所以我们从不隐瞒
你说的和我的刚好相反
你说的和我的刚好相反
我溜号了
我溜号了
我还得说一遍
我还得说一遍
我喜欢你穿这件佩斯利 不如先关好门
不如先关好门
拉好窗帘
拉好窗帘
你什么意思
你什么意思
-什么意思都没有
什么意思都没有 -很好
很好
你当然知道我什么意思
你当然知道我什么意思
你不在别人面前亲我
你不在别人面前亲我
是因为你不能正视自己
是因为你不能正视自己
没错
没错
我就是戳你痛处了
我就是戳你痛处了
你不能拿戳我当乐事
你不能拿戳我当乐事
还企图用过去式
还企图用过去式
再说了
再说了
每次飞机上有人对咱们另眼相待 可都是我站出来教育他们
我爸爸说你是我"朋友"的时候
的时候
也是我跟他挑明挖烂了理论
那不一样
那不一样
那是正面冲突
那是正面冲突
但你知道什么才最需要勇气吗
抱怨吗
抱怨吗
-是表达爱意
是表达爱意 -受不了了
受不了了
买衬衫有什么可亲的
买衬衫有什么可亲的
Oh, I didn't know there was an official list. Plea, tell us -- what is on the list?
I'll tell you what's not on the list --
Finding jalapeno-stuffed olives,
making the light on maple,
every me we e a V.W.
You don't like "Kiss-buggy"?
It's not a real game!
It -- it's just another way for you to be needy.
I -- and I don't appreciate you making me feel bad becau I can't live up to your impossible standards.
Nobody kiss at a bowling alley!
I almost got a turkey!
"Yello"?
Oh, hey, Jay. Just a c. I'll go get Claire.
Oh, actually, it's you I'm calling.
What was that?
The cat. There's a cat. What's up?
Well, Gloria's been missing her grandmother.
I've been trying to get this old picture of her printed,
but I can't get this new printer to --
I'll be right there.
Luke, grandpa needs us!
Hells yes, I was glad to get the call.
Jay's always around here fixing things,
cracking jokes about my "Delicate hands"
or my gag respon to the smell of paint.
Look who needs me now
Mr. Hot-dog fingers who can't press "Print"
without hi ng three extra keys.
Yeah!
You're in my hou now, Jay!
T-technically, we'll be in his hou,
but we'll be in
of his hou.
So, I hear you have a boyfriend.
- No, I don't. - Who is he?
- I'm not talking to you about this. - Oh, come on.
You're finally interes ng. Just tell me.
He's not my boyfriend.
It's Jeremy Reed.
It's -- he's just this boy that I --
- Love? - No!
Well, have you guys kisd yet? 我不知道这还有官方规定
求你
求你
告诉我
告诉我
什么时候能亲
什么时候能亲
我告诉你什么时候不亲吧
吃了夹辣椒的橄榄
吃了夹辣椒的橄榄
给枫树挂灯泡的时候
给枫树挂灯泡的时候
看到大众车的时候也不亲
你不喜欢玩"亲亲甲壳虫"[看到大众甲壳虫车就亲亲] 那根本就不是游戏
那根本就不是游戏
那不过是你黏人的一种方式
你可别想把我搞得很内疚
因为我可达不到你那离谱的标准
没人在保龄球馆接吻
没人在保龄球馆接吻
我差点打出三击全中
我差点打出三击全中
侬好
侬好
你好
你好
杰 等下
等下
我找克莱尔去
我找克莱尔去
其实我找你
其实我找你
什么声音
什么声音
是猫
是猫
有只猫
有只猫
什么事
什么事ned rocknroll
歌洛莉亚很想念她的外婆
我一直想打印出一张她的照片
但是新的打印机
但是新的打印机
pick的过去式我...
我马上到
我马上到
卢克
卢克
外公需要我们
外公需要我们
接到电话
接到电话
我当然很高兴
我当然很高兴
杰总来我家修东西
杰总来我家修东西
嘲笑我柔弱的双手
嘲笑我柔弱的双手
还有我一闻油漆就吐
还有我一闻油漆就吐
看看谁来求哥了
看看谁来求哥了
"手好粗"先生每次想按打印键
先生每次想按打印键
他那胖手都会多按好几个按钮
真菜
真菜
你可是在我的主场
你可是在我的主场
杰
准确的说
准确的说
我要去他的地盘迎战
我要去他的地盘迎战
但是他的地盘
但是他的地盘
哥做主
哥做主
我听说你有男朋友了
敬爱的拼音我听说你有男朋友了
-哪有
哪有 -他是谁
他是谁
-我才不告诉你呢
我才不告诉你呢 -说吧
说吧
你总算有点八卦可挖了
你总算有点八卦可挖了
快说呗
快说呗
他不是我男友
他不是我男友
他叫杰里米·瑞德
他叫杰里米·瑞德
不过是个男孩
不过是个男孩
我...
-爱他
爱他 -没有
没有
你们接吻了吗
你们接吻了吗
No!
Well, what are you wai ng for?
I'm not wai ng. I'm 13.
And you've never kiss boy?
How old were you?
Like 11.
And it was beau ful.
I was in Jackson Kaner's carpeted garage.
- 11? - Yeah.
So you be er get on it,
or el he's gonna think you're a lesbian.
He's not going to think I'm a lesbian.
I thought you were.
You totally have the sandals for it.
Let's e this bad boy.
Oh, a P-750. Nice unit.
I would have sprung for the 840,
But I get it --
not everyone can handle that kind of horpower.
I thought maybe the cordless phone was interfering,
so I unplugged it.
Good idea. Maybe we should run downstairs
and unplug the toaster while we're at it.
Oh, snap, dad.
Toaster.
We're kidding.
A cordless phone is 5.8 gigahertz. This is wi-fi.
It's a totally different spectrum.
Walk with me?
Here's a li le trick that I've found pre y uful with Claire. The computer and the printer must talk, talk, talk command-p" Makes the picture walk, walk, walk"
How come it's not working?
It should be.
Okay.
Uh, that should be prin ng.
<
Hey, Phil, I'm gonna get a beer, beer, beer
Before I hit you in the head, head, head.
Hey. What are you doing here?
Hi, Jeremy. I want to ask you something.
- Sure, ask - Wait, don't talk yet.
ady2Here is the thing.
We've tex ng for a while, and it's been nice, 没有
没有
那你等什么呢
那你等什么呢
我没等
我没等
人家才13岁
你还没亲过男生
你还没亲过男生
你初吻什么时候
你初吻什么时候
11岁的时候吧
岁的时候吧
唯美极了
唯美极了
是在杰克逊·肯纳家铺了地毯的车库里
-11岁 -是啊
是啊
你最好也抓紧
你最好也抓紧
要不然他会觉得你是拉拉
他才不会认为我是拉拉
他才不会认为我是拉拉
我就以为你是
我就以为你是
你那凉鞋很拉拉
你那凉鞋很拉拉
我们来看看出了什么问题
P-750型 不错
不错
要是我
要是我
会选840那款
那款
但是我知道
但是我知道
不是谁都能玩转这种高级货的
我以为是无线电话干扰了信号
我就给它拔了
我就给它拔了
好主意
好主意
也许我们应该下楼
也许我们应该下楼
把面包机也拔了
把面包机也拔了
幽默啊
幽默啊
老爸
老爸
面包机
面包机
开玩笑
开玩笑
无线电话是5.8千兆赫
千兆赫
这个是无线网络
这个是无线网络
用的不是一个频谱
用的不是一个频谱
跟我来
跟我来
教克莱尔使用电器的时候
教克莱尔使用电器的时候
纸牌屋第二季字幕我发明了个小诀窍
我发明了个小诀窍
电脑和打印机必须要交流老公用英语怎么说
仓木麻衣孙燕姿电脑和打印机必须要交流
流 流
command+p[苹果快捷键] 图片就出来了
图片就出来了 了 了 好像没反应啊
好像没反应啊
不应该啊
不应该啊
好吧
好吧
应该开始打印了
应该开始打印了
应该是...
菲尔
菲尔
在打的你头头头之前
在打的你头头头之前
我要先喝杯啤酒酒酒
我要先喝杯啤酒酒酒
嘿 有事吗
有事吗
杰里米
杰里米
我有问题想问你
我有问题想问你
-好 问 -等等
等等 你先别出声
你先别出声
是在这么回事
是在这么回事
我们短信已经发了一段时间了 这样挺好
这样挺好
