How having kids can ruin your romantic relationship
英语图表作文Lots of women look forward to motherhood -- getting to know a tiny baby, raising a growing child, developing a relationship with a maturing son or daughter. All over the world, people believe that parenting is the most rewarding part of life. And it's good that so many mothers treasure that bond with their child, becau the transition to parenthood caus profound changes in a woman's marriage and her and not for the better.
Families usually welcome a baby to the mix with great expectations. But as a mother's bond with a child grows, it's likely that her other relationships are deteriorating. I surveyed decades of studies on the psychological effects of having a child to write my book "Great Myths of Intimate Relationships: Dating, Sex, and Marriage," and here's what the rearch literature shows.
Nowhere to go but down?英汉互译器
optical是什么意思When people marry, they're usually in love and happy to be tying the knot. But after that, thi
ngs tend to change. On average, couples' satisfaction with their marriage declines during the first years of marriage and, if the decline is particularly steep, divorce may follow. The cour of true love runs downhill. And that's before you factor in what happens when it's time to start buying a carat and diapers.
Wedding bells or single again: psychology predicts where your relationship is headed
For around 30 years, rearchers have studied how having children affects a marriage, and the results are conclusive: the relationship between spous suffers once kids come along. Comparing couples with and without children, rearchers found that the rate of the decline in relationship satisfaction is nearly twice as steep for couples who have children than for childless couples. In the event that a pregnancy is unplanned, the parents experience even greater negative impacts on their relationship.
The irony is that even as the marital satisfaction of new parents declines, the likelihood of themdivorcing also declines. So, having children may make you mirable, but you'll be mirable together.
Wor still, this decrea in marital satisfaction likely leads to a change in general happiness, becau the biggest predictor of overall life satisfaction is one's satisfaction with their spou.
While the negative marital impact of becoming parents is familiar to fathers and mothers, it is especially insidious becau so many young couples think that having children will bring them clor together or at least will not lead to marital distress. Yet, this belief, that having children will improve one's marriage, is a tenacious and persistent myth among tho who are young and in love.
Lovers morph into parents
参照物It ems obvious that adding a baby to a houhold is going to change its dynamics. And indeed, the arrival of children changes how couples interact. Parents often become more distant and businesslike with each other as they attend to the details of parenting. Mundane basics like keeping kids fed, bathed and clothed take energy, time and resolve. In the effort to keep the family running smoothly, parents discuss carpool pickups and gro
hotpursuit
情人节 英语cery runs, instead of sharing the latest gossip or their thoughts on presidential elections. Questions about one's day are replaced with questions about whether this diaper looks full.
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The changes can be profound. Fundamental identities may shift -- from wife to mother, or, at a more intimate level, from 末端lovers to parents. Even in same-x couples, the arrival of children predicts less relationship satisfaction and x. Beyond xual intimacy, new parents tend to stop saying and doing the little thingsthat plea their spous. Flirty texts are replaced with messages that read like a grocery receipt.
As gatekeepers, moms hold keys to shared parenting duties
With nearly half of all births being to unmarried couples (PDF), some parents may think they have gamed the system by skipping the wedding. Not so. The relationship burden of having children is prent regardless of marital status, gender orientation or level of income. In addition, the adver impact of becoming a parent is found in other countries, including tho with greater rates of nonmarital parenting and more generous family polici英国金融时报
es.
Moms bear the brunt
marangoniNot surprisingly, it is mothers, not fathers, who bear the heaviest cost of becoming parents. Even when both parents work outside the home and even in marriages in which both spous describe themlves as sharing the burden of houhold chores, most parents slide towardgender-stereotypical ways of parenting. Women are more likely to become the "on call" parent, the one who gets up in the night to bring a child a tissue or who's called by the school nur.
