Hello, darling. Good Cabinet meeting?
- Hmm.
- Good Cabinet meeting, darling?
饮食养生汇
- I want a triple Scotch!
- As bad as that? Why?
The financial crisis is much wor than
we thought. All the Cabinet must make cuts.
- Bernard, would you like a Scotch?
- Yes, a large one, plea.
Humphrey should have en this coming.
I don't think he understands
Economics. He did read Classics.
Sir Frank is head of the Treasury.文化与社会
He's at an even greater disadvantage in
understanding Economics. He's an economist.
- Can't they e there's got to be cuts?
- In other departments, not in their own!
So you ordered a clampdown?
- I can't do that. I'm only the Prime Minister.
- But you're in charge.
A leader can only lead by connt,
connsus. That's democracy.
-
So who IS in charge?
- Nobody, really.
- Is that good?
- It must be. That's what democracy is about.
And I've got a deputation of MPs coming
to e me about a pay ri I promid them.
- What will you say?
- That I deeply sympathi. I don't.
That they fully derve it. Not true.
And that I shall make it my first priority
as soon as the crisis is over. I shan't.
If they vote themlves
a whacking great pay ri,
it doesn't do very much for the
dignity of Parliament. It doesn't.
- Are they underpaid?
- Underpaid?! Backbench MPs?
Being an MP is a vast,
subsidid ego trip.
You need no qualifications, no compulsory
hours of work, no performance standards.
A warm room and subsidid meals for a bunch
of lf-opinionated windbags and busybodies
who suddenly find people taking them riously
becau they've got "MP" after their names!
How can they be underpaid when there's
about 200 applicants for every vacancy?
You could fill every at 20 times
over even if they paid to do the job!
You were a backbench MP only 5 years ago.
I was the exception.
I was the cream. I ro to the top.
- Do you think you'll shut them up?
-
Who knows?
The public will never stand for an MPs' pay
ri when we cut back on nurs and teachers.
Oh, that's a much more rious problem.
No, darling, much LESS rious. They can't
vote against me till the next election.
Backbenchers can do it
at 10 o'clock tonight.
Humphrey, I've just had a very
stormy meeting with my backbenchers!
- I'm so sorry.
-
If I had warning, I'd have softened them up.
- Papers only arrived the night before Cabinet!
- Most regrettable.
It's up to you, Humphrey. You must insist
that we get papers circulated earlier.
Alas, there are grave problems in
circulating papers before they are written.
Why the sudden crisis?
- Prime Minister, you must ask Sir Frank.
- What would Sir Frank say?
It is not for a humble mortal such as I
to speculate on the complex and
elevated deliberations of the mighty,
but, in general, I think Sir Frank believes that
if the Treasury knows something must be done,
the Cabinet shouldn't have
time to think about it..
Outrageous!
- Yes, indeed. It's known as Treasury pol
icy.
- Suppo the Cabinet has questions?
His view is on the rare occasions when
the Treasury understands the questions,
the Cabinet doesn't
我没有钱
understand the answers.
- Do you subscribe to that view?
- I, Prime Minister,
I merely try to carry out your wishes.
I wish that in future all Cabinet papers
be circulated at least 48 hours in advance.
- Would you tell Sir Frank?
- Yes, of cour.
I shall ek an audience
with him at once. Thank you.
Who does Frank think he is? At
least Old Humpy knows his place.
It was very loyal of him to tell me the truth.
They usually all stick together, don't they?
He's rather anxious becau of your threat to
make Sir Frank head of the home Civil Service.
Of cour. I wonder if I
should do something about that.
Or if there isn't something to be gained
out of keeping them both in suspen.
You gain an anxious Cabinet
Secretary. Is that what you want?
<
He wasn't just unhappy
about the cuts, Frank.
He was very unhappy about your
papers arriving at such short notice.
I hope you explained it was
becau of America's policy change.
My dear Frank, I defended you gallantly,
leaving the Prime Minister in
no doubt as to the real cau.
Oh, good. Thanks.
- I'll need his goodwill.
- Why?
We shall obviously have to bring
in some form of pay restraint.
The problem is, the MPs are
being denied their pay ri
just as we bring forward the
孩子哭闹怎么办propod Civil Service pay ri.
- Ah. That's an awkward one.
-
Yes.
- One isn't interested
- Of cour not.
But one does owe it to one's junior
colleagues. Ironic, isn't it, Frank?
Trying to help them involves raising our own
salaries, which we don't care about at all.
And then we get accud of
feathering our own nests!
That's just another cross we have to bear.
Yes. Envy, pure envy.
You'd better get that proposal in
fast before the pay restraint begins.
The night before next Thursday's Cabinet.
We can't let Ministers spend
two days talking about it.
They'll come up with stupid objections!
And try to delay it
until the pay restraint.
Mm. Do you think it's all right to
bounce the Cabinet two weeks running?
- No alternative. - I-I-I
was thinking, Humphrey.
Perhaps it would be better if
the proposal came from both of us.
- Both of us?
- Well, we are joint heads of the Civil Service.
Not as I understand it, Frank.
- Oh, I think so, effectively.
- I think not, effectively.
I look after the financial side
and you the establishment side.
But, Frank, with respect, the Cabinet Secretary
is the de jure head of the Civil Service.
With respect, Humphrey, the Cabinet Secretary
and the Permanent Secretary to the Treasury
are de facto joint heads
of the Civil Service.
Be that as it may, Frank, we
can't put up the proposal together.
pharaohI must remain aloof and judicial.
You must make the running. After weighty
consideration, I will come down on your side.
All right. One
We don't want Cabinet
t
o adjudicate on this.
- They must refer it to an impartial committee.
- Who should chair it?
- What about Professor Welsh?
- That silly old buffer?!
- That silly old buffer.
日记题目大全- Why?
He's asked me to put him forward as the next
chairman of the University Grants Committee.
脂肪肝能吃猪肝吗He's desperate for the job, so he'll
understand what's required of him.
What an excellent choice.
Humphrey, I'm astonished.
The Treasury has just cancelled half our
spending plans due to the financial crisis
and now they have the temerity to put
forward a plan for a Civil Service pay ri!
And you're bouncing it through Cabinet!
I wanted all papers circulated 48 hours in
advance. Do you think I'm a complete idiot?
It is not for me to speak for Sir Frank.
I'm asking you. Speak for yourlf.
You're head of the Civil Service.
- Am I indeed? How gratifying!
- For the moment.
As Cabinet Secretary, I am most
eager to reduce public spending,
荒僻的意思but as head of the Civil Service I'm responsible
for the real dangers that ari administratively
if a pay ri does not come through very soon.
It's so difficult for me. I'm wearing two hats.
Yes, isn't that rather awkward for you?
Not if one is in two minds.
Or has two faces.
Perhaps I should relieve
you of one of them?
- Oh, no, no, no. I'm perfectly happy with both.
- Faces?
Hats!
You e, Prime Minister, the problem is that
low morale will lead to the danger of a strike.
Think of the effect of
that on the social rvices.
And we are already experiencing
difficulties in recruitment.
- 10 applicants for every vacancy?
- Yes, but the applicants are very low quality.
With very few First Class degrees.
Most have Lower Seconds.
I got a Third.
That's all right for Prime Ministers.
Sir Humphrey means civil rvants.
The point is, I couldn't get this through.
There's already a backbench revolt looming.
MPs will never agree to a pay ri for civil
rvants. And the Cabinet will be hostile.
May I suggest that we just ask the Cabinet
merely to agree to look at the application?
Then we'll put the matter before
an independent group of asssors.
- Who would lead the asssors?
- There's a very good man I could recommend.
Professor Welsh. Very sound,
very nsible, very careful.
I heard he was a silly old buffer.
I can't imagine who could
possibly say such a thing!
Since the most nior grades of the
rvice really bear the heat of the battle,
they should receive the greatest increa.
Seems very fair to me.
- So this would be the scale.
- Right.
- I haven't en this, by the way.
- Of cour not. Most improper.
Quite. Well, they're very significant
increas for Under Secretaries,
Deputy Secretaries and, um,
tho of us who, um...
Exactly.
About 43%.
- Alas.
- But no more than we've earned.
I take it this paper
is not for submission.
My dear Humphrey, tho
are the submission papers.
Oh, yes.
- It only goes up to Appendix K.
- Sorry. Six more to follow.
Oh! N
o danger of their
wading through all tho.
Where's the one-page
summary for the Cabinet?
The Janet and John bit?
Here it is.
It's more or less the same as last
time. Comparable jobs in industry.
- On who salary are the comparisons bad?
- The directors of BP and IBM, naturally.
You don't think that might be challenged
as untypical and above average?
No. Of cour, we don't mention them by
name. Just "typical industrial firms".
Then we take our own examples of increas
from the lowest point of the incremental scale.
- As before.
-
Principal examples are there at the end.
3.50 a week for a mesnger.
4.20 for a registry clerk.
8.20 for a scientific
officer. Hardly anything.
So it would be 26,000
a year extra for us?
More or less.
- You haven't mentioned that, I hope.
- My
Frank, you don't think there's a danger
that someone might go into this in detail?
- Not that there's anything wrong with it.
- But who? Ministers are only briefed by us.
We're all loyal members of the rvice.
Yes. I'll get it in last item
before lunch on the Cabinet's agenda.
- They won't spend more than 5 minutes on it.
- Plain sailing.
Apart from the rigorous
scrutiny of Professor Welsh.
Your Chief Political
Advisor is on the phone.
Thank you. Put Dorothy?
I'm doing a paper on this Civil Service pay
claim, but I can give an immediate respon.
- Yes, plea. What's your answer?
- It's a ries of questions.
- For me?
- For Sir Humphrey.
The claim is lf-rving and inappropriate,
and significant for what it leaves unanswered.
- Right. Fire away.
-
You should treat this as highly confidential.
First of all, you should
ask
<
Triffic!
Oh, George, that's for you, I think.
All right for me to go in, Bernard?
Uh, yes. Sir Humphrey, can
I just mention one thing?
Yes, Bernard?
- There has been movement.
-
On what subject?
On a subject we hoped for no movement.
The Civil Service generally hopes there
will be no movement on any subject!
Uh, yes, what I mean is it's in relation to a
subject that is normally wholly and exclusively
within the control of the Civil Service
that developments have developed.
- You're speaking in riddles!
- Oh, thank you.
That was NOT a compliment, Bernard!
Make yourlf clear, plea.
I'm sorry, Sir Humphrey,
my lips are aled.
I am referring to minutes that I was duty
bound to make of a confidential conversation
between the Prime Minister and an advisor.
- Which advisor?
- I cannot divulge her name.
Thank you, Bernard. And this confidential
advice was to do with the financial crisis?
- No, much more important.
-
Not his silly nuclear strategy?
- Much more important.
- You don't mean the Civil Service pay claim?!
I e. What do you advi, Bernard?
I advi you consider your position carefully,
perhaps adopting a more flexible posture,
while keeping your ear to the ground,
covering your retreat and watching your
rear.
Thank you, Bernard.
You've been a great help.
Actually, I haven't told you anything.
- I should hope not. That's most improper.
- Prime Minister, Sir Humphrey's here.
Flexible.
- Ah, Humphrey! Come in.
- Thank you, Prime Minister.
Tell me what you think of this.
What do you make of it?
- It is rather large for instant
judgement. - Only read the one-page summary.
- Ah. Oh, good.
-
Well?
Well?
Prime Minister, you place me
in a very difficult position.
Do I, Humphrey? You have to have loyalty to
your colleagues, but also to Cabinet policies.
- I agree.
- You agree?
- Yes.
- With me?
- I agree with you.
-
I...ah... I Who do you agree with?
- With you.
- Not with Sir Frank?
- No.
- You're not arguing with me?
No.
Perhaps I haven't made mylf quite clear.
I agree with you!
Well, what do you make of that pay claim?
Well, it's not excessive in itlf,
but at a time of national stringency it is
neither wi nor in the national interest.
I don't like to critici
my colleague,
In my view, Sir Frank, though no
doubt acting from the best of motives,
should have placed the good of the nation
before the narrower interests of civil rvants.
You e, this claim
rais rious questions.
That's interesting. I've made
a note of some questions, too.
Good questions. Where did they come from?
- Oh, occurred to me.
- Yes.
VERY good questions.
Yes, that's what I
thought. What should we do?
- We should ask them.
- Ask who?
Sir Frank. You ought to invite
him here to discuss them.
He may well know the answers.
Indeed, he should know them.
That's his job, after all.
Yes. Thank you. Arrange that, Bernard.
I must say I appreciate your impartiality.
You'd gain quite a lot yourlf
if it were to go through.
Well, I suppo so, Prime Minister,
but I e the rewards of
this job as
.. that we've been of rvice to the nation, not
to ourlves. Don't you agree, Prime Minister?
-
I agree. Thank you, Humphrey.
- Thank you, Prime Minister.
- Humphrey's very fair-minded,
isn't he? - Oh, yes, Prime Minister.
If there were a conflict of interests,
which side are the Civil Service really on?
The winning side, Prime Minister.
Ah, thank you, Billy. It was very painful
for me not to be able to support Frank's ca.
- Deeply distressing.
- But he was going to lo.
And that Wainwright female had suggested
that they stop us handling our own pay claims
and let a Select Committee decide on them!
Appalling! Next thing you'd have is
politicians removing civil rvants
on the grounds of incompetence!
The thin end of the wedge.
Arnold, I need your help. Clearly,
Frank's claim is discredited,
but I need to get us the pay
ri to consolidate my position.
What did you do?
- You say Frank ud the normal formula?
- That's right.
- And you need 43%. Hm.
- Thereabouts.
Well, since virtually all the
relevant staff work in London,
start with a big increa in
