TED演讲系列文稿---如何更好的讨论爱情
（曼迪*兰*凯特论）
英语版；
人寰是什么意思英语状语从句Ok,so today I want to talk about how we talk about love .And specifically,I want to talk about what’s wrong whit how we talk about love.
Most of us will probably fall in love a few times over the cour of our lives,and in the English language,this metaphor,falling,is really the main way what we talk about that experience. I don ’t know how about you ,but when I conceptualize this metaphor what I picture is straight out of a cartoon,like this is a man ,he’s walking down the sidewalk ,without realizing it ,he cross over an open manhole,and he just plummets into the wer below. And I picture it this way becau falling is not jumping . falling is accidental,it’s uncontrollable, it’s something that happens to us without our connt .
And this , this is the main way we talk about starting a new relationship.I am a writer and I’m also an English teacher, which means I think about words for a living. You could say that I get paid to argue that the language we u matters,and I would like to argue that many of the metaphors we u to talk about love,maybe even most of them are a problem. So ,in love ,we fall,we struck,we are crushed,we swoon .We burn with passion. Love makes us crazy,and it makes us sick.our hearts ache ,and then they break .So our metaphor equate the experience of loving someone to extreme violence or illness .They do. And they position us as the victims of unforeen and totally unavoidable circumstances of unforeen and totally unavoidable circumstances.
My favorite one of the is “smitten气功修炼’’ which is past participle of the word “smite’’.And if you look this word up in the dictionary, you will e it can be defined as both “grievous affliction” and “ to be very much in love .’’ I tend to associate the word “smite” with a very particular context, which is the old testament .In the Book of Exodus alone ,there are 16 references to smiting,which is
the word that the Bible us for the vengeance of an angry God. Here we are using the same word to talk about love that we u to explain a plague of locusts.Right?太上老君是谁
So,how did this happen? How have we come to associate love with great pain and suffering ? And why do we talk about this ostensibly good experience as if we are victims? The a difficult questions,but I have some theories. And to think this though, I want to focus on one metaphor in particular ,which is the idea of love as madness. When I first started rearching romantic love ,I found the madness metaphor everywhere. The history of western culture is full of language that equates love to mental illness. The are just a few example.William Shakespeare; ‘’Love is merely a madness,口算题卡三年级上册”from “As you like it“ Friedrich Nietzsche; “There is always some madness in love. “Got me looking ,got me looking so crazy in love” from the great philosopher,Beyonce Knowles.
我家是个动物园 I fell in love for the first time when I was 20, and it was a pretty turbulent relationship right from the start . And it was long distance for the first couple of ye
ars,so for me the meant very high highs and very low lows. I can remember one moment in particular. I was sitting on a bed in a hostel in South America, and i was watching the person I love walk out the door .And it was late, it was nearly midnight,we’d gotten into an argument over dinner,and when we got back to our room,he threw his things in the bag and stormed out . While I can on longer remember what that argument was about, I very clearly remember how I felt watching him leave. I was 22,it was my first time in the developing world, and I was totally alone . I had another week until my flight home, and I knew the name of the town that I was in, and the name of the city that I needed to get to fly out, but I had no idea how to get ground. I had no guidebook and very little money,and I speak no Spanish. Someone more adventurous than me might have en this as a moment of opportunity, but I just froze. I just sat there. And then I burst in to tears.But despite my panic,some small voice in my head thought, “Wow. That was dramatic. I must really be doing this love thing right.” Becau some part of me wanted to feel mirable in love. And is sounds so strange to me now ,but at 22, I longed to h
ave dramatic experiences,and in that moment, I was irrational and furious and devastated, and weirdly enough,I thought that this somehow legitimized the feelings I had for the guy who had just lest me . I think on some level I wanted to feel a little bit crazy, becau I thought that was how love worked.This really should not be surprising, considering that according to Wikipedia, there are eight films, 14 songs, two albums and one novel with the title “Crazy Love.” About half an hour later ,he came back to our room. We made up. We spent another mostly happy week traveling together. And then ,when I got home, I thought, 戚风蛋糕烤多久“That was so terrible and so great. This must be a real romance.”
I expected my first love to feel like madness, and of cour,it met that expectation very well, But loving someone like that as if my entire well-being depended on him loving me back was not very good for me.of for him. But I suspect this experience of love is not that unusual. Most of us do feel a bit mad in the early stages of romantic love. In fact,there is rearch to confirm that this is somewhat normal, becau ,neurochemically speaking, romantic love and mental illness are not that
easily distinguished. This is truce .This study form 1999 u blood tests. To confirm that the rotonin levels of the newly in love very cloly rembled the rotonin levels of people who had been diagnod with obssive-compulsive disorder. Yes,and low levels of rotonin are also associated with asonal affective disorder and depression. So there is some evidence that love is associated with changes to our moods and our behaviors.
油泼白菜And there are other studies to confirm that most relationships being this way . Rearchers believe that the low levels of rotonin is correlated with obssive thinking about the object of love, which is like this feeling that someone has up camp in your brain.And most of us feel this way when we first fall in love. But the good news is , it doesn’t last that long usually from a few months to a couple of years. When I go back from my trip to South America, I spent a lot of time alone in my room, checking my email, desperate to hear from the guy I loved. I decided that if my friends could not understand my grievous affliction, then I not need their friendship. So i stopped hanging out with most of them. And it was probably the m
ost unhappy year of my life. But I think I felt like it was my job to be mirable, becau if I could be mirable,then I would prove how much I loved him. And if could prove it,then we would have to end up together eventually. This is the real madness, becau there is no cosmic rule that says that great suffering equals great reward ,but we about love as if this is true.
