5 ntence conciness
Unit 6
Sentence Conciness and Clarity
Conciness ? using words economically and eliminating wordiness ?
is fundamental to good writing. Look at the following ntences: In the month of May people of different professions from all circles in this city will hold meetings to elect reprentatives, and the reprentatives will go to Beijing, the capital, in October to attend a national congress of model workers from the whole country.
In the month of May can be shortened to In May without any loss of meaning; of different professions and from all circles mean the same thing,
so only one of them is needed; hold meetings can be omitted becau it
is not important; the important thing is that they will elect reprentatives; who can be ud in place of the reprentatives; the can be omitted; national and from the whole country are synonymous, capital
so the phra can be deleted:
In May people of different professions in this city will elect reprentatives, who will attend a national congress of model workers in Beijing in October.
The number of words is reduced by half, but the meaning of the new ntence is the same as that of the original one.
We write ntences to express ideas. The u of words in a ntence, therefore, is decided by the idea it express. Needless words do not
help express ideas; on the contrary, they obscure the meaning and
confu the reader. So one of the rules of ntence-making is to u
only the necessary words, or as few words as possible so long as the meaning is fully expresd. But often we tend to put a superfluous word here and there in a ntence. This habit may come from the way we talk.
It is common in speaking to repeat a word, u words of similar meaning together, and change word
s we have said and even the structure of a ntence in the middle of it. But we should not do so in writing. This
is possible becau when we write we have time to check what we have written and delete all the words that are not needed for the expression
of ideas, or to make our ntences conci. In order to be conci in
your writing, plea obrve the following guidelines:
1. U a pronoun instead of repeating a noun.
Sample 1
Wordy More Conci
The factory bought 2 imported The factory bought 2 imported machines.
machines. They broke down the next day.
The two machines broke down the next day.
2. U a word instead of a phra with the same meaning, and u a phra instead of a clau with the same meaning.
Wordy More Conci
Sample 2
the man with ambition the ambitious man
Sample 3
the class showing the best-performing class
the best performance
Sample 4
The article, which has been published The recently published article recently is instructive. is instructive.
Sample 5
the idea that is most interesting the most interesting idea
*Now I 'd like you to know some common circumlocutions that can be simplified into one word:
the reason for, for the reason that,owing/due to the fact that, in light of the fact that, considering the fact that, on the grounds that, this is why
=becau, since, why
on the occasion of, in a situation in which, under circumstances in which
=when
as regards, in reference to, with regard to, concerning the matter of, is concerned
=about
it is crucial that, it is necessary that, there is a need/necessity for, it is important that
=must, should
is able to, has the capacity for, has the ability to =can
it is possible that, there is a chance that, it could happen that, the
possibility exists for
=may, might, could
Wordy More Conci
Sample 6
It is possible that nothing will come of Nothing may come of the the experiments. experiments.
Sample 7
She has the ability to influence the She can influence the election.
election.
Sample 8
It is necessary that we look into this We must look into this hot issue.hot issue.
3. If not for the sake of special emphasis, do not repeat words or phras
in a ntence or in one that follows.
Sample 9
Wordy More Conci
Tom has a sister. Tom has a sister.
Tom's sister is a nur. She is a nur
Do not u different words or phras with similar meanings in the same
ntence.
Wordy More Conci
Sample 10
His wife considered the refrigerator an His wife considered the unneeded luxury. refrigerator a luxury.
*Redundant Pairs
Many pairs of words have similar implications. Finish implies complete,
is redundant in most cas. Here are some so the phra completely finish
others (words in brackets can be omitted): (past) memories, (various) differences, (each) individual, (basic) fundamentals, (true) facts, (important) esntials, (end) result, (final) outcome, (free) gift, (past)
history, (unexpected) surpri.
*Redundant Categories
Specific words imply their general categories, so we usually don't have to state both. We know that a period is a gment of time, and that pink
