读后续写练习写作讲析：Erica and the Necklace
Erika and the Necklace
Erika and her little sister Beth sneaked into their mommy’s room. “I’m just going to try on some jewelry,” said Erika. She took a necklace and tried to put it on her neck. “Oh, no,’ said Beth. “Mommy doesn’t like us playing with her stuff.” “Okay, you be the lookout,” instructed Erika. “Stand by the door and let me know if Mommy comes up the stairs.”
Before Beth got to the door, Bouncer, the family’s Bernedoodle dog, bounded into the room and almost knocked Erika down. The necklace went flying. It had barely hit the floor when Bouncer bit it and raced off.
“Bouncer! Bouncer!” yelled Erika. “Beth, help me get the necklace back.” The girls were hot on Bouncer’s tail. “Stop!” they yelled. Bouncer dashed down the stairs and into the living room. He stopped just long enough for the girls to get clo to him. Then off he went. “Stop!” yelled Erika. “Beth, you go the other way. We’ll corner him in the dining room.”
Erika met Beth in the dining room. Sure enough, Bouncer was there waiting for them. He was down low on his front legs with his tail in the air, ready to play. “Grab him!” screamed Erika.
Just as Beth was about to grab him, Bouncer took off. He whizzed（嗖地移动）by Beth and Erika. “Stop, you troublemaker!” yelled Erika as she raced after him. The girls were getting clo again, but Bouncer zoomed down the bament stairs. The girls raced after him. “I don’t e him,” said Beth. Erika scratched her head. “He’s got to be down here. He’s hiding.”
Just then Mom called to the girls. “Erika, what’s all the noi? What’s wrong? I heard you from the yard.” “Uh, oh,” whispered Erika. “Uh… nothing’s wrong,” she shouted.
Beth dashed up the stairs. Erika heard her telling Mom everything. “That blabber mouth（多嘴的人）,” said Erika under her breath.
注意:
1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右；
2. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好。
Paragraph 1:
“ERIKA!” said Mom. “Up here right now.”
Paragraph 2:
Mom and Beth followed her into the bament（地下室）,Erika carrying the snacks.
写作解析
读后续写题目为Erica and the Necklace。题源网站上有对该文的一些简单的要素归纳，它的文体是pro，主题是realistic fiction，写作技巧涵盖了theme, summary, context clues。事实上pro的文体是个非常大的概念，内涵很丰富，有兴趣的可以自行查阅。
这个故事从文章意义上属于生活小品文，该类型文章中高考真题中也有出现，比如2020年
1月浙江首考A Puppy for Poppy，以及2021年1月浙江首考的“南瓜套头”，其内容都是记录家庭生活，平淡简约，没有跌宕起伏的情节设想，只有清新简单的文字记录。
巧合的是，这次的考题也是和一条狗有关。所不同的是，这次的文章语言相对比较口语化，语句比较随性，简单和随性是两个不同的概念。我们可以追求简单的表述，但是随性的文字就要看场合。如果只是一种真实的记录，类似于我们有的家长喜欢记录他孩子的语言，然后发在朋友圈上共享，这无可厚非，直接引语记录孩子的语言，只为轻松幽默一把，这样的随性未尝不可。但是换若考场作文，随性的文章无法获得阅卷老师的欣赏，高深的文章却又无法体现语言的协同，这就让学生陷入了两难的境地。
故事概述
文章讲述了女孩Erika偷拿了她妈妈的项链，刚想戴在脖子上的时候家里的狗Bouncer闯了进来，抢走了项链。两姐妹于是赶紧去追，但狗比较灵活，窜到了地下室，此时妈妈听到了嘈杂声，便来过问究竟发生何事？妹妹Beth把经过都告诉了她。于是便有了第一段的Erika! Up here right now. 从感叹号和简单的命令式语言，我们可以感知妈妈起初听到这个事肯定是很生气的。考生们要思考的是母亲如何回应这件事，Erika又是如何来进行挽救的？
从原文黄色标注的语言中，大量的使用直接引语进行记录，有很多都是非常口语化的表达，如oh, no...what's what'Uh, oh...Uh...nothing'等等假如有学生遵循语言协同的原则，他便会大量采用类似的语言。然而我们也清楚的知道，考场作文如果写成这样，那分数可能会低的可怜。好的学生自然不可能甘心这样去完成一篇文章的创作，于是他就会按照他的手法去写，但同时其作品和原文放在一起，又给人以“两张皮”的感觉。
前文像是话剧，学生的续写作品则成了歌剧。
比如这篇学生作品，用语是非常讲究且精妙的，但他完全无视前文的风格，自立门户地进行了创作。
“ERIKA!” said Mom. “Up here right now.” Head lowered, eyes nailed to the ground, Erika dragged herlf up the stairs, feeling her legs as heavy as lead. “S...sorry..”, Erika stuttered, with a n of remor interwoven with trepidation surging up her heart, whereas the imminent scold didn’t descend on her. She gingerly lifted her sight, and what
leapt into her eyes was mother’s reassuring smile. “Why not come up with a plan?” Erick’s inner fear was soothed by the note or compensate for the trouble she made. Time ticking away, it was when the fabulous idea struck her that she dashed to the kitchen and blurted out “the snack!”, ecstasy bubbling in her voice.
Mom and Beth followed her into the bament, Erika carrying the snacks. The tantalizing aroma of the freshly-baked snacks pervaded the bament, eming to beckon Bouncer to go out. The re-kindled hope in her mind nearly extinguished when Erika caught sight of the very tail in the air. Here it is! Intrigued by the snack, the infuriating troublemaker eventually reluctantly threw the necklace away, gorging on the feast. Getting the necklace back, Erika heaved a sigh of relief, who was once trapped in sheer agitation and frustration. Surprisingly, mom put the necklace on her neck, “It’s the reward for your courage to shoulder responsibility and brilliance to make up for your mistakes.” Erika cracked an innocent smile, and the nerve-racking problem finally turned into a meaningful lesson.
于是我们可以看到续写这道题目，虽然它采用类似于跷跷板的原理使英语学习者在阅读后通过续写来达成与原作者的水平相当，但另一方面这道题也因其文体的限制和语言风格的单一而落入俗套，这个套子会使考场作文陷入千篇一律的尴尬境地。
