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I’ve noticed that conversations with my children have started to turn into something that I don’t like. It could be my fault. I don’t always think before I open my mouth.
For example, my kids would call me to tell me about something that’s been bothering them. Then, as soon as they’re finished, I go into mom mode (模式). I can’t help it. It’s my default tting (默认设置).
“You should …”, “You need to consider …”, “Have you thought of …”, “If I were you, I’d …”
“Mom!”
The tone (语气) is full of frustration and annoyance. The meaning is obvious –“Stop!”
I am the queen of unwanted advice. When I get one of my adult kids on the phone, I become an expert on everything and anyt hing, which I’m obviously not.
I want to be part of their lives. More importantly, I want to prevent them from making mistakes that em so obvious to me.
But they just want a listening ear and an open heart.
I’m hardly alone in this. Over lunch the other day, a friend told me that her son rarely listened to anything she said. “It’s like talking to a wall,” she added.
I know that feeling all too well. But I’m learning – very slowly – that talking at is not the same as talking with.
Giving advice to children can be full of problems. Though we may e ourlves sharing the wisdom (智慧) of our years, they e something el. They e a controlling parent who hasn’t accepted the fact that they’re adults with their own thoughts and feelings.
They’re no t looking for any tips or hints (暗示). They may not even want an immediate (立刻的) solution to a difficult problem. What they’re hoping for is a safe place to talk with a person who loves and supports them no matter what.
Becau of this, I’ve given mylf th e goal of becoming a better parent by being a better listener. It’s not an easy task for parents like me who think they’re just being helpful. But I’m determined, I’m strong.
Summary writing 概要写作
Plea write a summary of the article in about 60 words.
参考范文：I often give unwanted advice to my kids. I can’t help going into mom mode every time they call me. But I have realized that what they want is a listening ear and an open heart. So now I’m determined to be a better parent by being a better listener.
