我只希望朱莉贝克能离我远点|All I ever wanted was for Juli Baker to leave me alone.
故事始于一年级暑假 1957年的夏天|It all began in the summer of 1957, before the start of cond grade.
我们到家啦|Here we are.
你们觉得这里怎么样? 我挺喜欢的|What do you guys think? I like this place.
很赞呢 我的房间是什么颜色?|It's cool. Uh, what color is my room?
别急嘛|Just you wait.
咱们进去瞧瞧 嘿 布莱斯|Let's e what's inside. Hey, come on, buddy Bryce.
过来给我搭把手搬东西|Why don't, uh, you and I go help unload the van
让姑娘们去整理厨房吧|and the womenfolk here can get in the kitchen and start tting up.
好的 老爸|Okay, Dad.
于我而言 这意味着我从此步入了|For me, it was the beginning of what would be
长达五年的不安与逃避生涯|more than half a decade of strategic avoidance and social discomfort.
嗨 我是朱莉贝克 喂喂喂 你干嘛呢?|Hi, I'm Juli Baker. Hey, hey, what are you doing?
要我帮忙吗?|Don't you want some help?
不必了 那里面都是贵重物品|No. There's some valuable things in ther中国党史
e.
那我就搬这个吧 不用了|How about this one? No, no, no.
赶紧回家吧 你妈妈没准在找你呢|Run home. Your mother's probably wondering where you are.
没关系 我妈妈知道我在哪 她同意我过来|Oh, no, my mom knows where I am. She said it's fine.
显然这姑娘也太不识趣了|It didn't take long to realize this girl could not take a hint.
咱们仨在这儿有点挤吧 不要紧啊|It's crowded in here with three people. I don't mind.
毫无自知之明 我们一起推吧?|Of any kind. You wanna push this one together?
布莱斯 你妈妈还等着你去帮忙吧?|Bryce, isn't it time for you to go help your mother?
是啊是啊|Oh, yeah.
我真是拿她没辙|I mean, nothing would stop her.
我终于忍无可忍 这时候诡异的事情却发生了|I was about to tell her to get lost when the weirdest thing happened.
我真是难以置信|I couldn't believe it.
我居然会牵着陌生女孩的手|There I was holding hands with this strange girl.
我咋就惹上了这种麻烦? 你好呀|How did I get into this mess? Well, hello.
看来你已经认识我儿子了|I e you've met my son
我不得不使出7岁男生仅有的气概|Finally, I did the only manly thing available when you're 7 years old.
然而 还有一大串的麻烦等着我|However, my troubles were far from over.
就在我走进叶尔森老师的教室时|The minute I walked into Miss Yelson's classroom
布莱斯? 你也在这啊|Bryce? You're here.
很显然|it was clear:
即使在学校 也无法逃脱她的魔掌|School would not be a sanctuary.
嘿 布莱斯 你女朋友呢?|Hey, Bryce, where's your girlfriend?
枉我一世英名啊|I was branded for life.
嘿 布莱斯 你咋不向她求婚呢?|Hey, Bryce, why don't you ask her to marry you?
布莱斯和朱莉爬上树梢|Bryce and Juli sitting in a tree
卿卿我我甜如蜜|K-l-S-S-l-N-G
搬来镇上的第一年简直就是场灾难|My first year in town was a disaster.
瞧那小两口呀|Look at them.
接下来的三年也不尽如人意|And the next three weren't much better.
就这么捱到了六年级 我总算不再坐以待毙|But finally, in the sixth grade, I took action.
想到了一个大狠招|I hatched the plan.
雪利|Sherry.
雪利 等一下|Sherry, wait up.
嗨 布莱斯|Hi, Bryce. Heh.
我向雪利斯道尔斯展开攻势|I asked out Sherry Stalls.
我想问你愿不愿意...|I was wondering if you wanted to go
这个招数的绝妙之处在于|To full appreciate the brilliance of this plan
雪利斯道尔斯是朱莉的眼中钉|you have to understand that Juli hated Sherry Stalls
但我始终想不通其中的缘由|though I never understood why.
雪利长发飘飘 为人和善|Sherry was nice, friendly and she had a lot of hair.
我妈之前一直不让我打耳洞 后来我拼命求她|At first, my mother wouldn't let me get my ears pierced, but I begged
我原本一心指望 只要和雪利吃吃饭|The idea was that Sherry would eat with me
散散步 就能让朱莉知难而退|maybe we'd walk ar五行属木的行业
ound together, and hopefully Juli would lo interest.
她还是不允许我16岁前打耳洞|But I still can't get the hoops till I'm 16.
太可惜了|Oh, that's a shame.
米娜妮也想打耳洞|So Melanie wanted to get her ears pierced,
但她老妈也不是省油的灯|but of cour her mother said no.
她就在家大发雷霆|So she threw a fit
把约翰尼马蒂斯的精选辑给砸了|and smashed her Johnny Mathis Greatest Hits album
结果就被禁足了|and she got grounded,
连我的睡衣派对都来不了|so now she can't come to my pajama sleepover party.
事情进展相当顺利|Things were unfolding quite nicely.
你的科学实验打算怎么做?|What are you doing for your science project?
直到我所谓的挚友加利特埃恩德|That is, until my suppod best friend, Garrett Einbinder
开始打起了雪利的主意|took an interest in Sherry himlf.
我想展示各种护发素|I was thinking of showing how split ends react
如何修复头发分叉|with different hair conditioners.
太棒了|That's fascinating.
俗话说得好 重色必轻友 加利特这个叛徒|Loyalty gave way to desire and Garrett, the turncoat
向雪利全盘托出我的计划|told Sherry what I was up to.
混蛋|Jerk.
她自然很是生气|She didn't take it well.
至于朱莉|Word got back to Juli,
她自然又开始对我故技重施|and pretty soon she started up with the goo-goo eyes again.
而且还变本加厉|Only this time it was wor.
居然开始嗅我|She started sniffing me.
你没听错 她居然用鼻子嗅我|That's right, sniffing me.
搞什么飞机啊?|What was that all about?
我只能期望来年能摆脱魔掌|My only consolation was that next year would be different.
但愿升入初中后|Junior high, bigger school.
不用再和她同班|Maybe we'd be in different class
