以下是高考英语作文精选及其教师点评,学习一下这篇作文的有点吧!
Live in Harmony
Nowadays the government and people of China are trying to build a country with a harmonious relationship. Generally speaking, the relationship between us students and our family members, classmates as well teachers is good. However, there exist some problems. Some students in our grade are easy to lo their temper becau of unbearable anxiety and heavy study burden. What’s wor, they sometimes quarrel with others, and even turn a deaf ear to their parents and teachers, which is very disappointing.
In my opinion, we middle school students should make our efforts to improve the situation. First, we should respect our parents and teachers as well as our classmates. Second, when we are not feeling good, we can chat with our friends, teachers and parents. It is likely that they can understand us better and give us some reasonable advice. Third, after a day’s hard work, we can relax ourlves by taking some exerci, such as playing basketball, table tennis and so on. The most important is to create a harmonious atmosphere around us in order to realize lf-harmony.
教师点评:本篇作者以大见小的写作手法紧密联系实际,清晰的结构,入理的描述,准确的用词,都说明它是一篇不错的范文。
1) 内容要点齐全。作者巧妙地分析了周围环境的不和谐现象,并且提出创造和谐氛围的途径,富有见地,富有哲理。作者首先总结出学生与家庭成员以及班级同学在关系处理上总体是好的,但也存在着一些问题并很自然地引出问题所在,然后话锋一转,提出自己的观点:学生应该如何改变这种状况。作者在写作中适当增加了细节,使文章内容更为充实,表达更为具体,给读者以清晰的印象。最后用一句话总括主题:创造和谐氛围,创建和谐校园。整篇文章读起来要点清晰,归纳有序,让读者一目了然。
2) 语言使用准确性高,较好地使用了英语的各种句型,琅琅上口,英语味道浓厚。作为对当前社会问题的论述,时态的把握特别重要,写作时应以一般现在时为主。另外要能正确地列举事例,有些同学列举时,容易前后不一致,开始时用firstly, condly,后来就变成了third。还要注意的是标点应用准确,逗号、句号的使用要恰如其分,使名层次结构清晰,句意明了,有效的避免汉语句式的简单罗列、词语堆砌。
3) 语言的连贯性强,非常出现地使用了连接词,使全文的结构紧凑,层次清楚,过渡自然。比如使用了如however, what’s wor, generally speaking, in my opinion等连接词,使文章衔接自然、生动。
4) 这篇范文较好地使用了较为复杂的词汇和高级句型,并运用了同位语,插入语以及非限制性定语从句。As well as, lo their temper, turn a deaf ear to, make our efforts to , chat with, quarrel with, create a harmonious atmosphere等词组应用及It is likely that 句型,which is very disappointing非限制性定语从句,relax ourlves by taking some exerci中非谓语动词的使用无不为文章增添了亮点。
高考英语作文精选及其教师点评就为大家呈现到此,希望可以取长补短,各取所需!
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