英语小品幽默经典十则

2024年3月21日发(作者：凌炜)

英语小品幽默经典十则

（一）成功法则

Young doctor: Well, Dad, now that I'm hanging out my shingle, can you give me some rules for success?

Father: Always write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills very plainly.

年轻的医生：哦，爸，现在我都挂牌开诊了，你能给我些成功法则吗？

父亲：总是把药方写的难以辨认，而账单却清清楚楚。

（二）She Didn’t Say Anything

A mother and son were washing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the room.

Suddenly, there was a crash of breaking dishes, then complete silence.

The girl looked at her father and said, “It was Mom”。

“How do you know?” asked her father.

“She didn’t say anything.”

（三） I Have Turned It Over

A woman said to her husband, “dear, look at our sheet! It’s too dirty. Would you like to wash it now?”

The man looked at the sheet and then thought for a while and then said, “I don’t think it’s necessary.

We can turn the sheet over. Is that all right?”

（四） Improvement

One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"

"Fine. I ud to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who

can't understand me."

（四）进步

一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”

“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。”

（五）Half or Five Tenths?

Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?

Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.

Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.

Gerald: Becau you lo too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.

（五）半个还是十分之五

老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘？

杰拉得：我宁可要半个。

老师：仔细想想，说出理由来。

杰拉得：因为你如果把柑橘切成十分之五，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。

（六）When Do People Talk Least?

Student A: When do people talk least?

Student B: In February.

Student A: Why?

Student B: Becau February is the shortest month of a year.

（六）人们什么时候说话最少？

学生甲：人们在什么时候说话最少？

学生乙：在二月。

学生甲：为什么呢？

学生乙：因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。

（七）Lightning

Teacher: Why is it said that lightning never strikes the same place twice?

Roy: Becau after it's struck once the same place isn't there any more!

（七）闪电

老师：为什么说闪电从来不会两次击中同一个地方？

罗伊：因为它击中一个地方一次以后，那个地方就不存在了。

（八）The Climate of New Zealand

Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?

Matthew: Very Cold, sir.

Teacher: Wrong.

Matthew: But, sir! When they nd us meat it always arrives frozen!

（八）新西兰的气候

老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样？

马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。

老师：错了。

马修：可是，先生！从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。

（九）My Sister's Fingers

Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?

Kevin: Plea sir, I bruid two fingers knocking in a nail at home.

Teacher: I don't e any bandages.

Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.

（九）我妹妹的手指头

老师：凯温，这次你怎么又迟到了？

凯温：对不起，老师，我在家钉钉子，砸坏了两个手指头。

老师：怎么没有扎绷带呀？

凯温：噢，砸的不是我的手指头，我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。

（十）Who Discovered Australia?

Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny.

Johnny: It's there, sir.

Teacher: That's right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia?

Sammy: Johnny, sir.

（十）谁发现了澳大利亚？

老师：约翰尼，在地图上给我找出澳大利亚在什么地方。

约翰尼：先生，在这儿。

老师：对了。萨默，你来回答我是谁发现了澳大利亚？

萨默：先生，是约翰尼。