TED演讲哈佛⼤学：幸福是什么？
演说者：Robert Waldinger
演说题⽬：幸福是什么？
幸福是什么？⾦钱，名望，或者成就感？哈佛⼤学开展了⼀次史上对成⼈发展研究最长的⼀次研究项⽬：从1938年开始，⾄今75年间，他们跟踪记录了724位男性，从少年到⽼年，年复⼀年地询问和记载他们的⼯作、⽣活和健康状况等，这个项⽬⾄今还在继续中。
春怨金昌绪What keeps us healthy and happy as we go through life? If you were going to invest now in your future best lf, where would you put your time and your energy? There was a recent survey of millennials asking them what their most important life goals were, and over 80 percent said that a major life goal for them was to get rich. And another 50 percent of tho same young adults said that another major life goal was to become famous.
在我们的⼈⽣中是什么让我们保持健康且幸福呢？如果现在你可以为未来的⾃⼰投资，你会把时间和精⼒投资在哪⾥呢？最近在千禧⼀代中有这么⼀个调查，问他们⽣活中最重要的⽬标是什么，超过80%的⼈说：最⼤的⽣活⽬标就是要有钱。还有50%的年轻⼈说，另⼀个重要的⽣活⽬标就是要出名。
And we're constantly told to lean in to work, to push harder and achieve more. We're given the impression that the are the things that we need to go after in order to have a good life. Pictures of entire lives, of the choices that people make and how tho choices work out for them, tho pictures are almost impossible to get. Most of what we know about human life we know from asking people to remember the past, and as we know, hindsight is anything but 20/20. We forget vast amounts of what happens to us in life, and sometimes memory is downright creative.
⽽且我们总是被灌输要投⼊⼯作、要加倍努⼒、要成就更多。我们被灌输了这样⼀种观念，只有做到刚才说的这些，才能有好⽇⼦过。要⼈们纵观整个⼈⽣，想象各种选择，以及这些选择最终导致的结果，⼏乎是不可能的。关于⼈的⼀⽣，我们能了解到的，⼤部分都是通过⼈的回忆得来，但众所周知，⼤部分都是事后诸葛。⼀⽣中，我们会忘记很多发⽣过的事情，⽽且记忆常常不可靠。
But what if we could watch entire lives as they unfold through time? What if we could study people from the time that they were teenagers all the way into old age to e what really keeps people happy and healthy?
但如果我们可以从头到尾地纵观⼈的⼀⽣呢？如果我们可以跟踪研究⼀个⼈，从他少年时代开始，⼀直到他步⼊晚年，看看究竟是什么让⼈们保持快乐和健康呢？
We did that. The Harvard Study of Adult Development may be the longest study of adult life that's ever been done. For 75 years, we've tracked the lives of 724 men, year after year, asking about their work, their home lives, their health, and of cour asking all along the way without knowing how their life stories were going to turn out.
我们做到了。哈佛⼤学（进⾏的）这项关于成⼈发展的研究，可能是同类研究中耗时最长的。在75年时间⾥，我们跟踪了724个⼈的⼀⽣，年复⼀年，了解他们的⼯作、家庭⽣活、健康状况，当然，在这⼀过程中，我们完全不知道他们的⼈⽣，将⾛向何⽅。
Studies like this are exceedingly rare. Almost all projects of this kind fall apart within a decade becau too many people drop out of the study, or funding for the rearch dries up, or the rearchers get distracted, or they die, and nobody moves the ball further down the field. But through a combination of luck and the persistence of veral generations of rearchers, this study has survived.
像这样的研究少之⼜少。像这样的项⽬⼏乎都会在10年内终⽌，因为有许多⼈会中途退出，或者是研究资⾦不⾜，或者是研究者转换⽅向，或者去世，然后项⽬⽆⼈接⼿。但感谢幸运⼥神的眷顾，和⼏代研究⼈员的坚持不懈，这个项⽬存活下来了。
一支粉笔两袖清风
公交车上进入About 60 of our original 724 men are still alive, still participating in the study, most of them in their 90s. And we are now beginning to study the more than 2,000 children of the men. And I'm the fourth director of the study.
⽬前这724⼈中仍有60⼈在世，仍然在参与研究，⼤多数⼈已经90多岁了。现在我们已经开始研究他们的⼦孙后代，⼈数多达2000多⼈。我是这个项⽬的第四任负责⼈。
数多达2000多⼈。我是这个项⽬的第四任负责⼈。
Since 1938, we've tracked the lives of two groups of men. The first group started in the study when they were sophomores at Harvard College. They all finished college during World War II, and then most went off to rve in the war. And the cond group that we've followed was a group of boys from Boston's poorest neighborhoods, boys who were chon for the study specifically becau they were from some of the most troubled and disadvantaged families in the Boston of the 1930s. Most lived in tenements, many without hot and cold running water.
从1938年起，我们开始跟踪两组⼈的⽣活。第⼀组加⼊这个项⽬的⼈，当年在哈佛⼤学上⼤⼆。他们在⼆战期间⼤学毕业，⼤部分⼈都参军作战了。我们追踪的第⼆组⼈，是⼀群来⾃波⼠顿贫民区的⼩男孩，他们之所以被选中，主要是因为他们来⾃20世纪30年代波⼠顿最困难、最贫困的家庭。⼤部分
住在廉价公寓⾥，很多都没有冷热⽔供应。
When they entered the study, all of the teenagers were interviewed. They were given medical exams. We went to their homes and we interviewed their parents. And then the teenagers grew up into adults who entered all walks of life. They became factory workers and lawyers and bricklayers and doctors, one President of the United States. Some developed alcoholism. A few developed schizophrenia. Some climbed the social ladder from the bottom all the way to the very top, and some made that journey in the opposite direction.
在加⼊这个项⽬时，这些年轻⼈都接受了⾯试。接受了⾝体检查。我们挨家挨户⾛访了他们的⽗母。然后这些年轻⼈长⼤成⼈，进⼊到社会各个阶层。成为了⼯⼈、律师、砖匠、医⽣，还有⼀位成了美国总统。有⼈成为酒⿁，有⼈患了精神分裂。有⼈从社会最底层⼀路青云直上，也有⼈恰相反，掉落云端。
The founders of this study would never in their wildest dreams have imagined that I would be standing here today, 75 years later, telling you that the study still continues. Every two years, our patient and dedicated rearch staff calls up our men and asks them if we can nd them yet one more t of questions about their lives.
这个项⽬的创始⼈们，可能做梦都不会想到，75年后的今天，我会站在这⾥，告诉你们这个项⽬还在继续。每两年，我们耐⼼⽽专注的研究⼈员，会打电话给我们的研究对象，问他们是否愿意，再做⼀套关于他们⽣活的问卷。
Many of the inner city Boston men ask us, "Why do you keep wanting to study me? My life just isn't that interesting." The Harvard men never ask that question.
那些来⾃波⼠顿的⼈问我们，“为什么你们⼀直想研究我？我的⽣活是很⽆趣的。”但哈佛的⼈从没这样问过。
To get the clearest picture of the lives, we don't just nd them questionnaires. We interview them in their living rooms. We get their medical records from their doctors. We draw their blood, we scan their brains, we talk to their children. We videotape them talking with their wives about their deepest concerns. And when, about a decade ago, we finally asked the wives if they would join us as members of the study, many of the women said, "You know, it's about time."
为了更好地了解这些⼈的⽣活，我们不光给他们发问卷。我们还在他们家客厅采访他们。从他们医⽣那⼉拿病历。抽他们的⾎，扫描他们的⼤脑，跟他们的孩⼦聊天。我们拍摄下他们和妻⼦谈话的场景，聊的都是他们最关⼼的问题。⼤约在10年前，我们终于开⼝问他们的妻⼦，是否愿意加⼊我们的
研究，很多⼥⼠都说，“是啊，终于轮到我们了。”
So what have we learned? What are the lessons that come from the tens of thousands of pages of information that we've generated on the lives? Well, the lessons aren't about wealth or fame or working harder and harder. The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.喝酒后头痛怎么缓解
那么我们得到了什么结论呢？那长达⼏万页的数据记录，记录了他们的⽣活，我们从这些记录中间，到底学到了什么？不是关于财富、名望，或更加努⼒⼯作。从75年的研究中，我们得到的最明确的结论是：良好的⼈际关系能让⼈更加快乐和健康。就这样。
We've learned three big lessons about relationships. The first is that social connections are really good for us, and that loneliness kills. It turns out that people who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community, are happier, they're physically healthier, and they live longer than people who are less well connected. And the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic. People who are more isolated than they want to be from others find that they are less happy, their health declines earlier in midlife, their brain functioning declines sooner and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely. And the sad fact is that at any given time, more than one in five Americans will report that they're lonely.
they're lonely.
关于⼈际关系，我们得到三⼤结论。第⼀，社会关系对我们是有益的，⽽孤独寂寞有害健康。我们发现，那些跟家庭成员更亲近的⼈，更爱与朋友、与邻居交往的⼈，会⽐那些不善交际、离群索居的⼈，更快乐，更健康，更长寿。孤独寂寞是有害健康的。那些“被孤⽴”的⼈，跟不孤单的⼈相⽐，往往更加不快乐，等他们⼈到中年时，健康状况下降更快，⼤脑功能下降得更快，也没那么长寿。可惜的是，长久以来，每5个美国⼈中就⾄少有1个声称⾃⼰是孤独的。
And we know that you can be lonely in a crowd and you can be lonely in a marriage, so the cond big lesson that we learned is that it's not just the number of friends you have, and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship, but it's the quality of your clo relationships that matters. It turns out that living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health. High-conflict marriages, for example, without much affection, turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps wor than getting divorced. And living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective.
⽽且即便你⾝在⼈群中，甚⾄已经结婚了，你还是可能感到孤独，因此我们得到的第⼆⼤结论是：不是你有多少朋友，也不是你⾝边有没有伴侣，真正有影响的是这些关系的质量。整天吵吵闹闹，对健康是有害的。⽐如成天吵架，没有爱的婚姻，对健康的影响或许⽐离婚还⼤。⽽关系和睦融洽，则对我们的健康有益。
Once we had followed our men all the way into their 80s, we wanted to look back at them at midlife and to e if we could predict who was going to grow into a happy, healthy octogenarian and who wasn't. And when we gathered together everything we knew about them at age 50, it wasn't their middle age cholesterol levels that predicted how they were going to grow old. It was how satisfied they were in their relationships. The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.
长白山北景区
当我们的研究对象步⼊80岁时，我们会回顾他们的中年⽣活，看我们能否预测，哪些⼈会在⼋九⼗岁时过得快乐健康，哪些⼈不会。我们把他们50岁时的所有信息进⾏汇总分析，发现决定他们将如何⽼去的，并不是他们中年时的胆固醇⽔平。⽽是他们对婚姻⽣活的满意度。那些在50岁时满意度最⾼的⼈，在80岁时也是最健康的。
And good, clo relationships em to buffer us from some of the slings and arrows of getting old. Our most happily partnered men and women reported, in their 80s, that on the days when they had more physical pain, their mood stayed just as happy. But the people who were in unhappy relationships, on the days when they reported more physical pain, it was magnified by more emotional pain.
另外，良好和亲密的婚姻关系，能减缓衰⽼带来的痛苦。参与者中那些最幸福的夫妻告诉我们，在他们80多岁时，哪怕⾝体出现各种⽑病，他们依旧觉得⽇⼦很幸福。⽽那些婚姻不快乐的⼈，⾝体上会出现更多不适，因为坏情绪把⾝体的痛苦放⼤了。
And the third big lesson that we learned about relationships and our health is that good relationships don't just protect our bodies, they protect our brains. It turns out that being in a curely attached relationship to another person in your 80s is protective, that the people who are in relationships where they really feel they can count on the other person in times of need, tho people's memories stay sharper longer. And the people in relationships where they feel they really can't count on the other one, tho are the people who experience earlier memory decline.
关于婚姻和健康的关系，我们得到的第三⼤结论是，幸福的婚姻不单能保护我们的⾝体，还能保护我们的⼤脑。研究发现，如果在80多岁时，你的婚姻⽣活还温暖和睦，你对⾃⼰的另⼀半依然信任有加，知道对⽅在关键时刻能指望得上，那么你的记忆⼒都不容易衰退。
And tho good relationships, they don't have to be smooth all the time. Some of our octogenarian couples could bicker with each other day in and day out, but as long as they felt that they could really count on the other when the going got tough, tho arguments didn't take a toll on their memories.
⽽反过来，那些觉得⽆法信任⾃⼰的另⼀半的⼈，记忆⼒会更早表现出衰退。幸福的婚姻，并不意味着从不拌嘴。有些夫妻，⼋九⼗岁了，还天天⽃嘴，但只要他们坚信，在关键时刻，对⽅能靠得住，那这些争吵顶多只是⽣活的调味剂。
So this message, that good, clo relationships are good for our health and well-being, this is wisdom that's as old as the hills. Why is this so hard to get and so easy to ignore? Well, we're human. What we'd really like is a quick fix, something we can get that'll make our lives good and keep them that way. Relationships are messy and they're complicated and the hard work of tending to family and friends, it's not xy or glamorous. It's also lifelong. It never ends.
所以请记住，幸福和睦的婚姻对健康是有利的，这是永恒的真理。但为什么我们总是办不到呢？因为我们是⼈类。我们总喜欢找捷径，总想⼀劳永逸，找到⼀种⽅法，解决所有问题。⼈际关系⿇烦⼜复杂，与家⼈、朋友相处需要努⼒付出，⼀点也不⾼⼤上。⽽且需要⼀辈⼦投⼊，⽆穷⽆尽。
员工手册The people in our 75-year study who were the happiest in retirement were the people who had actively worked to replace workmates with new playmates. Just like the millennials in that recent survey, many of our men when they were starting out as young adults really believed that fame and wealth and high achievement were what they needed to go after to have a good life. But over and ov
er, over the 75 years, our study has shown that the people who fared the best were the people who leaned in to relationships, with family, with friends, with community.
在我们长达75年的研究中，那些最享受退休⽣活的⼈，是那些主动⽤玩伴来替代⼯作伙伴的⼈。就像开头我说过的千禧⼀代⼀样，我们跟踪研究的很多⼈在年轻的时候坚信名望、财富和成就是他们过上好⽇⼦的保证。但在75年的时间⾥，我们的研究⼀次次地证明，⽇⼦过得最好的，是那些主动与⼈交往的⼈，与家⼈、朋友或者邻居。
公共管理类
So what about you? Let's say you're 25, or you're 40, or you're 60. What might leaning in to relationships even look like?
那么你们呢？也许你现在25岁，或者40岁，或者60岁。怎样才算主动与⼈交往呢？
复合维生素b片
Well, the possibilities are practically endless. It might be something as simple as replacing screen time with people time or livening up a stale relationship by doing something new together, long walks or date nights, or reaching out to that family member who you haven't spoken to in years, becau tho all-too-common family feuds take a terrible toll on the people who hold the grudges.
嗯，我想有很多种⽅法吧。最简单的，别再跟屏幕聊天了，去跟⼈聊天，或者⼀起尝试些新事物，让
关系恢复活⼒⼀起散个步呀，晚上约个会呀，或者给多年未曾联系的亲戚打个电话，因为这种家庭不和睦太常见了，但它带来的伤害⼜很⼤，尤其对那些喜欢⽣闷⽓的⼈来说更是如此。
I'd like to clo with a quote from Mark Twain. More than a century ago, he was looking back on his life, and he wrote this: "There isn't time, so brief is life, for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account. There is only time for loving, and but an instant, so to speak, for that."
我想引⽤马克•吐温的⼀段话来作为结束。⼀个多世纪前，他回⾸⾃⼰的⼈⽣，写下这样⼀段话：“时光荏苒，⽣命短暂，别将时间浪费在争吵、道歉、伤⼼和责备上。⽤时间去爱吧，哪怕只有⼀瞬间也不要辜负。”
The good life is built with good relationships.Thank you.
美好⼈⽣，从良好的⼈际关系开始。谢谢⼤家。
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