英语短文故事
短文一:
The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, "Now I'll show you this frog in my pocket." He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a cond, thought deeply, and said,
"That's funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch."
短文二：
During the heat of the space race in the 1960s, the U.S. National Aeronautics and Space Administration decided it needed a ball point pen to write in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules. After considerable rearch and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of approximately $1million U.S.
The pen worked and also enjoyed some modest success as a novelty item back here on earth.
班队工作计划
The Soviet Union, faced with the same problem, ud a pencil.
短文三：
When I take a long time, I am slow.
治疗肝病的药When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.
When I don't do it, I am lazy.
When my boss doesn't do it, he is too busy.
When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart.
When my boss does the same, that is initiative.
班会记录内容
When I plea my boss, I am ass-kissing.
When my boss pleas his boss, he is co-operating.
I do good, my boss never remembers.
首乌的功效When I do wrong, he never forgets.
短文四：
An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in
prison. The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up the garden.
He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!"
At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns.
Confud, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.
His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."
短文五:
One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."
The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?"
The little girl replied, "My homework."
短文六：
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den（私室，贼窝） . What is the big brass gong（锣） and hammer for? one of his friends asked. That is the talking clock, the man replied. How's it work?
Watch, the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!
学者古今异义
短文七：
On her return from school，little Dolly，aged ten，was pulled on to her Daddy's knee，and informed that the fairies had that day brought a big surpri a little baby brother．She e med glad，and prently said： 结构面试
“Will you give me a stamp，daddy？I want to write and tell brother Tom．”
The father was touched by this，and provided the little lass with the materials to write a letter to her brother，who was away at school．Later，curious to know how she would tell the news，he took an opportunity to read what she had writen．He received something of a shock on reading the following：
“Dear Tom， It's come off today．You've lost；it's a boy．”
短文八：
One evening，in the midst of dinner preparation，our 10 yearold daughter asked，“Mom
模式英语my， what's puberty？”My wife was rushed at the moment，so she suggested that Peggy look up the word in the dictionary，after which they could talk about it．
A few minutes later，Peggy returned．Her mother asked what the dictionary had said．“Puberty means，”announced Peggy，“the earliest age at which a girl is able to bear children．”
“What do you think of that？” my wife asked．
“I'm not sure，” Peggy replied．“I've always been able to bear children．It's adults I can't bear．”
短文九：兰州旅游景点大全介绍
There was a small boy who had been given a little terrier for his very own，on which he bestowed the name of Paddy，and loved mightily．He was very saddened by the fact that he could not take his pet away with him on his holidays，which he was spending with some relatives in the country．
Whilst he was away Paddy's young life was cut short by an unfortunate adventure with a motor．The boy's mother feared he would take the news very hardly on his return；she broke it very gently，therefore，and was rather surprid that the little lad did not em much perturbed．Later，however，she heard him weeping lustily in his bed．He was inarticulate with grief，but his brother explained that he was crying“about Paddy”．
