220 Born Free
Carol: It's your turn to take out hey! You know you can't listen in when Dad talks with one of his mental patients.
Ben: He's not talking to a mental patient! It's Mom.
Carol: Well that's probably wor. You still shouldn't snoop.
Ben: It's juicy stuff.
Carol: Ben you
Ben: It's about Mike.
Mike: Hey! I e Ben's been into the goofy glue again, huh?
Ben: Ssshh. Mike we've got to warn you before it's too late.
Mike: What?
Carol: For five Bucks.
Ben: Yeah.
Mike: What? You guys think I'm stupid just becau I'm related to you?
Carol: Ok. Well it's your funeral.
Mike: Alright, alright, alright I owe you five Bucks. What is it?
Ben: Your report card came in the mail today.
Mike: Oh no!
Ben: That's what Dad said.
Mike: How bad can it be?
Ben: Dad says you're this clo to becoming a "good-for-nothing bum!"
Mike: Ok, just tell 'em you haven't en, ok?
Carol: Oh, wait a minute. There's the little matter of the five Bucks.
Ben: Yeah.
Mike: Try and collect.
Ben and Carol: Hi Mike!!!!! It's good to e you home Mike!!!!
Jason: Don't you go anywhere. Your mom and I will wanna have a word with you in a few minutes!
战友聚会
Mike: Ok. Now was it really really worth it, to ll your own brother out for a mere five Dollars? Ben and Carol: Oh yeah! definitely!
Maggie: Jason. What are we going to do with Mike?
怎么调字体大小Jason: Well Maggie, we've been asking each other the same question ever since his first report card in kindergarten.
Maggie: I know, but he's only a year and a half away from graduating.
Jason: I wouldn't bet on it. D, D plus, D minus minus. Teacher comment number sixty four, which is, "I've had it, I'm quitting teaching".
Maggie: Oh!
Jason: Cour the real comment is our old
Jason and Maggie: "The student is not realizing full potential".
Maggie: Jason, what is going to become of Mike after he graduates? I mean, no college, no skills.
I mean what kind of a job can a person get when all they have is a charming smile and nothing to back it up?
Jason: He can go to Hollywood, become an actor.
Maggie: Jason, I realize that as a psychiatrist you work hard at not letting your emotions get the best of you. But at this point I'm asking mylf, "why didn't I marry urologist?"
Jason: Maggie, I'd rather think than rant, ok?
Maggie: So, what are you thinking?
Jason: Well, I think there must be a more effective way to get through to Mike.
Maggie: Good. What is it?
Jason: I don't know.
Maggie: And you call that thinking?
Jason: Alright. How would you get through to him?
Maggie: Me?
Jason: Yeah.
Maggie: k...I'ah yeah and this is good! You know that speech you're giving at Boston College tomorrow? The one you made me listen to three times.
Jason: No, I know the one you asked to hear three times.
Maggie: That's the one. Anyway take him with you. Show him round the campus. Let him e what he'll be missing, if he doesn't get his act together.
Jason: Maggie, that's a terrible idea.
幼儿园大班教育笔记Maggie: It is?
Jason: Do you know what I could do? I could take him with me to Boston and soft ll him about college.
Maggie: Ah! Show him around the campus?
Jason: Yes!
Maggie: Let him e what he'll be missing.
Jason: Yes.
Maggie: Why I wonder where you come up with this stuff.
Jason: Maggie, this is great. Oh, Michael!! He won't be able to resist my magical powers of persuasion. I'll have the whole weekend to spend with him. Hi Mike. Have a at.
Mike: Ah hold it! Alright alright. I know what this is all about, I know you guys have been talking about my future plans, and I mylf have a few remarks on this subject. Have a at, Dad. Now, what's all this fuss about the future?
Maggie: Mike!!
Mike: Naa Mom!! Now I have got this handled, alright? Now I have made a decision in my life to become very successful and make a lot of money.
Jason: Aha?!
Mike: Now you guys are probably asking yourlves, "how is he going to do this?"
Jason and Maggie: How is he going to do this?
Mike: It's all right here in black and white Mom.
Maggie: "Vinnie Furbo's shiftless man's way to big bucks"?
Mike: Keep reading.
Maggie: "I made a million smakaroos and I'm just an average Joe like you. And you don't need a big deal college education, or any special skills. All you need is two free hours a week and a winning smile"???
Mike: I've found my calling. Ok, now I won't take any more of you guys' time but I will
promi you this- when I make my first million, I will buy you guys some decent clothes.
Jason: Mike, could I e that plea?
Mike: Yeah, sure Dad.
(Jason tears the paper up)
Jason: Ah son, as I said before, will you have a at plea?
Mike: Ahhhh Dad, is this gonna be another one of tho college talks?
Jason: No.
Maggie: Ah yes it is.
Jason: No it isn't.
Maggie: Yes it is.
Jason: No, it isn't.
Maggie: Is.
Jason: No, we've been through this one before Mike. What's the point of another lecture，Right? No, no, son of mine, I've got this two day trip to Boston coming up and I thought, "hey! Why don't we make it a guys' getaway?"
Mike: What's the catch?
Jason: There's no catch Mike. Come on, it will be fun. Just the two of us hanging out in bean town. You've been under a lot of academic pressure lately, and well maybe what you really need is just a break. Come on, you've earned it!!
Ben: Where does all this stupid garbage end up?
Carol: Well, it's taken to a factory, turned into video tape and then they record rock videos onto it. Ben: Wow.
Mike: Carol, I need you to lend me a suitca.
Carol: They decided to kick you out of the hou? Yes!!!
Mike: No. They didn't kick me out of the hou.
Carol: A girl can dream.
Mike: As a matter of fact, Dad's taking me on a trip to Boston, for a little guy getaway.
Carol: Wait a minute. You get called in 'cau of your crummy grades, and end up on a trip to Boston? What am I doing wrong here?
Mike: A lot Carol. But that's not the point. And for your information, Mom and Dad didn't even wanna talk about my grades.
Carol: What?
Mike: Na, no, they didn't even bring 'em up. They were in a great mood.
Carol: Mike! If Mom and Dad were in a great mood after eing your grades, then we've just experienced a miracle. I mean, my guess is, that this hou is going to turn into a shrine. And then th
ousands of D students are gonna light candles in your name!! Mike Seaver, patron Saint of underachievers.
Mike: I'll get my own suitca.
Ben: Oh! This patch of garbage has definitely "rock" written all over it.
Carol: Ben, if I told you that Mom and Dad didn't yell at Mike becau of grades. And instead, Dad was taking Mike on a fun trip to Boston. What would you think?
Ben: I'd think that Dad was trying to trick Mike into caring about college, by taking him to his old school.
Carol: Ben, you're right! This is all a trick!!
Ben: Sure. What'd you think?
Air hostess: The Captain has extinguished the fastened at belt sign, plea feel free to move aimlessly around the cabin.
Jason: Alright Mike, we're on our way.
Mike: Yeah.
Jason: Hey, you realize this is the first time you and I have taken a trip alone together?
Mike: Yeah.
Jason: I mean as just two men hanging out.
Mike: Hey Dad, what do you say we look for some chicks, huh?
Jason: Very funny. Hey we're gonna have some big fun this weekend though.
Mike: Yeah.
Jason: The only obligation I have is to make that speech on campus, and that's not going to take very long. Hey, as long as I have to go to the campus anyway, why don't you come with me? I could show you around my college. The place where I had some of the best years of my life. Mike: Na..I don't know Dad. I think maybe I wanna stay at the hotel and find some women. Jason: Mike. Well, if it's women you're interested in, you know, you're missing a bet not
coming to this campus.
Mike: Yeah?
Jason: Oh yeah! Hundreds. And all of them knowledge.
Mike: So, I guess it would be a shame to miss that speech, wouldn't it Dad?
Jason: Right. Hey you know we could spend the whole day there.
Hostess: Nuts??
Jason: Yeah, I love the.
Mike: Yeah. Thanks.
Hostess: Do either of you like something to drink?
Jason: Oh...
Hostess: Becau no one el does on kind of such a short flight and everything. And it would really save me a lot of trouble if I didn't have to haul out that drink cart.
Jason: No, it's fine thank you. Well, you know, I remember when I first went to that college. I had no clue what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. But there's something about being there that brought it all into focus, you know? And that's when I realized, there was only one career for me. Mike: Huh.
Jason: Race car driver. So they nt me to the school psychiatrist, and the rest is all mental health history.
Man: Hey kid! Can I borrow your barf bag?
Mike: Yeah. Keep it.
Man: Yours too.
Jason: Oh? Sure, enjoy.
Man: Thanks.
Jason: So Mike. What are your plans?
Mike: Ahhh, I'm wide open Dad. This is just gonna be a guys' get-away weekend for me.
Jason: You know, I don't just mean for the weekend, I mean for the future too. Like err, how do you e yourlf ten years from now?
Mike: ld.
Jason: Mike, you'll be twenty six.
Mike: Yeah.
Jason: Alright. Two years from now.
Mike: Two
Jason: Better yet, tell me how you e yourlf two days after graduation. What are you gonna be doing?
Mike: Oh simple. Me and Eddy and Boner, we're heading down to Fort Lauderdale.
Jason: Alright. One week after graduation.
Mike: Still partying.汉字起源的传说
Jason: Mike, come on! Before you know, it's going to be graduation.
Mike: Come on Dad, it's a whole year and a half away.
Jason: Yeah but you get the things that you get a chance to do now. And the decisions you're gonna make, they're gonna affect you the rest of your life. Time is precious.
Mike: Oh wow Dad! See that fox heading over to the lounge? I gotta go check her out.
Jason: Mike. We'about time being precious.
Mike: Tell me about it! This plane lands in fifteen minutes. I gotta move!
Jason: Mike!
Mike: Ahh, she wasn't interested Dad. She was married.
Jason: Mike, I don't wanna talk about that.
Mike: Me either, it's depressing.
Jason: I want to stick to the original topic of discussion, ok?
Mike: What was the original topic Dad?
Jason: How you're gonna improve your grades, Mike.
Mike: Since when did that become the topic?
Jason: Years ago.
Mike: Ah come on Dad. This isn't my idea of a guy's get-away.
Jason: How do I get through to you? I mean, how do I make you realize that for the rest of your life, you're going to be affected by what you do now?
Mike: Dad, what makes you so sure I don't?
Jason: When's the last time, you spent more than fifteen minutes doing your homework?
Mike: Dad, it's not the quantity of time that I spend; it's the quality, right?
Jason: You just don't get it do you? I mean would it help if I took away your car until your grades came through?
Hostess: Attention! Attention! Excu me! We have a
Pasnger: Oh no no no, we're gonna crash!!!
Hostess: No! No, I don't think so.
Pasnger: Think? Aarrggghhh!!!!!
Hostess: Hey hey, we just got a little medical emergency here. Lighten up! Now, is there a doctor on board?
Jason: I'm a doctor.
Hostess: Ah, terrif! Hi! The woman sitting behind you. This guy's wife, she says she's going into labour.
Jason: Well, I can take a look at her.
Man: Hey Doc. Don't you need a little black bag, or something?
Jason: No. I'm a psychiatrist.
Man: Oh well Doc. She doesn't think she's having a baby, she's having a baby.
Jason: A psychiatrist is a medical doctor.
Man: Oh? don't tell my wife you're a head shrinker, huh?
Jason: Hello, hi, I'm Jason Seaver. I understand you're going into labour. Ok, alright, how far apart are the contractions?
Woman: My water broke!!
Jason: Would you have the Captain radio ahead for an ambulance?
Man: Ambulance! Ambulance!
Jason: Everything's fine, everything's fine. We'll be on the ground, long before the baby arrives.
Man: Oh. Ok.
Captain: Hi folks. This is Captain Kirk. Lowland International is having a little fog we're gonna circle a bit, so relax and have a drink.
Man: Oh no no no no no!!! Everything's going wrong here.
Jason: Calm down Carter, there's no reason to panic, everything's fine.
北京到拉萨Hostess: Yeah. You don't e me throwing a fit, and I've got to haul out that stupid drinks cart. Jason: Come on there's more room up here, you'll be more comfortable.
Man: Why do we need more room? What's going to happen? You said we'd be on the ground by now. Didn't he? Didn't he say that? Didn't he?
(The pregnant woman is squealing as she is in labour)
Man: Ok. What do we do now? Water, rip sheets, what?
Woman: Honey, you're scaring me!
Jason: You're scaring me too, damn it. Will you sit over there plea. Susan, you sit right there. Woman: In the magic carpet lounge?
Jason: Yeah. Dan, you know you could be a big help if you'd just take a stroll, alright? Just calm down.
Man: That's it. I'll take a nice brisk walk outside. It'll do me good.
Jason: Mike, will you watch him plea?
Mike: Alright Dad, but if he opens the door, he's on his own.
Woman: Oooohhh ooohhh oooohhh!!!
鸡蛋仔配方Jason: Yes. Are you comfortable Susan?
Woman: I haven't been comfortable in five months Doctor!
Hostess: Doctor. A word in our private team.
Jason: Yeah.
Woman: No.
Jason: What did the captain say?
Hostess: He said it would take an hour for the fog to clear, and at least forty five minutes to divert to another airport.
Jason: Damn! This baby's coming in an half an hour. You tell your Captain Kirk, he's either got to land this plane, or beam me up an obstetrician.
Hostess: Oh. That's so cute.
Woman: Aaarrggghh!!!
Man: I told her we shouldn't fly. The doctor said no. But did she listen to me?
Mike: Apparently not.
Man: You think she'll be ok?
Mike: Oh yeah, she'll be fine. Yeah my dad is a great psychiatrist.
Man: But now he's dealing with the other end. What's your name?
Mike: Ah...Mike.
Man: What's my name? Dan!!! That's it! Ok, ok Mike. I'm feeling much better now. I'm feeling completely calm.
Pasnger: Calm??!! Why shouldn't you be calm? What's going on?
Jason: Keep pushing Susan, keep pushing.
Woman: When does the pain stop?
Jason: In about eighteen years.
Man: It's happening! It's happening!
Jason: Dan, get a hold of yourlf.
Man: Where?
Woman: Birdycup!
Man: Sweetheart!
Woman: Munchkin!
Man: Baby doll!
Woman: Get the hell out of here! You're making me feel awful.会计习题
Man: Yeah, but I'm your coach.
Woman: If I need a coach, you're the first one I'll call. Now get out!!
Jason: Don't take it personally Dan!
Man: Yeah. I know, I know Doc. I know. I took Lamonts class Mike, and I know a woman tends to freak out when she reaches the final stage of labour. The final stage of labour!!!
Jason: Mike!
Mike: I got it Dad, it's ok. Tell me about tho race car class you took.
Woman: Aaarrrgghhhh!
Hostess: Got a c? Doctor, I have two messages from captain Kirk. First he said he could have you on the ground in sixty five conds but he doesn't think you'd enjoy the landing. And cond, he didn't care for your Captain Kirk joke as much as I did.
Woman: AAAaaaarrrrgghhh!!
Man: You hear that?
Mike: I think everybody heard that. Oh I blew it. That's all there is too it. Don't argue with me kid. I'm a wimp. Go ahead and say it.
Mike: Ok. You're a wimp.
Man: Who asked you? Wouldn't you be freakin' out if your wife was having a baby?
Mike: Heck, I'd freak out if I even had a wife.
Man: What kind of father am I? Can't even watch my own kid being born. I mean my kid'hate me. Ah, this whole deal of having a baby, big mistake.
Mike: Hey, I have never gotten why people even have kids.
Man: Hey! Everybody knows why you have kids. You do it to bring somebody into the world who's part you and part your wife.
清明节的简介
Mike: Aha.
Man: Yeah, I mean it's like having someone round who can learn from your mistakes. I mean like err say somewhere down the line all of a sudden my kid wants to say err, "move to Pittsburgh!" I say, "no way, I lived there". And if he ever wants to be cool and smoke, well, I'll tell him, "you aint gonna do that pal! It took me three years to quit. And if you ever, ever, think of it'll be over my dead body. You e I done that and it stinks!"
Mike: Alright, I won't quit. I won't.
Man: Oh. Sorry Mike. Guess I'm not mylf today, huh?
Mike: Hey, it's ok, I know another father who yells a little.
Man: Yeah. What am I gonna do with this kid when he wants to make some stupid mistake? Mike: What do you mean, "what are you going to do"? You're gonna straighten him out.
Man: Na, he'll just think I'm on his ca.
Mike: So, who cares what he thinks, he's just a kid. Now who knows more? You or him?
Man: You're right.
Mike: Yeah. I am.
Man: Maybe you ought to have a kid, kid.
(baby crying)
Man: Will you listen to that. Now who would bring a little baby on a plane? The baby! It's a baby! It's my baby! It's our baby! We got a baby!
Man: Honey.
Woman: Honey. Honey, we have a son.
Man: A son. Hey Mike, it's a son.
Mike: Yeah right! Way to go!
Man: He'so young.
