标杆人生第20天重建破裂的团契生活
程砚秋简介
[God] has restored our relationship with him through Christ, and has given us this ministry of restoring relationships. 2 Corinthians 5:18 (GWT)
天下雪
Relationships are always worth restoring.
Becau life is all about learning how to love, God wants us to value relationships and make the effort to maintain them instead of discarding them whenever there is a rift, a hurt, or a conflict. In fact, the Bible tells us that God has given us the ministry of restoring relationships. For this reason a significant amount of the New Testament is devoted to teaching us how to get along with one another. Paul wrote, "If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you,... Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends." Paul taught that our ability to get along with others is a mark of spiritual maturity.
Since Christ wants his family to be known for our love for each other, broken fellowship is a disgraceful testimony to unbelievers. This is why Paul was so embarrasd that the members of the church in Corinth were splitting into warring factions and even taking each other to court. He wrote, "Shame on you! Surely there is at least one wi person in your fellowship who can ttle a dispute between fellow
去游泳的英文
Christians.' He was shocked that no one in the church was mature
enough to resolve the conflict peaceably. In the same letter, he said, "I'll put it as urgently as I can: You must get along with each other.”
If you want God's blessing on your life and you want to be known as a child of God, you must learn to be a peacemaker. Jesus said, "God bless tho who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God." Notice Jesus didn't say, "Blesd are the peace lovers," becau everyone loves peace. Neither did he say, "Blesd are the peaceable," who are never disturbed by anything. Jesus said, "Blesd are tho who work for peace" tho who actively ek to resolve conflict. Peacemakers are rare becau peacemaking is hard work.
Becau you were formed to be a part of God's family and the cond purpo of your life on earth is to learn how to love and relate to others, peacemaking is one of the most important skills you can develop. Unfortunately, most of us were never taught how to resolve conflict.
Peacemaking is not avoiding conflict. Running from a problem, pretending it doesn't exist, or being afraid to talk about it is actually cowardice. Jesus, the Prince of Peace, was never afraid of conflict. On occasion he provoked it for the10道趣味数学题
good of everyone. Sometimes we need to avoid conflict, sometimes we need to create it, and sometimes we need to resolve it. That's why we must pray for the Holy Spirit's continual guidance.
Peacemaking is also not appeament. Always giving in, acting like a doormat, and allowing others to always run over you is not what Jesus had in mind. He refud to back down on many issues, standing his ground in the face of evil opposition.
HOW TO RESTORE A RELATIONSHIP
As believers, God has "called us to ttle our relationships with each other." Here are ven biblical steps to restoring fellowship:
奇松Talk to God before talking to the person. Discuss the problem with God. If you will pray about the conflict first instead of gossiping to a friend, you will often discover that either God changes your heart or he changes the other person without your help. All your relationships would go smoother if you would just pray more about them.
As David did with his psalms, u prayer to ventilate vertically. Tell God your frustrations. Cry out to him. He's never surprid or upt by your anger, hurt, incurity, or any other emotions. So tell him exactly how you feel.
Most conflict is rooted in unmet needs. Some of the needs can only be met by God. When you expect anyone-a friend, spou, boss, or family member-to meet a need that only God can fulfill, you are tting yourlf up for disappointment and bitterness. No one can meet all of your needs except God.
The apostle James noted that many of our conflicts are caud by prayerlessness: "What caus fights and quarrels among you? ... You want something but don't You do not have, becau you do not ask God." Instead of looking to God, we look to others to make us happy and then get angry when they fail us. God says, "Why don't you come to me first?"
Always take the initiative. It doesn't matter whether you are the offender or the offended: God expects you to make the first move. Don't wait for the other party. Go to them first. Restoring
broken fellowship is so important, Jesus commanded that it even takes priority over group worship. He said, "If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.'
When fellowship is strained or broken, plan a peace conference immediately. Don't procrastinate, ma
ke excus, or promi "I'll get around to it someday." Schedule a face-to-face meeting as soon as possible. Delay only deepens rentment and makes matters wor. In conflict, time heals nothing; it caus hurts to fester.
Acting quickly also reduces the spiritual damage to you. The Bible says sin, including unresolved conflict, blocks our fellowship with God and keeps our prayers from being answered," besides making us mirable. Job's friends reminded him, "To worry yourlf to death with rentment would be a foolish, nless thing to do" and "You are only hurting yourlf with your anger.”
The success of a peace conference often depends on choosing the right time and place to meet. Don't meet when either of you are tired or rushed or will be interrupted. The best time is when you both are at your best.
Sympathize with their feelings. U your ears more than your mouth. Before attempting to solve any disagreement you must first listen to people's feelings. Paul advid, "Look out for one another's interests, not just for your own." The phra "look out for" is the Greek word skopos, from which we form our words telescope and microscope. It means pay clo attention! Focus on their feelings, not the facts. Begin with sympathy, not solutions.
Don't try to talk people out of how they feel at first. Just listen and let them unload emotionally without being defensive. Nod that you understand even when you don't agree. Feelings are not always true or logical. In fact, rentment makes us act and think in foolish ways. David admitted, "When my thoughts were bitter and my feelings were hurt, I was as stupid as an animal." We all act beastly when hurt.
In contrast, the Bible says, "A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offen.' Patience comes from wisdom, and wisdom comes from hearing the perspective of others. Listening says, "I value your opinion, I care about our relationship, and you matter to me." The cliche is true: People don't care what we know until they know we care.
To restore fellowship "we must bear the `burden' of being considerate of the doubts and fears Let's plea the other fellow, not ourlves, and do what is for his good." It is a sacrifice to patiently absorb the anger of others, especially if it's unfounded. But remember, this is what Jesus did for you. He endured unfounded, malicious anger in order to save you: "Christ did not indulge his own feelings ... as scripture says: The insults of tho who insult you fall on me.'
Confess your part of the conflict. If you are rious about restoring a relationship, you should begin
0vwith admitting your own mistakes or sin. Jesus said it's the way to e things more clearly: "First get rid of the log from your own eye; then perhaps you will e well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye.'
光着我的脚丫子Since we all have blind spots, you may need to ask a third party to help you evaluate your own actions before meeting with the person with whom you have a conflict. Also ask God to show you how much of the problem is your fault. Ask, "Am I the problem? Am I being unrealistic, innsitive, or too nsitive?" The Bible says, "If we claim that we're free of sin, we're only fooling ourlves."
Confession is a powerful tool for reconciliation. Often the way we handle a conflict creates a bigger hurt than the original problem itlf. When you begin by humbly admitting your mistakes, it defus the other person's anger and disarms their attack becau they were probably expecting you to be defensive. Don't make excus or shift the blame; just honestly own up to any part you have played in the conflict. Accept responsibility for your mistakes and ask for forgiveness.
Attack the problem, not the person. You cannot fix the problem if you're consumed with fixing the blame. You must choo between the two. The Bible says, "A gentle respon defus anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper fire." You will never get your point across by being cross, so choo your words wily. A soft answer is always better than a sarcastic one.
In resolving conflict, how you say it is as important as what you say. If you say it offensively, it will be received defensively. God tells us, "A wi, mature person is known for his understanding. The more pleasant his words, the more persuasive he is." Nagging never works. You are never persuasive when you're abrasive.
During the Cold War, both sides agreed that some weapons were so destructive they should never be ud. Today chemical and biological weapons are banned, and the stockpiles of nuclear weapons are being reduced and destroyed. For the sake of fellowship, you must destroy your arnal of relational nuclear weapons, including condemning, belittling, comparing, labeling, insulting, condescending, and being sarcastic. Paul sums it up this way: "Do not u harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to tho who hear you."
一个草字头一个今Cooperate as much as possible. Paul said, "Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody." Peace always has a price tag. Sometimes it costs our pride; it often costs our lf-centeredness. For the sake of fellowship, do your best to compromi, adjust to others, and show preference to what they
need. A paraphra of Jesus' venth beatitude says, "You're blesd when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family."
In resolving conflict, how you say it is as important as what you say. Reconciliation focus on the relationship, while resolution focus on the problem.
Emphasize reconciliation, not resolution. It is unrealistic to expect everyone to agree about everything. Reconciliation focus on the relationship, while resolution focus on the problem. When we focus on reconciliation, the problem los significance and often becomes irrelevant.
We can reestablish a relationship even when we are unable to resolve our differences. Christians often have legitimate, honest disagreements and differing opinions, but we can disagree without being disagreeable. The same diamond looks different from different angles. God expects unity, not uniformity, and we can walk arm-in-arm without eing eye-to-eye on every issue.
This doesn't mean you give up on finding a solution. You may need to continue discussing and even debating-but you do it in a spirit of harmony. Reconciliation means you bury the hatchet, not necessarily the issue.
Who do you need to contact as a result of this chapter? With whom do you need to restore fellowship? Don't delay another cond. Pau right now and talk to God about that person. Then pick up the phone and begin the process. The ven steps are simple, but they are not easy. It takes a lot of effort to restore a relationship. That's why Peter urged, "Work hard at living in peace with others." But when you work for peace, you are doing what God would do. That's why God calls peacemakers his children.
DAY TWENTY THINKING ABOUT MY PURPOSE
Point to Ponder: Relationships are always worth restoring.
Ver to Remember: "Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody."
Romans 12:18 (TEV)
Question to Consider: Who do I need to restore a broken relationship with today?
