The miry of shyness
Shyness is the cau of much unhappiness for a great many people. All kinds of people describe themlves as shy :short , tall, dull, intelligent, young, old, slim, 大气层英语overweight. Shy people are anxious and lf-conscious; that is, they are excessively（过多地） concerned with their own appearance and actions. Worrisome thought are constantly swirling(打转，旋动) in their minds: What kind of impression am I making? Do they like me? Do I stupid? I’m ugly. I’m wearing unattractive clothes.
It’s obvious that such uncomfortable feelings must affect people adverly. a person ‘s lf-concept is reflected in the way he or she behaves, and the way people think about themlves has a positive n of lf-worth or high lf-esteem usually act with confidence .becau they have lf-assurance, they do not need constant prai and encouragement from others to feel good about themlves. Self-confident people participate in life enthusiastically and spontaneously（自发地，本能地）.they are not affected by what others think they “一服should” do . people with high lf-esteem are not hurt by
criticism; they do not regard criticism as a personal attack.. instead they view a criticism as a suggestion for improvement.
In contrast, shy people, having low lf-esteem ,are likely to be passive and easily influenced by others .they need reassurance that they are doing “the right thing”. Shy people are very nsitive(敏感的) to criticism; they feel it confirms inferiority（劣势；自卑）.they also find it difficult to be plead by compliments becau they are unworthy of prai. A shy person may respond a compliment with a statement like this one:“you are just saying that to make me feel good. I know it’s not true.”it is clear that, while lf-awareness is a healthy quality, overdoing it is detrimental, or harmful.
Can shyness be completely eliminated, or at least reduced？ Fortunately, people can overcome shyness with determined and patient effort in building lf-esteem, it is important for people to accept their weakness and as well as their strengths. For example, most people would like to be “A”女人五十 students in every subject. I核桃壳的作用t is not fair for them to label themlves as inferior becau they have difficultly in some areas. People’s expe
ctations of themlves must be realistic. Dwelling on the impossible leads to a n of inadequacy, and even feelings of envy, or jealousy. We are lf-destructive when we envy a student who gets better grades.
If you are shy here are some specific helpful steps toward building lf-confidence and overcoming shyness.
1.recognize your personal strengths and weakness. Everyone has both. As lf-acceptance grows, shyness naturally diminishes.
2.t reasonable goals. For example, you may be timid about being with a group of strangers at a party. Don’t feel that you must conver with everyone. Concentrate on talking to only one or two people贪婪什么意思. You will feel more comfortable.
3.guilt and shame are destructive feelings. don’t waste time and energy on them. 宋尚节Suppo you hurt someone’s feelings. Feeling shame accomplishes nothing. Instead, accept the fact that you make a mistake, and make up your mind to be more nsitive.
4.there are numerous approaches to all issues. Few opinions are completely right or wrong. Don’t be afraid to speak up and give you point of view.
5.don’t make negative comments on about yourlf. This is a form of lf-reject. avoid describing yourlf as stupid, ugly, a failure. Accent the positive.
6.accept criticism thoughtfully. Do not interpret it as a personal attack. If, for example, a friend complains your cooking, accept it as a comment on your cooking ,not yourlf. Be assured that you are still friends, but perhaps your cooking could improve.
7.高考励志语remember everyone experience some failure and disappointment. Profit from them as learning experiences. Very often a disappointment become a turning point for a wonderful experience to come along. For instance, you may be rejected by the college of your choice. However, at the college you actually attend, you may find a quality of education beyond what you had expected.
8.do not associate with people who make you feel inadequate, try to change their attitude
or yours, or remove yourlf from the relationship. People who hurt you do not have your best interests at heart.
9.t aside time, enjoy hobbies, and reevaluate your goals regularly. Time spend this way helps you learn more about yourlf.
10.practice being in social situations. Don’t isolate yourlf from people. Try making one acquaintance at a time; eventually you will circulate in large groups with skill and lf-assurance.
Each one of us is unique, valuable individual. We are interesting in our own personal ways. The better we understand ourlves, the easily it becomes to live up to our full potential. let’s not allow shyness to block our chances for a rich and fulfilling life.
