美国脱口秀十大热门话题
本文的脱口秀指NBC的Conan、Jay Leno和Jimmy Fallon，CBS的David Letterman和Craig Ferguson，还有ABC的Jimmy Kimmel。
美国晚间脱口秀开场主持人先来Monologue，就是讲时事笑话，以下十个笑点比较常用，特举例说明。
0. 小布什很傻 1. 克林顿花心 2. 奥巴马爱秀 3. 切尼很好战 4. 拜登很墨迹
5. 佩林很幼稚 6. 拉里金很老 7. 福克斯很右 8. NBC收视差 9. 中国很强大
基本上算是按内容总结一下我翻译过的Monologue
0. 小布什很傻
四字词语及意思“Former Vice President Dick Cheney is working on his memoirs. People say when the book comes out President Bush is not going to be happy. Not becau the book is critical of Bush, but becau it’s one of tho books that’s all words.” -Conan O’Brien
前副总统切尼在写回忆录，大家认为布什对这本书不会高兴，不是因为这本书批评了布什，而是因为这是一本全是字的书。
“Anybody here from Minnesota? Congratulations, you have a brand new nator, our old friend, Al Franken. Al is an interesting guy. Went from being a comedian to politician. George Bush — the other way around.” – David Letterman
有来自明尼苏达的吗？恭喜，你们有了个新的参议员，我们的老朋友Al Franken，他可是个特搞笑的人，完成了从搞笑家到政治家的转变，布什，恰恰相反。
“President Obama giving a lot of very important speeches. He gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in order to succeed they need to work hard and study hard. Then today, former President George W. Bush prented the rebuttal.” – Conan O’Brien
奥巴马做了很多重要演讲，今晚他讲了医保问题，昨天他给了学生一个演讲，说要想成功就得努力学习努力工作，今天，布什站出来，用自己给了个反例。
The University of Chicago, where President Obama once taught law, they want to hou the Barack Obama presidential library. The library will be just like President George W. Bush’s library, except it will have books.
无脊椎动物芝加哥大学，奥巴马曾经教书的地方，决定建一座奥巴马图书馆，跟布什图书馆差不多，但是里面有书。
火龙果怎么了1. 克林顿花心
“In a speech to the Clinton Global Initiative yesterday, President Obama thanked Bill Clinton for the extraordinary difference he has made since leaving the White Hou. Clinton then stood up and thanked President Obama for keeping Hillary so busy.” – Jimmy Fallon
昨天在克林顿的Global Initiative年会上，奥巴马对克林顿离开白宫后所做的努力表示感谢，克林顿也感谢奥巴马让希拉里一直这么忙。
“Former President Bill Clinton was recently asked about his wife Hillary’s 11-day trip to Afr
ica. And he said, ‘I wish she were home.’ Then he said, ‘By which, I mean, I wish her home was Africa.’” -Conan O’Brien
前总统克林顿最近谈到妻子希拉里11天的非洲行时说，我希望她能待在家。接着补充到：我是指，我希望非洲是她的家。
Yesterday in New York, President Obama had lunch with former President Clinton. Afterwards, Clinton told Obama, “Remember, if Hillary asks, we had lunch and dinner, then I slept over at your place.”
昨天奥巴马和克林顿在纽约共进午餐，饭后，克林顿跟奥巴马说，如果希拉里问的话，就说我们一起吃了午餐和晚餐，晚上我在你家睡的。
It’s a great day for America, everybody. Yes, it is. It is our Secretary of State’s birthday. It is Hillary Clinton’s birthday. Happy birthday, Hillary. President Obama asked her what she wanted, she said, “Your job.”
今天是重要的日子，我们国家国务卿希拉里的生日，奥巴马问她想要什么生日礼物，希拉
里说：你的工作。
Bill Clinton is planning a romantic candlelight dinner tonight. Then he’ll go home and e Hillary.
克林顿准备了一顿烛光晚餐，吃完他就回家见希拉里。
Did you hear this? Hillary Clinton busted her elbow. Apparently, she slipped and hit the floor when she went home to her husband early, unannounced.
听说了吗？希拉里伤了胳膊，他提前没告诉克林顿就回家结果滑到摔倒了地板上。
2. 奥巴马爱秀
By the way, the Emmys was the only Sunday television program that President Obama was not on yesterday.
艾美颁奖典礼是昨晚奥巴马唯一没出现的节目。
“It was big night on television tonight. And instead of showing President Obama’s healthcare speech that was on tonight, Fox aired its ason premiere of ‘So You Think You Can Dance.’ I guess they wanted to give viewers a choice between hearing what’s wrong with our country and watching what’s wrong with our country.” – Jimmy Fallon
一世宠爱
今晚电视屏幕有重头戏，除了FOX，所有公共电台都会播出奥巴马关于医保的演讲，FOX决定播出新一季的“舞林大会”，这样观众可以选择是听我们国家哪里出了问题还是看我们国家哪里出了问题。
摸着良心说话3. 切尼很好战
Some Republicans are saying they want Dick Cheney, that’s right, Dick Cheney, to run for president in 2012. Of cour, you have to remember that when they said this, Cheney was torturing them.
一些共和党人希望切尼参加2012大选，当然你要知道这些人这么说是因为切尼正在对他们刑讯逼供。
“Hey, wait a minute, you know on Sunday, it’ll be 16 years that Paul and I and everybody el have been here at CBS on the ‘Late Show.’ Sixteen years, ladies and gentlemen. I’ve been torturing people longer than Dick Cheney.” – David Letterman
等一下，这个周日是我在CBS的Late Show十六周年的纪念日，十六年了啊，们，我比切尼折磨人的年头还长啊。
4. 拜登很墨迹
晴雨花英语教师课堂用语He talked so long, even Joe Biden went, “Enough!”
卡扎菲讲的时间实在是太长了，连副总统拜登都站出来说，“停吧”社戏完整原文
Muammar Qaddafi was at the U.N. today. He gave a speech that was extremely long. It was rambling and filled with inappropriate comments. As soon as Qaddafi finished, Joe Biden came up and said, “Teach me, master.”
