Van Houten
I’梦到吃酒席m a good person but a shitty writer。 You’re a shitty person but a good writer。 We’d make a good team。 I don’t want to ask you any favors， but if you have time-and from what I saw， you have plenty—I was wondering if you could write a eulogy for Hazel. I've got notes and everything, but if you could just make it into a coherent whole or whatever？ Or even just tell me what I should say differently。
Here’s the thing about Hazel： Almost everyone is obsd with leaving a mark upon the world. Bequeathing a legacy. Outlasting death。 We all want to be remembered。 联通卡怎么查流量I do, too. That’s what bothers me most， is being another unremembered casualty in the ancient and inglorious war against dia高中总结。
I want to leave a mark。
But Van Houten: The marks humans leave are too often scars。 You build a hideous minimall or start a coup or try to become a rock star and you think， “They’ll remember me
now,” but (a） they don’t remember you， and (b） all you leave behind are more scars。 Your coup becomes a dictatorship. Your minimall becomes a lesion.
(Okay， maybe I’m not such a shitty writer。 But I can’t pull my ideas together, Van Houten. My thoughts are stars I can’t fathom into constellations.）
We are like a bunch of fogs squirting on fire hydrants. We poison the groundwater with our toxic piss, making everything MINE in a ridiculous attempt to survive our deaths。 I can't stop pissing on fire hydrants. I know it’s silly and uless-epically uless in my current state— but I am an animal like any other。
Hazel is different。 She walks lightly， old man. She walks lightly upon the earth. Hazel knows the truth: We’re as likely to hurt the univer as we are to help it, and we're not likely to do either.
P球拍eople will say it’s sad that she leaves a lesr scar, that fewer remember her， that she was loved deeply but not widely. But it's not sad, Van Houten。 It’s triumphant。 It's heroic. Isn'婵媛t than the real heroism？ Like the doctors say： First， do not harm.
The real heroes anyways aren教师个人规划’t the people doing thing； the real heroes are the people NOTICING things， paying attention. The guy who invented the smallpox vaccine didn’t actually invent anything. He just noticed that people with cowpox didn’t get small pox。
After me PET scan lit up, I suck into the ICU and saw her while she was unconscious. I just walked in behind a nur with a badge and 把酒言欢I got to sit next to her for like ten minutes before I got caught. I really thought she was going to die before I could tell her that I was going to die, too. It was brutal: the incessant mechanized haranguing of intensive care. She had this ark cancer water dripping out of her chest。 Eyes clod。 Intubated。 But her hand was still her hand, still warm and the nails painted this almost black dark blue and I just held her hand and tried to imagine the world without us and for about one cond I was good enough person to hope she died so she would never know that I was going， too. But then I wanted more time so we could fall in love。 I got my wish, I suppo。 I left my scar。企业论文
