[00:00.41]晚上好啊阿婆们 姑娘之夜在外小聚啊 Evening, ladies. Gals' night out?
开胸顺气丸[00:02.84]吃着派 聊着帅哥 真欢乐啊 Chasing guys, eating pie,having fun.
[00:05.45]这桌子粘乎乎的 快那破抹布擦擦吧 This table is sticky!Run a damp rag across it!
[00:10.57]把这收拾干净能死啊 Would it kill you to clean a little?
[00:12.12]你们这到底是啥地方啊 What kinda place is this?
[00:13.69]这里的汤都是冷的 The kind that rves soup cold.
[00:16.15]还有 你那夸张的耳环是咋回事儿 And what's with your crazy earrings?
[00:18.15]难不成你是吉普赛人 What are you, some kinda gypsy?
[00:20.06]喔 淡定啊 阿婆们 Whoa! Hold up, ladies.
[00:22.36]人老不是犯贱的理由啊 You don't get a bitch pass just 'cau you're old.
[00:26.90]对 你们没听错 我就是说了 Yes, that's right.I said it.
[00:29.80]你们进来吃饭 还一副黑社会老大的态度 You come in here with your gangster granny attitude,
[00:32.07]想把怒火都发泄在 think you can get away
[00:33.80]我这个吉卜赛服务员身上 with dumping all over the lowly gypsy waitress.
[00:35.97]没门 在我们餐厅 没歧视你们老已经不错了 No way. At this diner, we don't discriminate due to age.
[00:39.21]如果你么非这么混蛋下去 If you're gonna act like an ass,
[00:40.71]我也要像对待混蛋一样对待你们 I'm gonna treat you like
[00:43.21]等会你们的屁股摔得多痛可不管我事了 （ass的两个意思 大家自己体会 此处意译） No matter how clo that ass is riding to the floor.
[00:48.58]好了 现在我再把桌子擦一下 然后我们从头开始 Now, I'll wipe off the table we'll take it from the top.
[00:53.05]嗨 我是服务员Max 你们想来点木薯粉吗 Hi, I'm Max. Who wants tapioca?
[00:57.96]这才像样嘛 That's more like it.
[00:59.73]把你们的不爽都发泄到孙子孙女身上吧 Save the disappointment for the grandkids.
[01:14.00]Earl 我需要另一本支票本 Earl, I need another book of checks.
[01:16.14]刚才的一本掉在冰箱和烤箱的夹缝里了 The last one fell between the refrigerator and the oven.
[01:18.38]当我正要去拿的时候我被夹在 I'd reach for it,but that falls between
[01:20.11]“我不想拿”和“擦 我才不拿”的矛盾里了 "I don't do that"and "Oh, hell no."
[01:23.44]Max 快看那边 穿西装的男女 Look overthere, Max.Men and women in suits.
[01:27.23]我们的社区真是蒸蒸日上啊 This neighborhood is definitely on the ri.
[01:29.42]我还记得我看到一个黑人 I remember a time when a black man
[01:31.05]不能叫出租车 couldn't get a cab around here.
[01:32.72]那件事就发生在这周三 And that time was Wednesday.
[01:35.77]Max 我刚和2号桌那对聪明的夫妇聊天了 Max, I was just talking to the smart couples in booth two.
[01:38.87]他们是第一个在这里把croque monsie
ur I know they're smart becau they're the first people in here
[01:41.08]正确发音的人 who ever ordered the croque monsieur
[01:42.61]他们一定是聪明人 as croque monsieur and not "crock monster."
[01:48.38]他们想见见做蛋糕的人 They wanna meet the woman who made the cupcakes.
[01:50.10]我跟他们说你马上就过去 I told them you'd be right over.
[01:51.60]-去吧 他们多好啊 -不 他们一点也不好 - Go! They're so nice.- No, they're not nice.
[01:54.04]他们是时髦的吸血虫 They're trendy, blood-sucking locusts
[01:56.16]专门到这个社区里来掠夺 摧毁一切 who come into this neighborhood to pillage and destroy
[01:58.41]我所关心的东西 everything I care about.
[01:59.55]深有同感 I felt the same way when the Hilton sisters
[02:01.78]当年希尔顿姐妹就是这么毁了我的21岁生日 crashed my 21st birthday.
[02:04.22]啥事儿 What?
[02:07.55]这些蛋糕是你做的吗 You made the cupcakes?
[02:09.42]是的 有啥问题 快说吧 姐忙着呢 Yeah, what's the problem? Spit it out, I've got a life.
[02:12.76]我们就是想告诉你 你的蛋糕实在是 We just wanted to tell you that your flavor
[02:15.76]太好吃了 amazing.
[02:17.30]我不知道你是谁 也不知道你从哪里来 I don't know who you are or where you came from--
[02:19.57]我自己都不清楚 Neither do I.
凭信[02:21.60]但是这些蛋糕真是完美 But the are fabulous.
[02:24.35]欢迎你们来我们社区哈 Well, welcome to the neighborhood.
[02:27.24]我就知道我喜欢你们 I knew I liked you guys.
[02:31.16]那些吸血中想干啥 So what did the trendy locusts want?
[02:33.61]你太爱瞎点评了 你知道吗 You are so judgmental, you know that?
[02:36.32]他们告诉我 我的蛋糕太完美了 They wanted to tell me the cupcakes are "fabulous."
[02:39.79]谢谢 Thank you.
[02:40.95]也许从现在开始你终于可以适应 Maybe now you'll finally start to get it
[02:42.46]除我以外的人告诉你这些蛋糕有多美味 if someone besides me tells you how good they are.
[02:44.71]我想那个形容词一定是“完美” I believe the word was "fabulous."
[02:48.09]Max 端菜 Pick up, Max.
[02:49.93]Oleg 以后你要叫我会做完美蛋糕的 Oleg, from now on, you may call me Countess Max
[02:52.50]Max女爵 of the Fabulous Cupcakes.
[02:54.30]你以后要叫我Oleg先生 And you may call me Sir Oleg
[02:55.77]因为我的裤子里也有好东西哦（大家自行体会） of the Amazing Party in My Pants.
[03:03.59]Caroline 那些快乐的西装男女 Caroline, the happy,shiny people in suits
[03:05.81]让我把这张小纸条给你 asked me to give you this note.
[03:07.48]啊 太好了 Oh, what a great idea!
[03:09.48]他们建议我们到他们大厦楼下的咖啡店里 They suggested we ll Max's cupcakes
[03:11.35]销售Max的蛋糕 at the cool new coffee place in their building.
[
03:13.57]可是你们已经在我的餐厅卖蛋糕了啊 But you already ll cupcakes here in my diner.
[03:17.24]Han 我们的蛋糕是一项事业 Han, we're building a cupcake business that will one day
[03:19.69]总有一天我们会离开这里的 get us out of here.
[03:20.99]这就是我们人生的奋斗目标 That's what we're trying to do with our lives.
[03:22.71]但我本以为我们有些特殊的关系呢 But I thought we had something special.
[03:27.20]是 但那不是我们人生中的唯一 Yes, but we're not exclusive.
[03:29.70]这间餐厅很可爱 但我想要获得更多 The diner's cute, but I want more than this.
[03:33.67]嗷 Oof.
[03:35.69]就像被初恋女友又甩了一次 First girlfriend all over again.
[03:39.51]+
[03:42.96]嗨 Johnny Hey, Johnny.
[03:44.16]Max照料墙那边的生意 Max has the tables against the wall.
[03:45.33]我们坐在你这边就行了 Oh, we're good in your ction.
[03:46.93]Caroline 见见我的好兄弟Carlos吧 Caroline, I want you to meet my buddy Carlos.
[03:51.45]Hi. 嗨
[03:53.79]我去柜台忙了 Well, I'm working the counter.
[03:56.31]你怎么了老兄 给点力啊 What's happenin'? Come on, dude.
[03:57.87]你可是纽约大学文学专业的高材生啊 You have a literature degree from NYU.
[03:59.56]我不想承认 但是当我紧张的时候 I didn't mean to say that, but when I get nervous,
[04:01.39]我的家乡口音就显露出来了 my Rico Suave comes out.
[04:03.13]我保证绝对不会再发生 It won't happen again.
[04:05.63]菜单给你们 And here's two menus.
[04:07.10]杂~样~啊~亲~ What's happenin'?
[04:10.74]拜托 我真的很紧张 Dude, I'm nervous.
[04:13.69]各位 我负责那一片桌子 Hey, guys, I'm in that ction over there.
[04:15.47]我们坐在Caroline这片也挺好的 Oh, we're good in Caroline's area.
[04:17.28]如果你不怕热咖啡洒裤裆上 Well, if you like hot coffee in your pants area,
[04:20.25]you're in the right place. 就放心大胆的坐这儿吧
[04:22.25]其实 我挺喜欢那样的 Actually, I like that.
[04:24.83]等好吧 Coming right at you.
[04:30.17]Johnny坐在你那片儿 Johnny's in your ction.
[04:31.49]是啊 为什么 Yeah, why?
[04:32.62]他每天晚上就是为了见你而来的 He comes in here every night to e you.
[04:34.21]他是你的朋友 也是你的暗恋对象 还可能是随便什么东西 He's your ush or whatever he is.
[04:36.10]他才不是我的暗恋对象呢 他只是 Shh! He's not a crush. He'
[04:38.83]我不知道他是啥 但无论怎样 I don't know what he is, but whatever he is,
[04:40.13]他今天坐在你那片了 he's in your ction.
[04:46.00]- Max - 噢 你怎么来了 - Max! - Ooh! What are you doing?
[04:47.89]你不能进来的 You're not suppod to be in here.
[04:49.11]我知道 谁让我是个坏男孩呢 I know, I'm a bad boy.
[04:52.81]听着 今天我没有
坐在你那一片 Look, the reason I'm not sitting in your ction
称赞
[04:54.86]是因为我朋友Carlos特别喜欢Caroline is becau my buddy Carlos is crushing pretty hard on Caroline
[04:57.78]他让我去给他俩牵线 and he asked me to do what I can to hook them up.
[04:59.62]噢 所以现在你既是个管吧台的 Oh. So now you're a bartender,
[05:01.99]还是个街头艺术家 更是个拉皮条的 a street artist, and a pimp.
[05:03.86]Ain't nuttin' wrong with me pimpin' some boy on the side.
[05:06.54]Keeps me in spray paint and whatnot.
[05:08.99]So?
[05:10.55]From pimp
[05:14.20]帮忙跟Caroline说说吧 Help me out with your girl.
[05:15.72]我的姑娘才不会这么廉价呢 My girl don't come cheap.
[05:20.94]这里面还真热啊 [Nervous giggle] Is it hot in here?
[05:26.03]是啊 而且咱们还是在一个冰库里 Yes, and we're in a freezer.
[05:28.26]这是我的冰库 Yes. My freezer.
[05:31.05]呃 我就是想和Max说几句话 I was, uh, just talking to Max.
[05:33.89]外面见 Um, I'll e you out there.
[05:40.94]这就是你喜欢的男人类型吗 So is this what you like in the men?
[05:45.11]才不是呢 他只是个有耍流氓的顾客 No. He's just a customer that went rogue.
海棠花寓意
[05:48.17]他看起来又弱又娘 He is weak and girlish.
[05:51.24]像你这样的女人 需要一个真汉子的陪伴 A woman like you needs a real man.
[05:53.79]常言道啊 You know what they say.
[05:55.01]只要你去过一趟乌克兰 你就会知道爱爱也是会很痛的 （大家意会吧……翻不出来） Once you go Ukraine, you will scream with x pain.
[06:03.30]把这句“常言”翻译成英语 还真让人提不起性致 That probably lost some of its nsual appeal
[06:05.97]不过还是谢谢你的提议 in the translation, but thanks for the offer, Oleg.
[06:11.77]他很可爱，但不是我喜欢的型 Cute, but I'm not interested.Besides, he's not my type.
[06:15.36]你就直说吧 Just say it.
[06:16.81]你对他不感兴趣 因为他是波多黎各人 You're not interested in him becau he's Puerto Ric
an.
[06:19.23]你怎么会这么想 Where did you get this idea
[06:20.57]谁说我只和白人约会啊 that I would only date white guys?
打羽毛球的日记[06:22.07]提醒一下你 我可是和很多种男人约会过的 For your information, I'vedated all kinds of men.
[06:25.20]我曾经在蒙特卡洛和一个西班牙人约会过 I once had a Spaniard in Monte Carlo.
[06:28.19]那不是ABBA组合的一首歌么 Isn't the title of an Abba song?
[06:30.88]你真的不想和他约会吗 他挺可爱的 Are you sure about this? He's cute.
[06:33.96]看遍了白人帅哥 也来一点异国风情尝尝鲜嘛 And trust me, you could u a little salsa in your white rice.
[06:37.95]Max 我刚刚变得一贫如洗 Max, I just lost every dollar I had.
[06:40.09]我现在对男人没想法 The last thing on my mind right now is guys--
[06:42.47]
无论什么类型的男人 <i>any type of guy.</i>
[06:44.64]除了这个小帅哥 Except this guy.
[06:46.51]嗨 小栗子 Hi, Chestnut.
[06:48.31]我现在更专注于我们的事业 I'm much more concerned with our business
[06:51.01]and getting my head back above water.
[06:52.81]男人早晚都会有的 Men will come sooner or later.
展厅布置方案[06:54.65]根据我的研究 男人总是“来”的很快 Well, according to my rearch most men come sooner.
[06:59.57]我觉得我们明天应该到那家咖啡店去 Oh, I thought we should stop by
[07:00.82]向他们毛遂自荐 that new coffee place tomorrow and introduce ourlves
[07:02.61]还有推荐我们的蛋糕 and your cupcakes.
[07:04.11]我才不要就这样走进去 我感觉我在“卖”自己 I'm not gonna walk in there.I feel like I'm lling out.
[07:06.58]我们得改改“卖”这个词 Okay, let's reframe the phra lling out
[07:09.75]应该是“卖出” and make it sold out,
[07:11.45]比如 Max 我们把蛋糕全卖出去了 as in "Max, we sold out of the cupcakes"
[07:13.62]我们终于成功了 and are now successful."
[07:15.25]
[00:00.00]
[07:16.62]I can now afford to buy the wax dental floss again? 相信我没有错
[07:19.51]Fine.
[07:21.51]我这么做就是为了让你先把我们的事业忘掉一会 But I'm only doing it so you'll eventually get your mind
[07:23.50]然后找个男人欢乐一把 off the business and get laid.
[07:24.96]你怎么就觉得我这么需要爱爱呢 Why do you think I need to get laid so badly?
[07:27.10]如果我也和你一样 If I'd just gone through all the tension and trauma
[07:29.64]经历这么多的创伤 that just happened to you,
[07:31.27]I'd be climbing telephone polls to take the edge off. 我都愿意“爬”电线杆来减压
[07:33.22]信我一句吧 我现在想的最少的就是爱爱 Trust me, x is the last thing on my mind right now.
工作保障
[07:36.69]还有 说到改变 Oh, and speaking of reframing things,
[07:39.11]我给你准备了个惊喜 I have a surpri.
[07:40.70]我把我的屋子重新装饰了一翻 I redecorated my room.
[07:42.20]I scoped out some cheap fabric in bedding places 我在Houston 大街的布匹店里
[07:44.65]down on Houston Street. 仔细的选购了这些廉价布料
[07:46.57]What do you think? 看看怎么样
[07:50.46]I think you've made a vagina. 我觉得你把床整成了阴道形
[07:56.33]What? 啥
[07:57.58]Sister, you may think that x is the last thing 姐们 也许你觉得爱爱是你最不关心的事
[08:01.13]但是你把你的床装饰的像个阴道 on your mind, but you turned your bed into a vagina.
[08:06.09]难道你觉得我的阴道还有帘子吗 Do you think my vagina has curtains?
[08:07.76]我可不知道那有多“长”（邪恶的Max 啊……） I don't know how long it's been.
[08:11.68]我累坏了 我要去睡了 I'm tired. I'm going to bed.
[08:13.51]去吧 我还要做一些蛋糕 Okay, but I s
