高考读后续写动作描写之动作链
英语读后续写主要涉及动作描写、情感描写、对话描写以及环境描写。而在这四种描写中,动作描写占比重最大,对学生来说难度最高。今天带大家一块来破解动作描写的奥秘。
通过动作的细节描写来推动故事情节的发展,塑造人物形象性格,但不是没有针对性地对所有动作都进行描写,要选择最能刻画人物性格或者最有价值的动作来进行刻画。以下动作描写三部曲能够帮助你更好地完成动作的细节描写。
一.精选动词,精准描述
学生在动作描写过程中常出现的一个问题是经常用通用词汇去代替具体词汇,而做不到精准描述,比如“说”,学生会用say,在对话中反复出现,读者则完成感受不到说话的语气,嗓音,声调等,解决方法就是做到精准用词,使用具体词汇去代替通用词汇。我整理了关于从头到脚的具体词汇,供学生参考。
1.关于说的动作:
嘟囔: whisper/mumble/grunt/murmur/ grumble
结结巴巴地说:stutter/stumble/stammer
宣布:announce/declare/
/ Interrupted the silence with an announcement
保证:promi/assure
显示网速建议:offer/propo/suggest;立党为公
轻声地说 whisper to sb
恳请 plead / begged
问与答:ask/question with a rious curiosity 询问/answer回答/reply回复
/ replied in a calm voice
说 / utter/ say / state/ uttered a cry of joy/ He went along .stopping his friends , beginning endlessly his statement
喊叫:cry out喊叫/call喊叫/shout大喊/scream尖叫/yell大喊/exclaim惊叫(因高兴、愤怒、痛苦、惊讶等发生的喊叫)
/ let out a surprisingly loud voice 发出特别响地声音
其他的说:add补充说道= continue继续说道/retort反驳道; explain解释道/ state陈述道;/protest抗议道/sob哭诉道/agree同意地说/comfort安慰道/blurt out脱口而出/insist
/ inquire 询问signed 叹息道 boast 自夸道
2.关于eye的动作:
闪烁(某种感情色彩):shine/sparkle/glimmer/glitter/twinkle with+excitement/joy/pride等表示感情色彩的名词
各种哭:cry/sob/weep/wail/burst into tears/burst out crying/fight back tears抑制住泪水
睁大眼睛:one’s eyes widened/ grew wide
看 catch a glance of/ cast a glimp of / stare at / gaze at / glare at / raid / lifted his eyes / with reddened( blurred ) eyes / eyes glistened with held-back tears /
3.关于face/cheek的动作:
露出笑容:a smile appeared on/ spread across his face
焕发光彩:one怎么做牛肉干’s face lit up/brightened/glowed
脸红:flush/burn (with embarrassment)
各种笑:smile微笑/laugh出声笑/chuckle轻声笑/giggle咯咯笑/sneer讥讽地笑/beam笑容满面/grin露齿笑
4.关于hand的动作:
各种打:pound/thump/punch 猛击; beat连续击打;slap打耳光;tap/pat轻拍
各种抓:ize;grasp;grab; clutch; take hold of; catch hold of; hold on to
其他的动作:pull拉/掏; push推;reach 伸;drag拽;pinch捏wipe擦;rub揉;hug/embrace/hold sb in one’放弃射门s arms拥抱;press按压;roll摇;pick up捡起
5.关于body的动作:
sit 坐;lie with sb lying beneath the sky 躺;bend/stoop 弯腰;lean against..倚靠;drop/hang/lower one’周宣王s head 低头
6.关于heart的动作:
飞机行李各种心跳:beat/thump/pound/pump ( with excitement/fear)
其他动作:miss/skip a beat 漏跳了一拍; break心碎;melt融化;ache疼
7.关于foot/knee的动作:
dash/rush/ dart冲;
ri ( ro/ rin)to one’s feet站起来 ; struggle to one’s feet 吃力地站起来; jump to one’s feet 跳起来; / spring( sprang / sprung )to one’s feet 跳起来
kneel( knelt) down跪下; get down on one knee单膝跪地; slip( slipped ) / slide( slid.slid)滑到;sneak/creep( crept)偷偷走;crawl 爬;wobble/limp/stagger/stumble摇摇晃晃地走
二.添加修饰成分,做到生动描写
1. 可以添加介词短语或者副词来修饰动词。
with+情感名词的搭配:
with delight/excitement/ pleasure/ happiness /joy/satisfaction /anger/rage/patience/fear/terror/embarrassment/pride /caution/care/patience/certainty
如:Her eyes shone with excitement.她的眼睛中闪烁着兴奋的光芒。
with+身体部位
with its hungry red eyes/ its sharp teeth/her shaky hand/her pale lips等等
如:The ferocious wolf stared at Mac with its hungry red eyes.
此处用with its hungry red eyes来修饰动作stare,使狼凶狠的形象更加丰满。
如:She kisd Oliver with her pale lips.
此处用with her pale lips来修饰动作kiss,体现了母亲当时虚弱的状态,和对Oliver满满的爱。
in+名词 in surpri/amazement/shock/sorrow伤心
in a high /low / sweet/loud/soft /weak voice 用..的嗓音
In a tone of surpri /curiosity /impatience /regret /command命令/sarcasm讽刺 用...的语气
这个世界上有鬼吗如:He gazed at me in surpri.
副词 suddenly /immediately /instantly /rapidly /firmly /slowly /angrily/happily/excitedly/
如:He carefully jumped over the broken glass.
此处也可以把副词carefully提高句首,强调他的小心,效果更好。
高分表达:Carefully,he jumped over the broken glass.
2. 在动作描写中也可以运用明喻、暗喻、拟人、夸张等写作手法,让你的写作更加生动传神。
黑白卡通图片
She howled long and loud like a ferocious wolf and then jumped at Buck.
此句把她比作凶残的恶狼,用到了明喻的写作手法,使整句的动作描写更有力度,更有画面感。
She went home in a flood of tears.她泪如泉涌地回家去了。
此处在动作描写中添加了in a flood of tears夸张描写,生动传神地体现她当时的情感状态。
三.分解动作,形成动作链或者动作面
学生要学会分解动作,形成一个完成的动作链,比如浙江高考读后续写Mac遇到狼上车的动作,不是简单的get in the car就可以解决的,过于笼统的描述使描写空洞乏味,学生要善于捕捉这个关键的慢镜头,并将Mac的动作按照时间轴分解为jump off the bicycle——dash into the back at of the car——slam the door———lean against the at, breathless饱满的动作链,那动作链或者动作面有哪些形式呢?
1. 动作链的表达可用状语从句,如when,while,as,before,after引导的时间状语从句来体现。
When I arrived there, I walked to the door and knocked.
As I waited at the stop, I heard a big noi.
2.动作链的表达可用并列谓语动词来体现,即A and B或者 A, B and C。