Description
Sample Descriptive Paragraph 1心情短语大全
Original
This is a small room bathed in the golden rays of sunlight. When you enter the room, all the furniture and the white walls without decorations are in sight. A soft bed against the east wall takes over nearly half space of the room. A red wooden cabinet stands in the opposite direction bears an old television on its top. A corridor between the bed and the cabinet is occupied by an old bike. It ems that the cabinet is bullied by the army formed by the television and the bike. Passing through the corridor, you can reach the last furniture in the room. A simple desk with dozens of books under the window. It may take half an hour to find the definite one among the books, which are in a fearful mess, just like a battlefield left by naughty children. An aeolian bell hanging from the ceiling sings songs when gentle breeze across the window. Looking across the window, trees thick with leaves knit a green curtain for the room.
Problems identified
This is a small room bathed in the golden rays of sunlight ∧. When you enter the room, all the furniture and the white walls without decorations are in sight. A soft bed against the east wall takes over nearly half space of the room. A red wooden cabinet stands in the opposite direction bears an old television on its top. A corridor between the bed and the cabinet is occupied by an old bike. It ems that the cabinet is bullied by the army formed by the television and the bike. Passing through the corridor, you can reach the last furniture in the room. A simple desk with dozens of books ∧印堂有痣的女人 under the window. It may take half an hour to find the definite one among the books, which are in a fearful mess, just like a battlefield left by naughty children. An aeolian bell hanging from the ceiling sings songs when gentle breeze across the window. Looking across the window, trees thick with leaves knit a green curtain for the room.
Revid
Version 1 – language repaired, mainly
This is a small room bathed in the golden rays of sunlight [in fine weather]. On entering the room one种子的力量 es everything in it. The walls are painted white and free of decoration. A soft bed against the east wall 微信签名大全takes up nearly half the space. A red wooden cabinet stands in the opposite direction 写一封求职信bearing an old television on the top. The corridor formed between the bed and the cabinet is occupied by an old bike, and it ems that the cabinet is the bullying subject of the television and the bike. Passing the corridor one comes to 疏疏朗朗the last piece of furniture in the room, a simple desk with dozens of books on it under the window.逻辑的读音 The books look as if some naughty children have had a fight with them, causing one wonder how long it takes to find a wanted book from among the mess. An aeolian bell hanging from the ceiling will start to sing whenever a gentle breeze drifts in through the window, and the thick leaves of the trees outside are knitted into a green curtain [in summer time].
Version 2 – with a dominant impression
This is a small room bathed in the golden rays of sunlight in fine weather except in summ
er when the thick foliage of the trees outside the only window plays the curtain. On entering the room a visitor es everything in it and feels the touch of the young. Sheer white walls around a soft single/double bed against the wall on the east takes up nearly half the space. Opposite is a red wooden cabinet on which stands an old television. The corridor thus formed between the bed and cabinet is occupied by a bike, the handlebars and saddle free of dust. The cabinet, as a result, looks as if it is the bullying subject of the other two. At the far end of the corridor inside the window is the last piece of furniture in the room: a simple desk with dozens of books scattered on top of it, a miniature battle field derted by some naughty children. With all the noted one can not help gathering that this is a place for refreshing, reviving and restoring rather than for nesting, indulging and reveling particularly if a wind blowing in through the window fingures the aeolian bell hanging above the desk.
家乡巨变作文
Sample Descriptive Paragraph 2
Original
Each time when the long-expected summer vacation come along, I always feel like going back to my old classroom of the primary school where I can retrieve my lost happy childhood. The classroom stands towards the south, and we can even catch sight of the hill in the front of the school. A small garden was located in the front of the classroom. Some small incts with little vigilance would break into our childhood world such as ants in some occasions. Soon the poor and lovely creatures became our endless joy. We had eight windows in the classroom, so the classroom can always receive the sunshine of the morning. Moreover, we grow a small potted plant on each window, so they can share the sunshine and grow up with us together. We ud to read aloud in the morning, and this normal reading finally became certain competition of the voice that everyone hoped to become the loudest one and make others be a listener. In my memory, our classroom always keeps tidy and ordered in that our teacher would organize everyone to clean the room. We never let any corner of the classroom go. We everyone owns a desk and chair, and I like punching on the desk. And through the hole of desk, I could steal a gl
ance at the world inside the desk when I was taking an exam. So I always own a desk with a strange and exciting desk. Although our classroom is not spacious, we always like chasing each other crossing the desks and chairs that were arrayed orderly. Each recall of my childhood in the classroom reminds that this classroom is my happy space.
