高二下 “抚平狗狗心伤”读后续写讲评提纲
词汇库：
一、外貌描写
1. a pair of large watery eyes 一双水汪汪的大眼睛 2. two big round eyes 两只圆溜溜的大眼睛
3. beady/sparkling/twinkling eyes 小珠般圆亮的/亮晶晶的/闪闪发亮的眼睛
4. a no like a small black gem 一颗黑宝石般的鼻子
5. long/muscular/skinny/spindly legs 长的/肌肉发达的/皮包骨的/干瘦腿
6. its fur is as white as snow 皮毛像雪一样洁白 7. its little ears on the top of the head 头顶上长着对小耳朵
二、动作描写
wag the tail 摇尾巴 smell/sniff 嗅 bark/yap/yelp 狗吠 lick 舔
put the ears up 把耳朵竖起来 shake the whole body 抖动全身 bite the corner of the coat 咬住衣角
rub their necks and backs with their paws 用爪子摩擦它们的脖子和背部
hold it tightly with the paws 用爪子紧紧按住 fall on its back 摔得四脚朝天 run around me 围着我跑
keep scratching you with his front paws 用前爪不停挠你 rai its whole body on its hind legs 用后腿支起全身
leap to its feet 跳起来 rest the no in its paws 把鼻子搁在爪子里 keep its fore legs doubled up 保持前腿弯曲
三、句子
1. The dog has golden fur which feels very comfortable, like touching the soft cotton.
小狗有着金*的毛，摸着十分舒服，像是摸着柔软的棉花一样。
2. The dog clung to his feet and looked at him with bright eyes.
小狗紧贴着他的脚，用明亮的眼睛看着他。
3. The dog curled into a wet lump and lay shivering on the ground.
那只狗蜷成一团，躺在地上瑟瑟发抖。
范文 3篇
Version 1:
好听男网名Para 1: Dad opened the box and a sweet little dog appeared. It lifted(举起) and lowered（低下） its head alternately with caution（cautiously）, its eyes shining out of curiosity（独立主格）. “Say hello to your new friend, Poppy.” Dad said in an encouragi
ng voice. (人物语言描写) Poppy gave him a emingly knowing look肃亲王善耆, scratching（抓） the box with its front paw. (神态和动作描写，句式：现在分词作伴随状语)The little creature(小东西) slowly stood up, jumped out with pains-taking efforts and yapped around Poppy.（三连动） They sniffed each other like old friends. The parents gasped(倒抽气)in surpri even with kind of envy. They cannot imagine the two dogs enjoyed each other’s company in a blink of an eye（人物心理活动）.
Para 2怎么追射手男：A few weeks later the boy arrived home from university. He cannot wait to tell his parents about his new friends in the university. (拌生菜心情)Strangely, he wasn’t greeted with Poppy’s eager barking but an unbelievable scene(场景). The two dogs were tumbling（打滚）about on the floor. The hou was pulsating(跳动) with life.(焕发着勃勃生机) Parents came up, hugging his son. “One has to grow up in his new friends’ company. We should get ud to it.” Mom said half-jokingly, stroking(抚摸) his thin but determined face. (借人物的语言描写议论事件，升华主题，后半句句式现在分词作伴随状语) It can’t be sure enough. (160wds)
Version 2:
Para 1: Dad opened the box and a sweet little dog appeared. Poppy approached with caution（谨慎地靠近，这是试探的姿态），trying not to scare the puppy. (现在分词作伴随状语)Sure enough, it was only moments later that the ball of fur（小毛球，这个称号很恰当地描述了新来小狗的外貌特征） lifted its head out of the box to peek at（窥探）its new home and its new friend. Mom and Dad watched delightedly as the two made acquaintances. They were glad to e Poppy coming back to her usual lf, guiding the little dog on daily walks and even introducing to it her favorite toys.（从第三者的角度展开后续的叙事并添加旁观者的心理描写）
Para 2：A few weeks later, the boy arrived home from university. Hearing his bags unloaded on the driveway, Poppy’s ears pricked up(耳朵竖起来) and suddenly she was on all fours(趴在地上). The boy was greeted with a cheerful high-pitched bark. Then the front door popped open and Poppy darted to his embrace(扑进他的怀里), followed（过去分词作伴随状语） by the little one(小家伙) who licked his fingers fondly/affectionat
ely/with affection(深情地). Smiling ever so bright(现在分词作伴随状语), he called out to his parents, who tugged(拉) him in for a long hug. Despite the chill autumn wind, their home was filled with the warmth of love and reunion(团聚).（情景交融的描写）
Version 3：
Dad opened the box and a sweet little dog appeared. First a shiny little wet no popped up. Then two fluffy(毛茸茸的) paws.（省略句，细节描写，画面感很强）Next the box tipped over sideways(倒向一边), and out tumbled(打滚) a mass(团) of wiggly(扭来扭去) golden silliness.(倒装句) Poppy was amazed. She wagged furiously. She barked with joy. She smiled, her tongue lolling out as she investigated the surpri（独立主格）. The little pup was not shy and immediately starting yipping and jumping around the older dog. “That didn’t take long,”三角梅怎样修剪开花多 remarked Mom, as both dogs went roaring around the hou in an impr_omptu（即兴的） game of cha(追逐). Dad laughed. (本段句式多样，有省略句，倒装句，独立主格句式，而且长短交错，动作和神态描写非常细腻生动，
交相辉映)
A few weeks later, the boy arrived home from university. He had misd Poppy and was looking forward to eing her. （心理描写）When he bent down to give her a big hug, he fell over in surpri as a small golden cloud（前2篇范文里有没有类似的语言现象，有什么作用？）老鹰捉小鸡教案 came racing up（现在分词作方式状语） to lick his face too. “Oh my gosh, who is this?” he exclaimed. His parents laughed at the look of shock on his face.“That’s Pee-wee,” said Dad. “I can’t believe you got yourlves a puppy!” “We didn’t,” replied Mom. “This puppy is for Poppy!”(点题) (本段由心理描写，动作描写和语言描写构成，是典型的自然结尾，无需升华，一切尽在不言中。)
象棋经典残局
读后反思，从三篇范文中你学到了什么？
词汇和表达 | 句式积累（包含可背诵的金句） | 描写手法 |
狗的动作： 人的动作： 神态描写： 矮小的近义词 | | |
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原著赏析：
A Puppy for Poppy
by RV Staff Writer J.C.
“I’m going to miss you so much, Poppy,” said the tall, gangly teenager. He bent down to hug his old golden retriever farewell. He stood up, hugged his parents, and smiled, trying not to let his emotions get the better of him.
