AS GOOD AS IT GETSAS GOOD AS IT GETS
by
Mard Andrus
And
James J. Brooks
Story by
Mark Andrus
FADE IN:
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK), HALLWAY - NIGHT
ANGLE ON apartment doorway. As it opens and an
enormously SWEET-FACED, ELDER WOMAN steps out, bungled up
against the cold -- turning back to call inside to the
unen love of her long life.
SWEET-FACED WOMAN
I'm just going to get some
flowers, dear. I'll be back in
twenty minutes. It's tulip ason
today. I'm so happy.
And now she turns and faces her sweetness
dissolves in replaced by repulsion and that
quickly she has reverd herlf and re-entered her
< closing the door as we consider her vacated.
POV - MELVIN UDALL
in Well unliked, unloved,
unttling. A huge pain in the ass to everyone he's ever
met. Right now all his considerable talent and strength
is totally focud on ducing a tiny dog into the
elevator door he holds open.
MELVIN
Come here, come on.
ON DOG
Sniffing at a particular spot on the hall carpeting.
Melvin lets the elevator door clo and advances on the
mutt who has ignores him.
MELVIN
Wanna go for a ride? Okay,
sweetie?
The dog lifts his leg at the preci moment Melvin lunges
and picks him up with a decisive heft -- so that dog
urine squirts the hall wall for a cond or two. The DOG
nsing a kindred spirit starts to GROWL and BARK.
MELVIN
(a malevolent tone)
You've pisd your last floor, you
dog-eared monkey.
The dog takes a snap at Melvin, but the man is much
meaner and quicker than the dog -- he holds his snout
shut with his hand and reaches for the door of the
garbage chute.
MELVIN
I'll bet you wish you were some
sort of real dog now, huh? Don't
< this is New York. If you
can make it here, you can make it
anywhere, you know? You ugly,
smelly fuck.
And with that, he stuffs him in the garbage chute and
lets go. We hear a FADING SERIES of PLEADING "ANOOOOS"
from the DOG fade as another apartment
door opens emitting the loud sounds of a PARTY and SIMON
NYE, early 30s. Simon has been born and raid with
Gothic horror and it's strange that what that stew of
trauma has produced is a gifted, decent man.
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK), HALLWAY - NIGHT
< he bolts into Melvin is just about
to enter his apartment.
泥泞的小路SIMON
Verdell!?!! Here,
He notices Melvin at the far end of the hall.
SIMON
Mr. excu me. Hey
there!
(as Melvin turns)
Have you en Verdell?
MELVIN
What's h
e look like?
Melvin starts to walk back to his apartment door which is
directly opposite Simon's.
SIMON
I mean my
little dog with the adorable
< Don't you know what my dog
looks like?
MELVIN
I got it. You're talking about
your dog. I thought that was the
name of the colored man I've been
eing in the hall.
Simon looks O.S. -- and es his black friend.
SIMON
Which color was that?
MELVIN
Like thick molass, with one of
tho wide nos perfect for
smelling trouble and prison
<
Simon has had it.
SIMON
Frank Sachs -- Melvin Udall.
MELVIN
(not missing a beat)
How're you doing?
SIMON
Franks shows my work, Mr. Udall. I
think you know that.
FRANK
(overlapping)
Simon, you've got to get dresd.
MELVIN
(to Simon)
当幸福来敲门图片
What I know is that as long as you
keep your work zipped up around
me, I don't give a fuck what or
where you shove your show. Are we
being neighbors for now?
SIMON
(to Frank)
Do you still think I was
exaggerating?
领导方式FRANK can only smile.
FRANK
Definitely a package you don't
want to open or touch.
MELVIN
Hope you find him. I love that
dog.
Simon, terminally non-confrontational, still finds
himlf compelled to turn back toward Melvin.
SIMON
(directly)
You don't love anything, Mr.
Udall.
Simon clos his door leaving Melvin alone in the
hallway.
MELVIN
I love throwing your dog down the
garbage chute.
INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT, BATHROOM - NIGHT
Melvin locks and unlocks and locks his door, counting to
足银手镯five with each lock. He turns the lights quickly on and
off and on five times and makes a straight-line towards
his bathroom where he turns on the hot water and opens
the medicine chest.
INT. MEDICINE CHEST
Scores of neatly stacked Neutrogena soaps. He unwraps
one -- begins to wash -- discards it -- goes through the
process two more times.
INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT, ENTRANCE HALL - NIGHT
A group of PARTY GOERS enters -- followed by a HANDYMAN
holding Verdell who looks and finds:
SIMON
who looks up -- lights up -- and tears up as he moves
quickly toward the group and his dog.
SIMON
Thank the my
< where have you been?
PARTY GOER
(thinking the greeting's
for him)
He always liked me.
As Simon goes past him to take the dog from the
< JACKIE, Frank's junior partner, barking a
laugh at the Party Goer -- VERDELL BARKING some love. As
the others greet Simon, Jackie directs the group inside.
Ja
文竹的作文
ckie lingers, looking on affectionately as Simon picks
some awful, sticky gunk from the dog' he puts
Verdell down to reach for his wallet -- the tiny DOG YAPS
in protest.
SIMON
Just for a cond, okay?
The DOG YAPS "no." Simon, delighted, picks him up again.
SIMON
(kissing him on the mouth)
Look where was little
baby?
HANDYMAN
(smiling)
In the bament garbage bin eating
diaper shit.
Simon reacts -- then notices the Handyman, tongue in
cheek, trying to suppress his amument.
SIMON
Go ahead, John, you earned your fun.
(looking at Verdell)
How did he get down in the
bament? I mean even if he got
on the ?
HANDYMAN
Maybe some nice neighbor shoved
him down the garbage chute.
SIMON
My God! No!
He Frank frustrated following.
INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - OFFICE - NIGHT
Quiet -- safe -- just Melvin's voice reading aloud as he
writes.
MELVIN
'Somewhat in the dark, she had
confesd and he had forgiven.
This is what you live for, he
said. Two heads on a pillow where
there is only the safety of being
with each other. How, she
wondered, could she find such hope
in the most shameful part of her.'
He barely reacts as we hear a LOUD KNOCKING at he reads.
SIMON (O.S.)
Mr. Udall.
But Melvin's into it. His fingers flying as he reads.
MELVIN
'At last she was able to define
love. '
More KNOCKING.
SIMON (O.S.)
Mr. Udall, I'd like to talk to you
plea.
MELVIN
' '
He almost has the rest of the ntence -- the meaning of
love -- but the knocking throws him.
MELVIN
... Son-of-a-bitch-pansy-asd-
stool-pusher.
He burst from his chair.
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK) - HALLWAY - NIGHT
As Simon hears MELVIN through the door and takes a step
back. Melvin throws open the door. He looks demonic.
MELVIN
(loud and angry)
Yeeeess!!!
SIMON
Maybe this can wait.
Frank signals encouragement as Melvin opens the door.
SIMON
I found Verdell, Mr. Udall.
MELVIN
Well, that's a load off.
Melvin walks back into the apartment and is about to
clo the door when Simon has another burst of bravery.
SIMON
do something to him?
重门MELVIN
Do you realize that I work at
him?
SIMON
(eyes downcast)
No, I didn't.
MELVIN
Do you like to be interrupt when
you are danging around in your
little garden?
SIMON
< actually, I even shut the
phone off and put a little piece
of cardboard in the ringer so no
o
ne can just buzz me
MELVIN
Well, I work all the time. So
never, never again interrupt me.
Okay? I mean, never. Not 30
years not if there's
fire. Not even if you hear a thud
from inside my home and a week
later there's a smell from in
there that can only come from a
decaying body and you have to hold
a hanky against your face becau
the stench is so thick you think
you're going to faint even then
don't come knocking or, if it's
election night and you're excited
and want to celebrate becau some
fudge-packer you dated has been
elected the first queer President
of the and he's
going to put you up in Camp David
and you just want to share the
moment don't knock
... not on this door. Not for
anything. Got me. Sweetheart?
SIMON
Yes. It's not a subtle point
you're making.
MELVIN
Okay, then.
Melvin enters his apartment and slams the door shut.
SIMON
So the theory of confrontations is
that now he'll think twice before
messing with me?
Frank smiles affectionately. Simon turns rious.
路由器网址SIMON
He's genuinely uptting, isn't
he?
FRANK
Won't worry about it. You go
ahead.
Frank waits till Simon EXITS SCENE and then knocks loudly
on Melvin's door. There is a sharp change in his demeanor.
MELVIN (O.S.)
Oh, I'm pisd!! Now I am really
pisd!!!
Frank waits patiently as Melvin jerks his door back open.
Frank immediately grabs Melvin by his shirt and jerks him
< Melvin is scared. Operating on survival mode.
MELVIN
No touch. No touch. No touch.
FRANK
You may think you can intimidate
the whole world with your
attitude, but I grew up in Hell.
My grandmother had more attitude.
You don't intimidate me.
MELVIN
(calling)
Police! Police! Fucking crooked
< doughnut-munching morons
help me!
(to Frank)
Assault and battery and you're
black.
FRANK
Shhhh now. I like Simon. I like
him enough to batter you
unrecognizable if you verbally
abu him or so much as touch his
dog again. Meanwhile, I'll try
and think how you can make this up
to him.
(suddenly loud)
I hate doing this. I'm an art
dealer.
(beat)
Have a nice day. Party!
He toss Melvin back and walks out. Melvin straightens
his shirt as he steps out into the hall. Frank smiles as
he re-enters the other apartment. Melvin appears
impresd.
EXT. NEW YORK CITY STREET NEAR CAROL'S RESTAURANT - DAY
A crowded and dirty street and here comes Melvin. His
walk is brisk -- an animal wanting to pass through the
danger without giving off the scent of its mounting fear.
At times he places his palms together and extends his
arms cutting a path through people. We will be very
pointed in the fact that he avoids stepping on cracks.
CLOSER ON MELVIN
His eyes focud on the terrain.
INT. CAROL'S RESTAURANT - DAY
俗套ANGLE ON WAITRESS
CAROL CONNELLY talks with another MOTHER -- a customer.
You would not guess it, but her working hours tend to be
the most carefree time of the day. She is telling a
story about her son for the umpteenth time.
CAROL
(to the Mother's
little girl)
Look at you, you're all better.
MOTHER
It's that new medication.
CAROL
You know all my son's stuff,
right?
The Mother nods too sympathetically that she does, but
Carol interrupts her.
CAROL
No, no, no, I got a date tonight.
I'm walking out the door this
morning and he says to me, 'Mom,
I promi not to get one of my
fevers or coughs during your
date.'
MOTHER
Isn't that sweet.
CAROL
Little blonde angle.
(to child,
affectionately)
Eat everything.
Melvin enters and moves past veral empty tables to a
table towards the back and is obviously surprid to find
a MAN and WOMAN sitting at the table.
WOMAN
It just came out of me. I said
you love me the way a remote
control loves a TV. As long as I
switch
HER MALE COMPANION
Wonderful.
MELVIN
People who talk in metaphors can
shampoo my crotch.
(on their look)
Eat up.
They turn away -- Melvin walks a few paces to the
waitress station where two waitress, LISA and CAROL,
are talking.
LISA
Pay me back next week.
CAROL
I owe you. I told
them's the rules. Oh, excu me,
Melvin.
She puts two hands lightly on his waist to move him out
of the way. He gulps at the contact (since no one el
ever touches him) but covers his lf-consciousness.
MELVIN
I'm starving.
CAROL
(firmly to Lisa)
Will you plea take it?
Melvin intentionally moves a step in her path, with
stealth, so that she must touch him again to get him out
of
LISA
This way you take a cab home so
you have time to get ready for the
date.
CAROL
"Ready" is not my problem.
She barks a mirthless though hearty laugh. If we could
read Melvin which we can't, we'd e him unttled by the
date talk. To Carol he is as harmless as furniture.
CAROL
(to Melvin)
Go sit down. You know you're not
allowed Spencer's
more excited about it than
He says,
