THE BIG BANG THEORY
by
Chuck Lorre & Bill Prady
Season 2, Episode 4 (s02e04) Title: The Griffin Equivalency
---> Dialog only <---
LEONARD: Let's e, Raj was the “Kung Pao” chicken.
PENNY: I'm the dumplings.山鸡
HOWARD: Yes, you are.
PENNY: Creepy, HOWARD.
李琪琪
HOWARD: Creepy good or creepy bad?
LEONARD: Who was the shrimp with lobster sauce?
HOWARD: That would be me. Come to papa, you un-kosher delight. I'm not necessarily talking to the food.
PENNY: Sit over there.
SHELDON: Sit over there. Baby wipe?
PENNY: Why do ?
LEONARD: No, don't ask.
HOWARD: No, don't, don't.
SHELDON: I'll tell you why. I had to sanitize my hands becau the university replaced the paper towels in the rest rooms with hot-air blowers.
PENNY: Oh, I thought the blowers were more sanitary.
HOWARD: Why?
LEONARD: Really, don't.
SHELDON: Hot-air blowers are incubators and spewers of bacteria and pestilence. Frankly, it'd be more hygienic if they just had a plague-infested gibbon sneeze my hands dry.
RAJESH: Hey, guys, I just got the most
PENNY: Gosh, Raj, do you think you'll ever be able to talk in front of me without being drunk? Okay, well, I'll just, um, go eat by mylf.
LEONARD: PENNY , you don't have to do that.
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PENNY: No, it's okay. Between him not talking, him talking I'm better off alone. So, goodbye, you poor, strange little man.
RAJESH: She's so considerate.
HOWARD: So, what's your news?
RAJESH: Remember that little planetary object I spotted beyond the Kuiper belt?
秋天是什么样的季节
RAJESH: Or as I call it, Planet Bollywood. Anyway, becau of my discovery, People Magazine is naming me one of their 30 Under 30 to Watch.
LEONARD: Raj, that's incredible.
HOWARD: Congratulations.
LEONARD: That's incredible.
SHELDON: Excu me, 30 what under 30 what to watch what?
RAJESH: 30 visionaries under 30 years of age to watch as they challenge the preconceptions of their fields.
SHELDON: If I had a million guess, I never would have gotten that.
RAJESH: It's pretty cool. They've got me in with a guy who's doing something about hunger in Indonesia, and a psychotherapist who's using dolphins to rehabilitate prisoners, and Ellen Page, star of the charming independent film “Juno“.
HOWARD: Oh, I'd so do her.
LEONARD: You'd do the dolphins.
HOWARD: Do I get an honorable mention for designing the telescope camera mounting bracket you ud?
RAJESH: Sorry, it's not part of my heartwarming and personal narrative in which a humble boy from New Delhi overcame poverty and prejudice and journeyed to America to reach for the stars. HOWARD: Poverty? Your father's a gynecologist. He drives a Bentley.
RAJESH: It's a lea.
SHELDON: I'm confud. Was there some sort of peer-review committee to determine which scientists would be included?
RAJESH: Peer review? It's People Magazine. People picked me.
SHELDON: What people?
RAJESH: The people from People.
SHELDON: What? Yeah, but exactly who are the people? What are their credentials? How are they qualified? What makes accidentally noticing a hunk of rock that's been traipsing around the sola
r system for billions of years more noteworthy than any other scientific accomplishment made by someone under 30?
RAJESH: Boy, I'll bet Ellen Page's friends aren't giving her this kind of crap.
LEONARD: You proud of yourlf?
SHELDON: In general, yes.
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=========== THEME SONG ==========
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SHELDON: Oh, there's my missing neutrino. You were hiding from me as an unbalanced charge, weren't you, you little subatomic dickens?
LEONARD: Hey, SHELDON.
SHELDON: Hey, look, look, I found my missing neutrino.
HOWARD: Oh, good, we can take it off the milk carton.
LEONARD: We're gonna go apologize to Raj and invite him out to dinner.
SHELDON: Apologize? For what?
LEONARD: He came over last night with some pretty good news and we weren't very supportive. SHELDON: I n you're trying to tell me something.
HOWARD: You were a colossal asshat.
LEONARD: Really? Do tell.
SHELDON: How will Raj ever reach true greatness if his friends lower the bar for him? When I was 11, my sister bought our father a …world's greatest dad“ coffee mug. And frankly, the man coasted until the day he died.
LEONARD: Okay, let's try it this way. What if this People Magazine thing is the best Raj is ever going to achieve?
SHELDON: I had not considered that.
LEONARD: Mm-hm. Come on.
SHELDON: I often forget other people have limitations. It's so sad.
白萝卜怎么炒HOWARD: He can feel sadness?
LEONARD: Not really. It's what you and I would call condescension. Now, when we go in there, let's show Raj that we're happy for him.
SHELDON: But I'm not.
HOWARD: Well, then fake it. Look at me. I could be grinding on the fact that without my stabilizing telescope mount he never would have found that stupid, little clump of cosmic schmutz. But I'm bigger than that.
SHELDON: Fine. What do you want me to do?
LEONARD: Smile.
HOWARD: Oh, crap, that's terrifying.
LEONARD: We're here to e Koothrappali, not kill Batman.
HOWARD: Try less teeth.
LEONARD: Clo enough. Come on.
LEONARD: Hey, Raj.
RAJESH: Hey, guys. What's up?
HOWARD: We just wanted to invite you out to dinner tonight.
LEONARD: Celebrate your 30 Under 30 thing. Right, SHELDON?
RAJESH: It's very nice of you. I would like that.
DR. GABLEHAUSER: Hello, boys.
RAJESH: Dr. Gablehaur.
DR. GABLEHAUSER: Dr. Koothrappali.
LEONARD: Dr. Gablehaur.
DR. GABLEHAUSER: Dr. Hofstader.
SHELDON: Dr. Gablehaur.
DR. GABLEHAUSER: Dr. Cooper.
HOWARD: Dr. Gablehaur.
DR. GABLEHAUSER: Mr. Wolowitz. Boys, I've got a question for you. Who in this room discovered a star?
RAJESH: Actually, 2008-NQ sub-17 is a planetary body.
DR. GABLEHAUSER: I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about me. And you, my exotic young friend, are my star.
SHELDON: But you didn't discover him. You merely noticed he was here, much like he did with 2008-NQ sub-17.
LEONARD: SHELDON.
DR. GABLEHAUSER: Well, we gotta get you into a better office. Something more suited to your status.
RAJESH: Really, you don't have to go to any trouble.
DR. GABLEHAUSER: How about if I put you in von Gerlach's old office?
RAJESH: I'd rather have Fishbein's. It's bigger.
DR. GABLEHAUSER: Done.
HOWARD: Wait a minute, I called dibs on Fishbein's office the day he started showing up at work in his bathrobe.
SHELDON: He gets a new office, I can't even get paper towels in the mens' room? LEONARD: SHELDON.
SHELDON: Damn, this is hard.
DR. GABLEHAUSER: Let me ask you something, what do you think the business of this place is? LEONARD: Science.
DR. GABLEHAUSER: Money.
痴男怨女鼻子发红怎么办HOWARD: Told you.
DR. GABLEHAUSER: And this boy's picture in People Magazine is gonna rai us a pile of money Well, taller than you.
HOWARD: I have a Master's degree.
DR. GABLEHAUSER:Who doesn't? Dr. Koothrappali, have you ever had lunch in the president's dining room?
RAJESH: I didn't even know there was a president's dining room.
DR. GABLEHAUSER: It's the same food as the cafeteria, only fresh. Come on, little buddy. RAJESH: Okay, big buddy. See you tonight, guys.
LEONARD: You can stop smiling now.
SHELDON: Ah.
RAJESH: So anyway, after a fantastic lunch, I was whisked off to the People Magazine Have any of you boys ever been to a photo shoot?
LEONARD: Uh-uh.
HOWARD: No.
RAJESH: It's fantastic. Apparently, the camera loves me and I, it. They shot me in front of a starry background where I pod like this. They're going to digitally add a supernova. They say it's the perfect metaphor for my incandescent talent.
SHELDON: Right, a ball of hot, flaming gas that collaps upon itlf.
猪肉芹菜水饺RAJESH: Excu me. Oh, it's my assistant, Trevor. Go for koothrappali. Uh-huh.
HOWARD: They gave him an assistant? If I want a new pen, I have to go to the bank with wire cutters.
SHELDON: Have we at this point met our social obligations?
LEONARD: Not yet.
RAJESH: Okay, just put it on my calendar, but start thinking of a reason why I can't go. Alrighty? Koothrappali out. God bless that boy. I don't know what I'd do without him.
LEONARD: You just got him this afternoon.
RAJESH: Yes, but I'm finding that having a lackey suits me.
LEONARD: A lackey?
RAJESH: Oh, I'm sorry. Is that politically incorrect? In India, we just call them untouchables. SHELDON: Now?
RAJESH: Speaking of untouchables, I've got great news for you guys. People Magazine is having a reception this Saturday and I managed to get you invited.
HOWARD: Oh, gee, thanks.
RAJESH: Oh, you're welcome. Of cour, I couldn't get you into the VIP ction becau, you know, that's for VIPs and you guys are just, you know, P's.
SHELDON: There's a tribe in Papua New Guinea where, when a hunter flaunts his success to the rest of the village, they kill him and drive away evil spirits with a drum made of his skin. Superstitious nonn, of cour, but one can e their point.
PENNY: Here you go, Raj. You might wanna drink this one slowly.
RAJESH: Okay. So, Saturday night, can I count on my pos?
HOWARD: Gee, I'd love to, Raj, but I can't make it.
RAJESH: Oh, okay. LEONARD?
LEONARD: Well, uh... No, no.
RAJESH: SHELDON?
SHELDON: I can make it, but I won't.
PENNY: What are you guys talking about?
RAJESH: Well, there's a reception for my magazine article on Saturday.
PENNY: And you guys aren't going? I can't believe you. Raj is celebrating a tremendous accomplishment and you're not even gonna be there to support him?
SHELDON: A tremendous accomplishment would be if the planetary body he discovered were plummeting toward earth and he exploded it with his mind.
HOWARD: That would be cool. I'd go to that reception.
PENNY: Come on, this is huge. Raj is gonna be in People Magazine, and he didn't even have to knock up one of the Spears sisters.
RAJESH: Would you like to go with me?
PENNY: Of cour I would. I would be honored.
RAJESH: Really? Cool.
PENNY: Shame on you guys.
RAJESH: Look at that, I got a date with PENNY. I can't believe it took you a whole year. SHELDON: Now?
LEONARD: Now.
RAJESH: Hey, buddy. I'm gonna be in People Magazine.
CHARLIE SHEEN: Yeah, call me when you're on the cover.
PENNY: Oh, Raj, look at you.
RAJESH: I know. I'm resplendent like the noonday sun, am I not?
PENNY: Um, yeah. Starting with the champagne a little early, aren't you?
RAJESH: It was in the limo. They nt a limo. I have a limo. I just love saying limo. Here. Sip on this while you're getting ready.
PENNY: Oh, I'm ready.
RAJESH: That's what you're wearing?
PENNY: Um, yeah. Why, what's wrong with it?
RAJESH: Nothing. I was just hoping for something a little more, you know, ridonkulous. PENNY: Yeah. Well, this is all the donkulous you're gonna get tonight.
RAJESH: Okey-dokey. Let's roll. All right, it's time to rai the roof. Ooh-ooh.
PENNY: Hey, LEONARD.
