50 First Dates script
So tell me. How was Hawaii?
- It was unbelievable. - Oh, yeah? 面相痣图解女
- Well, what happened? - I met this guy.
It was the best week of my life.
It was just a little vacation romance.
But he was so sweet.
He took me to all the cool local places.
We went
- Snorkeling. - Mountain climbing.
We went cliff diving.
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Well, we got a little drunk.
- He - A back rub.
We
...in the rain.
But it wasn't just about the x.
He pounded me like a mallard duck.
It ended kind of weird, though.
When I asked for his number, he said
- Married. - Gay.
- Entering the priesthood. - He doesn't believe in phones.
He just kind of ran away.
You know, it was just a little fling,
I won't forget
...with Henry Roth.
- Henry Roth. - Harry.
Harry Paratesticles.
- Henry Roth. - Henry Roth.
- Henry Roth. - Henry Roth.
Henry Roth, why didn't you tell me you were a cret agent?
I prefer intelligence operative, and I couldn't tell you until I knew you.
Well, can I call you when I land? 上杉景胜
You can call me, but I'll be in Peru. I said that a little loud.
Come on, that's a 187, code blue. We got the wolf sleeping at night.
He's slipping his arm in the drawer and out comes the cookie jar. All clear.
Got it?
Well, maybe when you get back from Peru.
- I don't think that's an option, Lisa. - Linda.
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I know. I changed your name for your protection.
We have to go our parate ways now.
Well, goodbye.
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Got it! Moving out!
- What the hell is your problem? - Just keep going, I'll give you $20.
- You got it. How's your balls? - Killing me. Hit it.
Easy, Honah Lee.
Hey, I'm a person, not a al.
Well, I am a vet, not a doctor. So just hold still, or I won't give you a treat.
I know, it's okay. You e that, kids?
You e what happens when you play with sharks?
Now, why you gotta spread tho lies? Sharks are like dogs.
They only bite when you touch their private parts.
That's a good title for my documentary.
Sharks: They Only Bite When You Touch Their Private Parts.
Or you could call it, Sharks: They Tried to Eat My Kidney.
All right, enough already. You too, Willie.
All of you.
He just cast a spell on us.
All right. Put this on four times a day for two weeks.
- You can handle that. - What's wrong with that turtle?
Lung problems becau he smoked too much
...which is bad for you. Right, Ula?
What? I don't smoke weed.
Hey, Honah Lee? How's that hot wahine nympho from Ohio?
Great. I dropped her off at the airport this morning.
Come on, I need some details.
You get some booby, some assy, a pull on your poi-poi? Come on.
Daddy, what's a nympho?
Oh. The nympho is the state bird of Ohio.
You're the state idiot of Hawaii.
Here you go. Bite the fish, chew the fish, love the fish. Enjoy.
大学生创业平台- You crack me up, kamaaina. - Oh, yeah?
- One of - Yeah?
...you'll show one of tho tourists such a
...she'll wanna stay on the island.
Why do you say mean things
...and why is your foot on my pillow?
I don't want your ass on it, either. Get up! Get up!
It could happen.
Then you won't be able to go on your boat trip to Alaska.
You'll be stuck here, waking up next to the same old, ugly broad, just like Ula.
- Just kidding, guys. - About the old part or the ugly part?
Henry, come quickly! It's Jocko!
尉迟恭和秦琼Jocko! What's going on with you, buddy?
Don't be scared. Everything's gonna be fine.
Just stay calm. All right.
Willie, I don't need you to e this. Get out of here, now!
Okay, check the temperature of the pool. Go! Hurry!
What are you doing? I meant check the thermometer!
正月十三日Give me a hand. Let's go!
Get me two fish from the barrel. Now.
- Okay. - Just hang in there.
- Here. - It's gonna be all right.
That's a little warm. Go to the bottom of the barrel, plea.
Okay, there. That's good. Thank you.
Come on, buddy, take it. Take it.
- He's not responding! - I know, Alexa!
Sorry, I smacked you. You needed the fish-slap to calm down.
- Do you understand? Are you calm? - Yes. Fish-slap calm me.
I'm gonna try to get him
...so I need your face next to his mouth to e if it's working.
