读后续写寒冷的冬日和温暖的心 讲义 2023届高考英语作文备考

更新时间:2023-06-13 02:23:53 阅读: 评论:0

什么全其美的成语
It was a rough week. The price of oil skyrocketed as the temperature dropped sharply in Maine. We were looking at a high of eight degrees that week, and I had misd three days of work so my paycheck was going to be lower than normal. I was stresd, to say the least. I shopped strategically, looking for every possible way to cut pennies so I could buy groceries and keep the hou warm.
My eight-year-old son didn't understand when I told him we were struggling that week. He wanted a special kind of yoghurt, but I didn't have the extra three dollars to buy it for him. It was the kind of yoghurt with a cartoon kid riding a skateboard on the front of the box, and a mere two spoonfuls in each cup. It was the kind of product that wastes a parent's money and makes me hate advertising.
I felt guilty as a parent when tho big eyes looked at me with confusion, as if to say,“It's just yoghurt. What's the big deal? So I found a way. I put something back as single mothers often do. He got his yoghurt.
On the way driving back from the grocery store, I noticed a homeless man holding a sign by
the side of the road. My heart hurt, and I tried not to look at him. I watched people stay away from him on the street and walk by without even meeting his eyes. My son didn't em to care much, either. I looked at the man cloly then bare hands grasping a piece of cardboard, snot (鼻涕)frozen to his face, a worn out jacket. And there I was struggling becau I had to buy oil and groceries. But I decided to help. I pulled over to the man and handed him a five-dollar bill.
Para 1: Seeing this, my son became confud and surprid.
Para 2: 个人微信号怎么推广On that day, my son performed an act that most adults wouldn’t have done.
Paragraph 1payphone
Seeing this, my son became confud and surprid.
(首段剧情由第一段和第二段提示语决定首尾。
结合前情,母亲在超市给孩子买酸奶时多有犹豫,但此时却如此大方,让年幼的孩子很有些困惑。第二段提示语则是孩子做出了暖心之举。
所以首段剧情在母子二人间展开时,肯定会起到让孩子理解母亲举动的作用,从而激发孩子的善心善行。
那么具体该如何设计呢?我的两个版本各有其侧重,也有共通之处。
下面进入分句精析。)
“Mom, why were you unwilling to buy me yogurt but would give a complete stranger 5 dollars? ” my son questioned.
(第一句从逻辑上承接提示语,点明小男孩为何困惑,引出下文。语言上,小男孩直抒胸臆,且和前文呼应。唏嘘怎么读
句尾采用questioned,而不是asked,避免落入俗套。有询问意味的词语还包括, inquire, grill, interrogate, demand, request等,不过使用时需要辨明词意,力求恰当。)
Turning off the AC, I then rolled down the pasnger side windows. Within conds, the blustering wind began to make us shiver.
(面对孩子的问题,妈妈该如何回答呢?有两种基本思路。
1.可以让妈妈直接开口。但这会和上一句话构成长达数十个单词的连续的对话。连续对话说教意味浓,缺少读者参与,阅读乐趣低。
2.可以在妈妈说话前,插入其他要素,如动作和环境,让读者可以透过这些窥探角色的语言动机和心理,调动读者的五感,丰富阅读乐趣。
此处,我才用了第二种。借助外面正在飘雪的环境特点,我首先设计让妈妈关掉空调,摇下窗户。当凌烈的风灌进来,二人都开始发抖时,妈妈再开口。尽力让孩子不只是“听有所得”,更“感同身受”。
此处形容风之烈,我用了blustering,牛津这样解释bluster (of the wind 风) to blow violently 狂吹;咆哮”。
I turned to my son, “Honey, we are trying to keep the hou running but he is strug
gling to survive on the street. That money makes a bigger difference to him in this brutal winter.”
郝梦龄(此处妈妈的解释采用对比的手法。
材料第一段说妈妈这周生病,且缅因这周只有华氏8度(摄氏零下13度),所以她在各处节省,以保证家的正常运转。这是第一句keep the hou running. 
但如此冷的天,路边这个赤手的男人却可能面临着生存的挑战。所以这酷寒中,5美元对他来说比对“我们”的意义更大。
以此,动之以情,晓之以理。)
写桃花的诗
Hearing the words, my son gazed at the yogurt on his lap.
(面对母亲的解释,孩子没有用言语回应,而是低头看去。这个动作描写丰富元素的同时,也增加了阅读乐趣。它不仅反映了孩子的心理变化,也为下文孩子的行为作出铺垫。
Paragraph 2
On that day, my son performed an act that most adults wouldn’t have done.
读后续写情节发展:
此处孩子会做什么去帮助这个路人呢?比如,他是解下自己的围巾,把自己的小毯子送给他,下去给他一个拥抱,还是把自己的酸奶分给他呢?
常见的续写误区之一,就是角色做出了在前文没有线索铺垫的举动,无中生有。
伏笔1:前文重点描写了母子二人购买酸奶的经历,所以尽管冬日里,送酸奶没送围巾和小毯子更能带来暖意,却是逻辑上更有呼应性的设计。)
Determinedly, my son handed the yogurt to the man through the open window and smiled broadly, “It’s for you, Sir. May my yogurt keep you warm.”
(坚定地,小男孩把自己的酸奶送给了这个路人。
Determinedly这个词其实很妙。这个词意思是坚定,但体现的却是人物心理的挣扎。
伏笔2:前文铺垫了小男孩忽闪着大眼睛向妈妈请求才得到的珍爱的酸奶,要送给别人一定多有不舍。所以此处我用了determinedly敬哀皇后,显出孩子的不舍,但在这种不舍下的分享,才更加珍贵。
但悲不见九州同的上一句小孩子的语言用smiled broadly引入,营造稚童天真可爱的形象,让人心中一暖。)
The scene melted my heart.
(此处我没有去写路人的反应,而是聚焦妈妈的心理描写,她的心都化了。“我说的,儿子收到了,并且做得很棒!”一种骄傲油然而生。)
On our way home, my son was excited for he experienced the joy of helping others. Yet after a while, he became silent on the backat as if thinking about something.
此处构造了一组反差。
助人之后,感受到分享之乐的孩子很是激动,但不一会儿,他又安静了下来。读者不禁要问为什么呢?
用动静之对比设置悬念,进一步增加了阅读乐趣。)
It wasn’t until we reached home that he broke the silence, “Mom, I now understand what struggling means. Thank you for everything.”

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