UNIT 1 PASSAGES OF HUMAN GROWTH (I)
1 A person’s life at any given time incorporates both external and internal aspects. The external system is compod of our memberships in the culture: our job, social class, family and social roles, how we prent ourlves to and participate in the world. The interior realm concerns the meanings this participation has for each of us. In what ways are our values, goals, and aspirations being invigorated or violated by our prent life system? How many parts of our personality can we live out, and what parts are we suppressing? How do we feel about our way of living in the world at any given time?
2 The inner realm is where the crucial shifts in bedrock begin to throw a person off balance, signaling the necessity to change and move on to a new footing in the next stage of development. The crucial shifts occur throughout life, yet people consistently refu to recognize that they posss an internal life system. Ask anyone who ems down, “Why are you feeling low?” Most will displace the inner message onto a marker event: “I’ve been down since we moved, since I changed jobs, since my wife went back t
o graduate school and turned into a damn social worker in sackcloth,” and so on. Probably less than ten percent would say: “There is some unknown disturbance within me, and even though it’s painful, I feel I have to stay with it and ride it out.” Even fewer people would be able to explain that the turbulence they feel may have no external cau. And yet it may not resolve itlf for veral years.
3 During each of the passages, how we feel about our way of living will undergo subtle changes in four areas of perception. One is the interior n of lf in relation to others. A cond is the proportion of safeness to danger we feel in our lives. A third is our perception of time—do we have plenty of it, or are we beginning to feel that time is running out? Last, there will be some shift at the gut level in our n of aliveness or stagnation. The are the hazy nsations that compo the background tone of living and shape the decisions on which we take action.
4 The work of adult life is not easy. As in childhood, each step prents not only new tasks of development but requires a letting go of the techniques that worked before. With
each passage some magic must be given up, some cherished illusion of safety and comfortably familiar n of lf must be cast off, to allow for the greater expansion of our own distinctiveness.
城改房
Pulling Up Roots 色吻
5 Before 18, the motto is loud and clear: “I have to get away from my parents.” But the words are ldom connected to action. Generally still safely part of our families, even if away at school, we feel our autonomy to be subject to erosion from moment to moment.
寻求自立
6 After 18, we begin Pulling Up Roots in earnest. College, military rvice, and short-term travels are all customary vehicles our society provides for the first round trips between family and a ba of one’s own. In the attempt to parate our view of the world from our family’s view, despite vigorous protestations to the contrary—“I know exactly what I want!”— we cast about for any beliefs we can call our own. And in the process of t
esting tho beliefs we are often drawn to fads, preferably tho most mysterious and inaccessible to our parents.
7 Whatever tentative memberships we try out in the world, the fear haunts us that we are really kids who cannot take care of ourlves. We cover that fear with acts of defiance and mimicked confidence. For allies to replace our parents, we turn to our contemporaries. They become 诲人不倦的意思conspirators. So long as their perspective meshes with our own, they are able to substitute for the sanctuary of the family. But that doesn’t last very long. And the instant they diverge from the 游戏案例shaky老师要稳住 ideals of “our group”, they are en as betrayers. Rebounds to the family are common between the ages of 18 and 22.
8 The tasks of this passage are to locate ourlves in a peer group role, a x role, an anticipated occupation, an ideology or world view. As a result, we gather the impetus猪肉白菜炖粉条 to leave home physically and the identity to begin leaving home emotionally.
9 Even as one part of us eks to be an individual, another part longs to restore the safety and comfort of merging with another. Thus one of the most popular myths of this p
assage is: We can piggyback our development by attaching to a Stronger One. But people who marry during this time often prolong financial and emotional ties to the family and relatives that 城堡简笔画带颜色impede them from becoming lf-sufficient.
10 A stormy passage through the Pulling Up Roots years will probably facilitate the normal progression of the adult life cycle. If one doesn’t have an identity crisis at this point, it will erupt during a later transition, when the penalties may be harder to bear.
The Trying Twenties
11 The Trying Twenties confront us with the question of how to take hold in the adult world. Our focus shifts from the interior turmoils of late adolescence—“Who am I?” “What is truth?”—and we become almost totally preoccupied with working out the externals. “How do I put my aspirations into effect?” “What is the best way to start?” “Where do I go?” “Who can help me?” “How did you do it?”
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