The Chine Mother
A lot of people wonder how Chine parents rai such stereo-typically successful kids.They wonder what the parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music 手表英文prodigies, what it’s like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, becau I’ve done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
• attend a sleepover• have a playdate• be in a school play• complain about not being in a school play• watch TV or play computer games
• choo their own extracurricular activities• get any grade less than an A
• not be the #1 student in every subject except gym and drama
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin• not play the piano or violin.
I’m using the term “Chine mother” looly. I recently met a super-successful white guy fro
m South Dakota , and after comparing notes we decided滥竽充数什么意思 that his working-class father had definitely been a Chine mother. I know some Korean, Indian, Jamaican, Irish, and Ghanaian parents who qualify too. Converly, I know some mothers of Chine heritage, almost always born in the West, who are not Chine mothers, by choice or otherwi.
I’m also using the term “Western parents” looly. Western parents come in all varieties. Some are strict; others are lax. All the same, even when Western parents think they’re being strict, they usually don’t come clo to being Chine mothers. For example, my Western friends who consider形容感动的词语 themlves strict make their children practice their instruments thirty minutes every day. An hour at most. For a Chine mother, the first hour is the easy part. It’s hours two and three that get tough.
Despite our squeamishness about cultural stereotypes, there are tons of studies out there白夜行的结局分析 showing marked and quantifiable differences between Chine and Westerners when it comes to parenting. In one study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chine immig
rant mothers, almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that “stressing academic success is not good for children” or that “parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun.” By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chine mothers felt the same way. Other studies indicate that compared to Western parents, Chine parents spend approximately ten times as long every day drilling academic activities with their children. By contrast, Western kids are more likely to participate in sports teams.
This brings me to my final point. Some might think that the American sports parent is an analog to the Chine mother. This is so wrong. Unlike your typical Western over-scheduling soccer mom, the Chine mother believes that (1) schoolwork always comes first; (2) an A-minus is a bad grade; (3) your children must be two years ahead of 移动支付的优点their classmates in math; (4) you must never compliment your children in public; (5) if your child ever disagrees with a teacher or coach, you must always take the side of the teacher or coach; (6) the only activities your children should be permitted to do are tho in which
they can eventually win a medal; and (7) that medal must be gold.
Sophia
Sophia is my firstborn daughter. My husband, Jed, is Jewish, and I’m Chine, which makes our children Chine-Jewish-American, an ethnic group that may sound exotic but actually forms a majority in certain circles, especially in university towns.
Sophia’s name in English means “wisdom,” as does Si Hui, the Chine name my mother gave her. From the moment Sophia was born, she displayed a rational temperament and exceptional powers of concentration.
Sophia（She） excelled in nurry school, particularly in math. While the other kids were learning to count from 1 to 10 the creative American way—with rods, beads, and cones—I taught Sophia addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, fractions, and decimals the rote Chine way. By the time Sophia was three, she was reading Sartre, doing simple t theory, and could write one hundred Chine characters. (Jed’s translation: She recognized the words “No Exit,” could draw two overlapping circles, and okay maybe on the Chine characters.) As I watched American parents slathering 皇子上单prai on their kids fo
r the lowest of tasks—drawing a squiggle or waving a stick—I came to e that Chine parents have two things over their Western counterparts: (1) higher dreams for their children, and (2) higher regard for their children in the n of knowing how much they can take.
Of cour, I also wanted Sophia to benefit from the best aspects of American society. I did not want her to end up like one of tho weird Asian automatons who feel so much pressure from their parents that they kill themlves after coming in cond on the national civil rvice exam. I wanted her to be well rounded and to have hobbies and activities. Not just any activity, like “crafts,” which can lead nowhere—or even wor, playing the drums, 舍近求远which leads to drugs—but rather a hobby that was meaningful and highly difficult with the
potential for depth and virtuosity.带思的诗句
And that’s where the piano came in.In 1996, when she was three, Sophia got two new things: her first piano lesson, and a little sister.
Louisa
There’s a country music song that goes, “She’s a wild one with an angel’s face.” That’s my
