Jealousy妒忌
When it comes to ruining friendships, few emotions beat the green-eyed monster, jealousy. What makes it so powerful—and so potentially destructive? With everyone from parents to teachers to TV shows telling you to “just be yourlf,” a sudden longing to be more like somebody el can be confusing! Your lf-confidence suffers. You start worrying that you’re not “good enough,” even though you were good enough just yesterday. Then the rentment creeps in: “She’s so perfect! She gets everything, and I get nothing.” And to top it off5, you feel guilty, too. How can you rent someone el’s success or good fortune like that—especially if she’s your friend? (What kind of person are you, anyway?) Between being down on6 yourlf, renting your friend, and the guilt, you’re totally mirable…and as if that isn’t bad enough, your friendship suffers, too.
Yet jealousy is perfectly normal. In fact, it’s a pretty safe bet that every single girl you know has felt it. After all, we live in a competitive world, where girls are expected to strive to be “the best” (even while they’re being themlves!). Seeing someone who is better at anything can sting, even if we know deep down7 that nobody’s perfect.
武汉早点 So what can you do about it? You can’t help feeling jealous, right? Maybe not, but you can keep jealousy from running your life. The key is to stop it from turning into all tho other thoughts and feelings. And the first step to doing that is to own up to8 the feeling—at least to yourlf. Just admit it: You’re jealous! (Was that so hard?)
冰心的散文集 The next step? Remind yourlf that feeling jealous has nothing to do with being “good enough.” No matter how talented or beautiful or accomplished, every human being feels jealous sometimes, not just tho of us who aren’t good enough—whatever that means. If you can truly accept that everyone has both talents and flaws, you’ll e that it’s pointless to focus all your powerful energy on wishing you were someone more perfect, becau there’s just no such thing.
Now let’s go back to the idea that you can’t help how you feel. That’s certainly true enough…but you can help how you act on tho feelings. If you want your friendships to survive the occasional attack of the green-eyed monster, it’s important to understand that jealousy is never an excu for treating a friend badly. Is it your BFF’s9 fault that she mak
es every basket she throws or can sing like Kelly Clarkson? Of cour not! So don’t pout or brood or bite her head off10…instead, turn that jealousy into a compliment. Did she make an awesome11 catch today? Does her new haircut make her look like a movie star? Tell her so! Believe it or not, you’ll feel better—and she will, too.分手在那个秋天
研学心得
The Flip Side12
But what about tho times when you’re the object of envy? What if your friend is the one who’s jealous—and handling it badly? You can’t change her behavior, but you can act in ways that will make her feel better and help save your friendship, too.
Don＇t try to convince anyone that you＇re perfect．
Sometimes we feel as though we have to be perfect to be loved, but think about it: Do y
ou want your friends to be flawless? Don’t think so! So let your buds13 in on the truth: You face challenges and problems, just like anyone. If they know that your soccer skills come from years of practice (and many bruis), they’ll be more likely to sincerely celebrate your success on the field. If they know that you sometimes oversleep, look awful, or get in trouble, they’ll sympathize when disaster strikes, instead of thinking, “Ha! She finally mesd up14!”
Admire your friend＇s strengths．
Would you look away, unimpresd, if someone turned a flawless cartwheel15? Of cour not. Now take it one step further. If your best friend has beautiful hair, makes blueberry pancakes to die for16, or knows exactly what to do in an emergency, tell her how much you admire tho qualities. If she knows you’re sincere, she’ll find it much easier to appreciate your talents without wishing they were her own.
曼谷旅游
Never say, “You＇re just jealous!”品牌奶粉十大排名
首尔表演艺术高中 Even if it’s true, you won’t gain anything—she’ll just be even more upt with you. Instead, give her some time to get over it. Soon she’ll be acting like herlf again.
Avoid the Queen of Jealousy．
昌江河 It’s easy to e that a friend who treats you badly becau she’s jealous isn’t acting like a friend. But what about a friend who looks up to you so much that she ems to think you’re better than she is? Our advice: Be very careful. The adoration may be flattering at first, but that sort of friend may have dangerously low lf-esteem. Sooner or later, she’s bound to17 start renting you—and taking it out on18 your friendship.
Even in girls with lots of lf-confidence, jealousy can sometimes spring up where you least expect it. But if you know how to handle it, the green-eyed monster doesn’t have to threaten the friendships you care so much about. In fact, there’s even some good that ca
n come from jealousy. Think about it: That little sting of envy springs from deep admiration, right? So let that admiration spur19 you to action. If you admire your friend’s success at science competitions, consider your own talents and interests, and find a way to go after that kind of success for yourlf. Instead of letting the green-eyed monster make you mirable, turn it to your advantage. In the long run20, you’ll benefit—and so will your friendships.
