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Liespotting --- PamelaMeyer鲜牛奶加热的正确方法
陇头水Okay, now I don't want to alarm anybody in this room, but it's just come to my attention that the person to your right is a liar. (Laughter) Also, the person to your left is a liar. Also the person sitting in your very ats is a liar. We're all liars. What I'm going to do today is I'm going to show you what the rearch says about why we're all liars, how you can become a liespotter and why you might want to go the extra mile and go from liespotting to truth eking, and ultimately to trust building. 带归的成语>河流简笔画
Now speaking of trust, ever since I wrote this book, "Liespotting," no one wants to meet me in person anymore, no, no, no, no, no. They say, "It's okay, we'll email you." (Laughter) I can't even get a coffee date at Starbucks. My husband's like, "Honey, deception? Maybe you could have focud on cooking. How about French cooking?"
So before I get started, what I'm going to do is I'm going to clarify my goal for you, which is not to teach a game of Gotcha. Liespotters aren't tho nitpicky kids, tho kids in the back of the room that are shouting, "Gotcha! Gotcha! Your eyebrow twitched. You flared your nos
tril. I watch that TV show 'Lie To Me.' I know you're lying." No, liespotters are armed with scientific knowledge of how to spot deception. They u it to get to the truth, and they do what mature leaders do everyday; they have difficult conversations with difficult people, sometimes during very difficult times. And they start up that path by accepting a core proposition, and that proposition is the following: Lying is a cooperative act. Think about it, a lie has no power whatsoever by its mere utterance. Its power emerges when someone el agrees to believe the lie.
So I know it may sound like tough love, but look, if at some point you got lied to, it's becau you agreed to get lied to. Truth number one about lying: Lying's a cooperative act. Now not all lies are harmful. Sometimes we're willing participants in deception for the sake of social dignity, maybe to keep a cret that should be kept cret, cret. We say, "Nice song." "Honey, you don't look fat in that, no." Or we say, favorite of the digiratti, "You know, I just fished that email out of my spam folder. So sorry."
But there are times when we are unwilling participants in deception. And that can have dr
amatic costs for us. Last year saw 997 billion dollars in corporate fraud alone in the United States. That's an eyelash under a trillion dollars. That's ven percent of revenues. Deception can cost billions. Think Enron, Madoff, the mortgage crisis. Or in the ca of double agents and traitors, like Robert Hansn or Aldrich Ames, lies can betray our country, they can compromi our curity, they can undermine democracy, they can cau the deaths of tho that defend us.
Deception is actually rious business. This con man, Henry Oberlander, he was such an effective con man British authorities say he could have undermined the entire banking system of the Western world. And you can't find this guy on Google; you can't find him anywhere. He was interviewed once, and he said the following. He said, "Look, I've got one rule." And this was Henry's rule, he said, "Look, everyone is willing to give you something. They're ready to give you something for whatever it is they're hungry for." And that's the crux of it. If you don't want to be deceived, you have to know, what is it that you're hungry for? And we all kind of hate to admit it. We wish we were better husbands, better wives, smarter, more powerful, taller, richer -- the list goes on. Lying is an attempt t开车鞋
o bridge that gap, to connect our wishes and our fantasies about who we wish we were, how we wish we could be, with what we're really like. And boy are we willing to fill in tho gaps in our lives with lies.
On a given day, studies show that you may be lied to anywhere from 10 to 200 times. Now granted, many of tho are white lies. But in another study, it showed that strangers lied three times within the first 10 minutes of meeting each other. (Laughter) Now when we first hear this data, we recoil. We can't believe how prevalent lying is. We're esntially against lying. But if you look more cloly, the plot actually thickens. We lie more to strangers than we lie to coworkers. Extroverts lie more than introverts. Men lie eight times more about themlves than they do other people. Women lie more to protect other people. If you're an average married couple, you're going to lie to your spou in one out of every 10 interactions. Now you may think that's bad. It you're unmarried, that number drops to three.
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