让人捧腹大笑的英语小笑话

让人捧腹大笑的英语小笑话

笑话是一个汉语词汇，拼音是xiào hua，意思是引人发笑的话或事情。以下是精心整理的让人捧腹大笑的英语小笑话，欢迎大家借鉴与参考，希望对大家有所帮助。

让人捧腹大笑的英语小笑话1

"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied."Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmothers funeral, she stopped in to e you.

“你相信人能死后重生吗?”老板问他的一个员工。 “我相信，先生”。这位刚上血型比例班不久的员工回答。 “哦，那还好”。老板接着说。 “你昨天提早下班去参加你祖母的葬礼后，她老人家到这儿看你来了。”

让人捧腹大笑的英语小笑话2

Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "Ive got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think theres somebody under it. Im going crazy!" "Just put yourlf in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and Ill cure your fears." "How much do you charge?" "A hundred dollars per visit." "Ill sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the 逃避英语doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didnt you ever come to e me again?" asked the psych夏海iatrist. "For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" "He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Aint nobody under there now!"

杰瑞去看精神病医生。“医生，我有些不对劲。每次睡觉的时候，我都感觉有人在床下。我要疯了!”“给我一年时间，”医生说，“每周来三次，我会治好你。”“费用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我会认真考虑的。”杰瑞答道。六个月后医生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“为什么你再也没来呢?”医生问。“一次一百块钱吗?有个酒吧服务生收了十块钱就把考研成功我治好了。”“真的?他怎么做到的?”“他让我把床腿锯掉。现在那没人了!”

让人捧腹大笑的英语小笑话3

I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packards DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldnt solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me becau the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges， and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to nd the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"

我在惠普公司打印机部做技术支持工作已经有一个月了，有一天我接到一位客户的电话，她的问题我没办法解决。她的问题是：打印机不能打出来黄色，但是其它颜彼岸花的诗色都正常。这让我觉得很纳闷，因为三原色就是蓝、红、黄。我建议客户更换墨盒、删了驱动程序然后重新安装，但是都没有效果。我咨询同事们，他们也不知道该怎么办。经过两个多小时的交涉，我打算让客户把打印机寄给我们，这时候她平静地说了一句：“我是不是应该把这张黄纸扔了换一张白纸再打印试试。”

让人捧腹大笑的英语小笑话4

A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked.

一位女士打开冰箱门，发现一只兔子坐在其中的一层隔板上，就问它：“你在那里做什么?”

The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghou, isnt it?"

兔子回答：&ldquo属龙和属蛇相配吗;这是Westinghou对不对?”(Westinghou，西屋电气公司)

The lady confirmed, "Yes."

女士确认道：“没错。”

"Well," the rabbit said,"Im westing."

兔子说：“那就对了，我就是要往西边去。”

让人捧腹大笑的英语小笑话《草房子》读后感5

"You cant imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herlf, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”

让人捧腹大笑的英语小笑话6

Dentist: Im sorry, madam, but Ill have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your sons tooth.

Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.

Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.

牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的.儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。

母亲：二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀?

牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了

让人捧腹大笑的英语小笑话7

When a group of women got on the car, every at was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who emed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"

"I wasnt asleep," the man answered.

"Not asleep? But you had your eyes clod."

"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."

当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒!”

“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。

“没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?”

“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”

让人捧腹大笑的英语小笑话8

"Larry! Come here!" said his furious mother, putting the telephone down, " I’ve just had a call 　　from Mrs. Harrison about your behavior to her Doris at the school dance last night. You wretched, rude boy!"

"I was nice 龙微的日记to her, Mum, really I was!" protested the youth.

"I even paid her a compliment when we had a dance."

"Did you, indeed?" said hi打字键盘s mother grimly, "And what exactly did you say?"

"I said, Gosh, Doris, you sweat less than any fat girl I’ve ever danced with!"

“拉里，你过来!”妈妈放下电话后生气地说，“我刚才接到哈里森夫人地电话，她告诉我你在昨晚的学校舞会上对多丽丝行为不好，你可耻，粗鲁!”

“妈妈，我对她很好，真的!”小伙子不服气地说。“当我和她跳舞时我还说了一句恭维她的话。”

“你真的这么做的吗?”妈妈严厉地问。“你的原话是怎么说的?”

“我说，啊呀，多丽丝，你比我跳过舞的`任何胖姑娘出汗都少!”

让人捧腹大笑的英语小笑话9

A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others gla扩大c盘容量d. Now, children, said she, has anyone of you ever made someone el glad?Plea, teacher, said a small boy, Ive made someone glad yesterday.Well done. Who was that?My granny.Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad.Plea, teacher, I went to e her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, ‘Granny, Im going home,’ and she said, ‘Well, Im glad’!

一个主日学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。现在，孩子们，她说：你们当中有谁让别人高兴过?我，老师，一个小男孩说：昨天我就使别人高兴过。做得好，是谁呢?我奶奶。好孩子，现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。是这样的，老师。我昨天去看她，在她那儿呆了三个小时。然后我跟她说：‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她说：‘啊，我很高兴!’

让人捧腹大笑的英语小笑话10

Teacher: If I had ven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?

tudent: Big hands.

老师：如果我左手上有7个桔子，右手上有8个桔子。那么我有什么?

学生：大手。