TED演讲你不必要强迫⾃⼰积极向上TED演讲：你不必要强迫⾃⼰积极向上
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Hello, everyone.
⼤家好。
Sawubona.
Sawubona。
In South Africa, where I come from,
我来⾃南⾮，
"sawubona" is the Zulu word for "hello."
「sawubona」是祖鲁语⾥的「你好」。
There's a beautiful and powerful intention behind the word
背后有⼀个有⼒⽽美丽的意图。
becau "sawubona" literally translated means,
因为「sawubona」字⾯翻译是，
"I e you, and by eing you, I bring you into being."
「我看到你，因为见过你，我感受到彼此的存在。」
初一奥数So beautiful, imagine being greeted like that.
想象受到如此的欢迎是如此美丽。
But what does it take in the way we e ourlves?
什么锅好
但是，我们如何看待⾃⼰呢？
Our thoughts, our emotions and our stories
如何看待那些帮助我们
that help us to thrive
在这个⽇益复杂和焦虑的世界⾥
in an increasingly complex and fraught world?
茁壮成长的想法、情绪和故事呢？
This crucial question has been at the center of my life's work.这个⾄关重要的问题是我⼀⽣⼯作的核⼼。
Becau how we deal with our inner world drives everything.因为我们如何处理内⼼世界会驱动着我们的⼀切。
Every aspect of how we love, how we live,
我们的⼀切所爱、如何⽣活、
how we parent and how we lead.
如何为⼈⽗母，及怎样率领他⼈。
The conventional view of emotions as good or bad,
肾彩超需要空腹吗
传统的观点认为情绪有好有坏，
positive or negative,
有正⾯有负⾯，
is rigid.
看似死板。
teacher
And rigidity in the face of complexity is toxic.
以僵化的态度⾯对错综复杂的问题是有害的。
We need greater levels of emotional agility
我们需要更⼤限度的情感灵活性
for true resilience and thriving.
来⽀持⽣命的韧性和茁壮成长。
My journey with this calling
我的使命
began not in the hallowed halls of a university,
不源于神圣的⼤学殿堂，
不源于神圣的⼤学殿堂，
but in the messy, tender business of life.
却扎根在杂乱与温柔的⽣活中。
I grew up in the white suburbs of apartheid South Africa,
我在南⾮种族隔离时期的⽩⼈郊区长⼤，
a country and community committed to not eing. To denial.
⼀个常常被忽视、被否认的国家和⼩区。
It's denial that makes 50 years of racist legislation possible消防安全试题
这个否认，使 50 年后的种族主义⽴法成为可能，
阳光明媚的近义词
while people convince themlves that they are doing nothing wrong.⽽⼈们却相信⾃⼰没有做错任何事。
And yet, I first learned of the destructive power of denial
然⽽，我第⼀次真切体会到
at a personal level,
被否认的破坏⼒，
before I understood what it was doing to the country of my birth.
远在我明⽩⾃⼰出⽣的国家正在发⽣什么事之前。
My father died on a Friday.
我⽗亲在⼀个星期五去世了。
He was 42 years old and I was 15.
当时他 42 岁，⽽我 15 岁。
My mother whispered to me to go and say goodbye to my father如何选择冰箱
在返校前，母亲低声对我说，
before I went to school.
去和妳的⽗亲最后道个别吧。
So I put my backpack down and walked the passage that ran through 于是我把背包放下，⾛过⼀条通道，
to where the heart of our home my father lay dying of cancer.
to where the heart of our home my father lay dying of cancer.
去到屋的中⼼，那⾥躺着因癌症⽽病危的⽗亲。
His eyes were clod, but he knew I was there.
他的眼睛虽然闭上，但他知道我在那⾥。
In his prence, I had always felt en.
在他⾯前，我总可感觉到被看见。
I told him I loved him,
我告诉他我爱他，
said goodbye and headed off for my day.
说完再见，开始了新的⼀天。
At school, I drifted from science to mathematics to history to biology，当⽗亲从世界上溜⾛的时候，
as my father slipped from the world.
我在学校⾥，从科学学到数学，从历史学到⽣物，
From May to July to September to November,
从五⽉过到七⽉，七⽉过到九⽉，九⽉再到⼗⼀⽉，
I went about with my usual smile.
我都是带着平常的笑容渡过。
I didn't drop a single grade.
与之前没有什么⼤的分别。
When asked how I was doing, I would shrug and say, "OK."
当我被问到最近怎么样时，我会耸耸肩说：「我很好。」
I was praid for being strong.
我的坚强受到表扬。
I was the master of being OK.
我太善于假装「我很好」了。
But back home, we struggled --
但回到家⾥，我们就得挣扎维持⽣计。
my father hadn't been able to keep his small business going
爸爸⽆法⼀直维持他的⼩⽣意，
during his illness.
在他⽣病的期间他。
And my mother, alone, was grieving the love of her life
站起来英文
母亲因失去了⽣命中的爱⼈⽽悲痛万分，因为往后只靠她⼀个⼈了，trying to rai three children,
还要设法抚养三个孩⼦，
and the creditors were knocking.
⽽且债权⼈还追上门来。
We felt, as a family, financially and emotionally ravaged.
我们的家庭遇上了经济和情感的灾劫。
And I began to spiral down, isolated, fast.
我开始飞速地坠落深渊和感到孤⽴。
I started to u food to numb my pain.
开始⽤⾷物来⿇醉⾃⼰的痛苦。
Binging and purging.
⽤暴饮暴⾷来净化内⼼。
Refusing to accept the full weight of my grief.
拒绝接受沉重的悲痛。
No one knew, and in a culture that values relentless positivity,
在⼀种⿎吹⽆情⽂化的社会中，没有⼈想知道我的故事，
I thought that no one wanted to know.
我以为真是没有⼈想知道。
But one person did not buy into my story of triumph over grief.
但是有⼀个⼈，并不相信我刚强的外表。
