读后续写极简法（含常州卷下水作文）
医院承包食堂
读后续写极简法：阅读原文，圈出关键词，然后在续写中采用词族词、反义词、同义词等重复关键词，确保情节基本与原文契合。
今其智乃反不能及2021常州卷题目：
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文.
At first glance she looked like any other old woman, plodding along in the snow, alone,neglected,head bowed. Ayoung couple, smiling,talking,laughing, arms loaded with Christmas prents,took no notice of the old woman. Amother with two small children hurried by, on their way to grandmother’s hou.Like many others, they took no notice, either. If the people had noticed,they would have en that the old woman wore no shoes. She walked bare foot in the ice and snow.
With both hands the old woman gathered her worn button-less overcoat at the collar to keep out the wind. She stopped and stood bent and bowed at the bus stop. A red and blue
scarf coveringher head, she waited for the downtown bus.
A gentleman carrying an important looking briefca waited near her,not too cloly. After all,she could have something contagious (传染的). A teenage girl also waited for the bus. She glanced repeatedly at the old woman’s feet, but said nothing.
The bus arrived and the old woman slowly, painfully boarded. She sat on the sideways at, just behind the driver.The gentleman and the teenage girl hurried to the back of the bus.A little boy pointed at the old woman, “Look,Mother,that old ladyis bare foot.” The embarrasd mother slapped his hand down. 'Don’t point at people, Andrew. It’s not polite topoint.” She looked out of the window.
“She must have sons or daughters,” a lady in a fur coat suggested, “Her children should be ashamed ofthemlves.' She felt morally superior,becau she took good care of her mother.
A man ated near the middle of the bus steadied the bag of gifts on her lap. “Don’t we pay enough taxes to handle situations like this?” he said to a friend ated beside him.
“People have to learn to save theirmoney,” a well-dresd young college man added. “If that old woman had saved when she was young,she wouldn’t be suffering now. It’s her own fault.”
And all the vain(虚荣的)people beamed with satisfaction that they had all given such deep analysis,totally ignoring the old woman who badly needed a pair of shoes immediately.
注意：续写词数应为150左右
A vain businessman felt offended by tho talking without acting and reached into his wallet.
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春节贴春联At the next stop, a young man wearing expensive, new, brand-name shoes boarded the bus,
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披星戴月是什么意思
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阅读原文和段首句，圈出关键词：
the old woman (bare-foot, no shoes)
香丸多个pasngers （vain, ignore )
a vain businessman， wallet
庄子中的成语
a young man with brand-name shoes
bus
ice and snow
续写：
下水作文A vain businessman felt offended by tho talkingwithout acting and reached into hiswallet.Taking a brand-new banknote, he went to thepoor old woman and said in a l
oud enough voice to make himlf heard (一方面让老太听到，一方面让乘客听到，折射出他的虚荣心，vain关键词重复). “Take this money and buy yourlf a pair of shoesthe moment you get off the bus.” (用祈使句，虽然赠与，但还是显示了他的优越感) The old woman tried to decline the offer, but the businessman insisted.After saying thanks again and again, she accepted it, tears blurring her vision.The little boy sitting on his mother’s lap exclaimed, “How generous thegentleman is!” Plead to hear that, the businessman walked back to his at, looking as proud as a peacock. (再次说明他的虚荣心，vain关键词重复) At the next stop, a young man wearing expensive, new, brand-name shoes boarded the bus. All the ats were occupied except the one beside the old woman (照应原文老太被ignored). He went to it. After ating himlf, he was stunned to obrve that the old woman was wearing no shoes and trembling with cold. He promptly took off his overcoat and wrapped her in his. What amazed the other pasngers more was that the young man removed his top-brand shoes to put them on the old woman’s feet. “Thank you, myboy. God bless you. I…I…” (第一稿：She was too excited to utter more words to express her appreciation. 听了孙三五老师的“如何打断对话”后修改). “That’s OK, grandma.
” he patted her gently on the back. (用pat 动作代替say，言语不多，用实际行动关爱老人) Suddenly, someone applauded. Then came more applau. Though bare-footed, the young man felt the warmth in the bus on this snowy day. (applaude, applau传递正能量的影响。字里行间反应主题：Actions speak louder thanwords. 这句话如果加在文末，有“画蛇添足”感。) 修改稿（上文超字数95 110W）：A vain businessman felt offended by tho talking without acting and reached into his wallet.Taking a brand-new banknote, he went to the poor old woman and said in a loud enough voice to make himlf heard. “Take this money and buy yourlf a pair of shoes.” The old woman tried to decline the offer, but the businessman insisted. After saying thanks, she accepted it, tears blurring her vision. The little boy nearby exclaimed, “How generous the gentleman is!” Plead to hear that, the businessman walked back to his at, looking as proud as a peacock. (81W) At the next stop, a young man wearing expensive, new, brand-name shoes boarded the bus. All the ats were occupied except the one beside the old woman. He went to it. After ating himlf, he was stunned to obrve the old woman wearing no shoes. Much to the other pasngers’ amazement, he promptly removed his top-brand sh
he物主代词
oes to put them on the old woman’s feet. “Thank you, my boy. God bless you. I…I…” “That’s OK, grandma.” he patted her gently on the back. Suddenly, someone applauded. Then more applau! Though bare-footed, the young man felt the warmth in the bus on this snowy day. (89W) 感悟：学生在有限的时间内既要考虑情节的发展，又要考虑用词，实属不易。如果同考的话我只能确保我的表达没有大错误，但无法确保与原文高度契合，但如果抓住关键词，巧妙重复关键词，与原文不契合的可能性不大。
