Unit 1
The Unsung Heroes: What About Working Dads?
On our first "date" after our twin daughters were born, my husband and I went to e the movie Toy Story. We enjoyed it, but afterward my husband asked, "Where was the dad?" At first, it emed petty to criticize an entertaining family movie becau of one small point. The more I thought about it, however, the more glaring an omission it emed. Not only was dad not around, he wasn't even mentioned — despite the fact that there was a baby in the family, so dad couldn't have been that long gone. It was as if the prence— or abnce — of a father is a minor detail, not even requiring an explanation.
This is only one example of the media trend toward marginalizing fathers, which mirrors enormous social changes in the United States. David Blankenhorn, in his book Fatherless America, refers to this trend as the "unnecessary father" concept.
We are bombarded by stories about the struggles of working mothers (as oppod to non-w
orking mothers, I suppo). Meanwhile, a high proportion of media stories about fathers focus on abusive husbands or deadbeat dads. It ems that the only time fathers merit attention is when they are criticized for not helping enough with the houwork (a claim that I find dubious anyway, becau the definition of "houwork" rarely includes cleaning the gutters, changing the oil in the car or other jobs typically done by men) or when they die. When Mr. Blankenhorn surveyed fathers about the meaning of the term "good family man," many responded that it was a phra they only heard at funerals.
One exception to the "unnecessary father" syndrome is the glowing media attention that at-home dads have received. I do not mean to imply that at-home dads do not derve support for making this commitment. I only mean to point out the double standard at work when at-home dads are applauded while at-home mothers and breadwinner fathers are given little, if any, cultural recognition.
The very language we u to discuss men's roles (i.e., deadbeat dads) shows a lack of appreciation for the majority of men who quietly yet proudly fulfill their family responsibiliti
es. We almost never hear the term "working father," and it is rare that calls for more workplace flexibility are considered to be for men as much as for women. Our society acts as if family obligations are not as important to fathers as they are to mothers — as if career satisfaction is what a man's life is all about.
Even more insulting is the recent media trend of regarding at-home wives as "status symbols" — like an expensive car — flaunted by the suppodly few men who can afford such a luxury. The implication is that men with at-home wives have it easier than tho who wives work outside the home becau they have the "luxury" of a full-time houkeeper. In reality, however, the men who are the sole wage earners for their families suffer a lot of stress. The loss of a job — or even the threat of that happening — is obviously much more difficult when that job is the sole source of income for a family. By the same token, sole wage earners have less flexibility when it comes to leaving unsatisfying careers becau of the loss of income such a job change entails. In addition, many husbands work overtime or cond jobs to make more money needed for their families. For the men, it is the family that the job supports that makes it all worthwhile. I
t is the belief that having a mother at home is important to the children, which makes so many men gladly take on the burden of being a sole wage earner.
Today, there is widespread agreement among rearchers that the abnce of fathers from houholds caus rious problems for children and, conquently, for society at large. Yet, rather than holding up "ordinary" fathers as positive role models for the dads of tomorrow, too often society has thrown up its hands and decided that traditional fatherhood is at best obsolete and at worst dangerously reactionary. This has left many men questioning the value of their role as fathers.
As a society, we need to realize that fathers are just as important to children as mothers are — not only for financial support, but for emotional support, education and discipline as well. It is not enough for us merely to recognize that fatherlessness is a problem — to stand beside the grave and mourn the loss of the "good family man" and then try to find someone to replace him (ask anyone who has lost a father to death if that is possible). We must acknowledge how we have devalued fatherhood and work to show men how necessary, how important they are in their children's lives.
Tho fathers who strive to be good family men by being there every day to love and support their families — tho unsung heroes — need our recognition and our thanks for all they do. Becau they derve it
无名英雄：职业父亲意味着什么？
在我们的孪生女儿出生后的第一次"约会”时，我和丈夫一起去看了一部名为《玩具故事》的电影。我们很喜欢这部片子，但随后我丈夫问道："父亲在哪儿呢？”起初我还认为因为一个小小的失误而批评一部很吸引人的家庭影片似乎是太偏狭了。可后来越想越觉得这一疏忽太严重了。父亲不仅没有出现，他甚至没有被提到—— 尽管家中有婴儿，说明他不可能离开太长时间。影片给人的感觉是，父亲出现与否似乎是个极次要的细节，甚至不需要做任何解释。
新闻媒体倾向于把父亲的边缘化，这只是一个例子，它反映了在美国发生的巨大的社会变化。大卫·布兰肯霍恩在《无父之国》一书中将这种倾向称之为"无需父亲”观念。
职业母亲（我想这应是与无职业母亲相对而言的）奋斗的故事从媒体上无尽无休地轰击
着我们。与此同时，媒体上绝大多数有关父亲的故事又集中表现暴力的丈夫或没出息的父亲。看起来似乎父亲惟一值得人们提及的时候是因为他们做家务太少而受到指责的时候（我怀疑这一说法的可靠性，因为"家务”的定义中很少包括打扫屋顶的雨水沟、给汽车换机油或其它一些典型地由男人们做的事），或者是在他们去世的时候。当布兰肯霍恩先生就"顾家的好男人”一词的词义对父亲们进行调查时，许多父亲都回答这一词语只有在葬礼上听到。
这种"无需父亲”综合症的一个例外是家庭全职父亲所受到的媒体的赞扬。我并非暗指这些家庭全职父亲作出的承诺不值得人们的支持，我只是想指出在实际生效的双重标准：家庭全职父亲受到人们的赞扬，而家庭全职母亲和养家活口的父亲，所得到文化上的认同却很少，甚至完全得不到。
