104 The One With George Stephanopoulos
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except Joey.]
Monica: Alright. Phoebe?
Phoebe: Okay, okay. If I were omnipotent for a day, I would want, um, world peace, no more hunger, good things for And bigger boobs!
Ross: Yeah, e.. you took mine. Chandler, what about you?
Chandler: Uh, if I were omnipotent for a day, I'd.. make mylf omnipotent forever.
Rachel: See, there's always one guy. (Mocking) "If I had a wish, I'd wish for three more wishes." (Joey enters.)
All: Hey Joey. Hi. Hey, buddy.
Monica: Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?
Joey: Probably kill mylf!
Monica: ..Excu me?
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live!
Ross: Joey, uh- OMnipotent.
Joey: You are? Ross, I'm sorry..
Opening Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Monica are watching Phoebe sleep.]
Monica: How does she do that?
Ross: I cannot sleep in a public place.
Monica: Would you look at her? She is so peaceful.
Phoebe: (waking and startling them) Oh! What what what! ...Hi.
Ross: It's okay, y'know, you just nodded off again.
Monica: What's going on with you?
Phoebe: I got no sleep last night!
Ross: Why?
Phoebe: My grandmother has this new boyfriend, and they're both kind of incure in bed. Oh, and deaf. So they're constantly, like, having to reassure each other that they're having a good time. You have no idea how loud they are!
Monica: Well, if you want, you can stay with Rachel and me tonight.
Phoebe: Thanks.
(Chandler and Joey enter. Joey is counting his steps.)
Joey: ...Ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-ven. See, I told you! Less than a hundred steps from our place to here.
Chandler: You got waaaay too much free time.
Joey: (to Ross) Hey! Here's the birthday boy! Ross, check it out: hockey tickets, Rangers-Penguins, tonight at the Garden, and we're taking you.
Chandler: Happy birthday, pal!
Joey: We love you, man. (Kiss Ross)
Ross: Funny, my birthday was ven months ago.
Joey: So?
Ross: So, I'm guessing you had an extra ticket and couldn't decide which one of you got to bring a date?
Chandler: Well, aren't we Mr. "The glass is half empty."
Ross: Oh my God, oh- is today the twentieth, October twentieth?
Monica: Oh, I was hoping you wouldn't remember.
Ross: Ohhh.
Joey: What's wrong with the twentieth?
Chandler: Eleven days before Halloween.. all the good costumes are gone?
Ross: Today's the day Carol and I first.. consummated our physical relationship. (Joey is puzzled.) Sex. ..You know what, I-I'd better pass on the game. I think I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.
Joey: The hell with hockey, let's all do that!
Chandler: (trying to stop Ross leaving) C'mon, Ross! You, me, Joey, ice, guys' night out, c'mon, whaddya say, big guy, (Pretending to punch him in the stomach.) Huh? Huh? Huh?
Ross: What are you doing?
Chandler: (stops) I have no idea.
Joey: C'mon, Ross!
Ross: Alright, alright, maybe it'll take my mind off it. Do you promi to buy me a big thumb finger?
Chandler: You got it.
(Rachel runs up cluching an envelope.)
Rachel: Look-look-look-look-look, my first pay check! Look at the window, there's my name! Hi, me!
Phoebe: I remember the day I got my first pay check. There was a cave in in one of the mines, and eight people were killed.
Monica: Wow, you worked in a mine?
Phoebe: I worked in a Dairy Queen, why?
Rachel: God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally—(opens envelope)—not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.
Chandler: (looking) Oh, this is not that bad.
Joey: Oh, you're fine, yeah, for a first job.
Ross: You can totally, totally live on this.
Monica: Yeah, yeah.
Ross: Oh, by the way, great rvice tonight.
All: Oh! Yeah!
(They all get their wallets out and give generous tips.)
Guys: Hockey! (They go to leave but are blocked by three of Rachel's friends, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne. The guys pau to stare at them.) Hockey! Hockey. (The guys.)
Leslie: (looking around) Rachel?
Rachel: Oh my God! (Rachel, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne all scream and hug each other.
Monica: (to Phoebe) I swear I've en birds do this on Wild Kingdom.
Rachel: What are you guys doing here?
Kiki: Well, we were in the city shopping, and your mom said you work here, aaand it's true!
Joanne: Look at you in the apron. You look like you're in a play.
