2024年1月9日发(作者:贺友直)
别了,贺年片
柯灵(1909-2000)
我出生于1909年元月,混迹人间,荏苒八十八年。去秋一病,病后颓唐,至今没有恢复到原来的健康水平。长寿非福之感,不觉油然而生。
退离工作岗位,淡出社会活动,倏忽十有余年。自喜晚景静好,无虑饥寒,还赶上了百年难遇的太平岁月。虽然许多现象不免使人牵愁惹恨,总算免了提心吊胆,唯恐什么时候会来一阵防不胜防的人造风暴。坐食之余,积习难除,不免干些灾梨祸枣的闲人之业。这本来也是消磨余年的一法,犹如老农冬闲,负暄闲话,乐在其中。但现在也渐感到后难为继。
矛盾的焦点,在于来日苦短,精神体力日见不济,世故困人,而又不能抽刀断水,毅然割弃文字因缘,顾此失彼,难以周全。在人际关系中,久已无力做到有信必复,有求必应,一面又不能释然于怀,洒脱得无牵无挂。岁尾年头,向亲朋好友发个贺年片,兼代通候,原是一件使人感到温暖和愉快的事,也渐觉力不从心。因为一来一往,为数可观,操作需时,不免手忙脚乱。暮年行动不便,购卡,投邮,又须求人代劳。市上行销的时髦贺卡,多是金碧辉煌的豪华版,代价不菲,姑置不论,流行歌曲式的新潮贺词,也很不合老人身份。诸多烦扰,不一而足。曾经几次想自己设计,印制一些朴素大方,既能表情达意,又堪供清赏的贺卡,也难以实现。不得已狠一狠心,向贺年片挥手告别,从此不再发寄,也不再裁答。失礼之愆,只好请求多多体谅了。
在大公无私的时间面前,谁也不能不低头认输。一年容易,又是腊尽春回时节,谨布心曲,向海内外旧雨新知,识与不识的读者,表达我的惓惓之意。
Goodbye to New Year Cards
Ke Ling
I was born in January 1909. Time slipped by and I’ve been muddling along in
this world for eighty-eight years. My illness in the autumn of last year left me in poor
shape and so far I’ve not yet restored my former state of health. I cannot help feeling
that longevity doesn’t necessarily mean happiness.
More than ten years has quickly pasd away since I retired and began to stay
away from public activities. I congratulate mylf, however, on spending my
declining years in peace and comfort, free from hunger and cold, and on happening to
live in time of peace and tranquility, which is hard to come by even once in a century.
Though I still cannot help feeling concerned about many aspects of the status quo, I
am, nevertheless, spared from having to live in constant fear of being overtaken
unawares by an unpredictable man-made storm. In my retirement, I keep the old habit
of wielding my clumsy pen. I regard it as one way of whiling away my remaining
years, and also find pleasure in it, similar to an old farmer enjoying a chat while
taking the sun during the slack winter ason. But now I feel I’m not quite up to even
this becau of age.
The main problem is that my days are numbered and I’m going from bad to
wor both physically and mentally. While busy attending to social relations, I’m
meanwhile loath to cut off my devotion to writing. But I find it difficult to take care of
both at the same time. As to interpersonal correspondence, I’ve long been unable to
write letters in reply though it doesn’t mean I’ve clean forgotten the nder or I don’t
feel apologetic for my silence. It certainly gives ri to a feeling of warmth and
pleasure to nd new year cards to relatives or friends at the end or beginning of a
year, which not only offer messages of greetings but also rve as a substitute for
correspondence. But much as I want to, it is now beyond my power to keep doing it.
The exchange of a considerable number of such cards will take up much of my time
and nd me bustling around. Having difficulty getting about becau of age, I have to
ask somebody el to buy the cards and mail them out for me. The trendy cards in the
market appear mostly in glittering de luxe editions and are very expensive. What’s
wor, the stylish new year messages printed therein in popular song fashion are
incompatible with the status of an old man like me. Due to numerous frustrations, I
many times even thought of having cards of my own design printed---cards which
would be both simple and unaffected, both expressive of my true feelings and in good
state, but unfortunately it never materialized. So all I have to do is wave goodbye to
new year cards. From now on I no longer nd them, either on my own initiative or in
reply. Pray forgive me for lack of manners on my part.
Time is impartial and nobody can fail to bow to it and admit defeat. Another year
has gone by and spring has returned after winter is over. Let me avail mylf of this
opportunity to tell what is on my mind and make known my sincere intentions to all
my friends at home and abroad, old and new, and to all my readers, acquainted and
unacquainted.
(张培基译)
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