we give them more independence
美丽的相遇When it es to raising children, independence is often brought up.
When do you start giving them independence? How do you start giving them independence?
New rearch by Natwest shows a third of parents believe their kids should be gaining more independence by the age of 10 and more than half think they should have it by 12.
The top 10 things that would make children feel more independent are:
1.Walking to school without a parent/ guardian
2.Getting public transport without a parent/ guardian
3.Joining social media / having my own social media accounts
4.Having chores
5.Having a boyfriend or girlfriend
6.Making my own lunches
7.Being left at home alone
8.Being allowed to go on sleepovers/stay the night away from home
9.闽南游Getting ready for school mylf (e.g. packing my own bag, lunch etc.)
10.Being responsible for remembering to do my homeworkswim现在分词>爱加密
Meanwhile, the top 10 things that would make parents feel their child is being more independent are:
1.Expressing their opinion on things
2.Walking to school without a parent/ guardian
3.Managing how they spend and save their money
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4.Getting a part-time job
5.Getting ready for school themlves
6.Having their own interests they want to pursue
7.Going into a shop alone to buy and/or pay for something
8.Being responsible for remembering to do homework
9.Getting public transport without a parent/ guardian
10.Spending more time with their friends and less time with me
We sat down with child behavioural psychologist Dr Linda Papadopoulos to find out more.
“So there is some overlap there,” Dr Papadopoulos tells us.
“But what I think is very clear here is this idea of being lf-sufficient.
“So whether it’s walking to school alone, expressing your opinion, or managing your money, there’s a notion of being able to move into that place of autonomy and lf-sufficiency.”
Why can it be difficult to give our children independence?
“I guess, in many ways, that’s the major task of parenting, the whole point of parenting a child is that you get them to that stage where they are independent, where they are lf-sufficient,” explains Dr Papadopoulos.
“I think the other side of being a parent is to keep them safe and sometimes it feels like the two things are in opposition to each other, either I’m going to keep my kids safe, or I’m going to give them independence.
“It’s a balancing act.
“So take walking to school – it’s one thing allowing an older child, 10/11 years old, to walk to school on their own, it’s another thing allowing a really, really young child to do it, you
wouldn’t do it at two or three, and there’s very good reasons for that. But somewhere between the age of two or three and the age or 11 or 12, you need to start thinking about how you let go of tho reigns.
“The same thing happens with all the other things, whether it’s doing chores, whether it’s expressing their opinions, or whether it’s managing money.”
What el does the rearch tell us about our kids?
“I think our rearch shows that kids ek independence earlier,” reveals Dr Papadopoulos.
豆芽生长过程观察日记“I think some of that is becau they’re expod to a world through social media that generations before might not have been.
“But I think clearly that idea of wanting to bee independent of your parents is a key developmental stage.
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“So all kids go through it, and part of the rebelliousness that we e during adolescence is precily part of that, and wanting to be independent.”
How can we find a middle ground with our children?
“I think the first thing to do is teach your kids to take care of their future lf,so whether it’s making the right decisions about how you study, or what you eat, or how you save money, this idea of delayed gratification is key,” Dr Papadopoulos says.
“One of the most uful tools we have is a star chart, which you can start when they’re really young.
“So I have the expectations of you that you go to bed on time, or that you brush your teeth, and I’ll give you a star for each one of the behaviours, and at the end of the week you can cash tho stars inwhether it’s for extra stories, or playtime, or whatever el.
“That kind of gets them feeling that they have a n of volition over what they do, this i
dea of saving up the rewards, the idea of cashing them in, this is all stuff that you can then translate, as they get older, to getting money for chores, to being able to save, to being able to spend, it kind of puts them in the right headspace.
“Do it gradually and don’t be afraid to e out of that fort zone,that’s the only way that we increa confidence and grow.
