918 The One With The Lottery Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters Joey: Monica, hey, can I borrow the Porsche? Monica: Ok. Joey: Alright! Monica: what is it not? Joey: (abashed) A place to entertain my lady friends. Monica: And what el is it not? Joey: (even more abashed) A place to eat spaghetti. Monica: Very good! (Gives him the keys) What do you need it for anyway? Joey: Oh well, the powerball lottery is upto 300 million and they don't ll tickets here in New York, so... Rachel: Oh! So you're driving up to Connecticut? Joey: (hesitates for a moment)Not West Virginia. Monica: Hey, maybe I'll drive you up there! I'd like to buy some tickets mylf! Joey: Uh! Monica: Yeah with Chandler not getting paid, we could really u 300 million dollars. Chandler: Yeah, becau if I was at my old job we'd say 300 million? No thank you! Phoebe: Hey will you get me tickets too? Rachel: Yeah me too. oh! I have an idea. Why don't we all pitch in 50 bucks, we'll pool our money together and then if we win, we'll split it! Everyone almost simultaneously except Ross: yeah thats a great idea! Ross: No thanks! Phoebe: You don't wanna win the lottery? Ross: (in a mocking voice)Uh...sure I do, and I also wanna be King of my own country and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart. Chandler: Still on Amelia Earhart? Ross: The woman just vanished! Joey: Seriously, Ross, you don't want in on this? Ross: No! Do you know what your odds are of winning the lottery? I...I mean you have a better chance of being struck by lightning 42 times. Chandler: Yes but there's six of us so we'd only have to get struck by lightning 7 times. Joey: I like tho odds! Ross: Seriously you guys, I can't believe you're going to spend 250 dollars on the lottery, I mean that's such a bunch of boohaki. Chandler: (looking around at the others)I'll ask. (To Ross) Boohaki? Ross: Oh oh, we think Emma is about to start talking so we're trying to be careful about what words we u in front of her. Rachel: Yeah so get ready to hear alot boohaki, goshdarnit and brotherpucker. Monica: How do you know she's gonna start talking? Rachel: Well when I talk to her I almost feel like she understands what I'm saying. Chandler: Kinda like Joey. Joey: (who wasn't paying attention)What's that now? Opening credits Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler, Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen Monica: God! Look at all the tickets! It's so exciting! You know I haven't won anything since the sixth grade. Chandler: Pie eating contest? Monica: Oh! You assume becau I was heavy that's the only way I could win something? Chandler: No, I saw a picture of you covered in blueberries. Monica: (smiling)That was a good day! (Suddenly Ross comes running into the apartment) Ross: (yelling to Monica)They're towing your car, they're towing your car!! Monica: I'm parked in a garage on Morton! Ross: (panting)They're towing a car. And I spots. Joey: (sounding panicky)Oh my god Ross! You don't have Emma! And Rachel you don't have Emma! (Starts yelling) Where's Emma? Who has Emma!? Rachel: Joey relax! My mother picked her up two hours ago. You were there! Joey: (not yelling anymore)I was? Racel: Yes and you talked Joey: I did? Rachel: She dropped off a casrole? Joey: Oh yeah! The casrole lady. Monica: (to Ross)So, did you come by to watch us win the big bucks? Ross: Yeah, uh... and then I figured after you win, we could all go out to the balcony and e a night rainbow with gremlins dancing on top of it! (phone starts ringing and Chandler comes running out of the bathroom) Chandler: (hysterical)Don't touch the phone! I'll get it, I'll get it, I'll get it!! (picks up the phone) Ross: (to Monica)Think he washed his hands? Chandler: (into receiver)Hello? Hey Charlie, what do you know? Rachel: (to Monica)What's going on? Monica: Chandler is suppod to find out if he's getting an assistent job at his ad agency. But out of the 15 interns, they are only hiring three. Joey: Ooh! Tough odds! Ross: (mockingly)Yeah if only it were a sure thing like your 24 state lottery! Joey: (smiling)Look who's coming around! Chandler: (still on the phone)Damnit. Alright call me when you know more. Joey: (excited)Did you get it? Chandler: One of the slots got filled. Joey: (Still excited)By you!? Chandler: Sen the tone! No that kid Nate got it. Monica: Oh! I hate that guy! I mean come on kid! Pull up your pants! Chandler: Yeah I know. Rachel: Well, there's two spots left right? Chandler: I mean I want this so much! I mean, I wanna get one, I want my friend Charlie to Except I don't care about Charlie. (Phoebe enters) Phoebe: (excited)Hey you guys! Ok, you're not going to believe this! I just saw my psychic and she said I was definitely gonna win the lottery tonight! Monica: Hey that reminds me, I thought we could u some extra luck so I brought a wishbone home from work. Ross: (mockingly)A psychic AND a wishbone? Guys! Give someone el a chance! Monica: Alright, who wants to do it? Phoebe: Oh can I? Vegetarians never get to do the wishbone. It's really not fair either! You know, just becau we don't eat the meat doesn't mean we don't like to play with the carcass! Monica: Ok, hey Rach? Rachel: Oh no, I'm good, I don't wanna get that turkey smell all over my hands. Joey: I'll do it!! It'll get the casrole stink off of mine. (Phoebe and Joey both grab one side of the wishbone) Phoebe: I hope I win! Monica: Well, it doesn't really matter ... you're both wishing for the same thing, right? Joey: I can't tell you what I'm wishing for! El...won't come true! Monica: Right! .. but we "know" what you're wishing for! Joey: Can't really say! Monica: I understand, but you're wishing for what we think you're wishing for, aren't you? Joey: (slightly irritated)I'm not really comfortable with the questions! Rachel, Chandler and Monica: Plea, just do it! Phoebe: One, two, three! (they break the wishbone) Joey: I won, hey! Ross: You know what, I'm sure your wish is gonna come true, but, you guys - just in ca, maybe a genie will come out if we rub this lamp! (rubs lamp, stops becau it's very hot) Ah!! That thing gets hot!! Rachel: You know, Ross, just keep making your jokes. How are you gonna feel if we actually do win? Ross: Uh, you're not gonna win. Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, the odds are against us, but somebody has to win, and it could be us! And then how you gonna feel? You know, we're gonna be all like "oh everybody, let's take our helicopters up to the cape" and you're gonna be all like "oh, I can't guys, I'll meet you guys up there, I gotta gas up the Hyundai" Ross: Ok, I've heard mylf on tape and I sound nothing like that. Chandler: I can e the headline now: "Lottery winners' friend filled with regret eats own arm". Ross: Why would I eat my own arm? Chandler: Well you wouldn't, but we own the paper, we can print whatever we want. Monica: You know what, Ross? I'm gonna throw in 50 bucks for you. Ross: Why? Monica: Becau I know that you think the lottery is "boohaki" but we're all here and gonna watch the numbers and have fun. And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this. Ross: You don't have to do that, I'll pay for mylf. But just the fact that you want me to have fun with you guys - that's so sweet! Come here (they kiss and hug) Phoebe: Get a room! Chandler: Ok, so now that you're in, what are you gonna do if we win? Ross: I don't know, probably just invest it. Chandler: Ooh! Calm down ... Joey: Seriously, that's your fantasy? To invest it? Ross: Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "invest it"? I meant "be cool and piss it all away" (Joey and Chandler plead) Joey: Ooh, ooh, I know! We should pool all own money and buy the Knicks! Rachel: I don't really care about the Knicks. Joey: Oh, you will when I pick you as starting forward. Rachel: (touched) You would do that? I never get picked! Chandler: You know, I'm not sure a sports team is the way to go. Joey: You're not gonna let me buy the Knicks?? I can't believe you're taking this away from me! Chandler: You're right, it has been you dream for over 15 conds. Ross: (to Rachel) Uh, how long until they announce the numbers, Mommy? (pau) Chandler: (looks around) I'll take this one too (to Ross) Uh ... Mommy? Ross: Oh, I've gotten into the habit of calling Rachel "Mommy" when we're around Emma. Which I now realize we are not ... Rachel: I'm hoping that if she hears it enough it will be her first word. Ross: Although if we're gonna do that, we should probably call me "Daddy" too. Phoebe: Oooh, I like that, "daddy" (in a xy tone) Ross: I ... I was just talking about Rachel. Phoebe: (still in xy tone) Oooh, is daddy getting angry? Is daddy gonna spank me? Ross: (tries to be xy too) Well that depends ... have you been a baaad gi .. (stops) no I can't. (Phone rings, Chandler picks up) Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody el hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up) Joey: Dude, I'm sorry. But hey, there's one spot left, right? Chandler: Well no, Charlie's gonna get that. Monica: Hey, don't say that! You got just as good a chance as anybody el of getting that job! Chandler: He's the boss's son. Monica: Come on, lottery!! (everybody cheers) Rachel: Ooh, you guys, it starts in like 20 minutes. Monica: Ok, here we go. We need to sort out the tickets as quickly as possible to e if we've won. So does anybody have any ideas how to organize this? (doesn't let them answer) Ok, how about this: we divide them into 6 groups of 40, and the remaining 10 can be read by whoever finishes their pile first. Rachel: Ooh, I have another idea! Monica: I'm sorry, idea time is over. Phoebe: Ok, well, are all the tickets in the bowl? Monica: Yeah. Chandler: What about the ones you have on the nightstand? Monica: There are no tickets on the nightstand! Chandler: Yes there are, I just saw them a few minutes ago. (Rachel get suspicious) Monica: Un, no you didn't! You must be mistaken! Chandler: Honey, there are like 20 tickets on the nightstand! Monica: Chandler, n the tone!! (Rachel comes out of their bedroom waving tickets) Rachel: Well, well, well, look what mommy found!! (everyone's shocked) Monica: Ok, fine!! I bought 20 extra tickets for me and Chandler. Phoebe: Uh! The psychic also said that I would be betrayed. Ross: I can't believe this, I thought we were all in this together! Monica: Hey, you just got in 5 minutes ago! Ross: 3 minutes ago!!! I don't know why that's important ... Joey: I was with you the whole time we were in Connecticut, when did you even get tho? Monica: When you were reading the dirty magazines without taking off the plastic! Joey: (to Ross) I'll show you how. Rachel: Ok, well Monica, suppo one of your "special" tickets win? How are you gonna feel when you win the lottery and you lo all your friends? Monica: Plea ... if I win the lottery, you guys are not gonna leave me. Someone gave me a basket of mini-muffins last week and I couldn't get rid of you for 3 days! Rachel: Chandler, would you just tell her what she did was wrong? Chandler: (to Mon) She's right, you shouldn't have bought tickets just for us ... Monica: Ahhh! (shocked) Chandler: Let me finish ... (to everyone el) however, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get this job so I can't afford to have principles, so screw you, the tickets are ours!! (takes tickets from Rachel) Monica: There's the man I married!! Rachel: All right, believe me.If you win the lottery, it's the last you're gonna hear from us! Monica: Fine! Don't be my friends! I'll buy new friends! Yeah, and then I'll pay for their plastic surgery so they'd look just like you! Rachel: (surprid) OH! Alright, you know what? That's it! I want my share of the tickets (picks up the bowl)! Joey: Yeah, I want my tickets too (takes the bowl from Rachel)! And I'm buying the Knicks! And Steffi Graff, ah ah! Ross: Than I want mine, too (takes the bowl from Joey)! And if I win I'm gonna put it all into a very low-yield bond. Phoebe: Oh, you guys! We've got to keep all the tickets together (takes the bowl from Ross and puts it on the table) Monica: No, no! We should divide them up (picks up the bowl) and I should get extra becau we ud my card to buy them! Joey: Hey, if anybody gets extra tickets, it should be me! This all thing was my idea! (takes the bowl from Monica) Chandler: Oh, yeah! Thanks for inventing the lottery! Rachel: Ok, that's it! Just give'em to me! I'll split them up! (she tries to snatch the bowl from Joey's hands but she can't, so she pinches his nipple and she manages to take it) Joey: (in pain) Oh! Phoebe: (she takes the bowl from Rachel's hands and she starts running around the room and yelling) OOOOOHHHHH! Ross: (trying to stop her) Hey, hey!! Phoebe: (keeping on running and yelling) OOOOOHHHHH! (she stops) Fine, I can't take it anymore! I'm putting an end to this! (she goes out to the balcony) Rachel: Oh, if she jumps, I get her tickets. Joey: No, no! (they all go towards the balcony but they get jammed in the window) Phoebe: If we are not doing it together, we're not doing it at all! So, say goodbye to your tickets! (She holds out the bowl, and makes as to drop the tickets on the street). Everyone: NO!! Phoebe: Don't come any clor! Chandler: Can I come a little bit clor, valuable things are Phoebe: No, what's more important, your friends or money? Everyone but Monica: Friends! Monica: Money! (they all look at her) Phoebe: Hey Monica, what about your extra tickets? Monica: They're all in there! Even the five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)... Ross: Monica! Phoebe: Ok, good! (pau) You guys were so scared! There was no way I was gonna (a pigeon swoops down, scaring Phoebe who drops the bowl on the street) Oh God, no! (pau) I think I broke your bowl. Ross: Go, go, go!! Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. (All are returning from the street after picking up dropped lottery tickets) Phoebe: What a beautiful night to be running around the street, looking for tickets. And the wind sure made it fun. Monica: Phoebe, we lost half of them. Phoebe: So, what? Monica, we have the winning ticket! My psychic said I was gonna win, remember? Ross: Weird.. your psychic didn't mention anything about the Phoebe: As a matter of fact she said that's how I am going to die. (pau ) So, excu me for being a little skittish. Chandler: (looking at the answering machine) Hey, there's two messages. The could be from work! Monica: Oh, play them! Chandler: Ok, here we go! (he pushes the play button) Message: (Phoebe's voice) "Hello. Th-this is the pigeon from the balcony calling to apologi" (they all turns to look at Phoebe) "I sh.. I shouldn't have knocked the tickets out of the pretty lady's hand. It-it was all my fault. Not hers. Bye. Coo." (they all keep staring at Phoebe) Phoebe: Well, I bet that was very hard for him to do. Second message: "Hey Chandler, it's Charlie" Chandler: This is..shhh! Second Message: "Listen, oh... it turns I got the last spot. I'm really sorry man, it was a lot of fun working with you. Give me a call if you want." Monica: Oh God, I am so All: Oh, so sorry man! Sorry! Rachel: Oh, it is so unfair. It's like that time they promoted Sandra over me at work. Chandler: Oh, is she related to Ralph Lauren? Rachel: No, she was just much better at job than me! Phoebe: Guys, the drawing is about to start! Rachel: (To Ross) You know what? We should call my mum's hou and say goodnight to Emma before she goes down. Ross: Oh yeah, it's a good idea! Monica: (she hugs Chandler) Honey, you've been really strong about this, I know how badly you wanted that job. Chandler: Yeah, you know, I really thought I derved it. (pau) let's go win I mean, we still have 130 chances to win, right? Monica: (she draws out a ticket from a pocket of her pants) 131! (they kiss) Ross: (on the phone) Goodnight sweetheart! I love you. And remember, you're daddy's (covering the phone, to Rachel) Phoebe's totally ruined that (he pass the receiver to Rachel) Rachel: Hi mum, put her back on! Joey: (sitting on the sofa in front of the tv) Rach, come on! They are announcing the numbers! My God, I can already feel mylf changing. TV: "Here we are, the official Powerball numbers! We have 53" Chandler: I got that! Ross: Oh, we have one too!! Monica: We are on a roll, people!! Ross: (calling Rachel) Come on!! 肾的作用Rachel: (on the phone) Mum, plea!I know you love your new lips, but I can barely understand you! Would you, plea, just let me say goodnight to my daughter? TV: "And number 29! Here we go! The Powerball is 7" Monica: Check your numbers! Make me rich! Rachel: (she goes towards the others and she's very excited) Guys, you're not gonna believe this! I was just saying goodnight to Emma and she said her first words!! All: Wow! Joey: And what did she say? Rachel: She said "gleba"!! (she celebrates) (they just look at her for a moment; then they go back to checking the tickets) Monica: Make me rich!! Rachel: (to Ross) Isn't that amazing? Ross: Oh yeah, no hat's great! Rachel: Why-why aren't you more excited? Ross: Oh, h..."gleba" is not a word. Rachel: Oh, but of cour it is! Ross: Okay, what does it mean? Rachel: I don't know all the words. Ross: I'm just, I'm just glad I didn't miss my daughter's first words (goes back to checking the tickets). Ross: Yes you did, gleba is a word! Ross: Ok, u it in a ntence. Rachel: Ok... "Emma just said gleba"! Ross: It's not a word! Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, fine, I'm gonna look it up (she goes and picks up the dictionary). Ross: Oh, oh, ok, great. You know what, while you're at it she said another word the other day, why don't you, why don't you look up: (Rachel glares at him) Rachel: (arching the dictionary) Alright, okay, okay, gleba, (excited) Gleba! Ha! Here it is: the fleshy, spore-bearing inner mass of a certain fungi. (Rachel shows Ross the definition on the dictionary, giving him a smug look; then she squints at the dictionary, as though unsure what to make out of it) Ross: She's gonna be a scientist! (kiss Rachel on the head, very moved) Joey: (checking the last ticket) Damnit! anybody got anything? Chandler: No. Phoebe: I'm still looking Monica: Just double checking (does so)...no, no, no...(takes off a shoe and takes a ticket out of it) No! (phone rings) Monica: (answering phone) Hello? Hold on. It's your boss. Chandler: Ah, the "I'm sorry I rejected you" phone call. I'm not ud to getting it from guys. (on the phone, getting up from the sofa) Hey, Steve. Steve: Chandler, hi! I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions. We just felt that with your maturity and experience, you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant. Chandler: Oh no no no no, I'd love to be somebody's assistant! Answering phones, getting coffee, I live for that stuff! And I'm not farts, boobies, butt cracks! Steve: Chandler, you were the strongest person in the program. We're offering you the position of junior copywriter. Chandler: Me, that guy who just said butt cracks? Steve: Yes, that's right. We're excited about the level of sophistication you'll be bringing to the job. Chandler: Ok well, thanks, you won't regret it. I'll e you tomorrow (hangs up). (he idly goes to the sofa, starts browsing a magazine. Everybody stares at him) Chandler: What? (pau) Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be a junior copywriter. Everybody: (excited) Oh my God, congratulations! 幼儿启蒙唐诗100首Monica: Oh sweetie, I'm so proud of you! Chandler: Does that mean I get the good loving tonight? Monica: You bet! No TV or anything! (she gets up from the sofa and goes to the kitchen area) Joey: (to Chandler) Hey, that is so great about the job. Chandler: Thanks, man. Joey: And I like to think I had a little something to do with it. Chandler: Really? What? Joey: Well, before, with I didn't wish we would win the lottery, I wished you'd get the job. Chandler: (smiling, surprid) Oh yeah? (looks towards the kitchen, worried) Listen, don't tell Monica, she'll rip your heart right out. Joey: Oh yeah. Rachel: You know what? There is a little part of me that really thought we were gonna win. Ross: Me too. So much for my dinosaur/Amelia Earhart theme park. Phoebe: You guys, what was the Powerball number again? Monica and Ross: Seven. Phoebe: We won. Rachel: What? Phoebe: We won! Monica: Let me e! (they all jump up excitedly and try to e the ticket) Phoebe: Don't tear it. Ross: Phoebe, you don't have any of the first five numbers. Phoebe: I know that, but look, we've got the Powerball number, we've won 3 dollars! Chandler: Wow, you'd think we should get that over 20 years or go for the big payout. Phoebe: (still very excited) I don't care, I've never won anything before, I can't believe this! Rachel: So Pheebs, what are you going to do with your $3? Phoebe: It's not all mine. We all get 50 cents. Monica: You know what? You can have mine. Chandler: Me too. Joey: Me too. Rachel: Me too. (they all look at Ross) Ross: I guess if everybody Closing credits Scene: Central Perk. They're all sitting there as usual, except Joey. Gunther is rving a nearby table. (Joey comes in from the back of the coffee hou) Joey: (sitting in a chair) Hey guys, so I just called the Powerball hotline, can you believe it? Nobody won. Phoebe: I beg to differ (shows him her cup of coffee and her plate of cookies). Gunther: Maybe nobody won the jackpot, but there was this guy in here earlier, and he found the ticket on the street, right outside, and won $10,000 (goes to the counter). (They all glare evilly at Phoebe) Phoebe: (hides her mouth behind the cup and speaks in the "pigeon voice" from before) Coo, again. Don't blame the pretty lady. It was not her fault. It was me, the pigeon, coo! (pau) Seriously, stop staring at her. (Joey stares around dumbly looking for the "talking pigeon") End | 918 博彩 莫妮牛李党争,借车开开? 好 耶! 规矩? 不能在车里和小妞乱来 还有？ 不准吃意粉 乖 谢 开车去哪儿? “强力球乐透彩”语言哲学奖金累积到3亿，而且纽约没得卖.所以你要开去con-necticut？对哈，是康涅狄格,而不是西维吉尼亚州. 我开车送你去好了. 我也想买彩票 钱德不挣钱，3亿圆够花一阵子的.对，如果我有工作，就会说，3亿圆？不用了，谢谢 帮我带彩票? 我也要. 成. 我有妙计， 每人出50圆，凑钱买彩票.中奖了大家平分！ 高招 不用了，谢谢 你不想赢大钱？ 当然想。我还想称王称霸， 还想解开Amelia Earhart之谜 还挂念那个飞行员？ 那女人消失了！ 你真不想买? 不买！买彩票中奖的几率极小 比起中奖，你更有可能被闪电击中42次. 我们一共六人 每人只需被电七次 这个几率我喜欢! 真不敢相信，你们竟花250圆买彩票 纯粹是boohockey！ 我来问他 Boohockey啥意思? 爱玛要学说话了，所以我们决定 在她面前谈吐要文明 所以你们将听到："boohockey"（bull-shit）, goshdarnit(GodDamnit) 和"brotherpucker"(mother f**ker) 你们怎知她要学讲话了? 我对她说话时 她好像能听懂 有点像乔伊? 你又讲啥? 这么多彩票！激动人心！ 上次获胜还是在六年级 心得体会格式在吃饼大赛上? 你认为我只能靠肥胖赢钱？ 不，我看见你藏在蓝莓下的照片. 那天赢得好爽 对 他们在拖你的车! 我早停在莫顿的车库了 拖走了一辆车. 我是目击证人 ross没带爱玛? 瑞秋你也没带爱玛, 爱玛呢？哪儿去了？ joey别急，两小时前我妈把她接走了 你也在场！ 是吗 ? 对，你还跟她交谈 当真？ 她带了焙盘来 想起来了，焙盘夫人 你来看我们赢钱？ 对，等你们赢大钱，我们可以去阳台 看小魔怪在夜晚的彩虹上起舞 别碰电话，我来接 有没洗手哦? 喂. 查理，进展如何? 什么事? 钱德急于知道他有没赢得 他们广告公司助理的职位， 15个候选人，录取三个。 几率很小啊 还是买彩票中大奖把握大 你终于回心转意了 见鬼！有新情况再打电话给我 你中选了没? 有个笨蛋上了. 你呢? 听我的口气? Neate那小子赢得一个职位.讨厌死他了，开裆裤小鬼！还有两席？ 好想要这份工作！ 我想上，还想我朋友查理上. 不管查理了 各位好, 嗨 信吗？我刚见了我的灵媒， 她断言今晚我会中奖！ 对了 我从餐厅带了如愿骨回来，借个彩头 灵媒和如愿骨? 你们不给别人留机会 谁来玩? 我来? 素食者本不该使用如愿骨 这真不公平。我们不吃肉，并不意味着 我们就不能用它们的残骸玩 瑞秋? 心领，我可不想满手火鸡味 我来！ 我倒想除掉手上焙盘的气味 希望我赢 没什么分别. 反正你们俩许了同一个愿。不是吗？ 不告诉你 说了就不灵了 好吧，不说也知道 就是不说 了解。但你确实是许那个愿？ 你的问题让我不爽！ 别吵了！ 开始吧. 一、二、三 我赢! 你的愿望一定会成真 但各位，我擦擦台灯， 说不定会有精灵出现 好烫. ross你接着取笑我们吧 若我们真赢钱了？你怎么想 不可能 我懂，几率小. 但总会有赢家， 也许就是我们撞大运。 到时候你怎么想？ 我们会说：“大家把飞机开到海岬那边” 而你会说，待会再见， 我先给汽车加满油 我听过自己的录音 完全不是那种腔调！ 新闻头条会这样写， “见好友买彩票中巨奖， 悔不当初” 凭什么我要悔不当初? 我们有钱了，我们可以左右新闻舆论 哥,我帮你出钱吧. 为什么? 虽说这事是 "boohockey"（瞎胡闹）， 但大家都会守着看摇奖，你是我哥， 我希望你也有份， 不必这样吧，我自己付钱好了 既然你希望我也参与, 你好乖 开房间去! 既然你入伙了，如果你赢钱打算干嘛？ 没想好，投资吧? 你好冷静 你的梦想就只是投资而已? 抱歉，我说投资是指 不把中奖当一回事 想起来了！我们把奖金凑一块，买下尼克斯队！ 我才没那么喜欢尼克斯队 如果我选你当先发前锋 你就会喜欢了 你这么好? 我从没中选过！ 我也不太赞成买球队 你竟反对我买尼克斯？ 酸菜炒肉毁掉我的梦想? 你的梦想不是实现了15秒钟吗. 再过多久开出中奖号码？妈咪 我再问他 妈咪是谁? 我在培养一个习惯，在爱玛身边要叫瑞秋为妈咪 不过我才发现，爱玛不在这里 多听几次，希望“妈咪”会成为她学会的第一个单词 既然如此，是不是也该叫我“爹地”？ 好呀，爹地 我跟瑞秋讲话呢 爹地发火了? 爹地要揍我? 得看情况. 你今天不乖吗.... 败给你了. 喂，查理. 新消息？ 苏珊上了？怎可能？ 我也可以“献身”入木三分练字笔嘛 再见 真可怜。 不是还有一席？ 那是查理的位置 怎么那样说，机会面前人人平等 他是老板的儿子 赌运气! 好! 20分钟后要开始了10以内的分解 我们需要把票分堆排序，分工负责， 以便第一时间知道中奖与否 你们说我们怎么分工法？ 这样好吗? 我们把彩票分成六份，每份40注， 剩下的10注，由先查完自己那份的人点一点 我有个点子. 抱歉,出点子时间结束了 好,把所有票都放到碗里 行. 床头柜上那20注彩票呢? 床头柜上哪儿来什么彩票？ 我刚刚看见. 不可能.你看错了 宝贝，床头柜上真有20张彩票 钱德，听我口气？ 哈，看妈咪发现什么了 好吧，我替我们两口子另买了20张彩票 啊！灵媒也算出我会被出卖！ 难以置信 我们不是同舟共济吗？ 嘿，5分钟前你才入伙！ 3分钟前！我也晓得这是无谓之争 在康涅狄格，我自始至终和你一块， 你啥时溜去另买的？ 在你隔着包书的塑料袋、看色情杂志的时候 是的. 莫妮，假设你单买这些彩票中大奖， 但你赢了钱却失去朋友，你作何感想？ 得了，我若赢钱，你们才不会离开我呢. 上周人家送我一篮小松饼， 结果你们粘了我三天！ 钱德，教训你老婆！ 她说得对， 你不该只为我俩另买彩票 啊？ 让我说完 但我求职似乎失利了，人穷志短， 所以顾不上你们了，这些彩票是我们的！ 嫁你没错！信我，若你赢大奖，你将再也见不着我们 行，谁稀罕你们当朋友？ 我买新朋友 还花钱给他们整容， 让他们看起来像你们的样子 够了！我拿走我那份 我也拿走我的！ 我要买尼克斯， 和steffi graph（德裔女网明星）！ 我要回我的！ 如果我赢钱，要全部投资限量债券 别乱来，彩票还得放一起 分了它！ 多出来的该我得！因为开我的车去买的！ 多余的该谁要？该我！ 买彩票是我出的点子！ 对啊，谢你发明博彩游戏 别争了，我来平分 受不了了！你们怎么这样 她跳楼的话,她那份我要 别冲动 要么一起玩，要么谁都别想玩！ 跟彩票道别吧 别！ 不许靠近！ 我过来一点可以吗 ? 压着宝贝儿了 什么更重要，朋友还是金钱？ 朋友！ 钱！ 朋友 莫妮，你偷买的票怎么算？ 我都交出来了 胸罩里藏了五张 天啊! 看你们吓得，我怎么可能把彩票扔掉 天啊 好像把碗砸了 快去捡！ 浪漫之夜，满街捡彩票 风大更添情趣 菲比，我们损失过半 有什么大不了，稳赢的彩票没丢 灵媒说我会赢，记得吗？ 奇怪，灵媒怎么没算到鸽子. 事实上，她说鸽子会导致我丧命 请原谅我有点激动 电话有两条留言,肯定是公司打来的 听听看 开始. 喂，我是飞过阳台的鸽子，来电话道歉。 我不该，把“美女”手中的彩票撞飞， 都是我错，不关她事， 拜拜，咕咕 它一定鼓足了勇气、才来道歉 喂,钱德,我是查理. 来了！... 我获得了最后一个职位 真遗憾，和你共事很愉快。 致电我 好可怜 别难过. 不公平！就像上次阿桑获得晋升而我落选一样 她是大老板的亲戚？ 非也，她只是工作能力比我强很多。 要开始摇奖了！ 打电话给妈妈，在我女儿入睡前跟她说晚安。 好主意 宝贝，你表现很坚强 我知道你多想要这份工作 这工作本该是我的。 算了，还是博彩吧， 我们还有130注赢钱的希望 131注 晚安宝贝，我爱你. 记住，爹地的小女儿 菲比好扫兴 喂，妈，叫爱玛听电话。 瑞秋快， 摇号了！ 我好象有变化 美国威力球乐透彩，首先是53号 我有53号 我也有 我们要发了！ 快来！ 妈，我知道你新做的嘴唇漂亮， 但我听不懂你说什么。 请让我跟我女儿道晚安。 然后是29号，压轴的威力球号码为7号 清查你们的号码！ 让我发财！ 说出来你们不信，刚才我跟爱玛道晚安， 她居然开口说了她第一个单词 什么？ 她说啥？ gleba 让我发财！ 很棒吧？ 很好 你无动于衷？ gleba才不是单词 当然是！ 那它什么意思？ 我又不是什么字都认识！ 我很高兴，没错过女儿讲第一个字 你错过啦，"gleba"就是 造句? 好，"爱玛刚才说gleba" 不是单词 我查字典 对了 她还说过一个字 你怎么不查查"噗--"？ gleba, gleba, gleba, 查到 gleba 了! 某种真菌内部多肉质的产孢子的集合体 她会成为科学家! 没戏 我还在检查 复查一下 没，没 没戏！ 喂，请稍等. 你老板 踢掉我，现在又来电道歉 不喜欢接这种电话 喂，你好 钱德你好 你一定知道了，我们招了三个助理 我们认为，以你的成熟稳重和丰富经验， 一定不甘只当助理 我爱当助理！接电话、倒咖啡，我喜欢 我不成熟，我可以满嘴俚语 farts, boobies, butt cracks！ 钱德，你是组里最强的 我们邀你担当初级版权人 我？一个刚才还讲了butt cracks的家伙？ 没错，希望你可爱的口才给这份工作增添活力 谢谢，你没选错人 明天见 啥? 我当上初级版权人了！ 强！ 恭喜 宝贝，以你为荣！ 今晚我有好享受？ 还用说！不看电视了！ 你得到喜欢的工作,太棒了 谢谢 我也有贡献哦 是吗？说来听听 刚才玩许愿骨的时候 我许的愿不是中头奖 而是希望你获得工作 这样？ 别让莫妮知道.她会叫你好看 好. 我本有一点相信我们会赢 我也是。恐龙和Amelia Earhart主题公园泡汤啦 各位,威力球号码？ 7号 我们赢了. 啊? 我们赢了! 我看！ 别撕烂了. 菲比，前五个号码都不对! 我知！但我们买对威力球号码了！ 我们赢了三块钱！ 可以养活咱们20年、 或者好好挥霍一番！ 不管！我连尾奖都没得过！ 菲比，你拿3圆干嘛？ 不是我一人的， 每人50美分 我的给你 我也是 我也是 我也是 好吧，既然你们大家都捐了 我打电话给威力球热线，居然没人赢大奖 不敢苟同 没人赢得累积奖金 但刚才有人在这里说， 他就在外面街上捡的彩票 赢了一万圆 咕咕，别怪美女 不是她的错 是鸽子我惹的祸，咕咕 说真的，别瞪她 |
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