Unit卫阶4
The following text is extracted from Marriages and Families by Nijole V Benokraitis. The book has been ud as a text book for sociology cours and women studies in a number of universities in the United States. It highlights important contemporary changes in society and the family and explores the choices that are available to family members, as well as the constraints that many of us do not recognize. It examines the diversity of American families today, using cross-cultural and multicultural comparisons to encourage creative thinking about the many critical issues that confront the family of the twenty fist century.
Love and Loving Relationships
Nijole V. Benokraitis
和女朋友的第一次1.Love-as both an emotion and a behavior-is esntial for human survival- The family is usually our earliest and most important source of love and emotional support. Babies and children deprived of love have been known to develop a wide variety of problems- for exam
穿越小说推荐ple, depression, headaches, physiological impairments, and neurotic and psychosomatic difficulties- that sometimes last a lifetime. In contrast, infants who are loved and cuddled typically gain more weight, cry less, and smile more. By five years of age, they have been found to have significantly higher IQs and to score higher on language tests.
2.Much rearch shows that the quality of care infants receive affects how they later get along with friends, how well they do in school, how they react to new and possibly stressful situations, and how they form and maintain loving relationships as adults. It is for the reasons that people's early intimate relationships within their family of origin are so critical. Children who are raid in impersonal environments (orphanage, some foster homes, or unloving families) show emotional and social underdevelopment, language and motor skills retardation, and mental health problems.
3.关于数学的知识甘蔗的作用与功效Love for onelf, or lf-love, is also esntial for our social and emotional development. Actress Mae West once said, "I never loved another person the way I loved mylf." Although such a statement may em lf-centered, it's actually quite insightful S赵匡胤的拼音
ocial scientists describe lf-love as an important oasis for lf- esteem. Among other things, people who like themlves are more open to criticism and less demanding of others. Fromm (1956) saw lf-love as a necessary prerequisite for loving others. People who don't like themlves may not be able to return love but may constancy ek love relationships to bolster their own poor lf-images. But just what is love? What brings people together?
4.Love is an elusive concept. We have all experienced love and feel we know what it is; however, when asked what love is, people give a variety of answers. According to a nine- year-old boy, for example, "Love is like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." What we mean by love depends on whether we are talking about love for family members, friends, or lovers. Love has been a source of inspiration, wry witticisms, and even political action for many centuries.
5.Love has many dimensions. It can be romantic, exciting, obssive, and irrational- It can also be platonic, calming, altruistic, and nsible. Many rearchers feel that love def
ies a single definition becau it varies in degree and intensity and across social contexts. At the very least, three elements are necessary for a loving relationship: (1) a willingness to plea and accommodate the other person, even if this involves compromi and sacrifice; (2) an acceptance of the other person's faults and shortcomings; and (3) as much concern about the loved one's welfare as one's own. And, people who say they are "in love" emphasize caring, intimacy, and commitment.
6.大名传In any type of love, caring about the other person is esntial. Although love may, involve passionate yearning, respect is a more important quality. Respect is inherent in all love: "I want the loved person to grow and unfold for his own sake, and in his own ways, and not for the purpo of rving me." If respect and caring are missing, the relationship is not bad on love. Instead, it is an unhealthy or posssive dependency that limits the lovers' social, emotional, and intellectual growth.
7.Love, especially long-term love, has nothing in common with the images of love or .frenzied x that we get from Hollywood, television, and romance novels. Becau of the
images, many people believe a variety of myths about love. The misconceptions often lead to unrealistic expectations, stereotypes, and disillusionment. In fact, "real" love is clor to what one author called "stirring-the-oatmeal love" (Johnson 1985). This type of love is neither exciting nor thrilling but is relatively mundane and unromantic. It means paying bills, putting out the garbage, scrubbing toilet bowls, being up all night with a sick baby, and performing myriad other ' oatmeal" tasks that are not very xy.
8.Some partners take turns stirring the oatmeal. Other people ek relationships that offer candlelit gourmet meals in a romantic tting. Whether we decide to enter a rious relationship or not, what type of love brings people together?
9.What attracts individuals to each other in the first place? Many people believe that "there's one person out there that one is meant for" and that destiny will bring them together. Such beliefs are romantic but unrealistic. Empirical studies show that cultural norms and values, not fate, bring people together We will never meet millions of potential lovers becau they are "filtered out" by formal or informal rules on partner eligibility due t
中国海关出版社on factors such as age, race, distance, Social class, religion, xual orientation, health, or physical appearance.
10.Beginning in childhood, parents encourage or limit future romantic liaisons by lecting certain neighborhoods and schools. In early adolescence, pear norms influence the adolescent's decisions about acceptable romantic involvements ("You want to date who?!"). Even during the preteen years, romantic experiences are cultured in the n that societal and group practices and expectations shape romantic experience. Although romance may cross cultural or ethnic borders, criticism and approval teach us what is acceptable romantic behavior and with whom. One might "lust" for someone, but the yearnings will not lead most of us to "fall in love" if there are strong cultural or group bans.
