The challenge of indifference
1 Here’s one from the life obrvation pile.
2 In high school I had the good fortune to have very silly friends. We’d do silly things like make loud nois, strange moves (thanks Mr Reinstein) or sing silly songs, often in the cafeteria for others to e. And I quickly learned a surprising lesson: When you behave oddly on purpo, other people feel more embarrasd than you do. They don’t know how to respond, so they mostly pretend not to e or hear you. We’d do wild and crazy things, and instead of being picked on or laughed at, people simply left us alone.
3 This was wonderfully liberating. I learned how being bold, even if silly or bizarre, tends to put people on their heels.
pretend什么意思4 But now as an adult I find this distressing. I know, all things being equal, most will pretend to be indifferent, even if, in their hearts they’re curious about what you are doing and why.
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lowe
sunny是什么意思5 Ca in point: Yesterday I was in Pike Place Market. Walking up Post Alley after lunch, there was a ries of buskers (street musicians). Each one with a guitar, or a banjo, singing their hearts out. Many of them were very good. So I stopped at each one to listen. And as I did, plead with my cheap front row at, I couldn’t help but notice all the people walking past, who pretended I and the buskers weren’t even there.
什么是会计学 6 It emed bizarre someone performing, on the street, putting their heart into something by putting
it out into the world, garnered almost no reaction to most who walked past. They gave more attention to the advertiments, the street signs, the backs of the people in front of them, than real live musicians providing something unique and alive. It’s odd how we can watch five hours of television a day, complaining about how bad and unreal much of it is (especially the reality shows), and yet walk past musicians without even a momentary pau to absorb the vibe they are making. Forget for a moment even giving them money – I mean, even acknowledging with a glance or a pau that they are there, which is something, in and of itlf – given how few do it.
7 And as I stood there, I started to feel weird. Why am I the only one listening? Even though I knew it was right in the n this is something alive and
real and I can spare at least 30 conds for that – it felt weird simply becau no one el was doing it. Had there been a crowd around any one of the buskers, more people would stop to listen, simply becau they could do it without having to stand out.
清大教育在线8 It was amazing how we can be so indifferent – until I realized I’m likely just as indifferent mylf, it’s just to different things. And tho things are ones I don’t notice any more, so I don’t notice not noticing them. It’s a trap. What el am I missing that I should be attentive to, I wondered? And can I answer that question alone?
9 And there’s this bigger idea, that interesting stuff is everywhere all the time if you open your eyes to it. Teresa Brazen made this short, simple video a year ago, and it’s stuck with me since. I thought about it after listening to the busker, asking mylf – couldn’t that same street have been interesting if I had chon to be patient enough to make it so?
pixie lott
10 I have this theory called the challenge of indifference. As we grow up, we’re taught lf-control and how to focus ourlves, tuning out things that are “wrong”, or “juvenile” or “wastes of time”. We become indifferent to the whims of the child mind, trading it in for suits and resumés, the tools of success in the adult world. But success becomes boring. For most knowledge worker types, success is abstract. We move stuff around we can’t hold in our hands, or get paid to do boring stuff for people who we never meet and don’t really even like.
11 The challenge then, as an adult, once you’ve found your career, or a partner, and ttled down, is to undo indifference, as that’s where (some kinds of) happiness is: in paying attention in the ways we did when things were new, and we were young enough not to judge everything so quickly. We all still have that little voice in our heads that whispers “this is cool” or “this is different” or even “wait – what is this? Let’s e”, but it’s pounded into submission by the stodgy, gruff, and stronger rational adult voice we’ve depended on to get us the external things we’ve chad most of our lives.
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12 I know many people feel fundamentally bored or frustrated with (parts of) their lives and have been for some time. And they’re surprid they feel this way – after all, they’re successful, more or less. They expected that fact to be enough to make them happy the rest of their lives, as that’s the mythical bargain many of us learn growing up. But we’re never told that success often demands an indifference to the wonders of the real, or the magic of the ridiculous. I was deeply affected by films like Fight Club and American Beauty, in part becau they attack the middle-class American notion of success by showing how empty a “successful” life can be and how bad we are at eing how we created that emptiness ourlves, and can only fix it ourlves, from the inside out. If years ago we shed the natural awe we should have for all sorts of things, especially tho unafraid to live primarily for their passions, like street musicians, or chefs, or craftsmen of any kind do – we forget the difference between eing things for what they are instead of what we’ve been told, or told ourlves, they’re suppod to be.
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